Behind Blue Eyes
Chapter 15: Messaging your worries
(Estel)
Going to Legolas's room I don't even bother to knock and just enter the Elf's room, slamming the door behind me. Legolas is seated on the seat next to his window, sketching parchment and colored charcoals out, his hands moving furiously about the paper. He doesn't even bother to look up from his paper and continues to draw.
" The weapons are over on the desk." He says evenly and I turn to the desk, sure enough there are twin knives, a hunting knife, snake blade and sacrificial dagger. Picking up the latter I give my drawing friend a questioning look to which he responds easily
" Last knife injury you had. I took that out of you thigh, thought it was unique so I kept it." I smile and drop the knife back on the desk before seating myself on the bed, spreading myself out atop the sheets.
" Why did you do it Legolas?" I ask my long time friend and cousin, watching his hand move swiftly over the paper before stopping and reaching down to replace the charcoal before choosing another.
" What? Enter Lucciola's room uninvited, or putting a knife to his back?" He asks in that 'I don't give a flying shit' attitude that annoys me so much. Sighing I prop myself up on my elbows, watching the elf, who's face is void of any emotion but the eyebrows knitted together.
" Both… either way Legolas I want to know what is going on." I tell him tersely and the shoulders shrug, I watch my friend intently looking for some reason, some hint to what he is feeling, but nothing is there.
" I… I don't know." He says in a whisper and I blink, waiting for more to come but when nothing is made I lay back on the bed.
" Are your injured?" I ask and stare at the ceiling above me, vaguely wondering what the answer is going to be.
" Not physically, no." I peek a look at my friend and slowly raise myself up from the bed, watching him the whole time.
" Mentally? Spiritually? Legolas please allow me to help…" Legolas finally turns to look at me, his fierce eyes flaming with some emotion I rarely see.
" You want to help me? Why must everyone want to help me?! One way to help is to leave me the hoolies alone!" He shouts and tosses the pad onto the chair next to him before bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping long arms around them. He stares off into the distance a haunted look upon his features.
" I think that being alone is the last thing you want my friend." I tell him soothingly and remove the drawing tablet from the chair so I can seat myself in it. He doesn't even look at me, his voice comes even and cold, like the edge of a blade.
" Why must everything be so difficult? Maybe this is some cruel joke played upon me by the gods, for we all know their sad humor."
" What is so difficult my friend?" I ask, pressing Legolas to open up and at least give me an insight.
" Life in general." I smile, knowing how badly things have been known to go for the Elf. Many adventures went amiss when his good-fortune decided to take a vacation.
" Aye, but what can you do? You can either lay down and die, or keep going and over come the odds." I reply, using the same words he once told me when I had my own bout with misfortunes back in my adolescents, especially with the maidens.
" I don't think there is anyway to overcome these odds." He says sadly and gets up from his spot, stretching the long muscles that line his back. I wince when the joints pop and crack back into place, making him sound like an old nag trying to bare a rider.
" How does you back fare after the fall and fight?" I ask, knowing as well the prince wouldn't allow my father to check the area and after plunging over the falls, it might be causing him some pain. Legolas looks at me and cocks and eyebrow and hesitates with his answer.
" It…. Aches. Mostly near my lower back." He relents and I smile, getting up from the chair and going back to the bed, nestling myself near the headboard and then gesturing for Legolas go sit. He stands there and looks at me, his eyes holding a great question but mild amusement.
" Come, take of your tunic and I'll message your back." I smile and once more pat the bed area in front of me. He sighs and slowly lifts his tunic over his head, then sitting down in front of me. With the aid of the candle light I take in the arched back, the spinal cord easily defined among the muscles. Many scars line the back where the cord sits in the center, most the width of my thumb and almost pure white against this pale skin. I wait until Legolas is comfortable with my hands being on his back before slowly moving them in circles over the tense muscles. We sit there for some time, Legolas in front and I messaging his back, my hands working in tune to a song I am humming.
" Do you ever wonder what life would be like if your mother still lived and you lived with her?" Legolas' light voice asks, breaking my happy tune. I stop humming and contemplate my response. Sure I use to think about what would be if my mother never died, and if Lord Elrond never agreed to raise me. Yet the more I thought on it, the more questions aroused within my mind, many 'what ifs' came out of those thoughts.
" Of course, but to many questions arose with that thought." I tell him trustfully, continuing my circles along the spine now and every now and then the muscles would twitch and then relax.
" I use to wonder, what it would be like if I died and my mother lived. I often think that my father would have been far more happier if she did live." He says quietly, his head angled near his chest. I don't stop my work but lean my head down so that it rests on his upper back.
"I use to ask myself ' What would it be like if I never lived?' and I always got the same response ' People wouldn't be burdened down with me, and they would be much happier.'" Legolas tells me softly and I smile. I have had those inner conversations many times but they always resulted in my two sides arguing. They rarely ever agree.
" Well if you didn't live and we didn't meet do you think all those great pranks would have been pulled? Do you think Ada would have to restock his healing herbs every two weeks?" I ask and I feel the light tremor of his laughter as I continue my messaging of the stiff muscles.
" Estel? Do you think our meeting was meant to be? Like the Gods really had this all planned well before our births?" He asks and I force him to keep his body straight. I sigh, thinking of the right way to put this
" I believe that the gods sought it right to bring two suffering souls together. We were both suffering and they thought that we would make each other happy, so they put us together." I tell my friend and growl when he tries to turn to look at me once more.
" How were you suffering when we met?" he asks, curiosity racing through his words.
" Well when we met I was a terribly lonely. With my brothers always gone on patrol and my sister living in Lorien I had no one to talk to. Adar and Glorfindel were busy and none of the other Elven children excepted me, so I was lonely and miserable." I tell my friend and He relaxes into my touch more. I have been meaning to talk to my cousin like this for a long time, just him and I sharing thoughts but the right opportunity never presented itself. Now it has and I plan on taking it full force.
" Which ever it was, planned or spontaneous they brought us together to do one thing." I laugh and Legolas gives me a questioning look over his shoulder.
" And pray tell what is that?" He asks a slight arch of the eyebrow.
" To put more gray hairs on Adar's head!" I laugh
" I don't think it is so much as putting them on his head, but keeping him young!" Legolas says laughter racking his sides.
" I hope our children aren't like us." I laugh and flop back onto the pillows, Legolas dropping on his side, face flushed with laughter.
" You're a bit to your to be worrying about children yet my friend! Unless there is something you haven't told me?" He says seriously before allowing his face to break out in a wide grin. I toss a pillow at him and laugh when he falls off the bed, laughing hysterically on the floor, hugging the pillow close to his body. I fall back convulsing with my own laughter.
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"It has been a long time since we laughed like that." Legolas says while he undoes the braids in his long hair. After a few hours of talking about past adventures and just enjoying each others company we soon discovered that the whole house was silent and I being a loud walker would disturb the silence agreed to stay in the Elf's room for the evening. I lounge on my side of the bed, watching my friend prepare for bed. Wearing only my pants, unbuttoned and loosened and a sleeping tunic I huddle under the covers.
" Yes it has, it felt good too." I smile and prepare to fall asleep when Legolas pinches out the candles and gets himself into bed. He situates himself and when he falls still I allow myself to fall off into sleep, feeling content with my talks with him and feeling like there is a new light on our friendship.
GENERAL POV {Mine ^^}
From outside the room stood one blonde elf, his darker eyes watching as the two friends settled down for the evening. The figure turns when another, darker haired being comes out from the shadows, walking softly and easily.
" My Lord." The blonde whispers and bows.
" Watching the youths Glorfindel?" the darker haired one asks and smiles.
" Yes, it is good to hear their laughter once more Lord Elrond." Glorfindel says and moves away from the door.
" I swear when they were younger I thought they would be the death of me." Elrond laughs and follows his advisor back to their rooms.
" Well, they would have either killed you, or made you stronger my lord. I personally think it is the latter. Good evening." He says and goes into his own room, getting ready for the evening.
" Yes, I do to, hopefully there will be no grandchildren like them, for that is all I can pray for." Elrond sighs and goes into his own room, preparing for bed as well.
Immortal Sadness: Okay, so that was a bit more light humored. I thought it would be good to put something else in the story than just angst. LOL, my mom is constantly cursing me with children like myself, which in my case would be ADHD spazmatic children that would drive me nuts. Yet I'm sure I'll love them just the same!
I felt so bad about not updating for a long time that I thought I would give you an extra chapter. Well I'm off to do my research for that project, please REVIEW and tell me what you think! REVIEW!