Okay, this chapter is dedicated to, and solely for, Innodea, who
reviewed this awful thing and gave me a pepsi to keep writing it.
It's all for you.
*******************************************************
Kitty sat on a chair next to a hospital-type bed in another part of the infirmary. She watched with a sobriety that would have been uncharacteristic of her before the battle, as Todd, the occupant of the bed, looked down at his hands. Hands that were bandaged from the elbow to the wrist.
He felt incredibly stupid.
"I feel incredibly stupid."
Kitty said nothing.
"I don't know why I... I just didn't feel like I should have been here anymore. I wasn't thinking straight yo, it just... kinda, happened."
When Kitty spoke it sounded harsh and angry and bitter.
"So you, like, thought that it would be okay to just, like, leave us like that?"
"I'm sorry yo. I just, I couldn't take it any more."
Kitty suddenly stood, the chair toppling behind her. Todd flinched away slightly, not because she was so angry, but because she could also see that she had been afraid and upset. She didn't want to lose another friend, they were all the others had after the bloody massacre. Her eyes looked wet, but she didn't cry. She might have done in the past, but now... she didn't cry.
"Why didn't you tell anyone then? Why did you have to..." She gestured to his mummified arms. "Damnit Todd, we don't need to, like, lose anymore of our family. You never told any of us, you could have told one of us, we could have helped you. What if you had died!"
Todd snapped back.
"I said I was sorry, yo! I tried to pretend like none of it ever happened, but I couldn't keep going on, an' it seemed like the thing to do at the time."
He calmed down a little.
"I didn't mean to upset you. I just... I dunno. Maybe I just need some more time yo."
Kitty stood there, Todd looking back at her, and her anger finally left her. She leant forward and awkwardly hugged Todd around the neck before leaving to go out of the room.
"Just don't do it again, okay."
He nodded at her as she left.
He really hadn't planned to cut his wrists open, but he'd just sort of snapped. The only reason he had surivived the attack when the rest of them had fallen was because he had been knocked out halfway through and then protected by Fred. When they had taken the large boy down with a heavy duty missile, he had fallen almost onto the smaller teen, and they had both been taken for dead. It was only at the smoky, terribly quiet end of the battle that Lance had found him, picked him up and carried him back to the other survivors.
Todd felt guilty for living when he was the weakest member of the Brotherhood, and also for wishing that more of the X-men had died rather than the only other members of their unrelated family apart from him and Lance. Kitty's sentiments had finally made him realise that he had another family. It wasn't better, and it wasn't new, but felt more like something that had already been there, and had just needed something like the recent catastrophe to fully rise.
They had all been different, they were all more adult with a dark cloud hanging over them- the weight of being the ones left alive. The strange new people that they had become had panicked Todd, so he acted up to try and counter the overall; hanging depression which had tainted the group. Of all of them, it had been Lance's withdrawal that had jarred with Todd the most. Being left on his own for most of the time had finally taken it's toll on him, leaving him with too much opportuniy to beat himself up over the death's of Pietro and Fred especially. So he had taken a razor from the bathroom and had clumsily slit his wrists.
He felt... different now. The spinning, white-out feeling of being out of control had faded and he was left with a strange full feeling of emptiness. It was hard to explain. He just felt... heavier inside. He sighed and looked down at his mutilated wrists, then lay back and closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep despite the nagging itch underneath the bandages and the screams of the dying still in his ears.
******************************************************* Sorry it's so short, but I just realised that this is the old version of the fic, and the new version is on a disk somewhere, with more parts. Don't worry, I'll post the next bit soon.
It's all for you.
*******************************************************
Kitty sat on a chair next to a hospital-type bed in another part of the infirmary. She watched with a sobriety that would have been uncharacteristic of her before the battle, as Todd, the occupant of the bed, looked down at his hands. Hands that were bandaged from the elbow to the wrist.
He felt incredibly stupid.
"I feel incredibly stupid."
Kitty said nothing.
"I don't know why I... I just didn't feel like I should have been here anymore. I wasn't thinking straight yo, it just... kinda, happened."
When Kitty spoke it sounded harsh and angry and bitter.
"So you, like, thought that it would be okay to just, like, leave us like that?"
"I'm sorry yo. I just, I couldn't take it any more."
Kitty suddenly stood, the chair toppling behind her. Todd flinched away slightly, not because she was so angry, but because she could also see that she had been afraid and upset. She didn't want to lose another friend, they were all the others had after the bloody massacre. Her eyes looked wet, but she didn't cry. She might have done in the past, but now... she didn't cry.
"Why didn't you tell anyone then? Why did you have to..." She gestured to his mummified arms. "Damnit Todd, we don't need to, like, lose anymore of our family. You never told any of us, you could have told one of us, we could have helped you. What if you had died!"
Todd snapped back.
"I said I was sorry, yo! I tried to pretend like none of it ever happened, but I couldn't keep going on, an' it seemed like the thing to do at the time."
He calmed down a little.
"I didn't mean to upset you. I just... I dunno. Maybe I just need some more time yo."
Kitty stood there, Todd looking back at her, and her anger finally left her. She leant forward and awkwardly hugged Todd around the neck before leaving to go out of the room.
"Just don't do it again, okay."
He nodded at her as she left.
He really hadn't planned to cut his wrists open, but he'd just sort of snapped. The only reason he had surivived the attack when the rest of them had fallen was because he had been knocked out halfway through and then protected by Fred. When they had taken the large boy down with a heavy duty missile, he had fallen almost onto the smaller teen, and they had both been taken for dead. It was only at the smoky, terribly quiet end of the battle that Lance had found him, picked him up and carried him back to the other survivors.
Todd felt guilty for living when he was the weakest member of the Brotherhood, and also for wishing that more of the X-men had died rather than the only other members of their unrelated family apart from him and Lance. Kitty's sentiments had finally made him realise that he had another family. It wasn't better, and it wasn't new, but felt more like something that had already been there, and had just needed something like the recent catastrophe to fully rise.
They had all been different, they were all more adult with a dark cloud hanging over them- the weight of being the ones left alive. The strange new people that they had become had panicked Todd, so he acted up to try and counter the overall; hanging depression which had tainted the group. Of all of them, it had been Lance's withdrawal that had jarred with Todd the most. Being left on his own for most of the time had finally taken it's toll on him, leaving him with too much opportuniy to beat himself up over the death's of Pietro and Fred especially. So he had taken a razor from the bathroom and had clumsily slit his wrists.
He felt... different now. The spinning, white-out feeling of being out of control had faded and he was left with a strange full feeling of emptiness. It was hard to explain. He just felt... heavier inside. He sighed and looked down at his mutilated wrists, then lay back and closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep despite the nagging itch underneath the bandages and the screams of the dying still in his ears.
******************************************************* Sorry it's so short, but I just realised that this is the old version of the fic, and the new version is on a disk somewhere, with more parts. Don't worry, I'll post the next bit soon.