And Shinji saw that It was Good…
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Ryouji Kaji walks into the Katsuragi apartment, knocking on the door and looking around to find the entrance and subsequently the living room completely empty save for Pen Pen. Silently, he creeps into the apartment with the training of a super-spy, walking to the kitchen and finding that, to, is empty.
"Hello?" he asks, "I got a call from Misato. Asuka? She said something was wrong."
He scratches his head, looking around. To him, this makes no sense; without fail, whenever he walks into the apartment Asuka's always ready to greet him with the zeal of a future stalker. Shrugging, he walks to her door, knocking on it.
"Asuka? It's me. Is anything wrong?"
The door opens, just a sliver, and he sees the bloodshot eye looking past him and to the kitchen.
"Pen Pen…is…talking," she says, and quickly slides the door shut.
"Asuka," Kaji asks, "Have you been drinking Misato's beer?"
"No…only one," the voice whispers from behind the door.
Kaji walks from the door to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and taking out one of the ever present cans of Yebisu beer, opening it and sniffing.
"Hm…don't smell any hallucinogens. And Asuka should have a cast-iron stomach, since she's lived with Misato this long."
He turns to the direction of the living room.
"Pen Pen?"
"Yo."
Kaji stands still for a moment, processing the fact that the penguin just replied. And shrugs, taking a long drag of the beer.
"Eh, I've seen weirder."
And he goes to the couch to join the penguin in watching television, relieved that there's someone he can have a conversation with in the apartment.
"Oh, and isn't he a wonderful help?"
Shinji sighs, turning back to the droll Metatron before closing the door.
"I thought he'd at least be suspicious," Shinji says, "And he can keep a secret."
"Oh, I'm sure he'd take 'I'm God now' with more than just ruffling your hair and sitting you down to explain about typical teenage psychological complexes," the Angel says, folding his arms, "Don't worry about the first wish. I get the feeling everyone here will become alarmingly used to the idea of the penguin talking soon enough. Now, we need to discuss further uses of your power. What do you want to do with it?"
"Me? What do I want to do with it?" Shinji asks, eyes snapping open, "I…didn't know I had a choice…"
The Metatron sighs, shaking his head.
"You seem to misunderstand the meaning of the word 'Omnipotent.' Of course you have the choice. You currently have every choice humanly possible at your fingertips."
"And what can I do with it? What sort of power does it give me?"
"Say you wish the Angels would leave Earth alone, and it is done. Say you wish your mother was alive again, and it is done. It gives you all the power that there is. Do you understand?"
"I…think so," Shinji responds, walking over to his futon and sitting down on it, "I think so. It takes me literally, doesn't it?"
The Angel nods.
"Very literally?"
"You wanted understanding and the penguin began talking. Very literally."
"So if I asked for my father to go to Hell…"
"He'd be getting a tan right now, yes."
"Oh. Well…alright…ah…"
He smiles. Darkly, folding his hands in front of him.
"You wouldn't hold it against me if I decided to get some payback, would you," he asks, looking to the Angel.
"I know what you're thinking. Go ahead."
"Alright," Shinji says, rubbing his hands together, "Then I wish…"
Commander Gendo Ikari pushes his glasses back up his nose…and they fly off, past his desk and onto the floor. He looks around, standing up, taking another quick glance around to determine exactly why they shot off like a wind-up car, and walks around the desk to him.
At this moment, the sprinklers come on, soaking the room, the floor, and Commander Ikari.
The bright side is that the reports he was looking over with laminated for use in a projector at a future SEELE council meeting, but that doesn't help him as the Commander lets loose a series of blistering oaths as he stalks towards his glasses.
He picks them up, placing them on his nose, and walks back to the desk.
This is when he determines that the sprinklers were in fact not filled with water but with fire retardant.
Frictionless fire retardant.
He realizes this when his shoes lose all semblance of traction, and in a spectacular slip that leaves him in mid-air for 3.2 seconds, he slams his ass against the desk, bouncing off of it and slamming his back against the floor, screaming epitaphs that, unfortunately, aren't heard outside his sound-proofed office.
This is when he noticed that one of his feet, dangling in the air as he grabs his now throbbing with pain seat, is bare down to a sock. And sees the object silhouetted in the reflected light of the Sephirotic Tree.
It was in mid air that his left shoe flew off, flying through the air, bouncing off the ceiling…
And smacking him heel-first in the forehead, making him scream yet another series of curses.
"Thy will be done," Metatron says with a grin, "I'm just telling you're going to love this."
Bermuda, one of the few sets of islands spared the tidal waves of Second Impact.
Mainly for the beaches.
God (or He who was Once Known as God and is on Vacation for a Month) lies on a beach chair, still clad in his white suit, hands cradling his head as he stairs out at the setting sun.
"Admit it. The sunsets are beautiful."
"Yes, they're wonderful. Can we focus on the fact that absolute power has been handed to a neurotic with a severe Oedipus complex?"
God looks over his shoulder to one of the fifteen visitors currently inhabiting the sparse island. The speaker is a young man with white hair and red eyes, dressed casually in a white shirt and black pants. A few years older than his physical form will be when he assumes his role, he possesses none of the serenity that would ingrain him to the Third Child…
Or anyone else, for that matter.
"You're a lot nicer when you're Kaworu, Tabris," God says.
"Yes, that's all fascinating," Tabris says, grinding his teeth, "But that's because in that form I am Mortal. I know pain, fear. I see things not through the big picture but through the eyes of one fascinated by life. And most importantly, I do not see the colossal…blunder…that this threatens to enact."
The 17th angel shakes his head, looking past God and to the sea.
"The other Angels of Trial are here to…question this action with I. We do not see the wisdom of granting the Omnipotence and the Omniscience to any mortal, much less a Child, and especially also dispatching the Metatron to him to guide him on how to use his Power."
"All was done through my wisdom," God says with a small grin, "Of course, it can conflict with the Trials of Man, but we will see what is for the best."
Tabris fumes, his pale skin turning bright red as he is all but brushed off by his Creator. A smaller hand pats him on the shoulder, and the Angel of Free Will turns to stare daggers into the smaller form of a silver-haired young woman.
"Yes, Arael?" he says through clenched teeth.
"Perhaps I may?" she asks, "What Tabris means is that…we are concerned. We have labored long and hard to bring about Complementation, and with absolute power handed a human, this could put it in jeopardy."
"True," God responds, "But it is out of our hands now. Mortals are what will be affected. Mortals, therefore, should decide."
Tabris closes his eyes, releasing a long, pent up breath, as the thirteen figures behind Arael and himself nod in agreements to the edict.
"Thy will be done," Tabris says, "Thy Kingdom Come. Will You take offense if we still pursue our agenda?"
"I shall not. It is your present purpose and, as always, I wish you luck."
Tabris turns. As one, so do the thirteen figures, and they march off with him. Arael bows, and then walks off after the others.
"Oh, this should be interesting," a blonde figure says, materializing next to God, flexing out his white, slightly charred wings, "Did you plan this?"
"Of course not," God says with a grin, "I simply nudged it along. But yes…this will be interesting."
Misato's reaction to the talking penguin was the same as her reaction of all of the unexpected surprises of life:
Beer.
Life went on that night is the Katsuragi household as it always has, with the exception of the fact that Pen Pen now could openly offer his insightful knowledge of the world at large.
Eventually, Asuka was convinced that Pen Pen talking was not necessarily a bad thing. Invisible to all, Metatron pointed out to Shinji that, eventually, he will be able to use his powers in a benign fashion, and it may be best to start with those closest to him.
Despite ending the statement with the words 'hint, hint,' Shinji did not grasp the true meaning.
All seemed well. At least, in all places but the now cleaned office of Commander Ikari. No one would dare look for what was amiss, as such things were not looked upon favorably by the commanding officer.
Indeed, no worker would have the intestinal fortitude to peer into that particular drawer in that particular desk, and look upon the container that held the embryonic form of the First Angel, Adam.
And to see that the container was empty.