bHey everyone! Yes, I'm back. It's been a while. Now, for this story, a
few things are a little different. One is that the only person who really,
really knows Gordo is Miranda. Otherwise, all of them really don't know
what he's like. Um, Pudge is a new character. She became best friends with
the gang a little after Rome. Lizzie's dad won a huge lottery jackpot so he
is now rich. Um, Gordo's dad owns a big field on which he grows tobacco.
Matt and Lizzie are NOT related. I repeat, they are NOT related. Also, this
takes place when all of them are just out of high school. This is their
last summer together. I got the idea for this story from IShag The
MovieI. Shag is a type of dance. The movie is kinda old, but I though the
characters would fit just perfectly.b
I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any of the characters from the show. Nor do I own Shag the Movie or any thing from there. So, in other words, this story isn't even mine. It's just me typing it...anyways..on with the story.
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The next morning, Lizzie awoke to a car horn. She opened her eyes to see the toilet paper hanging from the tree.
"Oh my God, Gordo!" she yelled.
At this Gordo got up but Lizzie was already in the house. The housemaid was also there.
"Elvira! Wh-what are you doing here?" asked Lizzie.
"I come here, to open up the house. You're mom and dad are arriving on a noon plane!" she said.
With this news, Lizzie ran around the house getting rid of whoever was still sleeping there. She was also looking for her friends. Melina had woke up from Lizzie's yelling. She was lying on top of Ethan still fully clothed. She got up and went to look in the mirror. Sure enough, there was a hickey. She smiled.
Lizzie ran upstairs and opened the door to the bathroom. Pudge and Chip were still in the bathtub, fully clothed, sleeping.
"Wake up!" yelled Lizzie. "I thought it would just please you to know that my parents will be arriving in an hour!" she yelled. "Here, you wear these," she said to Chip as she set down a dress suit.
Downstairs, Gordo was helping the clean up process when suddenly, Ethan's manager walked in the front door.
"All right, where is he?" he asked.
Ethan stumbled down the stairs. "I think I'm blind," he said.
Melina saw him. "Ethan, write down my phone number," she said as Ethan went in for another kiss but his manager pulled him back.
"You see that? You see this?" said the manager to Melina. "I got ten grand in that mouth. Have you ever seen teeth like that? You should have teeth like that. You see the chin? It's like art, three grand. Singing lessons. The kid has got a wardrobe that makes Liz Taylor look like a cleaning lady." He said as he put his coat over Ethan's head. "I'm talking about investment, alright. So don't think I'm going to let some piece of white trash parade in here and crap all over my dream." He then walked over to Ethan who still had the coat over his head. He opened the door, made sure there was no paparazzi, and then left. Melina, who was smiling, ran up the stairs.
Upstairs, Pudge and Lizzie are packing while Chip hangs around with them.
"I know," said Pudge. "Why don't you and I pick them up at the airport?"
"You and me are in Fort Sumter," said Lizzie
"Whose is this?" asked Chip laughing as he picked up Binky, Miranda's little white stuffed animal rabbit.
"Miranda," said Lizzie. "Oh my God, Miranda."
*~~* Miranda and Matt *~~*
Matt was lying on his side facing the wall of the ship. Miranda was lying next to him and got up.
She sighed. "What am I going to tell Gordo?" she asked.
Buzz too got up and sighed. "Tell him you're in love with me," he said as he rubbed her cheek.
"Oh, he'd never believe that." She sighed again. "I wish Gordo would die. It would be so much easier," she said. There was a silence and she looked at Matt. "I didn't mean that," she said. "That's terrible."
"Tell him you're going to college," said Matt.
She smiled. "With you."
"Crazy...Girls don't go to the college I'm going to. But there's loads of women's colleges around there. I mean that's how they get away with not letting any women into that college. They don't expect men to go four years without sex." He said.
Miranda, who suddenly looked disappointed, got up. "You want me, to go all the way up north, just so I can come over every weekend, and have sex with you?!" she said outraged.
He looked at her. "Well, not every weekend."
She got upset and let out a scream as she pushed him off the bed and onto the floor.
*~~* At the house *~~*
Gordo had just walked outside. He looked through the telescope at the boat. He saw two people moving around on it, but couldn't make out whom they were. He went back inside.
"I can't find them anywhere!" said Pudge to Lizzie as Lizzie was removing a bra from the chandelier.
"Chip, where do you think they would be?" asked Lizzie.
"You better start calling motels." He said.
"Motels!? Oh my God," said Lizzie.
Gordo walked in. "Lizzie, if you dad's yacht is Daddy's Little Girl there's somebody on it."
Just then, Melina walked in. "They're not in the attic," she said.
"Thank you for informing us that there is someone on the yacht, Gordo," said Lizzie as she gave Melina a look.
"Chip! Come take Gordo up to my dad's study to show him some of his prized lawn gnomes! There's one up there worth a million dollars," said Lizzie.
"What buttons?" whispered Chip as he went up the stairs. He then pointed to the door.
Lizzie turned around to see Miranda in the doorway. All three of the girls stood there hiding Miranda from Gordo. She opened the door very quietly and was inside.
"What happened?" asked Miranda.
"Nothing, we had a party. What happened to you?" asked Lizzie as they all sat on the couch.
Miranda was silent.
"Did you go all the way?" asked Pudge.
She was still silent as she looked at each one of her friends and smiled.
"Oh! Are you sure!?" asked Lizzie. Miranda nodded. "Here, put your feet up," said Lizzie as she motioned to the table.
"What was it like?" asked Pudge.
"Give her time to breathe!" yelled Lizzie.
"Wait, wait. Did it hurt?" asked Melina.
"Don't ask her that!" yelled Lizzie. She then regained her cool. "You must really love him."
"I hate him to death," said Miranda.
"He attacked her, I knew it!" yelled Lizzie.
"No, he didn't attack me, I let him," said Miranda. "You guys...I'm wild. I guess I've been wild all along I just never realized it until now."
"Way out!" said Pudge.
"Now, do you all think I should throw Gordo over?" asked Miranda.
"Yes!" said all three of them at once. "It's only fair," said Lizzie.
"It's liable to kill him," said Miranda.
"Oh, he'll get over it. Look, we can get him right now. Gordo!" yelled Lizzie.
"No!" said Miranda hushing her with her hand. "Don't you guys think I should marry somebody? I mean I am *way* out of control."
"So marry Matt," said Melina.
"I wouldn't marry Matt McGuire if he was the last man on the planet!" said Miranda.
"Beer?" asked Matt as he walked into the living room.
"You rape artist!" yelled Lizzie.
"What? I only wanted to talk to her!" said Matt. "Jeez."
"Hi Gordo!" said Melina all of a sudden.
"Hi!" said Miranda.
"Hi Gordo," said Matt.
"Who are you?" asked Gordo.
"I'm Matt McGuire. Nice to meet you."
"Maid, huh?" said Gordo.
"He is-" said Lizzie.
"He's Lizzie's boyfriend," said Miranda.
"He is *not*," said Lizzie.
"Oh, Lizzie, don't deny our love," said Matt. He tried to give her a kiss that Lizzie tried to wiggle free from as the maid saw them.
*~~* Later on, in the upstairs part of the house *~~*
"If Lizzie asks where I went, tell her I'm on a manhunt," said Melina trying on clothes.
"Melina, why are you in Mrs. McGuire's closet?" asked Pudge.
"I'm looking for my ticket to Hollywood. Why the sad face?" she asked.
"Oh Melina, what am I going to do? I love him so much it makes me sick. And he acts like I'm his pen pal."
"Well, you spent the last twenty four hours with him. What more do you want?"
"I want him to take me in his arms and crush me with passion," said Pudge just as the maid walked in.
"Well, there's only one way to catch a boy like Chip. Make yourself look irresistible and act like you can't stand him," said Melina as she smiled.
*~~* Down stairs *~~*
"And be nice," said Lizzie to Chip. She was referring to her parents. He was already dressed in his suit, which was way too big for him. "And above all, do not bring them back to this house until we have left!"
"What about the dance contest?" he asked.
"There, perfect. That's a good idea. Take them to the dance contest."
"No! I'm not taking them to the dance contest! I'm supposed to be in it with Pudge!"
"Don't be stupid! I'm taking Pudge back with me!"
"Well, what if they don't want to go to the dance contest?" he asked.
"I don't care, just take them there anyways," said Lizzie as she pulled his tie up which caused him to choke a little bit.
*~~* In the kitchen *~~*
"Nobody *wants* to get married, Miranda," said Gordo. "I don't especially feel like getting married myself. But that's no reason to call of a wedding. My dad's already invited all of my family! You know how big my family is!" said Gordo as he looked at Miranda who was playing with a beer bottle opener.
She violently tore open the fridge and grabbed a beer. She opened it.
"Don't test me Miranda," said Gordo before she took a sip. She did take a sip however and then smiled at him.
*~~* Upstairs *~~*
Chip still has his suit on but is now knocking on the door to Pudge's room.
"Heidi?" he calls.
Inside, Pudge is dressed in a nice blue sundress. She starts off for the door but Melina stops her.
"Don't be a moron, he only knocked once!" she said.
Meanwhile, Chip looked through the keyhole. Melina sprayed some perfume on Pudge.
"The perfume should linger." She said.
Pudge smiled. Then she heard him call again. "Heidi? Pudge?"
She started to walk to the door. "Be cruel," said Melina.
She opened the door only to see Chip kneeling and eye level with the keyhole.
"What do you want?" she asked a bit bossy.
Chip got up and found himself at a loss for words. "Um gosh...blue." He took a deep breath. "Um. Well, I guess you're leaving and everything. I um, just wanted to say that I'm sorry we didn't get into the dance contest together and um, well, I was thinking maybe I could come down from Annapolis sometime and-"
"I wouldn't dance with you if you were the last guy on the planet!" said Pudge rather harshly as she slammed the door in his face.
She turned around to face Melina who was obviously in shock. She had to recover fast.
"Now give it about five minutes and then go offer him a chance to apologize," said Melina.
*~~* Later *~~*
Pudge is walking down the stairs with her bags.
"Chip? Oh Chip? Where is he?" she asked Lizzie. She was much, much calmer and she sounded more caring.
"I sent him to go get my mom and dad," said Lizzie.
"Is he coming back here?" asked Pudge.
"Of course not Pudge. He's gone. Now go get changed. We're leaving soon," said Lizzie as Pudge miserably sat on the steps.
*~~* In Chip and Matt's car *~~*
"Sam, what are we doing in this contraption?" asked Jo. The car was pretty old.
"Sir, let me ask you something," said Chip to Sam as he was driving. "I found, that in my experience with girls, that as soon as a girl knows you're in love with her, she starts treating you like a dirtball. Have you found that to be true sir?"
"Every time, son. Every time," said Sam.
"I tried to play it so cool this time. Just like Matt. I never let on I was crazy about her, like I definitely was not in love with her. But she knew. She looked right into my mind and she knew," said Chip.
"This boy is crazy," said Jo.
"Son, did your supervisor tell you were to take us. We're running real, real late."
"I'm supposed to take you to-"
"You're supposed to take us to-"
"The pavilion." They both said together.
"Um, But there's a dance contest there," said Chip.
"Yes, we are guests of the mayor," said Sam.
"We're the judges," said Jo.
"We'd have been in that contest if she didn't...if she hadn't...if she didn't," said Chip rather unsteadily.
Sam tried to put this the nicest way possible. "Did you, ah, attempt a familiarity with this girl?"
"No sir! I'm a gentleman sir. I was recently accepted at the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis, sir."
"Annapolis? Well, I'm an Annapolis man myself son," said Sam.
"Oh really?"
"Say, you know I have a tie exactly like that," said Sam.
Chip let go of the steering wheel to look at the tie but quickly put his hands back on at the sound of tires screeching.
*~~* Back at the house *~~*
Miranda had just finished vacuuming and was getting ready to put the vacuum back in the closet. She opened the door to find Matt waiting for her. He pulled her in but she stopped him from closing the door.
"This is intimate." He said. He tried to close the door again but Miranda stopped him.
"Let me out."
"What are you doing with that guy? I'm insulted. He's completely wrong for you."
She took a deep breath. "You don't know me. You don't love me. You sure as hell don't want to marry me so why don't you just leave me alone?"
There was a silence. "I don't think I can," said Matt.
She slowly let him close the door.
*~~* On the stairs *~~*
Melina is starting to walk down the stairs as Lizzie walks up. Lizzie sees that Melina is dressed in her mom's dress.
"That's my mom's dress. Take it off right now. Melina, you take every stitch of this dress off your body right now!" yelled Lizzie.
"You see if I ever invite you to Hollywood," said Melina as she walked to her room.
Just as this was happening, the maid walked to the closet that Matt and Miranda were in to get a broom. She saw both of them in a make out session.
*~~* In the kitchen *~~*
"Everything's in the car Lizzie," said Gordo. "I left your keys in the ignition."
"Thank you Gordo. I wish everyone was as considerate as you," said Lizzie as Gordo smiled like a little kid who knew he had just helped his mommy a lot. Lizzie continued on. "I thought it would be so sweet- one last fling together...best friends...those selfish little twerps." She said as she started to cry just a little.
"I wish Miranda was half as mature as you Lizzie," said Gordo as he got a tissue and wiped her eyes. "You're a good person. I keep telling myself it'll be different after we get married, but what if it isn't?"
"Follow your heart," said Lizzie as she smiled and so did Gordo. They both leaned in for a kiss.
When the maid walked in to the kitchen, she had only one thing to say about what she had seen so far.
"Y'all is the horniest bunch of people I've ever seen!"
Just then, the horn honked outside. In the other room, Pudge and Melina were shouting to Lizzie.
"I'll be right back!" yelled Pudge.
"I'll be back!" yelled Melina.
Lizzie broke the kiss with Gordo. "NO! Oh, NO!" she screamed as she ran onto the front porch. Pudge and Melina had already taken Lizzie's mom's car and were driving off.
"Don't worry Lizzie," said Gordo. "My T-bird can catch a Cadillac any day."
He ran to where it was parked only to find that it was still covered with toilet paper.
"Son of a bitch!" he yelled.
I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any of the characters from the show. Nor do I own Shag the Movie or any thing from there. So, in other words, this story isn't even mine. It's just me typing it...anyways..on with the story.
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The next morning, Lizzie awoke to a car horn. She opened her eyes to see the toilet paper hanging from the tree.
"Oh my God, Gordo!" she yelled.
At this Gordo got up but Lizzie was already in the house. The housemaid was also there.
"Elvira! Wh-what are you doing here?" asked Lizzie.
"I come here, to open up the house. You're mom and dad are arriving on a noon plane!" she said.
With this news, Lizzie ran around the house getting rid of whoever was still sleeping there. She was also looking for her friends. Melina had woke up from Lizzie's yelling. She was lying on top of Ethan still fully clothed. She got up and went to look in the mirror. Sure enough, there was a hickey. She smiled.
Lizzie ran upstairs and opened the door to the bathroom. Pudge and Chip were still in the bathtub, fully clothed, sleeping.
"Wake up!" yelled Lizzie. "I thought it would just please you to know that my parents will be arriving in an hour!" she yelled. "Here, you wear these," she said to Chip as she set down a dress suit.
Downstairs, Gordo was helping the clean up process when suddenly, Ethan's manager walked in the front door.
"All right, where is he?" he asked.
Ethan stumbled down the stairs. "I think I'm blind," he said.
Melina saw him. "Ethan, write down my phone number," she said as Ethan went in for another kiss but his manager pulled him back.
"You see that? You see this?" said the manager to Melina. "I got ten grand in that mouth. Have you ever seen teeth like that? You should have teeth like that. You see the chin? It's like art, three grand. Singing lessons. The kid has got a wardrobe that makes Liz Taylor look like a cleaning lady." He said as he put his coat over Ethan's head. "I'm talking about investment, alright. So don't think I'm going to let some piece of white trash parade in here and crap all over my dream." He then walked over to Ethan who still had the coat over his head. He opened the door, made sure there was no paparazzi, and then left. Melina, who was smiling, ran up the stairs.
Upstairs, Pudge and Lizzie are packing while Chip hangs around with them.
"I know," said Pudge. "Why don't you and I pick them up at the airport?"
"You and me are in Fort Sumter," said Lizzie
"Whose is this?" asked Chip laughing as he picked up Binky, Miranda's little white stuffed animal rabbit.
"Miranda," said Lizzie. "Oh my God, Miranda."
*~~* Miranda and Matt *~~*
Matt was lying on his side facing the wall of the ship. Miranda was lying next to him and got up.
She sighed. "What am I going to tell Gordo?" she asked.
Buzz too got up and sighed. "Tell him you're in love with me," he said as he rubbed her cheek.
"Oh, he'd never believe that." She sighed again. "I wish Gordo would die. It would be so much easier," she said. There was a silence and she looked at Matt. "I didn't mean that," she said. "That's terrible."
"Tell him you're going to college," said Matt.
She smiled. "With you."
"Crazy...Girls don't go to the college I'm going to. But there's loads of women's colleges around there. I mean that's how they get away with not letting any women into that college. They don't expect men to go four years without sex." He said.
Miranda, who suddenly looked disappointed, got up. "You want me, to go all the way up north, just so I can come over every weekend, and have sex with you?!" she said outraged.
He looked at her. "Well, not every weekend."
She got upset and let out a scream as she pushed him off the bed and onto the floor.
*~~* At the house *~~*
Gordo had just walked outside. He looked through the telescope at the boat. He saw two people moving around on it, but couldn't make out whom they were. He went back inside.
"I can't find them anywhere!" said Pudge to Lizzie as Lizzie was removing a bra from the chandelier.
"Chip, where do you think they would be?" asked Lizzie.
"You better start calling motels." He said.
"Motels!? Oh my God," said Lizzie.
Gordo walked in. "Lizzie, if you dad's yacht is Daddy's Little Girl there's somebody on it."
Just then, Melina walked in. "They're not in the attic," she said.
"Thank you for informing us that there is someone on the yacht, Gordo," said Lizzie as she gave Melina a look.
"Chip! Come take Gordo up to my dad's study to show him some of his prized lawn gnomes! There's one up there worth a million dollars," said Lizzie.
"What buttons?" whispered Chip as he went up the stairs. He then pointed to the door.
Lizzie turned around to see Miranda in the doorway. All three of the girls stood there hiding Miranda from Gordo. She opened the door very quietly and was inside.
"What happened?" asked Miranda.
"Nothing, we had a party. What happened to you?" asked Lizzie as they all sat on the couch.
Miranda was silent.
"Did you go all the way?" asked Pudge.
She was still silent as she looked at each one of her friends and smiled.
"Oh! Are you sure!?" asked Lizzie. Miranda nodded. "Here, put your feet up," said Lizzie as she motioned to the table.
"What was it like?" asked Pudge.
"Give her time to breathe!" yelled Lizzie.
"Wait, wait. Did it hurt?" asked Melina.
"Don't ask her that!" yelled Lizzie. She then regained her cool. "You must really love him."
"I hate him to death," said Miranda.
"He attacked her, I knew it!" yelled Lizzie.
"No, he didn't attack me, I let him," said Miranda. "You guys...I'm wild. I guess I've been wild all along I just never realized it until now."
"Way out!" said Pudge.
"Now, do you all think I should throw Gordo over?" asked Miranda.
"Yes!" said all three of them at once. "It's only fair," said Lizzie.
"It's liable to kill him," said Miranda.
"Oh, he'll get over it. Look, we can get him right now. Gordo!" yelled Lizzie.
"No!" said Miranda hushing her with her hand. "Don't you guys think I should marry somebody? I mean I am *way* out of control."
"So marry Matt," said Melina.
"I wouldn't marry Matt McGuire if he was the last man on the planet!" said Miranda.
"Beer?" asked Matt as he walked into the living room.
"You rape artist!" yelled Lizzie.
"What? I only wanted to talk to her!" said Matt. "Jeez."
"Hi Gordo!" said Melina all of a sudden.
"Hi!" said Miranda.
"Hi Gordo," said Matt.
"Who are you?" asked Gordo.
"I'm Matt McGuire. Nice to meet you."
"Maid, huh?" said Gordo.
"He is-" said Lizzie.
"He's Lizzie's boyfriend," said Miranda.
"He is *not*," said Lizzie.
"Oh, Lizzie, don't deny our love," said Matt. He tried to give her a kiss that Lizzie tried to wiggle free from as the maid saw them.
*~~* Later on, in the upstairs part of the house *~~*
"If Lizzie asks where I went, tell her I'm on a manhunt," said Melina trying on clothes.
"Melina, why are you in Mrs. McGuire's closet?" asked Pudge.
"I'm looking for my ticket to Hollywood. Why the sad face?" she asked.
"Oh Melina, what am I going to do? I love him so much it makes me sick. And he acts like I'm his pen pal."
"Well, you spent the last twenty four hours with him. What more do you want?"
"I want him to take me in his arms and crush me with passion," said Pudge just as the maid walked in.
"Well, there's only one way to catch a boy like Chip. Make yourself look irresistible and act like you can't stand him," said Melina as she smiled.
*~~* Down stairs *~~*
"And be nice," said Lizzie to Chip. She was referring to her parents. He was already dressed in his suit, which was way too big for him. "And above all, do not bring them back to this house until we have left!"
"What about the dance contest?" he asked.
"There, perfect. That's a good idea. Take them to the dance contest."
"No! I'm not taking them to the dance contest! I'm supposed to be in it with Pudge!"
"Don't be stupid! I'm taking Pudge back with me!"
"Well, what if they don't want to go to the dance contest?" he asked.
"I don't care, just take them there anyways," said Lizzie as she pulled his tie up which caused him to choke a little bit.
*~~* In the kitchen *~~*
"Nobody *wants* to get married, Miranda," said Gordo. "I don't especially feel like getting married myself. But that's no reason to call of a wedding. My dad's already invited all of my family! You know how big my family is!" said Gordo as he looked at Miranda who was playing with a beer bottle opener.
She violently tore open the fridge and grabbed a beer. She opened it.
"Don't test me Miranda," said Gordo before she took a sip. She did take a sip however and then smiled at him.
*~~* Upstairs *~~*
Chip still has his suit on but is now knocking on the door to Pudge's room.
"Heidi?" he calls.
Inside, Pudge is dressed in a nice blue sundress. She starts off for the door but Melina stops her.
"Don't be a moron, he only knocked once!" she said.
Meanwhile, Chip looked through the keyhole. Melina sprayed some perfume on Pudge.
"The perfume should linger." She said.
Pudge smiled. Then she heard him call again. "Heidi? Pudge?"
She started to walk to the door. "Be cruel," said Melina.
She opened the door only to see Chip kneeling and eye level with the keyhole.
"What do you want?" she asked a bit bossy.
Chip got up and found himself at a loss for words. "Um gosh...blue." He took a deep breath. "Um. Well, I guess you're leaving and everything. I um, just wanted to say that I'm sorry we didn't get into the dance contest together and um, well, I was thinking maybe I could come down from Annapolis sometime and-"
"I wouldn't dance with you if you were the last guy on the planet!" said Pudge rather harshly as she slammed the door in his face.
She turned around to face Melina who was obviously in shock. She had to recover fast.
"Now give it about five minutes and then go offer him a chance to apologize," said Melina.
*~~* Later *~~*
Pudge is walking down the stairs with her bags.
"Chip? Oh Chip? Where is he?" she asked Lizzie. She was much, much calmer and she sounded more caring.
"I sent him to go get my mom and dad," said Lizzie.
"Is he coming back here?" asked Pudge.
"Of course not Pudge. He's gone. Now go get changed. We're leaving soon," said Lizzie as Pudge miserably sat on the steps.
*~~* In Chip and Matt's car *~~*
"Sam, what are we doing in this contraption?" asked Jo. The car was pretty old.
"Sir, let me ask you something," said Chip to Sam as he was driving. "I found, that in my experience with girls, that as soon as a girl knows you're in love with her, she starts treating you like a dirtball. Have you found that to be true sir?"
"Every time, son. Every time," said Sam.
"I tried to play it so cool this time. Just like Matt. I never let on I was crazy about her, like I definitely was not in love with her. But she knew. She looked right into my mind and she knew," said Chip.
"This boy is crazy," said Jo.
"Son, did your supervisor tell you were to take us. We're running real, real late."
"I'm supposed to take you to-"
"You're supposed to take us to-"
"The pavilion." They both said together.
"Um, But there's a dance contest there," said Chip.
"Yes, we are guests of the mayor," said Sam.
"We're the judges," said Jo.
"We'd have been in that contest if she didn't...if she hadn't...if she didn't," said Chip rather unsteadily.
Sam tried to put this the nicest way possible. "Did you, ah, attempt a familiarity with this girl?"
"No sir! I'm a gentleman sir. I was recently accepted at the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis, sir."
"Annapolis? Well, I'm an Annapolis man myself son," said Sam.
"Oh really?"
"Say, you know I have a tie exactly like that," said Sam.
Chip let go of the steering wheel to look at the tie but quickly put his hands back on at the sound of tires screeching.
*~~* Back at the house *~~*
Miranda had just finished vacuuming and was getting ready to put the vacuum back in the closet. She opened the door to find Matt waiting for her. He pulled her in but she stopped him from closing the door.
"This is intimate." He said. He tried to close the door again but Miranda stopped him.
"Let me out."
"What are you doing with that guy? I'm insulted. He's completely wrong for you."
She took a deep breath. "You don't know me. You don't love me. You sure as hell don't want to marry me so why don't you just leave me alone?"
There was a silence. "I don't think I can," said Matt.
She slowly let him close the door.
*~~* On the stairs *~~*
Melina is starting to walk down the stairs as Lizzie walks up. Lizzie sees that Melina is dressed in her mom's dress.
"That's my mom's dress. Take it off right now. Melina, you take every stitch of this dress off your body right now!" yelled Lizzie.
"You see if I ever invite you to Hollywood," said Melina as she walked to her room.
Just as this was happening, the maid walked to the closet that Matt and Miranda were in to get a broom. She saw both of them in a make out session.
*~~* In the kitchen *~~*
"Everything's in the car Lizzie," said Gordo. "I left your keys in the ignition."
"Thank you Gordo. I wish everyone was as considerate as you," said Lizzie as Gordo smiled like a little kid who knew he had just helped his mommy a lot. Lizzie continued on. "I thought it would be so sweet- one last fling together...best friends...those selfish little twerps." She said as she started to cry just a little.
"I wish Miranda was half as mature as you Lizzie," said Gordo as he got a tissue and wiped her eyes. "You're a good person. I keep telling myself it'll be different after we get married, but what if it isn't?"
"Follow your heart," said Lizzie as she smiled and so did Gordo. They both leaned in for a kiss.
When the maid walked in to the kitchen, she had only one thing to say about what she had seen so far.
"Y'all is the horniest bunch of people I've ever seen!"
Just then, the horn honked outside. In the other room, Pudge and Melina were shouting to Lizzie.
"I'll be right back!" yelled Pudge.
"I'll be back!" yelled Melina.
Lizzie broke the kiss with Gordo. "NO! Oh, NO!" she screamed as she ran onto the front porch. Pudge and Melina had already taken Lizzie's mom's car and were driving off.
"Don't worry Lizzie," said Gordo. "My T-bird can catch a Cadillac any day."
He ran to where it was parked only to find that it was still covered with toilet paper.
"Son of a bitch!" he yelled.