Chapter 12.
"Stick another one in there love." Spike motioned to his empty glass.
"In fact make it a double this time, yeah!"
The girl behind the bar took his glass and proceeded to pour two large
shots of Bourbon. She slid it back across the bar to him.
"Bad day huh?" She asked as he seized the glass. He just stared back
at her, before returning his gaze back to the bar.
"You just have that 'bad day' look about you, that's all." She
continued. Spike picked up a beer mat and started to tear the
cardboard disk apart, ignoring the jabbering woman in front of him.
"Its my first day here, I'm Kelly," she held out her hand. He flung
the pieces of card back onto the bar.
"Listen, Kelly is it? No offence pet, but if I wanted to talk I
wouldn't be sitting at the bar alone now would I?" he snapped.
She pulled her hand back and turned her back on him. "Jeez, rude
much!" She muttered under her breath.
Spike ran his hand back through his hair, then turned his attention
back to his drink. He didn't want to talk, he just wanted to drink
himself into a stupor. He just wanted to get that damn Summers' woman
out of his head. He had started to realise that coming back to
Sunnydale was probably not the smartest plan in the world. It was
clear she was never going to forgive him, he was just dredging up
things that should be left where they belong, in the past. All he had
wanted was a chance to explain, a chance to tell her why he left. He
reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes, tapping
the packet on the side of the bar, he retrieved one and raised it to
his mouth to light it. Then he heard her. The club was busy, but he
knew her laugh anywhere. Spike leant against the post by his chair
and span round a little.
"Shit! Might have known she'd be here," he mumbled banging his head on
the post.
'Is she drunk?' He thought to himself as he sat and watched. They
were all there, Willow, Xander, Faith, Dawn. 'Oh bloody brilliant, I
am gonna get lynched on my second night in town!'
Buffy was pulling Dawn up from her chair, despite Dawn's efforts to
resist. Spike looked on with amusement as she fell flat on her
backside. Willow had rushed to her aid, but now Buffy was pulling her
and Dawn towards the dance floor. He raised his eyebrow, this
couldn't be the same girl surely. Buffy never drank, ever!
As far as he saw it there were two options, he could make a run for
the exit, but he was pretty sure Faith would get to him first, not a
prospect he relished. Spike already knew she was going to make
earrings out of his bollocks on Monday, as it was. Then there was
option two, go talk to her, she was drunk and by the looks of it in a
good mood, she had obviously calmed down since the day before. Spike
stood up, downed the remainder of his drink and headed towards the
table of his former friends and lover.
Buffy collapsed back into her chair. "I love tequila, it makes me
happy!" she sang, very out of tune.
"More, more!" She waved an empty shot glass in front of Xander. She
leant forward and her head smacked onto the table.
"Ow! Who moved the table?" She slurred.
Willow put her arm around her girlfriend, who was looking at the scene
in front of her, trying not to laugh. "Oh boy, she is sure gonna have
an evil hangover tomorrow!"
Tara nodded and kissed the redhead on the cheek gently. "At least she
seems, you know, happy. Even if it is a distracted happy, that's a
good thing right." She smiled.
Faith was the first to notice Spike approaching from the bar. She
gave him a look that could freeze a person at a hundred paces. He
stopped dead in his tracks.
"Xan, get her the hell out of here!" Faith snapped. Xander span in
his chair to face her, she had a face like thunder. "Are you deaf,
get her out godammit!"
Xander put a hand on her shoulder to try and calm the fiery brunette.
"Faith don't stress, The Buffster's cool, she ready to pass out any
minute, then we can take her home, okay." Faith motioned behind his
head and he turned to look over his shoulder. Faith jumped up and
headed towards Spike on an intercept course. She was too late, he
pushed right past her and made moves towards Buffy.
Buffy had just told a joke that made no sense to anyone but her,
partly because she told the wrong punch line, but mostly because she
told the punch line first. She was laughing hysterically, oblivious
to the silence that had descended around the table.
"Oh boy," Willow whispered, "get ready to duck and cover Tara!"
Spike stood at the side of the table, he was shaking, and he couldn't
believe it. These people were his friends, or they used to be, yet he
was terrified.
"Hi guys," he began meekly. Buffy's head flew up. How dare he come
here?
"Buffy, Hi. Look we really need to talk, can we..can we talk,
please?" He looked straight into her eyes, they cut straight through
him. There was no more laughter from her, no smiles. The girl he had
been watching from the other side of the club, had left the building,
leaving this bitter shell behind. She simply turned back to Dawn and
ignored him. Spike refused to leave it at that though, things needed
to be said and if he didn't say them now, he didn't know if he would
be able to ever
"Please Buffy, can we talk?"
She spun around to face him again and stood up, staring at him with
such hate.
"You want to talk do you Spike!" She started calmly. "That's a
fucking joke!" She spat the words out with venom.
"Whatdya wanna talk about Spike?" she pushed him on the shoulder and
he staggered backwards a step.
"Oh wait, I've got a good one," she continued raising her voice
slightly, "How about where the hell did you go? It's been over five
years, five fucking years Spike and not a word, now you come back and
want to talk, well guess what I don't want to hear it!!" He tried to
get a word in but Buffy was on a roll, and there was no way he was
getting in the way of it.
"I trusted you, asshole! I believed all your lies! All your lies,
about how you loved me!" The words caught in her throat as she said
them.
Spike stepped back towards her," I did love you Buffy, I never lied."
She pulled back her hand and slapped him across the face. "Liar!" she
rasped "You loved me so much that after a year you just disappear, no
note, no call, I thought you were fucking dead, bastard!"
He held his had to his jaw. "I had no choice Buffy, I didn't leave
because I didn't love you. I left because I had no choice!"
"Fuck you!" She screamed. The argument had caused quite a crowd to
gather nearby eavesdropping
.
"You had five years to come up with an excuse and that's all you can
think up, 'I had no choice!'," she mimicked him.
"Well that's just mighty fine Spike, so long as you had no choice,
huh!"
"I lost my dad, my mom, she dead you know, not that you give a shit
hey, if it's not about Spike its not important is it!" she shouted at
him.
Tears began to well in his eyes but he fought them back, " I only just
heard about your mom Buffy, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how you
felt, it must have been awful love, really awful."
She didn't need or want his sympathy. "What the hell would you know
about it Spike, you have no idea how I felt."
Buffy could see the anger building in him, his hands were shaking and
his eyes shining with tears. "You know nothing Spike!" she spat out.
"I have lost everyone Buffy!" He shouted. "My mum, my dad, my
friends, you, my...." he couldn't get the last words out, why would
she care anyway. "You don't have a monopoly on loss Summers!" He
snapped out.
She stood square up to him, "People die Spike, deal with it, I have.
I'm glad you lost people you love, what goes around usually comes
around!" Buffy span on her heel and headed to the bar, empty glass in
hand.
Spike steamed off in the direction of the exit, leather coat billowing
behind him.
"Ouch!" Anya spoke up,"She fights dirty after a few drinks huh!"
"Stick another one in there love." Spike motioned to his empty glass.
"In fact make it a double this time, yeah!"
The girl behind the bar took his glass and proceeded to pour two large
shots of Bourbon. She slid it back across the bar to him.
"Bad day huh?" She asked as he seized the glass. He just stared back
at her, before returning his gaze back to the bar.
"You just have that 'bad day' look about you, that's all." She
continued. Spike picked up a beer mat and started to tear the
cardboard disk apart, ignoring the jabbering woman in front of him.
"Its my first day here, I'm Kelly," she held out her hand. He flung
the pieces of card back onto the bar.
"Listen, Kelly is it? No offence pet, but if I wanted to talk I
wouldn't be sitting at the bar alone now would I?" he snapped.
She pulled her hand back and turned her back on him. "Jeez, rude
much!" She muttered under her breath.
Spike ran his hand back through his hair, then turned his attention
back to his drink. He didn't want to talk, he just wanted to drink
himself into a stupor. He just wanted to get that damn Summers' woman
out of his head. He had started to realise that coming back to
Sunnydale was probably not the smartest plan in the world. It was
clear she was never going to forgive him, he was just dredging up
things that should be left where they belong, in the past. All he had
wanted was a chance to explain, a chance to tell her why he left. He
reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes, tapping
the packet on the side of the bar, he retrieved one and raised it to
his mouth to light it. Then he heard her. The club was busy, but he
knew her laugh anywhere. Spike leant against the post by his chair
and span round a little.
"Shit! Might have known she'd be here," he mumbled banging his head on
the post.
'Is she drunk?' He thought to himself as he sat and watched. They
were all there, Willow, Xander, Faith, Dawn. 'Oh bloody brilliant, I
am gonna get lynched on my second night in town!'
Buffy was pulling Dawn up from her chair, despite Dawn's efforts to
resist. Spike looked on with amusement as she fell flat on her
backside. Willow had rushed to her aid, but now Buffy was pulling her
and Dawn towards the dance floor. He raised his eyebrow, this
couldn't be the same girl surely. Buffy never drank, ever!
As far as he saw it there were two options, he could make a run for
the exit, but he was pretty sure Faith would get to him first, not a
prospect he relished. Spike already knew she was going to make
earrings out of his bollocks on Monday, as it was. Then there was
option two, go talk to her, she was drunk and by the looks of it in a
good mood, she had obviously calmed down since the day before. Spike
stood up, downed the remainder of his drink and headed towards the
table of his former friends and lover.
Buffy collapsed back into her chair. "I love tequila, it makes me
happy!" she sang, very out of tune.
"More, more!" She waved an empty shot glass in front of Xander. She
leant forward and her head smacked onto the table.
"Ow! Who moved the table?" She slurred.
Willow put her arm around her girlfriend, who was looking at the scene
in front of her, trying not to laugh. "Oh boy, she is sure gonna have
an evil hangover tomorrow!"
Tara nodded and kissed the redhead on the cheek gently. "At least she
seems, you know, happy. Even if it is a distracted happy, that's a
good thing right." She smiled.
Faith was the first to notice Spike approaching from the bar. She
gave him a look that could freeze a person at a hundred paces. He
stopped dead in his tracks.
"Xan, get her the hell out of here!" Faith snapped. Xander span in
his chair to face her, she had a face like thunder. "Are you deaf,
get her out godammit!"
Xander put a hand on her shoulder to try and calm the fiery brunette.
"Faith don't stress, The Buffster's cool, she ready to pass out any
minute, then we can take her home, okay." Faith motioned behind his
head and he turned to look over his shoulder. Faith jumped up and
headed towards Spike on an intercept course. She was too late, he
pushed right past her and made moves towards Buffy.
Buffy had just told a joke that made no sense to anyone but her,
partly because she told the wrong punch line, but mostly because she
told the punch line first. She was laughing hysterically, oblivious
to the silence that had descended around the table.
"Oh boy," Willow whispered, "get ready to duck and cover Tara!"
Spike stood at the side of the table, he was shaking, and he couldn't
believe it. These people were his friends, or they used to be, yet he
was terrified.
"Hi guys," he began meekly. Buffy's head flew up. How dare he come
here?
"Buffy, Hi. Look we really need to talk, can we..can we talk,
please?" He looked straight into her eyes, they cut straight through
him. There was no more laughter from her, no smiles. The girl he had
been watching from the other side of the club, had left the building,
leaving this bitter shell behind. She simply turned back to Dawn and
ignored him. Spike refused to leave it at that though, things needed
to be said and if he didn't say them now, he didn't know if he would
be able to ever
"Please Buffy, can we talk?"
She spun around to face him again and stood up, staring at him with
such hate.
"You want to talk do you Spike!" She started calmly. "That's a
fucking joke!" She spat the words out with venom.
"Whatdya wanna talk about Spike?" she pushed him on the shoulder and
he staggered backwards a step.
"Oh wait, I've got a good one," she continued raising her voice
slightly, "How about where the hell did you go? It's been over five
years, five fucking years Spike and not a word, now you come back and
want to talk, well guess what I don't want to hear it!!" He tried to
get a word in but Buffy was on a roll, and there was no way he was
getting in the way of it.
"I trusted you, asshole! I believed all your lies! All your lies,
about how you loved me!" The words caught in her throat as she said
them.
Spike stepped back towards her," I did love you Buffy, I never lied."
She pulled back her hand and slapped him across the face. "Liar!" she
rasped "You loved me so much that after a year you just disappear, no
note, no call, I thought you were fucking dead, bastard!"
He held his had to his jaw. "I had no choice Buffy, I didn't leave
because I didn't love you. I left because I had no choice!"
"Fuck you!" She screamed. The argument had caused quite a crowd to
gather nearby eavesdropping
.
"You had five years to come up with an excuse and that's all you can
think up, 'I had no choice!'," she mimicked him.
"Well that's just mighty fine Spike, so long as you had no choice,
huh!"
"I lost my dad, my mom, she dead you know, not that you give a shit
hey, if it's not about Spike its not important is it!" she shouted at
him.
Tears began to well in his eyes but he fought them back, " I only just
heard about your mom Buffy, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how you
felt, it must have been awful love, really awful."
She didn't need or want his sympathy. "What the hell would you know
about it Spike, you have no idea how I felt."
Buffy could see the anger building in him, his hands were shaking and
his eyes shining with tears. "You know nothing Spike!" she spat out.
"I have lost everyone Buffy!" He shouted. "My mum, my dad, my
friends, you, my...." he couldn't get the last words out, why would
she care anyway. "You don't have a monopoly on loss Summers!" He
snapped out.
She stood square up to him, "People die Spike, deal with it, I have.
I'm glad you lost people you love, what goes around usually comes
around!" Buffy span on her heel and headed to the bar, empty glass in
hand.
Spike steamed off in the direction of the exit, leather coat billowing
behind him.
"Ouch!" Anya spoke up,"She fights dirty after a few drinks huh!"