SIX
* * *
She's there, sitting, just like she always does.
I look at her. Her eyes meet mine.
And they see my betrayal.
Oh, God....
Annie speaks, a smile on her face. A forced smile.
"Hello, Lucy."
I watch.
Lucy stands, stepping back. Kevin steps forward.
"Hi, honey... Lucy...."
And she screams.
Again, again. Biting deep, like glass cutting your eardrums. Screaming and pulling away, even as Kevin's hand closes around her wrist; can he feel the scar?
"Lucy!"
"Get away get away get away!"
He pulls her close.
"Lucy! It's me!"
She's too small to be this strong, but her hand comes up and hard against him, the sound of her palm against him audible even through her screams. And then Annie is there, rushing forward, her own voice joining the cacophony.
"Lucy! Listen to me! Listen to me!"
But she will not. The screaming is louder, her words incoherent. Hysterical, kicking as she fights them, as they two, Annie and Kevin, wrestle with her.
"Calm down! It's me! I am your mother! I said calm down!"
"Lucy!"
No. Orderlies now, rushing in. I suppose they know the drill from last time. And Lucy fights them too, all of them, fighting as they restrain her, as they fasten down the young woman who is my second daughter, who I love more than life itself, binding her limbs to the bed as she cries out.
"Get away get away get away!"
At last they do. Lucy is watching them, her eyes wild in fear and fury, her hair unkempt, fighting against the restraints. There will be a sedative, soon, and she will sleep.
Soon.
But not just yet.
Annie and Kevin move to stand by the bed, looking down at her. I move forward now, opposite them where there is room. They are staring down, down at my daughter. But I do not look at her.
I look at them. Annie speaks.
"Don't you dare think I don't know what you're doing, Lucy. Don't think I can't see through it."
"Annie," I say.
"Shut up, Eric."
It grows silent then. Kevin's face is rigid, as though to stare at Lucy long enough will make her come back to him. And Annie watches her too.
Their eyes speak and Lucy is trying to look away.
You are nothing. You are weak, a child. I bore you. I raised you. And this is how you repay me? By denying me? When I speak you are to listen. When I command, you are to obey. But you are never to question me, child. Never. The hell that is my wrath you cannot bear.
Obey. You are my wife, my lesser. I am wisdom and you are the fool. I am the guide; you the supplicant. Your dignity is only what I permit.
Lucy whimpers now.
"No no no no...."
* * *
She's there, sitting, just like she always does.
I look at her. Her eyes meet mine.
And they see my betrayal.
Oh, God....
Annie speaks, a smile on her face. A forced smile.
"Hello, Lucy."
I watch.
Lucy stands, stepping back. Kevin steps forward.
"Hi, honey... Lucy...."
And she screams.
Again, again. Biting deep, like glass cutting your eardrums. Screaming and pulling away, even as Kevin's hand closes around her wrist; can he feel the scar?
"Lucy!"
"Get away get away get away!"
He pulls her close.
"Lucy! It's me!"
She's too small to be this strong, but her hand comes up and hard against him, the sound of her palm against him audible even through her screams. And then Annie is there, rushing forward, her own voice joining the cacophony.
"Lucy! Listen to me! Listen to me!"
But she will not. The screaming is louder, her words incoherent. Hysterical, kicking as she fights them, as they two, Annie and Kevin, wrestle with her.
"Calm down! It's me! I am your mother! I said calm down!"
"Lucy!"
No. Orderlies now, rushing in. I suppose they know the drill from last time. And Lucy fights them too, all of them, fighting as they restrain her, as they fasten down the young woman who is my second daughter, who I love more than life itself, binding her limbs to the bed as she cries out.
"Get away get away get away!"
At last they do. Lucy is watching them, her eyes wild in fear and fury, her hair unkempt, fighting against the restraints. There will be a sedative, soon, and she will sleep.
Soon.
But not just yet.
Annie and Kevin move to stand by the bed, looking down at her. I move forward now, opposite them where there is room. They are staring down, down at my daughter. But I do not look at her.
I look at them. Annie speaks.
"Don't you dare think I don't know what you're doing, Lucy. Don't think I can't see through it."
"Annie," I say.
"Shut up, Eric."
It grows silent then. Kevin's face is rigid, as though to stare at Lucy long enough will make her come back to him. And Annie watches her too.
Their eyes speak and Lucy is trying to look away.
You are nothing. You are weak, a child. I bore you. I raised you. And this is how you repay me? By denying me? When I speak you are to listen. When I command, you are to obey. But you are never to question me, child. Never. The hell that is my wrath you cannot bear.
Obey. You are my wife, my lesser. I am wisdom and you are the fool. I am the guide; you the supplicant. Your dignity is only what I permit.
Lucy whimpers now.
"No no no no...."