Quick note: The title to this story was an off the wall comment made by
SpongeBob to Squidward in the episode "Fools in April". It just tickled me
and I had to use it. Oh well, enjoy! AND AS USUAL, I OWN NOTHING BUT THE
PLOT!
The One With the Lima Beans and the Car Chase
A SpongeBob Squarepants Fanfic
by angelenes-dreams
PART TWO - AT WORK THE NEXT DAY
It is the next day, and SpongeBob is at work. Being a Friday, its been extremely busy all day, keeping his mind focused on Krabbie Patties and fried oyster skins, and off of his special night tonight with Sunny, his girlfriend of six months. Finally, closing time comes. Mr. Krabs, Squidward and SpongeBob talk as they finish wiping down the dinning room.
Squidward: "Well...another day, another dime."
SpongeBob: (gasps) "You get a whole dime?"
Mr. Krabs: "Keep talkin' like that, an' I'll take my dimes back! Ar ar ar ar! We had us a good day today! So, what are you lads up to on a Friday night? Think I'll give Mrs. Puff a little visit!"
He gives Squidward a wink and a nudge.
Squidward: "Okay! You can spare us the details! (sighs) I'm probably going straight to bed. My tentacles are killing me."
Mr. Krabs: How 'bout you, boy?"
SpongeBob is diligently wiping the tables.
SpongeBob: "Sunny and I are going to have sex tonight."
The room goes deathly quiet. When SpongeBob stops and looks up, Mr. Krabs' and Squidward's jaws are hanging down and their eyes are bulging, more than usual. After a moment, Mr. Krabs starts laughing.
Mr. Krabs: "Ar ar ar ar ar ar! Good for you, son! Mr. Squidward, our little fry cook is turnin' into a man, he is!"
SpongeBob: "Well, Mr. Krabs...I've never, you know, done it...before..."
Squidward: "Um, may I please be excused to go clean the bathrooms?! I really don't think I can stomach this conversation!"
Mr. Krabs waves him off.
Mr. Krabs: "Oh, don't worry! You'll be fine! Just be safe. You have protection?"
Panic mounts in SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: "Protection?! From what?!"
Mr. Krabs: "Didn't your mum an' dad ever tell ya 'bout the Scallops and the Jellyfish?"
SpongeBob screams in horror.
SpongeBob: "What happens with the scallops and the jellyfish??!!"
Mr. Krabs: "Ar, I didn't realized you were this naive...come into me office, lad."
In his office, he has a long talk with SpongeBob about the downsides of sex. Afterwards, SpongeBob feels like someone who has eaten more than he is able to digest. He thanks Mr. Krabs and goes to leave.
Mr. Krabs: "Just enjoy yerself, boy! Natural instincts have a way of takin' over! Oh, before I ferget...here you go."
He reaches into his desk drawer and hands SpongeBob a prophylactic.
Mr. Krabs: "Good night, lad!"
SpongeBob: "Yeah...goodnight, Mr. Krabs..."
SpongeBob's head is swimming. He leaves the Krusty Krab. A thought suddenly occurs to Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: "Great Neptune...Please tell me he knows what to do with that thing..."
He imagines SpongeBob blowing it up like a balloon, and then letting it go. It flies around and round SpongeBob and Sunny's heads and then drops on the floor. SpongeBob says to her, "Wanna do it again?"
END OF PART 2
Tonight's the big night! Keep checking back in a few days for part 3!!!
The One With the Lima Beans and the Car Chase
A SpongeBob Squarepants Fanfic
by angelenes-dreams
PART TWO - AT WORK THE NEXT DAY
It is the next day, and SpongeBob is at work. Being a Friday, its been extremely busy all day, keeping his mind focused on Krabbie Patties and fried oyster skins, and off of his special night tonight with Sunny, his girlfriend of six months. Finally, closing time comes. Mr. Krabs, Squidward and SpongeBob talk as they finish wiping down the dinning room.
Squidward: "Well...another day, another dime."
SpongeBob: (gasps) "You get a whole dime?"
Mr. Krabs: "Keep talkin' like that, an' I'll take my dimes back! Ar ar ar ar! We had us a good day today! So, what are you lads up to on a Friday night? Think I'll give Mrs. Puff a little visit!"
He gives Squidward a wink and a nudge.
Squidward: "Okay! You can spare us the details! (sighs) I'm probably going straight to bed. My tentacles are killing me."
Mr. Krabs: How 'bout you, boy?"
SpongeBob is diligently wiping the tables.
SpongeBob: "Sunny and I are going to have sex tonight."
The room goes deathly quiet. When SpongeBob stops and looks up, Mr. Krabs' and Squidward's jaws are hanging down and their eyes are bulging, more than usual. After a moment, Mr. Krabs starts laughing.
Mr. Krabs: "Ar ar ar ar ar ar! Good for you, son! Mr. Squidward, our little fry cook is turnin' into a man, he is!"
SpongeBob: "Well, Mr. Krabs...I've never, you know, done it...before..."
Squidward: "Um, may I please be excused to go clean the bathrooms?! I really don't think I can stomach this conversation!"
Mr. Krabs waves him off.
Mr. Krabs: "Oh, don't worry! You'll be fine! Just be safe. You have protection?"
Panic mounts in SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: "Protection?! From what?!"
Mr. Krabs: "Didn't your mum an' dad ever tell ya 'bout the Scallops and the Jellyfish?"
SpongeBob screams in horror.
SpongeBob: "What happens with the scallops and the jellyfish??!!"
Mr. Krabs: "Ar, I didn't realized you were this naive...come into me office, lad."
In his office, he has a long talk with SpongeBob about the downsides of sex. Afterwards, SpongeBob feels like someone who has eaten more than he is able to digest. He thanks Mr. Krabs and goes to leave.
Mr. Krabs: "Just enjoy yerself, boy! Natural instincts have a way of takin' over! Oh, before I ferget...here you go."
He reaches into his desk drawer and hands SpongeBob a prophylactic.
Mr. Krabs: "Good night, lad!"
SpongeBob: "Yeah...goodnight, Mr. Krabs..."
SpongeBob's head is swimming. He leaves the Krusty Krab. A thought suddenly occurs to Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: "Great Neptune...Please tell me he knows what to do with that thing..."
He imagines SpongeBob blowing it up like a balloon, and then letting it go. It flies around and round SpongeBob and Sunny's heads and then drops on the floor. SpongeBob says to her, "Wanna do it again?"
END OF PART 2
Tonight's the big night! Keep checking back in a few days for part 3!!!