Behind Blue Eyes
Chapter 11: Trying but not succeeding
(Aragorn)
My arms feel heavy, my legs almost a dead weight as I lay on the banking, breathing in the air I was lacking when going over to falls. Beside me lays Legolas his eyes closed but breathing shallowly. Breathing deeply I push myself into a sitting position, wincing when the stiffness that has settled into my aching muscles protests. Glancing around I conclude that we have washed ashore at the very base of the falls, where the water begins its journey through the woods.
" Estel!" I hear my name called in the distance and roll my eyes, knowing my brothers will be scared to death. I quickly, if not stiffly, climb to my feet and walk a few paces into the surrounding woods and shout into the woods
" Elladan! Elrohir! We're right here!" A few seconds later the thudding of hooves can be heard coming up the trail and I wave my arms when I see them approaching. Elladan's face is the mask of pure horror while Elrohir's is one of concern. Hauling their horses to a halt they jump from their backs and are beside me in a flying stride. Elladan clasps his hands over my back and hugs me closely while Elrohir ruffles my hair.
" You are one crazy person!" He says with a laugh and I smile back. Elladan lets go of me and looks around,
" Where's Legolas?" My eyes widen.
" Hoolies! I forgot him on the bank!" I turn and stalk down the pathway back to where I left the prince on the sandy shore. Elladan crouches next to him, running a hand over his forehead before sighing.
" He had another attack, at least he didn't stop breathing." He says and I nod, knowing how bad it can get when Legolas's nerves take a beating.
" Let's get your to back to Ada, he'll want to know about this and look you over." Elrohir says and I stoop down the help my brothers gather our friend up. Slowly making our way back to the horses I hold onto Legolas while Elladan mounts then hand the limp prince over to him. He seats his friend on front and wraps his arms around Legolas's middle in order to gather the reins. I mount behind Elrohir and soon we are headed back to Rivendell.
" How was it going over the falls?" I cast a sideways glance at my smiling brother before giving him a stern glare.
" Wet and wild." Both elven twins burst out in laughter as we trot down the trail and into the courtyard. On the steps stands Gandalf and my father, their faces falling into a stern look when the notice my soaking appearance and Legolas's unconscious state.
" Hoolies….. we're in trouble now." Elladan mutters as I hold onto Legolas as he dismounts. Father comes right over, his sweeping eyes going from me and then to Legolas and back again.
" Go for a swim my son?" He asks with a cock of an eyebrow. I smile, about to retort when I look over at my friend and see that his eyes are open, struggling to get out of my brother's grasp.
" Put me down! I'm not a babe in need of carrying." He growls and Elladan puts him on his feet, holding onto him as he steadies himself. He looks at me and smiles slightly, but it soon turns into a eyes-widened look. I turn around in time to see both Thranduil and his guard coming up the path.
" Legolas.." I begin but am cut off by the prince's hardened eyes and now sturdy posture. He stares hard and stands tense as the Mirkwood king approaches while I take in this new demeanor that my friend shows open now. I've only seen this attitude once or twice from my friend, and I must admit it does scare me. In battle, or when threatened it's like Legolas closes himself off from every feeling and shows nothing but a warrior's nature, hard as stone. I asked father about this after returning from patrol in which we encountered Ocrs, father said that it is his training that takes over in time of battle, that when he was younger he was trained to be this way, emotionless and ready for anything.
" Legolas…my boy." Thranduil says, stopping before his son. Legolas eyes the guard, who holds his hands by his side and doesn't reach for his weapon, although the too takes in this hostile pose the prince has fallen into.
" King Thranduil." Legolas says tersely and is about to turn away when Thranduil grabs his shoulder, his eyes seeking some emotion from his son. Legolas jerks his shoulder away and steps back, his eyes ablaze with anger and hatred.
" Do. Not. Touch. Me." He grounds out and then turns on his heel and goes stiffly up the path and into the home, not turning to look at any of us as we stand there staring after him. He disappears into the hall and I give my father a look, which he just shakes his head too. I cast a look at the King and suddenly feel very sorry for him, as he stands there the intense look of sorrow evident on his features, etched into every contour.
" My lord, I'm sure if you give him time he will come around. It's all-new to him to see you again, he just needs some time to think. Please don't rush him, it will only drive him further from you." I tell the Mirkwood King, who turns to look at me his eyes shining with unshed tears.
" Since when did your boy's become so wise brother?" Thranduil asks, looking at me but speaking to my father.
" Since the day Legolas became their foster sibling. They know him better than even I, listen to my son's they understand him better, for they are always together." Father tells his brother and Thranduil nods, looking at his guard.
" Is there a room we may retire in?" he asks and father nods.
" Follow me, your rooms have been prepared and I'll show them to you." Adar says and leads the King and his guard off into another section of the home, away from Legolas's and our rooms. Looking at Elladan and Elrohir I smile sadly.
" Not a happy reunion huh?" Elladan says and leads his stallion to a water trough and begins unpacking him. Elrohir does the same and I lean against the wall of the stable, watching my brothers.
" Did you expect it to be?" Elrohir says and give his brother a questioning look. I shake my head and Elladan keeps his face grim and silent. We stand their, each with their own thoughts until I push myself away from the building.
" Where are you going you drowned rat?" I smirk at Elrohir's comment but turn to wave at them
" I'm going to talk to the other drowned rat. I'll see you at dinner." I take off, not waiting for the reply and head to Legolas's room, hopefully he will be there.
(Legolas)
Once changing out of my soaked clothes I gather up a few things and perch myself on the window sill, my drawing parchment in my lap laying on top of a large case of colored charcoal sticks Gandalf gave me when I first met him. My hands idly sketch the garden below me, my eyes barely leaving the garden as I move my hand in the way it is meant to go. Turning my gaze to watch a few people walking by I smile at the Twins as they joke, each holding their packs. Going back to my drawing I realize that the scene I have sketched, isn't the garden below me, but one from memory. Looking more closely I smile, realizing I just drew the garden my mother use to take me to before she was killed.
This garden was the largest in Mirkwood and had many rare flowers that bloomed almost all year long. My mother would take me there and read a book while I played with the water in the small fountain, she would hum and sing softly with the chirping of the birds. I loved being there, after her death I had often returned to that garden wishing to feel her presents, but felt nothing. I never went back to that garden and I have often wondered what happened to it, if it still flowers and is kept tidy, or has it too been over taken with the darkness of my father. Sighing I put my charcoal away and roll the parchment up, putting it away in a large leather folder I made. The folder holds so many other drawings, many sketches of the people who live within Rivendell, including the twins, Elrond and Estel. Gazing at the many drawings I fail to notice the presents of another until a hand touches me lightly on the shoulder. Stiffening and turning quickly and shaking the hand off I turn to see Estel looking down at me, concerned.
" Fine." I say, cutting off the question I know is coming from his mouth. I turn back to my drawings and am about to close the cover when his hand comes down and picks up one, examining it closely. It was the half finished drawing of my mother, her face not entirely finished. Estel seems to take this in and looks at me
" Why isn't she finished… who is she?" He asks and I turn my eyes away suddenly ashamed by my answer.
" She's my nana." I respond simply and then look up at my human friend before taking the drawing from his hands. I put it with the rest, putting other drawings over it, trying to seal the memory away.
" Why isn't she finished?" He asks and I close my eyes. Taking a deep breath I open them, closing the cover with a thud.
" I can't remember her face." I whisper and then get quickly to my feet, storing the drawings and Charcoal under my bed once more. Looking at Estel I look away quickly, not wanting to see the sadness or anything else in his eyes.
" There isn't anything wrong with that. I didn't even know mine." He shrugs and I look sharply at him, my anger blazing once more this day.
" But it's not right for me not to remember her face! I grew up with her, and now I have betrayed her memory by forgetting what he looks like!" I shout, Estel is taken aback by my sudden outburst. I turn away sharply and go to the window, staring out but seeing nothing.
" You have betrayed no one Legolas." He says and I shake my head, unwilling to allow myself this easy retreat.
" But I have. She died protecting me, and you know what she said?" I turn sharply to look at him. Estel stands there watching me intently.
" She said 'I will always love you my son, and never forget the love I hold for you. Never forget.' I have forgotten her!" I shout, my anger coming out in my voice as it turns tenser.
" You may have forgotten her face Legolas, but you have not forgotten her entirely." He says and I angrily turn back around, shielding myself from him. I watch as the sun falls gently behind the trees, the bright rays it shines making the sky go orange. My eyes feel raw and wet, reaching a hand up to my face I am alarmed to find tears making trails down my face. I fiercely wipe at them, forcing myself to stop but my body doesn't heed my orders. Estel seems to notice and comes to my shoulder, wrapping his arms around me and whispers
"It's all right to cry my friend. No one will ever penalize you for doing so." I take a shuddering breath and shake my head.
" I just want this all to stop. Please make it stop." I lower my face and allow the tears to fall out of my eyes. Estel says soothing words as I stand there, allowing everything that I have been holding back out, all the fear, uncertainty and self-hatred. Everything is released within the silvery droplets of tears.
Immortal Sadness: Wow… that chapter really did suck. I'm very sorry, I apologize, I won't blame you if you don't review… man that sucked! Anyway I hope you all have (a) good holiday(s) and enjoy the time with your families. Me I have to work on Christmas eve, and my computer is being a total dick I can't write responses to all the reviews. Every time I start my computer gives me the 'BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH' and thank god for saving every (save) three seconds.
Thank you to all the kind reviewers and I'm sorry about not responding but next time I will! Hopefully I'll get a virus slayer softwere I've been asking for and then I'll fix my computer.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
-Immortal Sadness