A.n.-Gomen for the wait, I've been really busy with Don't Think Of Me II...Still...I hope ya'all like this...and Chibi_Ai I decided to take your advice. This chappie is in Malik-chan's p.o.v. I'm thinking of doin' the next chappie in Yuugi's p.o.v. See how he's doin' while all this chaos is goin' down^_^. Hope ya like it 'n' don't forget to review!^_^
And Marsdemon, I'm happy that you like my work so much^_^. I hope this chappie quenches your addiction^_~. Ty again:)
And...guess I did make Marik a lil' sadistic, ne?^_^ Well...after seeing him in a few jap eps and ours...he kinda strikes me as bein' sorta sadistic...I'm happy I did his char justice!^_^ Ty everyone!^_^
Also, to those of you who asked why Bakura-chan wasn't upset about Marik raping Ryou-chan and went into a murderous rage whenever Yugioh held him...you'll find out when I manage to whip out another Bakura-chan p.o.v^_~
'N' to all of you reading Dark Flame...the next chappie is comin' very soon; as for the next chapter to "Without You"...will be posted not long after this. Probably about ten minutes afterward...so...here it comes^_^
Dedication-R_Amythest, Chibi-Ai, Gues, Chibi_Ai, Fyredra, Irssatin, Draggy, Marsdemon, Thockie, Crossover Authoress, Winged Wolf, Yaoifan, Millenium Elf, Yami no Hikari, Shitsumon, and Hotaruchan27. Arigato all of you!!^_^_^_^I was sooo happy when I read all of your reviews! I promise not to make ya'all wait so long again for the next chappie to this!
"I cannot take this anymore, saying everything I said before
All these words they make no sense I found this in ignorance
Less I hear, the less you say...you'll find that out anyway
Just like before..."
"Everything you say to me, takes me one step closer to the edge and I'm about to break
I need a little room to pray, 'cause I'm one step closer to the edge I'm about to break,"
"I find the answers are so clear, wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense, I found this in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away over and over again...just like before."
"Somewhere I belong…" Linkin Park
He's worse then my Yami.
At least I can *feel* when my Yami is near, when his murderous rage has begun to build and I need to run like a bat out of hell. But not Yami no Bakura. His eyes...those hard chocolate brown eyes with the color of blood simmering near the pupil never give way to what he's thinking. He lets me wander through the house, watching me with those demonic eyes of his.
The fear is quaking in me. Yami no Bakura knows that pain doesn't bother me. I don't like it, but I have a high tolerance for it. And to compensate for that he's decided to try to drive me even further out of my friggin' MIND! I breathed slowly as I curled up tighter in the small, cramped corner of the living room.
Like Tenshi-chan, I don't like the dark. I hate being surrounded in its suffocating hold, but I can't risk being in the light. He'll find me way to easy then. I walked away from my Yami thinking I could handle whatever Yami no Bakura threw at me; that I had nothing to worry about unlike Tenshi-chan. I was wrong. So very wrong. And now my mind instead of my body pays the price. Ra damn it! He's driving me INSANE! Or was I already crazy? I don't know...don't know...don't know...every thing is so muddled and confused...
Wait! What was that sound?! It creaked...somewhere...near me, yes near me. Close to the staircase in the other room. I pulled my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around them. I grimaced at the squeak my feet made across the floor. Just bloody brilliant Malik! What, do you want that sadistic bastard to find you or what?!
I tried so slow my rapid breathing, it was too loud...he'd surely hear. I was safe...for the moment...I couldn't let him find...can't let him find me...I chewed on my nail nervously, letting my platinum blonde hair to fall around my face. I was dressed in a pair of Tenshi-chan's loose khaki pants and one of his spare t-shirts. My clothes had been ripped and bloodied so many times that all was left was rags. And I'll be damned before I walk around in rags like *his* slave. Oh wait, I am damned...I'm stuck with psycho for a Yami and a sadistic tomb robber driveling me up the freakin' wall! I'm already in HELL!
Breathe, Malik...breathe...breathe...in out...in and out...yeah...think...think about good things...yes, happy things...
Like...the first time I really meet Tenshi-chan. Yami no Bakura and my Yami were off arguing in the other room of the house...and it was here...in this room we first met. Tenshi-chan had been cleaning up some broken glass, from a vase his Yami had thrown at his head. Crimson had been running down the side of his face, his long slender fingers bathing in blood as the shards cut into his flesh.
I remember...yes, I'd kneeled down and helped him pick it up. He'd looked up at me, into my eyes with such...innocence. An innocence I felt I had lost a very long time ago. To my Yami. When I learned just what malice and cruelty really meant. When I meet my own personal version of the devil who oh so wonderfully had been joined to my very soul.
He'd known just as I had when I'd seen him through my Yami's eyes (he let me watch when he was in control some times, not often but once in a while) that I was a hikari. That we were alike, bonded together through violence and pure undying cruelty. We became close - our Yami's didn't really care. The closer we were, the more they didn't have to worry about Yuugi and the others getting curious about why we spent so much time together. See no evil, hear no evil. I heard that somewhere, though I can't recall where...see no evil, hear no evil...
I wrapped my arms tighter around myself. The darkness around me seemed to have taken shapes, menacing cruel shapes. Eyes of hardened chips of lavender seemed to glare at me with eyes of a glossy evil brownish red. My heartbeat jumped several notches. Laughter seemed to resonate around me. I shut my eyes tighter, my breath quickening suddenly.
Fear was pounding through my very soul. The sweat that dribbled down my flesh suddenly seemed too much to bear, like heavy weights rushing down my body. I opened my eyes slowly. The eyes were gone, but the mocking laughter remained. It seemed so loud, vibrating around the walls to hit my ears like a hammer. My ears seemed to bleed from the sound.
The room seemed smaller then I remember. The walls seemed to be edging closer and closer. I pushed myself farther against the wall. Against my will I rose my eyes to the ceiling. It, too, was lower, swooping down to meet me. All I had to do was raise my head a little higher and my hair would touch it.
Not real...not real...not real...not real...none of this is real...its all in my head...all in my head...the room is wider...everything is okay. I could feel a sob fighting its way up my throat. It wasn't working. The room seemed to only be getting smaller.
There! What was that?! Footsteps...oh my god it was a footstep...so close too...in the other room...He wasn't masking his movements anymore. He wants me to *feel* him closing in. Meaning he knows just where I am but letting me have a false sense of security that maybe he *won't* find me. I know the trick, my own Yami had used it once or twice. I had to hide. Yes...but where?
I leaned down on all fours and crawled slowly across the room and into one of the doors away from where I'd heard the footsteps. Tenshi-chan had two exits to this room. One leading to hallway, the other into the kitchen. I crawled swiftly into the other room, trying to slow my rapid breathing. The ceiling seemed to be getting lower, my head bumped it as I went; it felt like the walls were trying to crush me too.
Not real...the rooms wider...focus, Malik, you got to get out of here unless you want to be skinned alive! I shook my head vigorously, forcing myself to imagine the room wider and the ceiling higher...it's all in my head...I opened my eyes and saw the room had returned to normal, though it was still bathed in a velvet darkness.
Comforted by this slight victory, no matter how small, I made my way toward the connecting hallway to the kitchen. I crawled slowly, freezing at even the sounds my mind envisioned. I suddenly realized the laughing from earlier had also stopped. Thank Ra. I wouldn't be able to hear Yami no Bakura's approach with my ears raw from the shadows attempt to drive what little sanity I've left into oblivion.
Nothing. Absolute silence. Still I waited. Yami no Bakura was a Tomb Robber in ancient Egypt (I'd gathered that much from the Pharaoh always yelling that as an insult when he saw him;) hiding from me, a mere mortal with no such training like him, would be an easy task. He'd apparently, according my Yami, had been the greatest Tomb Robber Egypt had ever seen. One doesn't gain that title by accident, you know.
All I saw was a blur of white and demonic diamond hard eyes before I was lifted up by my throat and thrown into the hallway. My back collided hard with the wood walls, my mind whirled and churned as I fell to the ground. I could taste blood in my mouth, all coppery and cold, like ice. I shut my eyes tight and fought through the agony tearing through my tender back. He'd thrown me onto it too many times to count already. I hurried to all fours and climbed quickly up the stairs. I heard the worst sound then. Yami no Bakura's icy laughter that seemed to echo all through the house. A laugh of pure amusement. This was all a game to him. A game of cat and mouse. Guess who's the mouse? That's right, me.
Raising myself up to my two feet I ran down the hall and into Tenshi-chan's room. I slammed the door in a frenzy of terror behind me and realized belatedly that Tenshi-chan's room had no lock. I cursed fervently beneath my breath as I searched with my eyes for any way to improvise while pressing my back hard into it. I wasn't going to open that door without a fight.
There! A chair! I nearly fainted with relief. I grabbed it quickly and wedged it beneath the doorknob before backing away slowly. Nothing. No pounding on it, no curses from the other side. Nothing. Just pure silence. This is what I'm talking about. My Yami would have been banging on the door by now. Trying to frighten me. That or would have tried to appeal to me in that voice. That voice of pure longing that none can resist. As though he would die if I did not respond, did not open the door.
But nothing. No sound from Yami no Bakura. He had beaten me, used and abused my body in the same manner as my Yami...but Yami no Bakura was like burning ice while my Yami was like a blazing inferno. Yami No Baura sat in the darkness and waited for his prey, giving them a brief respite before pulling it away. Making him more dangerous then my own. It's bad enough they're both crazy and love the feel of crimson across their hands, but they're smart too. Which didn't make my current situation any better.
I walked over to the bed and sat down, drawing my knees to my chest as I leaned against the wall the bed was propped against. It smelled of Tenshi-chan. The scent calmed me slightly, calmed the frantic beat of my heart. Tenshi-chan was different from anyone I had ever meet before, the fact that he was a hikari and dealt with a sadistic Yami like mine.
He...had always been there since we meet. Unlike any one else on this whole Ra forsaken planet, he'd listened and understood. I had bared everything to him, and not feared rejection. In a world of uncertainty...he was solid and there. Like Isis, he could calm my fears. Isis was gone now though. Yami didn't let me see her, the threat of her death should I violate the laws he had laid hung like a pendulum over my head.
Tenshi-chan was just that to me. An angel. Though he believed he had no light in him, that it was swallowed and consumed by the dark force who he shared his soul, I knew different. I could see it in his eyes. They weren't jaded like mine, an empty husk where no sort of purity really could dwell. He was different. Not naive as the Pharaoh's Hikari, how could he be anymore? But so very innocent in his own way. He had a light that couldn't be drowned, no matter what he thought.
"Hello Malik."
The voice was smooth and perfect, poison was laced in that deadly voice that jerked me from my reverie in an instant. The pure poison of its endless rapture shot through my ears. How did he get in here? How did he...? It was a useless thought. He was a Yami, the greatest Tomb Robber of all Egypt...and I was surprised he got into a room without my noticing? Stupid...so stupid of me...
He shoved me to the side and turned me roughly onto my back before straddling me by the hips before I could even raise my eyes to pinpoint his position in the room. His long spiky mane of white hair fell around my face as he stared into my eyes with cool indifference. No compassion laid in those eyes of cruel beauty, no kindness nor hate. Just pure uncaring. A smug pride perhaps, but that emotion always seeped from him. As though the game was useless to play because he'd already won. Maybe he was right about that. It was nearly impossible to win against the steely Yami that lay on top of me.
My breathing had hitched but I slowed it quickly to normal. Show fear and he'd pounce on it. I could squirm and let my tears rain through my mind as blinding terror swept through me like a hurricane later. Show any weak emotion and he'd pounce like a panther on the scent of blood of a wounded animal.
He tilted his head, sitting up straight on me as he stared down with his nose pointing at me. "I expected more of a challenge from Marik's Hikari, Malik," he said, his voice riveted with disproval, even a slight pout that a child would have when a game wasn't all it was made to be.
"Sorry to disappoint you," I replied dryly.
He laughed at my words. His eyes glittering with pleasure at my response. I felt a sudden fiery resolve not to me concurred by this dark force before me. Not to bow down at his will like I had countless times before with my own Yami. I didn't want to fall crumpled at his feet, to cower before him suddenly seemed so...wrong.
"And I expected more from the 'Greatest Tomb Robber' of Ancient Egypt," I said, twisting my lips into a smirk. "What is it you really want here, Bakura?" I watched his eyes narrow slightly as I had left off the respectable 'sama' to his name. "Do you want me to run around screaming when I see you? Fat chance."
He smirked, "Still have some spirit left, do you Hikari no Marik? Good...it makes this more fun."
"How did you get in here?" I looked carefully out of the corner of my eye at the door. The chair was still propped against the doorknob.
He grinned. "I was already in here. You need to exercise, Malik. You were too slow getting up those stairs. I didn't throw you *that* hard," he said, his voice had taken a sort of mocking reprimanding tone.
"What is the point of all this, Bakura? Why are you and my Yami going through all this trouble? Don't you think the Pharaoh will notice what's going on here eventually and banish your Ra-forsaken soul to the Shadow Realm?" I spat the words harshly, keeping my face a mask of defiance instead of the fear that was quaking through my mind.
There was one advantage to having Yami no Bakura as my current 'yami' more or less: he couldn't read my mind, feel my emotions, transverse through my memories to know my deepest fears and desire. Oh sure, he can create scenes of torment and see how I react to try and figure them out, but he can't just automatically know them like my own Yami. A very, very small advantage yes...but it was all I had.
The Sennen Ring felt like ice through Tenshi-chan's thin t-shirt. Heavy and cold around my neck, like an ever hanging weight to prove my servitude to the Yami before me and my own. I found myself missing the smooth gold Sennen Rod. It was mine, it housed a psycho but it was still mine. The Yami before me wasn't mine. My soul ached, crying out in agony for the other half that was truly mine.
Yami no Bakura's presence soothed the never ending screams...but they didn't subdue them. Not like my Yami did. They were both horrible, cruel, evil in every way possible and had abused both Tenshi-chan and I in more ways then one...but they were still our Yamis. They were still the other halve to our soul.
And as much as I loathed to admit it...I love him. I love my Yami more then anything in the world. But at the same time I hate him so much I'd kill the son-of-a-bitch if I thought I had half a chance. Just as I'd kill the white haired demon on me if I knew it wouldn't kill my Tenshi-chan. Yami no Bakura slid off of me suddenly, lying next to me on the bed instead.
He smiled at me, running a finger down my face. His face had changed to one of sincere curiosity, of open love and undying devotion, of caring. His hair seemed softer, and the lines of his face seemed less harsh and sadistic. For a single second I found myself half believing that Yami no Bakura had left and my beloved Tenshi-chan lay next to me.
I won't deny that I love Tenshi-chan as more then a brother, but as a lover. I had for the longest time. But while we may share each other's pain and fears, we can never truly be together. For reasons I'll never truly understand he has feelings for the Pharaoh. I won't deny that I don't like the Pharaoh at all.
Something about him...it's always rubbed me the wrong way. Or maybe it's because my Yami hates him so much or maybe it's a sort of twisted jealously that he doesn't treat Yuugi the way Yami no Bakura and my Yami treat us. I don't know. Or maybe I hate him because he captured Tenshi-chan's heart in a way that I could not. It doesn't really matter though.
Yami no Bakura...or was it Ryou?...touched my face. Softly, almost revertly...as though seeing me for the very first time. His eyes...they didn't seem so hard now...but so open. Not filled with innocence...but something else...something I couldn't even describe. He leaned forward and kissed me.
Lightening shot through my senses, a desire I held back for the real Tenshi-chan crashing through me like the waves of pure unbridled passion. It wasn't like any kiss I'd ever experienced. No lust, no demands, nothing...but giving. Sweet and light, giving not taking. I reached up and took his face in my hands, diving into the kiss with all my might.
His hands wrapped around me, slipping halfway beneath the shirt and onto my skin. I felt like I was on fire, the single innocent kiss turned my mind and soul, teared and rebuilt me in ways one cannot truly understand. I didn't want this moment of peace to end. I was devouring his mouth, moving to be on top of the silver haired vixen.
His lips...I couldn't get enough of them. Sweet like the flames of hell, with a touch of heaven no one can ever grasp. Intimacy beyond intimacy, love beyond anything was firing through my senses. I'd never felt like this. So in control yet out of control. His tongue shot through my mouth, tasting and teaseling.
Suddenly the touch turned more dominate, more aggressive and I found myself pinned beneath him. All at once subtle differences began to make themselves known. Tenshi-chan wasn't this muscled, and he was moving with experience I damn well knew he didn't really have. Like me, he'd always been the submissive one to his Yami's touch. Never the opposite. So why the sudden change?
A sharp pain. Blood. In my mouth. Coppery and hot, bittersweet to my senses.
YAMI NO BAKURA!!
The thought was sudden and stabbed through my soul like a rusty knife. With all my strength I wrestled my face away from his, staring up with hurt eyes. So he knew. Knew of my feelings for his Hikari and had used them against me in a sick sort of game.
He smiled at me, his sharp teeth glinting in the blue light cast by the moon, "What's wrong, Malik?"
"You had no right..."
He laughed harshly, "I have every right, don't you know that? Ryou is my Hikari, and you like him don't you? You can't have him without having me, Malik. We are one."
"By some sick twist of fate," I retorted.
"I'm losing patience with you, Malik. You don't want to try the rack so soon again do you?"
All at once the rebellion seemed to fall away from me. All the strength, all the defiance just wasted away.
"No," I said softly, my voice lacking its earlier strength.
Oh what a weakling I've become. Buckling underneath this dark angel of hell. Bowing my head so as not to feel more pain. Never daring to hope for anything better. Why hope when it just come back to bite you square in the ass?
"Good," he purred.
His lips were on me again. Pliant and firm. I didn't resist. His hands slipped beneath Tenshi-chan's shirt and twisted and teased my nipples until I couldn't deny the sprout of pleasure that started to ease through me. Why resist? It only brought pain. And no matter what may come after this, at least I have this moment of peace. Of pleasure in this dark misery.
And if I close my eyes just tight enough, I can pretend that it's someone else whose hands are upon me. As though sensing my thoughts I felt a sharp sting across my face that forced me to open my eyes. I could feel crimson dribbling through my mouth from the blow, my cheek stinging. I rose my eyes to take in Yami no Bakura's expression. Fury.
"Never do that again."
I knew what he meant and I nodded slightly. Resistance is futile, why attempt any more? Better to give in. Yami no Bakura and my Yami are my masters. I am here because of them, I am their slave. The thought held so much shame and self-loathing for allowing myself to sink this low. To crumble beneath them. To lean into the hand that had beaten me into an inch of my life and then some.
But they are darkness, purest of the pure. Children of the seamless darkness. Kindness and light, compassion and caring...those are things they do not know and thus hate. Destruction, death, pain, searing white-hot agony and power are all they know and can understand. They love the scent of crimson across their face, cries of the purest torture are music to their ears. A Hikari is all sweetness and light, it is our nature to shy from the things that our Yamis so love.
The thought gave a sort of blinding clarity to the situation I was in. Yami no Bakura's kisses were so desperate because I was a Hikari like his own. Because in me I still held those abilities that only a Hikari has. The light that isn't all that drowned the cruelness that they shower us with. By the dark cloak they'd thrown over us to hide us from the world.
They love because they hate us.
We love them because they're everything we've ever wanted.
We can be torn from each other, but Ra knows we'll spend all of eternity trying to find each other again. Because, like it or not, we're meant for each other. We're all each other know. We're all each of us want. My yami abuses me, tears my hair and rips my flesh until I'm nothing but a bloody mess.
But he's also brought me soup when I was sick. Cuddled me when my body was wracking with the chills the sickness had bestowed. He's destroyed the soul of any who dare to hurt me. Including my father. I loved my father and hated him. Not how I hate my Yami but in a different way. A pure hatred that begged for him to die.
I hate my Yami, but I don't want to lose him. Because I know that being without him would be far worse then being *with* him. I'm a Hikari. I may not be as naive as Yuugi-kun, or as sweetly innocent as Tenshi-chan...but I am still a Hikari. And like those two, to be without my Yami would do worse then kill me. It'd tear my soul beyond comparison... in ways that even a Yami cannot fully imagine.
I could feel my hands roaming Yami no Bakura's chest. He was being gentler then he had been earlier. Giving me pleasure just as he gave himself some. I kissed him then without care, feeling a single tear make its way down my face.
The faces in the shadows were laughing at me again. Laughing at the pathetic whore I had become in the arms of sprit of the Sennen Ring. It was bad enough when I was just my Yami's whore...now I'm my Yami's best friend's whore too. Though to be fair, I feel more sorry for Tenshi-chan right now. Ra knows he's going through the same hell as me.
I tasted blood in my mouth as Yami no Bakura bit my bottom lip to gain access to my mouth. I welcomed him in. There was no point to resist. He'd get what he wanted either way. At least if I gave in, I wouldn't get hurt anymore. I didn't want to go back on the wrack. My back is still aching from being whipped with that five-tailed whip from Osiris that he'd used on me yesterday.
Only a couple of the wounds were deep enough to scar and were still burning like fire, but I'd used Tenshi-chan's pain-relieving ointment yesterday and today so I couldn't really feel the pain anymore. I couldn't feel much of anything one any level really. It was like I was disconnected from my body.
So I let go. I let myself be dragged into the endless abyss of darkness in this Yami's embrace.
Until I had lost myself in his deep night like I had countless times before with my own Yami....
A.n.-'n' we stop there. What did ya all think? I hope ya'all liked it...review onegai n' tell me what ya thought! ^_^_^
And Marsdemon, I'm happy that you like my work so much^_^. I hope this chappie quenches your addiction^_~. Ty again:)
And...guess I did make Marik a lil' sadistic, ne?^_^ Well...after seeing him in a few jap eps and ours...he kinda strikes me as bein' sorta sadistic...I'm happy I did his char justice!^_^ Ty everyone!^_^
Also, to those of you who asked why Bakura-chan wasn't upset about Marik raping Ryou-chan and went into a murderous rage whenever Yugioh held him...you'll find out when I manage to whip out another Bakura-chan p.o.v^_~
'N' to all of you reading Dark Flame...the next chappie is comin' very soon; as for the next chapter to "Without You"...will be posted not long after this. Probably about ten minutes afterward...so...here it comes^_^
Dedication-R_Amythest, Chibi-Ai, Gues, Chibi_Ai, Fyredra, Irssatin, Draggy, Marsdemon, Thockie, Crossover Authoress, Winged Wolf, Yaoifan, Millenium Elf, Yami no Hikari, Shitsumon, and Hotaruchan27. Arigato all of you!!^_^_^_^I was sooo happy when I read all of your reviews! I promise not to make ya'all wait so long again for the next chappie to this!
"I cannot take this anymore, saying everything I said before
All these words they make no sense I found this in ignorance
Less I hear, the less you say...you'll find that out anyway
Just like before..."
"Everything you say to me, takes me one step closer to the edge and I'm about to break
I need a little room to pray, 'cause I'm one step closer to the edge I'm about to break,"
"I find the answers are so clear, wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense, I found this in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away over and over again...just like before."
"Somewhere I belong…" Linkin Park
He's worse then my Yami.
At least I can *feel* when my Yami is near, when his murderous rage has begun to build and I need to run like a bat out of hell. But not Yami no Bakura. His eyes...those hard chocolate brown eyes with the color of blood simmering near the pupil never give way to what he's thinking. He lets me wander through the house, watching me with those demonic eyes of his.
The fear is quaking in me. Yami no Bakura knows that pain doesn't bother me. I don't like it, but I have a high tolerance for it. And to compensate for that he's decided to try to drive me even further out of my friggin' MIND! I breathed slowly as I curled up tighter in the small, cramped corner of the living room.
Like Tenshi-chan, I don't like the dark. I hate being surrounded in its suffocating hold, but I can't risk being in the light. He'll find me way to easy then. I walked away from my Yami thinking I could handle whatever Yami no Bakura threw at me; that I had nothing to worry about unlike Tenshi-chan. I was wrong. So very wrong. And now my mind instead of my body pays the price. Ra damn it! He's driving me INSANE! Or was I already crazy? I don't know...don't know...don't know...every thing is so muddled and confused...
Wait! What was that sound?! It creaked...somewhere...near me, yes near me. Close to the staircase in the other room. I pulled my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around them. I grimaced at the squeak my feet made across the floor. Just bloody brilliant Malik! What, do you want that sadistic bastard to find you or what?!
I tried so slow my rapid breathing, it was too loud...he'd surely hear. I was safe...for the moment...I couldn't let him find...can't let him find me...I chewed on my nail nervously, letting my platinum blonde hair to fall around my face. I was dressed in a pair of Tenshi-chan's loose khaki pants and one of his spare t-shirts. My clothes had been ripped and bloodied so many times that all was left was rags. And I'll be damned before I walk around in rags like *his* slave. Oh wait, I am damned...I'm stuck with psycho for a Yami and a sadistic tomb robber driveling me up the freakin' wall! I'm already in HELL!
Breathe, Malik...breathe...breathe...in out...in and out...yeah...think...think about good things...yes, happy things...
Like...the first time I really meet Tenshi-chan. Yami no Bakura and my Yami were off arguing in the other room of the house...and it was here...in this room we first met. Tenshi-chan had been cleaning up some broken glass, from a vase his Yami had thrown at his head. Crimson had been running down the side of his face, his long slender fingers bathing in blood as the shards cut into his flesh.
I remember...yes, I'd kneeled down and helped him pick it up. He'd looked up at me, into my eyes with such...innocence. An innocence I felt I had lost a very long time ago. To my Yami. When I learned just what malice and cruelty really meant. When I meet my own personal version of the devil who oh so wonderfully had been joined to my very soul.
He'd known just as I had when I'd seen him through my Yami's eyes (he let me watch when he was in control some times, not often but once in a while) that I was a hikari. That we were alike, bonded together through violence and pure undying cruelty. We became close - our Yami's didn't really care. The closer we were, the more they didn't have to worry about Yuugi and the others getting curious about why we spent so much time together. See no evil, hear no evil. I heard that somewhere, though I can't recall where...see no evil, hear no evil...
I wrapped my arms tighter around myself. The darkness around me seemed to have taken shapes, menacing cruel shapes. Eyes of hardened chips of lavender seemed to glare at me with eyes of a glossy evil brownish red. My heartbeat jumped several notches. Laughter seemed to resonate around me. I shut my eyes tighter, my breath quickening suddenly.
Fear was pounding through my very soul. The sweat that dribbled down my flesh suddenly seemed too much to bear, like heavy weights rushing down my body. I opened my eyes slowly. The eyes were gone, but the mocking laughter remained. It seemed so loud, vibrating around the walls to hit my ears like a hammer. My ears seemed to bleed from the sound.
The room seemed smaller then I remember. The walls seemed to be edging closer and closer. I pushed myself farther against the wall. Against my will I rose my eyes to the ceiling. It, too, was lower, swooping down to meet me. All I had to do was raise my head a little higher and my hair would touch it.
Not real...not real...not real...not real...none of this is real...its all in my head...all in my head...the room is wider...everything is okay. I could feel a sob fighting its way up my throat. It wasn't working. The room seemed to only be getting smaller.
There! What was that?! Footsteps...oh my god it was a footstep...so close too...in the other room...He wasn't masking his movements anymore. He wants me to *feel* him closing in. Meaning he knows just where I am but letting me have a false sense of security that maybe he *won't* find me. I know the trick, my own Yami had used it once or twice. I had to hide. Yes...but where?
I leaned down on all fours and crawled slowly across the room and into one of the doors away from where I'd heard the footsteps. Tenshi-chan had two exits to this room. One leading to hallway, the other into the kitchen. I crawled swiftly into the other room, trying to slow my rapid breathing. The ceiling seemed to be getting lower, my head bumped it as I went; it felt like the walls were trying to crush me too.
Not real...the rooms wider...focus, Malik, you got to get out of here unless you want to be skinned alive! I shook my head vigorously, forcing myself to imagine the room wider and the ceiling higher...it's all in my head...I opened my eyes and saw the room had returned to normal, though it was still bathed in a velvet darkness.
Comforted by this slight victory, no matter how small, I made my way toward the connecting hallway to the kitchen. I crawled slowly, freezing at even the sounds my mind envisioned. I suddenly realized the laughing from earlier had also stopped. Thank Ra. I wouldn't be able to hear Yami no Bakura's approach with my ears raw from the shadows attempt to drive what little sanity I've left into oblivion.
Nothing. Absolute silence. Still I waited. Yami no Bakura was a Tomb Robber in ancient Egypt (I'd gathered that much from the Pharaoh always yelling that as an insult when he saw him;) hiding from me, a mere mortal with no such training like him, would be an easy task. He'd apparently, according my Yami, had been the greatest Tomb Robber Egypt had ever seen. One doesn't gain that title by accident, you know.
All I saw was a blur of white and demonic diamond hard eyes before I was lifted up by my throat and thrown into the hallway. My back collided hard with the wood walls, my mind whirled and churned as I fell to the ground. I could taste blood in my mouth, all coppery and cold, like ice. I shut my eyes tight and fought through the agony tearing through my tender back. He'd thrown me onto it too many times to count already. I hurried to all fours and climbed quickly up the stairs. I heard the worst sound then. Yami no Bakura's icy laughter that seemed to echo all through the house. A laugh of pure amusement. This was all a game to him. A game of cat and mouse. Guess who's the mouse? That's right, me.
Raising myself up to my two feet I ran down the hall and into Tenshi-chan's room. I slammed the door in a frenzy of terror behind me and realized belatedly that Tenshi-chan's room had no lock. I cursed fervently beneath my breath as I searched with my eyes for any way to improvise while pressing my back hard into it. I wasn't going to open that door without a fight.
There! A chair! I nearly fainted with relief. I grabbed it quickly and wedged it beneath the doorknob before backing away slowly. Nothing. No pounding on it, no curses from the other side. Nothing. Just pure silence. This is what I'm talking about. My Yami would have been banging on the door by now. Trying to frighten me. That or would have tried to appeal to me in that voice. That voice of pure longing that none can resist. As though he would die if I did not respond, did not open the door.
But nothing. No sound from Yami no Bakura. He had beaten me, used and abused my body in the same manner as my Yami...but Yami no Bakura was like burning ice while my Yami was like a blazing inferno. Yami No Baura sat in the darkness and waited for his prey, giving them a brief respite before pulling it away. Making him more dangerous then my own. It's bad enough they're both crazy and love the feel of crimson across their hands, but they're smart too. Which didn't make my current situation any better.
I walked over to the bed and sat down, drawing my knees to my chest as I leaned against the wall the bed was propped against. It smelled of Tenshi-chan. The scent calmed me slightly, calmed the frantic beat of my heart. Tenshi-chan was different from anyone I had ever meet before, the fact that he was a hikari and dealt with a sadistic Yami like mine.
He...had always been there since we meet. Unlike any one else on this whole Ra forsaken planet, he'd listened and understood. I had bared everything to him, and not feared rejection. In a world of uncertainty...he was solid and there. Like Isis, he could calm my fears. Isis was gone now though. Yami didn't let me see her, the threat of her death should I violate the laws he had laid hung like a pendulum over my head.
Tenshi-chan was just that to me. An angel. Though he believed he had no light in him, that it was swallowed and consumed by the dark force who he shared his soul, I knew different. I could see it in his eyes. They weren't jaded like mine, an empty husk where no sort of purity really could dwell. He was different. Not naive as the Pharaoh's Hikari, how could he be anymore? But so very innocent in his own way. He had a light that couldn't be drowned, no matter what he thought.
"Hello Malik."
The voice was smooth and perfect, poison was laced in that deadly voice that jerked me from my reverie in an instant. The pure poison of its endless rapture shot through my ears. How did he get in here? How did he...? It was a useless thought. He was a Yami, the greatest Tomb Robber of all Egypt...and I was surprised he got into a room without my noticing? Stupid...so stupid of me...
He shoved me to the side and turned me roughly onto my back before straddling me by the hips before I could even raise my eyes to pinpoint his position in the room. His long spiky mane of white hair fell around my face as he stared into my eyes with cool indifference. No compassion laid in those eyes of cruel beauty, no kindness nor hate. Just pure uncaring. A smug pride perhaps, but that emotion always seeped from him. As though the game was useless to play because he'd already won. Maybe he was right about that. It was nearly impossible to win against the steely Yami that lay on top of me.
My breathing had hitched but I slowed it quickly to normal. Show fear and he'd pounce on it. I could squirm and let my tears rain through my mind as blinding terror swept through me like a hurricane later. Show any weak emotion and he'd pounce like a panther on the scent of blood of a wounded animal.
He tilted his head, sitting up straight on me as he stared down with his nose pointing at me. "I expected more of a challenge from Marik's Hikari, Malik," he said, his voice riveted with disproval, even a slight pout that a child would have when a game wasn't all it was made to be.
"Sorry to disappoint you," I replied dryly.
He laughed at my words. His eyes glittering with pleasure at my response. I felt a sudden fiery resolve not to me concurred by this dark force before me. Not to bow down at his will like I had countless times before with my own Yami. I didn't want to fall crumpled at his feet, to cower before him suddenly seemed so...wrong.
"And I expected more from the 'Greatest Tomb Robber' of Ancient Egypt," I said, twisting my lips into a smirk. "What is it you really want here, Bakura?" I watched his eyes narrow slightly as I had left off the respectable 'sama' to his name. "Do you want me to run around screaming when I see you? Fat chance."
He smirked, "Still have some spirit left, do you Hikari no Marik? Good...it makes this more fun."
"How did you get in here?" I looked carefully out of the corner of my eye at the door. The chair was still propped against the doorknob.
He grinned. "I was already in here. You need to exercise, Malik. You were too slow getting up those stairs. I didn't throw you *that* hard," he said, his voice had taken a sort of mocking reprimanding tone.
"What is the point of all this, Bakura? Why are you and my Yami going through all this trouble? Don't you think the Pharaoh will notice what's going on here eventually and banish your Ra-forsaken soul to the Shadow Realm?" I spat the words harshly, keeping my face a mask of defiance instead of the fear that was quaking through my mind.
There was one advantage to having Yami no Bakura as my current 'yami' more or less: he couldn't read my mind, feel my emotions, transverse through my memories to know my deepest fears and desire. Oh sure, he can create scenes of torment and see how I react to try and figure them out, but he can't just automatically know them like my own Yami. A very, very small advantage yes...but it was all I had.
The Sennen Ring felt like ice through Tenshi-chan's thin t-shirt. Heavy and cold around my neck, like an ever hanging weight to prove my servitude to the Yami before me and my own. I found myself missing the smooth gold Sennen Rod. It was mine, it housed a psycho but it was still mine. The Yami before me wasn't mine. My soul ached, crying out in agony for the other half that was truly mine.
Yami no Bakura's presence soothed the never ending screams...but they didn't subdue them. Not like my Yami did. They were both horrible, cruel, evil in every way possible and had abused both Tenshi-chan and I in more ways then one...but they were still our Yamis. They were still the other halve to our soul.
And as much as I loathed to admit it...I love him. I love my Yami more then anything in the world. But at the same time I hate him so much I'd kill the son-of-a-bitch if I thought I had half a chance. Just as I'd kill the white haired demon on me if I knew it wouldn't kill my Tenshi-chan. Yami no Bakura slid off of me suddenly, lying next to me on the bed instead.
He smiled at me, running a finger down my face. His face had changed to one of sincere curiosity, of open love and undying devotion, of caring. His hair seemed softer, and the lines of his face seemed less harsh and sadistic. For a single second I found myself half believing that Yami no Bakura had left and my beloved Tenshi-chan lay next to me.
I won't deny that I love Tenshi-chan as more then a brother, but as a lover. I had for the longest time. But while we may share each other's pain and fears, we can never truly be together. For reasons I'll never truly understand he has feelings for the Pharaoh. I won't deny that I don't like the Pharaoh at all.
Something about him...it's always rubbed me the wrong way. Or maybe it's because my Yami hates him so much or maybe it's a sort of twisted jealously that he doesn't treat Yuugi the way Yami no Bakura and my Yami treat us. I don't know. Or maybe I hate him because he captured Tenshi-chan's heart in a way that I could not. It doesn't really matter though.
Yami no Bakura...or was it Ryou?...touched my face. Softly, almost revertly...as though seeing me for the very first time. His eyes...they didn't seem so hard now...but so open. Not filled with innocence...but something else...something I couldn't even describe. He leaned forward and kissed me.
Lightening shot through my senses, a desire I held back for the real Tenshi-chan crashing through me like the waves of pure unbridled passion. It wasn't like any kiss I'd ever experienced. No lust, no demands, nothing...but giving. Sweet and light, giving not taking. I reached up and took his face in my hands, diving into the kiss with all my might.
His hands wrapped around me, slipping halfway beneath the shirt and onto my skin. I felt like I was on fire, the single innocent kiss turned my mind and soul, teared and rebuilt me in ways one cannot truly understand. I didn't want this moment of peace to end. I was devouring his mouth, moving to be on top of the silver haired vixen.
His lips...I couldn't get enough of them. Sweet like the flames of hell, with a touch of heaven no one can ever grasp. Intimacy beyond intimacy, love beyond anything was firing through my senses. I'd never felt like this. So in control yet out of control. His tongue shot through my mouth, tasting and teaseling.
Suddenly the touch turned more dominate, more aggressive and I found myself pinned beneath him. All at once subtle differences began to make themselves known. Tenshi-chan wasn't this muscled, and he was moving with experience I damn well knew he didn't really have. Like me, he'd always been the submissive one to his Yami's touch. Never the opposite. So why the sudden change?
A sharp pain. Blood. In my mouth. Coppery and hot, bittersweet to my senses.
YAMI NO BAKURA!!
The thought was sudden and stabbed through my soul like a rusty knife. With all my strength I wrestled my face away from his, staring up with hurt eyes. So he knew. Knew of my feelings for his Hikari and had used them against me in a sick sort of game.
He smiled at me, his sharp teeth glinting in the blue light cast by the moon, "What's wrong, Malik?"
"You had no right..."
He laughed harshly, "I have every right, don't you know that? Ryou is my Hikari, and you like him don't you? You can't have him without having me, Malik. We are one."
"By some sick twist of fate," I retorted.
"I'm losing patience with you, Malik. You don't want to try the rack so soon again do you?"
All at once the rebellion seemed to fall away from me. All the strength, all the defiance just wasted away.
"No," I said softly, my voice lacking its earlier strength.
Oh what a weakling I've become. Buckling underneath this dark angel of hell. Bowing my head so as not to feel more pain. Never daring to hope for anything better. Why hope when it just come back to bite you square in the ass?
"Good," he purred.
His lips were on me again. Pliant and firm. I didn't resist. His hands slipped beneath Tenshi-chan's shirt and twisted and teased my nipples until I couldn't deny the sprout of pleasure that started to ease through me. Why resist? It only brought pain. And no matter what may come after this, at least I have this moment of peace. Of pleasure in this dark misery.
And if I close my eyes just tight enough, I can pretend that it's someone else whose hands are upon me. As though sensing my thoughts I felt a sharp sting across my face that forced me to open my eyes. I could feel crimson dribbling through my mouth from the blow, my cheek stinging. I rose my eyes to take in Yami no Bakura's expression. Fury.
"Never do that again."
I knew what he meant and I nodded slightly. Resistance is futile, why attempt any more? Better to give in. Yami no Bakura and my Yami are my masters. I am here because of them, I am their slave. The thought held so much shame and self-loathing for allowing myself to sink this low. To crumble beneath them. To lean into the hand that had beaten me into an inch of my life and then some.
But they are darkness, purest of the pure. Children of the seamless darkness. Kindness and light, compassion and caring...those are things they do not know and thus hate. Destruction, death, pain, searing white-hot agony and power are all they know and can understand. They love the scent of crimson across their face, cries of the purest torture are music to their ears. A Hikari is all sweetness and light, it is our nature to shy from the things that our Yamis so love.
The thought gave a sort of blinding clarity to the situation I was in. Yami no Bakura's kisses were so desperate because I was a Hikari like his own. Because in me I still held those abilities that only a Hikari has. The light that isn't all that drowned the cruelness that they shower us with. By the dark cloak they'd thrown over us to hide us from the world.
They love because they hate us.
We love them because they're everything we've ever wanted.
We can be torn from each other, but Ra knows we'll spend all of eternity trying to find each other again. Because, like it or not, we're meant for each other. We're all each other know. We're all each of us want. My yami abuses me, tears my hair and rips my flesh until I'm nothing but a bloody mess.
But he's also brought me soup when I was sick. Cuddled me when my body was wracking with the chills the sickness had bestowed. He's destroyed the soul of any who dare to hurt me. Including my father. I loved my father and hated him. Not how I hate my Yami but in a different way. A pure hatred that begged for him to die.
I hate my Yami, but I don't want to lose him. Because I know that being without him would be far worse then being *with* him. I'm a Hikari. I may not be as naive as Yuugi-kun, or as sweetly innocent as Tenshi-chan...but I am still a Hikari. And like those two, to be without my Yami would do worse then kill me. It'd tear my soul beyond comparison... in ways that even a Yami cannot fully imagine.
I could feel my hands roaming Yami no Bakura's chest. He was being gentler then he had been earlier. Giving me pleasure just as he gave himself some. I kissed him then without care, feeling a single tear make its way down my face.
The faces in the shadows were laughing at me again. Laughing at the pathetic whore I had become in the arms of sprit of the Sennen Ring. It was bad enough when I was just my Yami's whore...now I'm my Yami's best friend's whore too. Though to be fair, I feel more sorry for Tenshi-chan right now. Ra knows he's going through the same hell as me.
I tasted blood in my mouth as Yami no Bakura bit my bottom lip to gain access to my mouth. I welcomed him in. There was no point to resist. He'd get what he wanted either way. At least if I gave in, I wouldn't get hurt anymore. I didn't want to go back on the wrack. My back is still aching from being whipped with that five-tailed whip from Osiris that he'd used on me yesterday.
Only a couple of the wounds were deep enough to scar and were still burning like fire, but I'd used Tenshi-chan's pain-relieving ointment yesterday and today so I couldn't really feel the pain anymore. I couldn't feel much of anything one any level really. It was like I was disconnected from my body.
So I let go. I let myself be dragged into the endless abyss of darkness in this Yami's embrace.
Until I had lost myself in his deep night like I had countless times before with my own Yami....
A.n.-'n' we stop there. What did ya all think? I hope ya'all liked it...review onegai n' tell me what ya thought! ^_^_^