Trip and Malcolm silently consoled each other allowing Hoshi and T'Pol to pilot the shuttle back to Enterprise. Trip's hatred of his betrayal had melted when he saw Malcolm crying openly when he had heard Madison had been killed when she transported to the planet. Trip had felt like all his insides had been ripped out. His mouth was dry as he attempted to talk.
"You loved her didn't you?" Trip asked moving to the seat beside Malcolm. "Did she feel the same?" Trip questioned.
"I don't know." Malcolm answered honestly holding her urn. "I'll never know." He sighed. "She did love you though. Once, at least."
"Oh I know that! And I screwed up, I mustn't have loved her... I wouldn't have given up so easily. Her father told me not to keep in touch, that she didn't want to know me and that once he'd found out what I'd done to hurt her-"
"-You didn't resign for her?" Malcolm looked at Trip for the first time. Trip's face was also awash with tears he shook his head.
"She did it herself." Trip hugged his leg. "Because of something she thought I'd done. If only I'd gotten in touch."
"Neither of you resigned for her. Her father played you against each other, lucky that Klingon came when it though." Malcolm was deep in thought. "She became a slave the week we left Earth Trip."
"I sent her to her death." Trip wept. "All because I didn't love her enough."
"Hang on Trip... If her father played you against each other then. What's to say he's not doing now?" Malcolm looked at the urn. "You still might have the chance to win her back."
"She's dead Malcolm." Trip took the urn from him and placed it in a cargo box. "You only knew her for a few hours, I've known her for most of my life. I know it's time to let go-"
"Only because you already had!" Malcolm spat. "That's your problem, you didn't have faith in her. I may have only known her a few hours but in that time I found out she was devoted to you, you had no reason to doubt her." Malcolm lunged at him. Trip's head hit the wall of the shuttle. "If I was you, I would've told her father to screw himself and took the next transport to find her."
"You haven't a clue do you-"
"No, I do Trip. I know what stopped you from going. You knew it wasn't her who's resigned. It was the opportunity of Chief. If you'd gone to get her, Enterprise would have left without both of you-" The truth hurt so much that Trip grabbed the box in which Madison's urn was placed and smashed it against Malcolm's skull, the impact of the box against the shuttle's floor as Trip's hands reached for Malcolm's throat allowed a coolant canister to leak and explode. Both Trip and Malcolm where knocked out instantly.
**********************************************************
Malcolm began to stir, his head throbbing from the impact of his skull against the side of the shuttle. Where he was he was uncertain, but wherever it was. He never wanted to leave. A warm hand mopped his forehead lovingly. A sweet smell of roses and honey smothered him softly while a familiar voice sang to him. It was a dream, but Malcolm Reed didn't have dreams. He opened his eyes to find Madison smiling at him.
"I thought you were dead." Malcolm looked around the room. An apartment on Earth, years from now.
"Shhh. It was a dream." Madison whispered, reaching over him to his side table. A bump brushed his cheek, she was pregnant with his child. "You really have to stop having these nightmares." she mopped the sweat that beaded from his forehead.
"We're home now. We got through it and you found me." Madison kissed him. To Malcolm it felt so real. "When no one believed I was alive you did."
"Madison-" Malcolm stopped her. His lips couldn't resist hers a moment longer. If this was a dream he never wanted to end. This is what he wanted cupping her hands in his tracing his finger around her wedding ring. But why were they back on Earth? He'd want to live his life on Enterprise with his wife and child. He felt as if he was reading a book from half way through. It's only a dream, Malcolm reassured himself, dreams don't make sense. He held her swollen stomach, the life inside felt so real he wanted to cry. "Have you thought of a name?" Malcolm asked as she settled herself beside him.
"Have you banged your head." Madison laughed softly. "We thought about Jonathan, but then you realised you didn't want the reminder so we decided on Cole-"
"Reminder of what?" Malcolm had a sudden sense of prophecy. He didn't want to know the answer to the question.
"You killed him Malcolm. He wouldn't let you leave and find me so you killed him." Madison's eyes filled with tears. "The dream must have been bad. Try and get some sleep."
"I wouldn't kill the Captain." Malcolm got up. "Are you lying to me?" He wanted nothing more than to wake up.
"You tell me. I'm only repeating what you told me Malcolm." Malcolm couldn't take it anymore, he got off the bed and ran through the bedroom door.
**********************************************************
"Malcolm." The Captain's voice penetrated the nightmare. Malcolm shot up violently, caught by Jonathan's tight grip. "It's ok Malcolm, you were caught in a small blast. You're ok."
"Madison..." Malcolm mumbled dully, meaning to finish his sentence. Trying to take note of the dream that was rapidly fading from memory.
"She's dead Malcolm." Jonathan watched Malcolm's second reaction to the news of Madison's death. His heart broke as he watched his grown armoury officer weep like a child. "If only I knew what affect she'd have had on you-"
"You would have stopped us from meeting?" Malcolm angrily questioned, forgetting who he was talking to.
"I wouldn't have left you alone." Jonathan answered honestly. His main priority was to protect all involved. Jonathan was preoccupied with the matter of Madison and Trip he'd forgotten that Madison was venerable to
seduction. Not that he believed for a moment it was entirely Malcolm's fault.
"If we were meant to be together. It wouldn't have mattered." Malcolm answered. "Would it have been protection for her or for me?" He added as a second thought.
"Both. I've lost a good engineer, the relationship between you and Trip has suffered and I can't send either of you back to work because you are grieving."
"I'm prepared to work-"
"I'm not letting you. I'm two weeks we'll pass Riser. I want you and Trip to grieve together. Have a wake for Madison and come back friends." Jonathan had second thoughts as to what he was about to say. "She didn't use you Malcolm. However she regretted how she treated you, she felt it would have seemed like a perfect revenge to Trip. She didn't regret what she did, just how she did it."
"Thank you Captain." Malcolm closed his eyes as Phlox returned to run a few more test.
"You loved her didn't you?" Trip asked moving to the seat beside Malcolm. "Did she feel the same?" Trip questioned.
"I don't know." Malcolm answered honestly holding her urn. "I'll never know." He sighed. "She did love you though. Once, at least."
"Oh I know that! And I screwed up, I mustn't have loved her... I wouldn't have given up so easily. Her father told me not to keep in touch, that she didn't want to know me and that once he'd found out what I'd done to hurt her-"
"-You didn't resign for her?" Malcolm looked at Trip for the first time. Trip's face was also awash with tears he shook his head.
"She did it herself." Trip hugged his leg. "Because of something she thought I'd done. If only I'd gotten in touch."
"Neither of you resigned for her. Her father played you against each other, lucky that Klingon came when it though." Malcolm was deep in thought. "She became a slave the week we left Earth Trip."
"I sent her to her death." Trip wept. "All because I didn't love her enough."
"Hang on Trip... If her father played you against each other then. What's to say he's not doing now?" Malcolm looked at the urn. "You still might have the chance to win her back."
"She's dead Malcolm." Trip took the urn from him and placed it in a cargo box. "You only knew her for a few hours, I've known her for most of my life. I know it's time to let go-"
"Only because you already had!" Malcolm spat. "That's your problem, you didn't have faith in her. I may have only known her a few hours but in that time I found out she was devoted to you, you had no reason to doubt her." Malcolm lunged at him. Trip's head hit the wall of the shuttle. "If I was you, I would've told her father to screw himself and took the next transport to find her."
"You haven't a clue do you-"
"No, I do Trip. I know what stopped you from going. You knew it wasn't her who's resigned. It was the opportunity of Chief. If you'd gone to get her, Enterprise would have left without both of you-" The truth hurt so much that Trip grabbed the box in which Madison's urn was placed and smashed it against Malcolm's skull, the impact of the box against the shuttle's floor as Trip's hands reached for Malcolm's throat allowed a coolant canister to leak and explode. Both Trip and Malcolm where knocked out instantly.
**********************************************************
Malcolm began to stir, his head throbbing from the impact of his skull against the side of the shuttle. Where he was he was uncertain, but wherever it was. He never wanted to leave. A warm hand mopped his forehead lovingly. A sweet smell of roses and honey smothered him softly while a familiar voice sang to him. It was a dream, but Malcolm Reed didn't have dreams. He opened his eyes to find Madison smiling at him.
"I thought you were dead." Malcolm looked around the room. An apartment on Earth, years from now.
"Shhh. It was a dream." Madison whispered, reaching over him to his side table. A bump brushed his cheek, she was pregnant with his child. "You really have to stop having these nightmares." she mopped the sweat that beaded from his forehead.
"We're home now. We got through it and you found me." Madison kissed him. To Malcolm it felt so real. "When no one believed I was alive you did."
"Madison-" Malcolm stopped her. His lips couldn't resist hers a moment longer. If this was a dream he never wanted to end. This is what he wanted cupping her hands in his tracing his finger around her wedding ring. But why were they back on Earth? He'd want to live his life on Enterprise with his wife and child. He felt as if he was reading a book from half way through. It's only a dream, Malcolm reassured himself, dreams don't make sense. He held her swollen stomach, the life inside felt so real he wanted to cry. "Have you thought of a name?" Malcolm asked as she settled herself beside him.
"Have you banged your head." Madison laughed softly. "We thought about Jonathan, but then you realised you didn't want the reminder so we decided on Cole-"
"Reminder of what?" Malcolm had a sudden sense of prophecy. He didn't want to know the answer to the question.
"You killed him Malcolm. He wouldn't let you leave and find me so you killed him." Madison's eyes filled with tears. "The dream must have been bad. Try and get some sleep."
"I wouldn't kill the Captain." Malcolm got up. "Are you lying to me?" He wanted nothing more than to wake up.
"You tell me. I'm only repeating what you told me Malcolm." Malcolm couldn't take it anymore, he got off the bed and ran through the bedroom door.
**********************************************************
"Malcolm." The Captain's voice penetrated the nightmare. Malcolm shot up violently, caught by Jonathan's tight grip. "It's ok Malcolm, you were caught in a small blast. You're ok."
"Madison..." Malcolm mumbled dully, meaning to finish his sentence. Trying to take note of the dream that was rapidly fading from memory.
"She's dead Malcolm." Jonathan watched Malcolm's second reaction to the news of Madison's death. His heart broke as he watched his grown armoury officer weep like a child. "If only I knew what affect she'd have had on you-"
"You would have stopped us from meeting?" Malcolm angrily questioned, forgetting who he was talking to.
"I wouldn't have left you alone." Jonathan answered honestly. His main priority was to protect all involved. Jonathan was preoccupied with the matter of Madison and Trip he'd forgotten that Madison was venerable to
seduction. Not that he believed for a moment it was entirely Malcolm's fault.
"If we were meant to be together. It wouldn't have mattered." Malcolm answered. "Would it have been protection for her or for me?" He added as a second thought.
"Both. I've lost a good engineer, the relationship between you and Trip has suffered and I can't send either of you back to work because you are grieving."
"I'm prepared to work-"
"I'm not letting you. I'm two weeks we'll pass Riser. I want you and Trip to grieve together. Have a wake for Madison and come back friends." Jonathan had second thoughts as to what he was about to say. "She didn't use you Malcolm. However she regretted how she treated you, she felt it would have seemed like a perfect revenge to Trip. She didn't regret what she did, just how she did it."
"Thank you Captain." Malcolm closed his eyes as Phlox returned to run a few more test.