DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not
my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.
***
*********
He had been awake for only two minutes. Jesse gave good balance to himself with his arms so he could receive a clearer view of the Feral sleeping next to him. He smiled. It felt good to sleep next to her once again. His fingers touched the edge of her tired shoulder. He had confessed last night that he lacked the confidence about leaving her to sleep on her own but he was thankful that she did not hear him or at least he hoped it was that way.
"Good morning," he whispered but was discouraged from any real response when her stillness gave him a negative and silent answer.
Her back was turned to him like this when he entered her room on that surprisingly sunny afternoon. Although her face was temporarily invisible to him, he could tell by the motion of her body and the various bags and clothes that were spread across the room that she was packing. Shalimar and Brennan were supposed to leave the next day. In the silence disturbed only by the small bushing from the Feral, Jesse stood there in the doorway as he stared at the damp yellow color of her hair. She would be leaving tomorrow and he would not see her for an unknown amount of time.
He was satisfied that Brennan was not in the room or Emma. Jesse wanted to be alone with Shalimar for a while, to talk to her with only the room's decorative dead objects and silence as their companions... like they used to be before the team had increased the number of members. They still had their intimate moments but those had become sacredly rare. He did not know whether it was from the enormous amount of time she was spending with Brennan or if something else was changing. Whatever it was, it made him long for the past. They were friends; they were, one could say, best friends. Their friendship was older than the one shared with Emma and Brennan and that was something special, both to Shalimar and Jesse.
They were siblings; their bond was that of the kind shared between two people birthed by the same mother. Everyone who had gotten to spend longer time with them had come up with the same conclusion; everyone except for Kathy, a teenage Telekinetic who had been hiding at Sanctuary for a small period of time. She and Jesse had been sitting on the table one afternoon, just starting their lunch as they had arrived later when everyone else had finished and left when she asked: "Are you two going out?" A puzzled look from the Molecular was received to this unexpected question and a quick dismissal but not before a demand for a reason appeared. Her only explanation had been of a young pair she had known for a while whose closeness had resembled Shalimar and Jesse's, although she did not specify whether the couple had been romantically involved or not.
Going out... they had never considered anything beyond their solid friendship. The reason? They did not feel the need to take such bolder steps. That was the source of the puzzled look.
He was looking at her now, absorbing every inch of her body to help his mind build a concrete image of her on the walls of his insides, a picture fashioned with such perfection that it could never leave his memory, not even if he were to desperately wish for such absence. He smiled tamely once more. Jesse knew he could never wish for such meaningless deficiency from his memory. It was simply impossible.
He then took a few steps forward. "Pretty busy, eh?" he asked almost nervously.
Shalimar smiled while her back was still facing him. "Yeah."
"Need help?"
She turned to him, eyeing him up carefully. "No, I'm fine," and nodded.
"Ok." he sighed and shoved his hands in the insides of his pockets. "I still can't believe we're going to separate like this..." It could have been interpreted as an attempt for some sort of a conversation but these two could feel the bottomless meaning behind every word, following them like tiny ants.
"Me neither. Do you need help?" he asked as if the first attempt for assistance hadn't been made.
"No, Jesse... again. I'm almost done," Shalimar assured him with a smile.
He kept quiet for a while, considering whether to bring the subject into the light or not. "So you've definitely decided to go with Brennan?"
Shalimar nodded and continued folding the red blouse that she was holding.
"You're sure?"
Slowing down her movements, the Feral sent him a baffled gaze that was quickly wiped away by a quiet chuckle. "Yes. What, you're worried?"
He was. The knowledge that she would be so far away had taken a hold on his heart, squeezing it gently but still achingly whenever a thought about it would frequently occur. "No... it's just... It'll be weird not having you around."
She placed the blouse inside the black bag on the bed. "It won't be forever." Finally she turned towards Jesse and approached him. Shalimar understood his worry. It was growing difficult for her to slash any contact with him for such a painfully longer time.
His lips pressed tightly against each other until the pale color of red was temporarily squeezed out by a baize nuance. He saw the unrelenting grains of agony behind her pupils because of this decision and he felt with her; Jesse felt with her like she felt with him. It had been a mutual agony and a mutual, desperate attempt to find another more satisfying solution. He would ask her. Maybe there could be hope... "You can come with me."
This forced her eyes to begin with a hurried search for a visible reason behind his question. If it had been another situation, Shalimar would have brushed that suggestion off as a joke. Jesse must have known that. Now however, everything was different. The lingering side-effects of the earlier tragedy had pitilessly ripped away any possibility for a cheerful atmosphere or even a moment. It was influencing their minds and tampering with their sensitive areas that housed the emotions of pleasure and pain. There have been a number of times when the belongings of those emotions would be confused and switched with such deviousness that the result was a tiring blow to the owners' psyche.
Shalimar had been sitting down two days before, smiling weakly at the warmness and brightness of the day, even tempting the situation for a joke when a sudden shift inside her had rapidly increased her breathing, pushing forward the tears and sending irritating shivers like cold liquid through her body. The rare moment of pleasure was mercilessly subdued under a primitive loss of control and seemingly endless sobbing. Each sound wave probed deeper through the corridors of her companion, raising the level or concern. Jesse had witnessed that moment; it had only been him who was sitting on the bench with her. Like a scared kitten, she pushed franticly next to her, almost digging into Jesse for a safe spot to hide away. He embraced her protectively, letting the endless tears from her eyes water the woolen fabric of his sweater and giving him the challenge of easing her shivering. It had been a strange and dire evening.
She shook her head with an accompanying verbal response: "I can't."
This was wrong. "Please?" he took a step further with his word.
"No." She wanted to put a coating of harshness over her response but it did not work.
"Are you sure it's a good idea to go with Brennan?" he then asked her.
She cocked her head back in surprise. "Why wouldn't it be?"
He shut down the rest of his sentences. Whatever he might have said next would have unjustifiably sound as an accusation and unneeded domineering... something which Shalimar did not prefer. He lowered his head in the sand of shame instead.
Jesse lost himself for a moment in a pallid fog of nothingness until his cheeks felt the warmth of her palms. The skin on those palms had lesser smoothness that he'd remembered. Slowly she lifted his head up until their stares were aligned. Jesse then knew she understood. She had to.
It was only for a moment that their eyes were locked together before Shalimar stepped up to embrace her friend. "I worry more about you than you do about me..." she sighed with a false smile. "You should know by now, right? So, I should be the one, pacing around and biting my nails like a lunatic, wondering if you're ok or not."
He could sense the forced feeling of comfort in her words and the constant brushing of her fingers against the back of his neck. Perhaps she wanted to hungrily savor everything about him with an unnoticeable effort. Her embrace tightened. This must have been more difficult for her than it had been for him. But that was not a plausible thought. At least she would not be alone. There was no need for this.
His hands hurried to capture her in a tighter embrace.
Her irregular breathing signaled the struggle for words to be expressed. Jesse shut his eyes tightly. She was his best friend. He'd never been apart from his best friend for a hideously long time before. How was it going to affect him? Better than expected? Or worse?
She would miss him but would it be more than him? "Please," he started, "can't you come?" the begging in his words was clinging with its last strength to the edge of calm normality before falling into a least expected desperation.
"No..." something had begun swimming in her throat. Her words were no longer as clear. I want to but..." she took in a deep breath to try and force down the gooey mass that fuzzed her words. It did not work. "I want to... but I think Brennan needs me more."
That was a lie and both of them knew it without the conscious realization. The earlier tragedy had made bottomless marks on them, messing up their sensitivity levels. But Jesse was more sensitive than Brennan... his need for Shalimar's company was greater than that of the Elemental's. He sighed. He would not pressure her. They were in love, he had told himself, and people in love should not be separated like that and not in such depressing times.
He loved her, too. Perhaps not in a blinding and romantic way but he did love her. This was why he chose not to speak any further but simply enjoy the lovingly warm embrace of his friend. He would not experience this for an uncertain time and he wanted to absorb as much of it as he could. Unfortunately that warmth and the strangely mild air started to sting his eyes, forcing them to protect themselves with tears.
"I'm gonna miss my best friend..." she whispered, trying dreadfully to fight back her own tears that could affect the sound of her words even more.
His arm rested securely over her upper body as she lay with her blonde locks strewn lifelessly on the pillow that let Jesse's blue eyes drown willingly in that sun-painted color. He pressed his lips once more. That was a year ago. She was here now but she felt like she was slowly slipping away somehow. He kissed her shoulder, wishing the rough fabric of her robe did not separate his lips from her bare skin. He wishfully begged that she would heal soon. He did not dare to think of her complete detachment from him and from life.
"My best friend..." he whispered and closed his eyes. The smell that emerged from her hair had rushed through him like electricity, prompting him to remain a little longer by her side.
*********
***
*********
He had been awake for only two minutes. Jesse gave good balance to himself with his arms so he could receive a clearer view of the Feral sleeping next to him. He smiled. It felt good to sleep next to her once again. His fingers touched the edge of her tired shoulder. He had confessed last night that he lacked the confidence about leaving her to sleep on her own but he was thankful that she did not hear him or at least he hoped it was that way.
"Good morning," he whispered but was discouraged from any real response when her stillness gave him a negative and silent answer.
Her back was turned to him like this when he entered her room on that surprisingly sunny afternoon. Although her face was temporarily invisible to him, he could tell by the motion of her body and the various bags and clothes that were spread across the room that she was packing. Shalimar and Brennan were supposed to leave the next day. In the silence disturbed only by the small bushing from the Feral, Jesse stood there in the doorway as he stared at the damp yellow color of her hair. She would be leaving tomorrow and he would not see her for an unknown amount of time.
He was satisfied that Brennan was not in the room or Emma. Jesse wanted to be alone with Shalimar for a while, to talk to her with only the room's decorative dead objects and silence as their companions... like they used to be before the team had increased the number of members. They still had their intimate moments but those had become sacredly rare. He did not know whether it was from the enormous amount of time she was spending with Brennan or if something else was changing. Whatever it was, it made him long for the past. They were friends; they were, one could say, best friends. Their friendship was older than the one shared with Emma and Brennan and that was something special, both to Shalimar and Jesse.
They were siblings; their bond was that of the kind shared between two people birthed by the same mother. Everyone who had gotten to spend longer time with them had come up with the same conclusion; everyone except for Kathy, a teenage Telekinetic who had been hiding at Sanctuary for a small period of time. She and Jesse had been sitting on the table one afternoon, just starting their lunch as they had arrived later when everyone else had finished and left when she asked: "Are you two going out?" A puzzled look from the Molecular was received to this unexpected question and a quick dismissal but not before a demand for a reason appeared. Her only explanation had been of a young pair she had known for a while whose closeness had resembled Shalimar and Jesse's, although she did not specify whether the couple had been romantically involved or not.
Going out... they had never considered anything beyond their solid friendship. The reason? They did not feel the need to take such bolder steps. That was the source of the puzzled look.
He was looking at her now, absorbing every inch of her body to help his mind build a concrete image of her on the walls of his insides, a picture fashioned with such perfection that it could never leave his memory, not even if he were to desperately wish for such absence. He smiled tamely once more. Jesse knew he could never wish for such meaningless deficiency from his memory. It was simply impossible.
He then took a few steps forward. "Pretty busy, eh?" he asked almost nervously.
Shalimar smiled while her back was still facing him. "Yeah."
"Need help?"
She turned to him, eyeing him up carefully. "No, I'm fine," and nodded.
"Ok." he sighed and shoved his hands in the insides of his pockets. "I still can't believe we're going to separate like this..." It could have been interpreted as an attempt for some sort of a conversation but these two could feel the bottomless meaning behind every word, following them like tiny ants.
"Me neither. Do you need help?" he asked as if the first attempt for assistance hadn't been made.
"No, Jesse... again. I'm almost done," Shalimar assured him with a smile.
He kept quiet for a while, considering whether to bring the subject into the light or not. "So you've definitely decided to go with Brennan?"
Shalimar nodded and continued folding the red blouse that she was holding.
"You're sure?"
Slowing down her movements, the Feral sent him a baffled gaze that was quickly wiped away by a quiet chuckle. "Yes. What, you're worried?"
He was. The knowledge that she would be so far away had taken a hold on his heart, squeezing it gently but still achingly whenever a thought about it would frequently occur. "No... it's just... It'll be weird not having you around."
She placed the blouse inside the black bag on the bed. "It won't be forever." Finally she turned towards Jesse and approached him. Shalimar understood his worry. It was growing difficult for her to slash any contact with him for such a painfully longer time.
His lips pressed tightly against each other until the pale color of red was temporarily squeezed out by a baize nuance. He saw the unrelenting grains of agony behind her pupils because of this decision and he felt with her; Jesse felt with her like she felt with him. It had been a mutual agony and a mutual, desperate attempt to find another more satisfying solution. He would ask her. Maybe there could be hope... "You can come with me."
This forced her eyes to begin with a hurried search for a visible reason behind his question. If it had been another situation, Shalimar would have brushed that suggestion off as a joke. Jesse must have known that. Now however, everything was different. The lingering side-effects of the earlier tragedy had pitilessly ripped away any possibility for a cheerful atmosphere or even a moment. It was influencing their minds and tampering with their sensitive areas that housed the emotions of pleasure and pain. There have been a number of times when the belongings of those emotions would be confused and switched with such deviousness that the result was a tiring blow to the owners' psyche.
Shalimar had been sitting down two days before, smiling weakly at the warmness and brightness of the day, even tempting the situation for a joke when a sudden shift inside her had rapidly increased her breathing, pushing forward the tears and sending irritating shivers like cold liquid through her body. The rare moment of pleasure was mercilessly subdued under a primitive loss of control and seemingly endless sobbing. Each sound wave probed deeper through the corridors of her companion, raising the level or concern. Jesse had witnessed that moment; it had only been him who was sitting on the bench with her. Like a scared kitten, she pushed franticly next to her, almost digging into Jesse for a safe spot to hide away. He embraced her protectively, letting the endless tears from her eyes water the woolen fabric of his sweater and giving him the challenge of easing her shivering. It had been a strange and dire evening.
She shook her head with an accompanying verbal response: "I can't."
This was wrong. "Please?" he took a step further with his word.
"No." She wanted to put a coating of harshness over her response but it did not work.
"Are you sure it's a good idea to go with Brennan?" he then asked her.
She cocked her head back in surprise. "Why wouldn't it be?"
He shut down the rest of his sentences. Whatever he might have said next would have unjustifiably sound as an accusation and unneeded domineering... something which Shalimar did not prefer. He lowered his head in the sand of shame instead.
Jesse lost himself for a moment in a pallid fog of nothingness until his cheeks felt the warmth of her palms. The skin on those palms had lesser smoothness that he'd remembered. Slowly she lifted his head up until their stares were aligned. Jesse then knew she understood. She had to.
It was only for a moment that their eyes were locked together before Shalimar stepped up to embrace her friend. "I worry more about you than you do about me..." she sighed with a false smile. "You should know by now, right? So, I should be the one, pacing around and biting my nails like a lunatic, wondering if you're ok or not."
He could sense the forced feeling of comfort in her words and the constant brushing of her fingers against the back of his neck. Perhaps she wanted to hungrily savor everything about him with an unnoticeable effort. Her embrace tightened. This must have been more difficult for her than it had been for him. But that was not a plausible thought. At least she would not be alone. There was no need for this.
His hands hurried to capture her in a tighter embrace.
Her irregular breathing signaled the struggle for words to be expressed. Jesse shut his eyes tightly. She was his best friend. He'd never been apart from his best friend for a hideously long time before. How was it going to affect him? Better than expected? Or worse?
She would miss him but would it be more than him? "Please," he started, "can't you come?" the begging in his words was clinging with its last strength to the edge of calm normality before falling into a least expected desperation.
"No..." something had begun swimming in her throat. Her words were no longer as clear. I want to but..." she took in a deep breath to try and force down the gooey mass that fuzzed her words. It did not work. "I want to... but I think Brennan needs me more."
That was a lie and both of them knew it without the conscious realization. The earlier tragedy had made bottomless marks on them, messing up their sensitivity levels. But Jesse was more sensitive than Brennan... his need for Shalimar's company was greater than that of the Elemental's. He sighed. He would not pressure her. They were in love, he had told himself, and people in love should not be separated like that and not in such depressing times.
He loved her, too. Perhaps not in a blinding and romantic way but he did love her. This was why he chose not to speak any further but simply enjoy the lovingly warm embrace of his friend. He would not experience this for an uncertain time and he wanted to absorb as much of it as he could. Unfortunately that warmth and the strangely mild air started to sting his eyes, forcing them to protect themselves with tears.
"I'm gonna miss my best friend..." she whispered, trying dreadfully to fight back her own tears that could affect the sound of her words even more.
His arm rested securely over her upper body as she lay with her blonde locks strewn lifelessly on the pillow that let Jesse's blue eyes drown willingly in that sun-painted color. He pressed his lips once more. That was a year ago. She was here now but she felt like she was slowly slipping away somehow. He kissed her shoulder, wishing the rough fabric of her robe did not separate his lips from her bare skin. He wishfully begged that she would heal soon. He did not dare to think of her complete detachment from him and from life.
"My best friend..." he whispered and closed his eyes. The smell that emerged from her hair had rushed through him like electricity, prompting him to remain a little longer by her side.
*********