A/N: I was not going to leave you waiting this long. This is a text that interests me the most at the moment. Probably because I'm nuts and humour is my game. Life is full of it, we just don't see it. Hope you still enjoy reading it! If you have ideas or wishes or whatever to say press the review button and speak out! Ok, here we go…you can blame me for my dirty imagination! And for short chapters…
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It was a time consuming task to make his folks assured it was best for all of them if they would keep their mouth shut about his pregnancy but after ten minutes Aragorn was successful. After all nobody wanted Gondor to have a king who sounded like a girl after losing his manly equipment.
The king congratulated himself of the job well done and headed back to his chambers to prepare for dinner. But as he was back in the courtyard he noticed a blonde figure just disappearing hastily round the corner and his ranger instincts came suddenly alive. He felt the urge to follow the elf lord who had once been slain by a Balrog but who had been sent back to Middle-Earth after whining so loudly about the unfairness of the battle that Mandos* took pity on all other dead elves who had to share the Halls with him.
"That Goldie locks has always meant trouble to me." Aragorn thought running as lightly as he could not to alarm the suspect he was spying on. At the same time memories of the past conquered him and he was once again a child trying to steal cookies from the kitchen when no one was watching but of course he failed. A strong hand caught him and a strict voice said…
"Are you by any chance following me, Estel?" Blinking his eyes he saw the mentioned Goldie locks who also was known as Lord Glorfindel standing right in front of him.
"Nay, I am not." Aragorn said but he was so disappointed and embarrassed about getting caught this quickly that he couldn't help but shed some tears. He believed now that his unstable state of mind was somehow connected to his growing state of body but he was unable to control neither of them. "And I don't even carry a handkerchief with me." He remembered and became more distressed and sobbed even more loudly.
Glorfindel had years of experience of soothing babies. First he had taken care of Elrond's twin demons, then Arwen and last Estel. To him anyone under 500 years old was still a child and he was fast to move. He tried to wrap an arm around Aragorn's shoulders and hug him but to his surprise the child flinched and took few steps back before he could actually touch him.
"I'm fine!" Aragorn reassured his former nanny but all colour seemed to flee of his face when he thought how close it had really been. For though he still didn't know all the activities between Glorfindel and Elrond he had no delusions that Glorfindel would tell Elrond if he knew that Elrond's adopted son was with a child. Without ever noticing it himself Aragorn's fearful, trembling fingers travelled again to check the tools he wanted to own also in the future. He sighed subconsciously finding they were still there.
This movement of Aragorn's hands and the change of expression on the man's face didn't go unnoticed by Glorfindel although the elf himself hoped that it had. "He doesn't want me to touch him because he finds my presence arousing." Glorfindel concluded very shocked and realized suddenly why Aragorn had been stalking at him in the past. He had thought it had been pure curiosity but now he knew better. He felt uncomfortable cold sweat crawling all over his skin
"I can't tell this to Elrond. He will think I did something to make Estel feel that way and then he will amputate my..." He didn't allow himself to finish that thought but his hands accurately repeated the maneuvers Aragorn's hands had performed only a few seconds ago. He mumbled something about 'a must to report to my Master' and hurried away wishing that this time Aragorn wouldn't follow.
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A/N: 1.*In case you haven't read Silmarillion or other Tolkien's books apart from LOTR Mandos is one of the Valar and his Halls of Waiting is the place elves go when they die. I assume here that Glorfindel of Gondolin is Glorfindel of Rivendell – just for fun. I find it funny people call him a Balrog slayer so I reversed it because that also is true.
A/N: 2. I see some explanations are in order so I say this much: One commonly used thing in fan fiction seems to be that a person flinches upon a touch when he finds the other sexually interesting. I have read this several times and it's logical but what also commonly happens is that the guy/girl touching has no clue of what is going on. I just twisted that common scene a little so that the person touching has too much clue.;)
That's it. More to come in the next chapter where I bring back Elrond and his sons
Thanks to wonderful reviewers:
Isilwen: Spiders??? I don't hate spiders but they do give me creeps and I would see nightmares about them if I saw too many pictures about them!
Alynna Lis Eachann: Yep, he should have thought twice but since he didn't he deserves some hard time.;)
Vuaryn: Twins in the sense that both of babies will born at the same time.:)
trustingfriendship: Yep, I'm with Arwen too. She is my own Mary Sue!
Sami: I haven't thought about details yet but you made me think I may have to make Elrond to stick around…he is a healer after all.;)
~C~: Legolas getting dirty is a must to any humour fic.;) Gotta deal with that when it's suitable…
jacobs_angel86: I love cunning Arwen too. It's the feminist side of me that says she has to be at least cunning and now she has a good chance to get two perfect guys! Can't write the girl to blow that chance.:)
mejJa: Definitely Legolas is just SLEEPING in the same bed with them! After all Arwen hasn't got a dirty mind as she inherited it from me…that tells a lot about what is coming up, eh?
Fuzzy Hobbit, Saera, cold crystal tears and jaden: Thanks for reading and leaving your encouraging messages to review box.