A/N: I've been gone way too long and my writing is what it is at the moment but I think that'll improve if you give me a chance, could take a few chapters to get back to normal…

Warning: Rating goes in this chapter to R, I think

"Why did you tell Estel we take care of father?" Elladan asked his brother as soon as they were out of the king's royally baby blue rooms.

"That was the easiest way to reassure him! You saw how horrified he looked. He might have got a miscarriage or something and we sure don't want that!" Elrohir replied still smirking. The thought of Arwen and Aragorn with greatly big tummies in near future was ever so hilarious to him. He wouldn't do anything to risk the chance to see it with his own eyes.

"But how can we take care of father and keep him away from Estel? It's impossible! You know how father is" Elladan wondered a bit worried but his twin just kept madly grinning.

"I have an excellent idea" Elrohir whispered and leaned closer to his brother. The corridor around them was empty but as he believed that the song "The Walls Have Ears" was made according to a true story he took no chances. "Blackmail", he said simply.

"Of course!" Elladan almost started dancing. Why hadn't he thought of that right away? It was indeed a real wonder it hadn't crossed his mind since normally blackmailing was the thing he and his brother did, 24 hours a day 7 days a week! In Elladan's mind there was only this tiny really big problem…"But how?" he asked puzzled.

"We know why he hasn't sailed West beyond the Sea…" Elrohir whispered and Elladan felt the surge of newly found malice in his veins. Yes, precious, that would be it! Their father's little secret they had come across by accidentally pushing their father in to the swimming pool back at home in Rivendell!

"And he doesn't want others to find that out! You're genius, brother! That'll do it!" he let out a happy yelp and both of the twins rushed towards their father's room to have a nice little father and evil sons talk.

******

Meanwhile in the king's bedroom the love feast was ready to begin. All parties were already naked which made things a bit easier. The poor confused mighty ruler of Gondor couldn't stop two pairs of magical hands and lips to make his…willy…member…whatever you like to call it to start rising in shockingly great speed. Higher and higher. And soon enough Aragorn's Real Brains were ready for a real start! Aragorn had never thought it could feel so good and right to have his lover and wife with him at the same time but as sexually excited as he was he was also getting a little worried. How could the real act been done? But of course the answer was obvious and anyone with any intelligence could have told him that. Put first Arwen/Aragorn/Legolas in the bed, then put Aragorn/Arwen/Legolas on top of her/him and lastly put Arwen/Aragorn/Legolas on top of them all. Right?   Actually, the trick is to just get them all to bed in whatever random order!

Somehow they ended up to bed so that Arwen was on the bottom and Legolas on the top of the three. It was only natural that way as Aragorn was the true link between the Mirkwood Prince and the Princess of Rivendell.

It surely is simple in theory to have threesome sex but in practice their lovemaking rhythm was not yet as synchronized as their brand new and modern wristwatches and therefore their first time ended up to a big failure. The valuable seeds of the High King were already spilled inside Arwen before Legolas had even had time to get his…you know what…inside him!

"We need more practice in timing" Legolas muttered under his breath as he stroked his aching bow to complete his part of the show I'm writing for all the slash-readers in the world.

"We definitely have to try it again!" Aragorn, now called as the Horny King of Gondor sighed contended. He held his wife in his arms and ate Legolas and his piece of fresh Mirkwood flesh with eyes. Arwen followed his gaze and then finally freed herself of her husband.

"I can help you with that, Legolas" she stated firmly but at the same time gently. Aragorn didn't at first understand what she was planning to do but when he finally realized it, it was already way too late. Arwen had already started sucking Our Dear Prince's king size (though he wasn't yet a king) tasty lollipop. At first this sight made Aragorn horrified. His dear wife with his dear boyfriend and he himself the needless third party! Unheard of! His unbalanced pregnant male hormones were again close to make him weep but in a second they were overridden by his plain royal horniness. He was surprised to find himself enjoying this new show like he was enjoying a horse ride. After all, both events made him panting hard in excitement.

***********
A bit later elsewhere…

Lord Elrond was feeling angrier than he had been in a long time. His twins had deviously blackmailed him with his worst and only secret. Why hadn't he sailed across the see yet? Because he was afraid of water, that's why! Even the rivers of Middle Earth gave him bad shivers. The water was always freezing cold and even a thought of accidentally falling over and into it was terrifying! Let alone sailing over the seas…Valar save, he couldn't even swim!   

So to keep his ridiculous secret and not to lose his face in front of all the free people's of Middle Earth, including his daughter and his dear human son Elrond had agreed with his twin sons to leave Estel alone. Why Estel was hoping that? What was he hiding? Elrond didn't know but he would find it out as sure as his name was Lord Elrond. And we all know his name truly was.

He called his friend/assistant/therapist/occasional lover Glorfindel to his room.

"I have a mission for you, Glorfindel", he started noticing at once that his friend was not looking at him straight in the eyes.

"Yes, my Lord?" Glorfindel answered steadily but still kept looking at his feet.

"I want you to follow Estel and to keep a close eye on him"

"Why is that, my Lord?" Glorfindel really didn't like the sound of that idea. If his hunch was right Estel would do the following only too easy for him. What would Elrond say if he found out Estel was finding his seneschal attractive, maybe even hot and sexy? Would he even say anything before cracking Glorfindel's nuts? Glorfindel the Balrog Slayer felt so brave he was ready to go hiding under the bed. Only thing that prevented him from going for that plan was that Lord Elrond would have found him there in no time.

"He is hiding something from me. I want to know what it is." Elrond stated firmly.

"Yes, my Lord" Elrond blinked his eyes about hundred times in second in bewilderment. Did he just see Glorfindel blushing? Yes, he most definitely did!

"Good, see you at dinner soon" Elrond replied and slowly slowly ever so slowly a very obvious thought appeared in his very small brains. "Glorfindel has some secret he is not telling me"