Thank you so much for your reviews!!!!
beegirl: Aw, thank you! I loved writing that chapter, and I think it's a (this isn't ego...) personal best for me. Particularly the last half of the chapter. Anywho, thank you so much again, and I'll see ya next week!
JagSister: Hey there! Aw, thank you! Yeah, I read your next chapter and reviewed! I was just tickled pink when I saw it was up!! Thank you again, and see ya next week!!!
Pissed Off Poet: Well, since Grace's "real last name" can't be revealed, and Harm's "adopted" her, she would take his last name. Everyone knew of her "situation with the CIA." I loved writing those last couple scenes, it was a lot of fun, and saddening. I knew from the beginning that Singer wasn't going to survive, but I wanted her to be thought of as a person before she died. Thank you, I love Fridays as well!!! :D See ya next week!!!
AngelQueen: Aw, thank you! That chapter was a blast to write, and I was a little nervous about the court scene. I'm still don't totally like that scene, but, oh well. Thank you again, and see ya next week!!! Yes, send much luck to the computer doctor!!!
Prillygirl: Well, since everybody found out about the affair, I figured since Ted is such a chicken, he'd skip town, but his wife instead got all huffy. I thought it would be an interesting twist instead of Ted killing her. Thank you so much...see ya next week!!
e-dog: Aw, thank you! Those last couple scenes were difficult to write, but I just tried to place myself in Grace's shoes, and try to figure out how she would react to all this. I'm glad it came out good! :D LOL, personally, I *loved* the metaphor Mac used with the baby and everything, so thank you for noticing!!! LoL, yes, 200!!! LOL, and look! You're lucky (again) number ~*220*~ on the review list!! THANK YOU (again), E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
NadaZimri: LoL, no I wasn't kidding. I really wanted everyone to look at Singer as a real human, and then I figured it would be more sorrowful if she died. I hope I accomplished the sorrow part! :D LoL, okay, lemme be honest with u, I wrote the last 4000 words yesterday afternoon... 8^| ....so I did it kinda fast. When I uploaded it and looked the chapter over, I noticed a bunch of little mistakes, but by that time, I was too tired and didn't feel like re-loading it :D, bad me, I know...lol, thanks again! See ya next week! Yes, and send lots of luck to the computer doctor!!!!
NavyCB: Thank you very much! "WoW" is good!!! :D Thank you for coming back, and see ya next week!!!!!
Deb: Heehee, it is going to be interesting. The start of this chapter is the cops taking a report. Thank you for reading and see ya next week!!
Mimmi: Aw, Mimmi, you're gonna make me cry, dang it! :D Thank you so much. I really wanted to show that Singer was a person who cared about other things beside herself. I thought it would make her death more dramatic, which the other reviewers are telling me it is. Oh, thank you for such nice comments, it makes me feel so good!!! Heehee, yes, send much luck to the computer doctor! Oh, and I used the title of that chapter from David Mathew's song, "Gravedigger." If you've heard it, you'll know what I mean. Anywho, thank you again, and I'll see ya next week!!!
Harm-n-Mac Shipper: Aw, thank you! I really wanted to make Singer into a real person, so that we could mourn a little bit, I thought it would be more dramatic, so thank you :D. And writing the last couple scenes was, I don't wanna say fun, because it was sad, but it felt really good, if that makes any sense, lol. Thank you again, and I'll see ya next week. :)
Hazel: Thank you! It was very interesting to write, and the hug at the end I could picture in my mind and I'm just like, "awww" as I was writing it, LoL. Thank you and see ya next week!!!
jagchick105: LoL, you could never bore me, jag!!! :D Omg, really? How did you get involved with the mock lawyer stuff, that sounds *so* cool??? And you met a real JAG lawyer once? WOW!!! Omg, and you do mock trials? That's awesome!!!!! What kind of trials have you done??? This is blowing me away, it sounds like so much fun! Ohhhmygosh, the court scene was so hard to write. I kept deleting stuff, adding, deleting, changing, switching around, and then I finally went..."you know what, the heck with it, this is the best I can do." So thank you so much though, that really boosted my confidence! LoL, that little scene in the break room was one of my favorites! Glad you liked it too! Aw, thank you. Writing the Singer scene took a lot out of me and I was physically exhausted after doing that, so thank you for saying that, it makes it all worth it. ;) Oh, geeze, I just got done watching "A Merry Little Christmas." Wasn't that episode wild?? I was like, there's no way the father could get custody, he's a drunk! And it totally shocked me when they said they would place Mattie in a foster home and all that, but the ending was very sweet. LoL, yeah, that's good for having a birthday right after xmas. I've used that tactic quite a few times (forgetting something at xmas then getting it for my birthday). It works well! :D LOL, oh! oh! I want Harm for my birthday too!!! *giggles* Ah, anywho, thank you again SOOOO much, and I'll see ya next week!!!!!
DD2: Haha! Thank you! I can't believe I did that either, lol!!! See ya next week!!!
carby24/7: LoL, thank you! Writing the court scene was very difficult, and I halted writing the chapter for two days trying to figure out how to make it come out half-decent. I'm so glad you liked it! LoL, I was thinking that 16 years down the road, reality television would've probably faded away and seeing how risqué television already is, I can't imagine what they let in front of the camera several years from now. Thank you for taking notice of that, ;) LoL, oh, I wish I could write twenty more chapters! My estimation was off a little bit. There will be this aftermath chapter, then the two-part conclusion. LoL....you'll pay me money, eh?? Hmmm *taps chin*... :D .....I absolutely loved the last scene, with the hug, and it's probably my favorite out of the whole story, so thank you. And thank you again, your continued support means so much to me, :D. See you next week.
Chloe: Thank you! Yes, there will absolutely be a scene with Grace and Eric workin' things out. See ya next week! Ah! And look! You're lucky number ~*230*~ on the review list! *does happy dance* THANK YOU, CHLOE!!!!!!
Nikole1025: Aww, *hands Kleenex*...lol, boy would I love for this to be a real episode!! :D Thank you for reading, and see ya next week!!
ArwenUndomiel: LoL, I know, and the chapter was going to be even longer and then this chapter was going to be part one of my two-part conclusion, but I was so physically exhausted when I was done writing chapter 9, that I just couldn't do anymore. So you can an extra chapter here, then the two-part conclusion (and perhaps and epilogue or even a sequel, who knows!). LoL, I've always despised Singer, but I couldn't pass up the drama her death would bring to this story. And yes, Grace is going to have to get through some tough times with all this. LOL, okay, wait until the next chapter, and I will all the harm/mac shippers will be *very* happy, okay? :D LoL, and all your reviews are always inspiring!! Oh, All Ye Faithful was a good episode! LoL, and memorizing it isn't too wacky, I've done that before when I've had JAG withdrawal (u know, the channel that shows reruns instead shows some golf tournament for a whole week *rolls eyes*). But I can't imagine what you're going through! How many weeks has it been??? Thank again, Erin, and see ya next week!!!!
Pennithil: Bah! Time restrictions stink! :D But thank you for telling me ya luv it!!! See ya next week!!!!!!
motormouth: Aw, thank you! I thought it would be more interesting if the wife came after her instead of Lindsey. Does Singer live?....*solemnly shakes head*.....lol, hey thank you for sending your best wishes to my computer, ;)
Moonlights Sundance: Heh, yup, she still dies. I thought it would be too, you know, a predictable ending to that part if Grace saved her. Yeah, Grace has some tough roads ahead as you'll see in this chappy. Thank you for coming back!!!! See ya next week!!!!
Cassie: Heh, well, yeah, fate is an interesting thing. We'll see fate at more work in the next chapter too! LoL, I couldn't help but stick somethin' in there about reality television and I just though, "hm, Newlyweds, that would be funny." Thank you!!!! See ya next week!!!!!
MarineJAG: Thank you! LoL, I'll always have the chance to finish this! ;) see ya next week!
Maggie: LOL, thank you! WOW is very good!!!! I thought it would be different to have his wife kill Singer instead of Lindsey. And it would add more salt to Grace's wound as well (poor girl, the things I do to her…:D). Thank you very much, and see ya next week!!!
CharmedMummy: Hey there! LoL, cliffhangers are fun, but certainly evil. :D…haha, anywho: Lol, my brother just got through finals week, so I'm fairly certain I know whatcha been through. I'm sure you did great! Well, the reason Harm and Mac didn't get angry in court, was that both of them had to have heard the tape before it could've been admitted into evidence. Perhaps they got upset before *shrug*? I just didn't do a scene for that one :D. Haha! The Civil War fascinates me, and when Sturgis said, "How you holding up?" I knew I wanted Harm to answer with some kind of metaphor that had to do with the War. Thank you so much for noticing! LoL, the lines where Harm wouldn't answer Bud were kind of a joke. Since he'd just been in three hostile conversations, and he wasn't really listening to Bud, it was just a little joke. But I see what you mean. I didn't really like how I finished that scene, I'll probably tweak it when I finish the story and re-load it with something else. Thank you for pointing it out!!! Ohh my gosh, Grace at Singer's apartment is my favorite part of the chapter, and perhaps the story. It was emotional for me to write it and I had such a good time doing it. Thank you :). Yes, I had a suggestion earlier in the story to include the sixth sense that Mac has. As the story went on, I couldn't really find a good place for it until I hit that scene. Thank you! LoL, yeah, Harriet did punch Singer which, in my opinion, was one of the best scenes for Harriet in that season! Aw, yes, I love your reviews!! And I'll see ya next week!! Good luck with finals and enjoy your vacation!!!!!!!!!
On with the story!!!!
Chapter 10: Dare to Start Over0030 ZULU
NCIS Headquarters
Washington D.C.
No matter how long she'd held her daughter's hand in her own, Mac still couldn't get it warm enough. The girl was ice cold. Mac and Harm sat on either side of Grace on one side of the metal table and Detective Vinci was across from them. Vinci was an average sized man in his late thirties. He had a strong jaw and dark, thick hair, suggesting his Italian heritage, and an accent that unmistakably came from Brooklyn. But he was a man who had seen many crimes and his eyes held a perpetual sadness.
A few minutes ago, another detective entered the little room and announced to Vinci that Holly Lindsey had been apprehended, and Mac knew that Grace was going to have to be a witness to yet another trial. But Mac wasn't so sure Grace could handle it. The girl had gone into a freeze mode. Almost like a zombie. For a moment, she'd be with you and talk pretty easily, but then slip into almost a wakeful coma. Mac wasn't sure what thoughts passed through the girl's mind, as she'd stare blankly ahead. At the moment, she was willing to talk.
"Why were you at the victim's home in the first place?"
Grace lifted up her head, then turned it to Harm, who nodded at her. She moistened her lips before answering. "I needed to talk to her."
Vinci wrote the information down. "About what?"
Grace shrugged a shoulder. "I think I went there to apologize."
Vinci nodded, as if he actually understood what she meant, then asked the next question. "You were in Singer's bathroom, and that's when Mrs. Lindsey came?"
Grace's grip on Mac's hand tightened. Mac squeezed back to try and comfort her. "Uh-huh."
"Did Mrs. Lindsey say anything to Lieutenant Singer?"
Grace looked down at the table, like she was afraid to say it. "I think she told Singer that she wasn't going to get away with stealing her husband," Grace stopped, her voice choked, threatening tears. Harm placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her another reassuring nod. She continued, "Singer tried to calm her down, but then Lindsey said it was over and she—" Grace chose not to provide the obvious information and instead concentrated on getting her breathing back to a normal pace.
Vinci finished copying down Grace's answer. "That should be enough for now." Vinci waved over another detective who was in the small, square room. "Why don't you bring Miss Rabb and the Colonel to the front lobby. I'd like to talk to the Commander."
Mac looked back and forth from Vinci to Harm. "Um, I may not be Grace's guardian, but she means as much to me. Anything you have to say, I want to hear."
Vinci thought it over for a few seconds and then nodded. "Fine. Morris, just escort Miss Rabb then."
Grace pulled her father's leather jacket tightly around her as she stood and slowly followed the detective out of the room. Once she was gone, Vinci put down the notepad and slumped a little in the metal chair. He then slightly turned his head in the direction in which Grace left.
"Stuff like this isn't so uncommon," Vinci stated, his voice sounding more relaxed then it did before, "I used to work for D.C. police and I met kids who witnessed abuse and death all the time. It's not easy to get through."
Harm bent forward, crossing his arms on the table. "I realize this will be difficult for her—"
"There are programs," Vinci interrupted, "support groups for kids like Grace. Because everybody takes this stuff differently, kids especially. Some get moody, even violent. Others do the complete opposite and shut down emotionally. So the best advice I can give is to recognize the signs early, and get her help as soon as possible. We don't want this incident to stay with her all her life."
Mac pursed her lips and lowered her head, making Vinci shift his gaze towards her. "Colonel?"
Mac glanced up quickly. "...I'm sure these programs are...nice, I just don't think Grace needs to be exposed to all the other horror stories from other kids. She needs to deal with her own in the safety of her home...and family."
Vinci bit his lip, and he fixed Mac with an emotional stare. "Colonel, I grew up on the streets of Brooklyn. My ma worked three jobs just to keep us in a two-room apartment next to a crack house. My best friend's father was a dealer, and he watched his dad get whacked in his own apartment. I tried to get him to go to groups and everything, but he refused and killed himself a few months later," silence ensued in the little room, so Vinci continued, "now I'm not saying Grace is the suicidal type. You guys have to make that assessment. But her knowing that she's not the only one gives a lot of comfort."
Mac didn't say anything to that. Harm rested his chin on his fist, and then brought his arm back down to cross it with the other. "Do you have some...brochures?"
***
Grace watched Detective Morris go back into the lobby elevator. Grace didn't like him. He had large, wild eyes and it was shocking to look at him at first. But Grace felt a little better once he was gone. Grace let her eyes wander the lobby. It was much like a city bank. The ceilings were quite high and the floors were marble. People in business suits buzzed about in every direction. It was kind of strange since it was nearly eight-thirty on a Friday night. It made her nervous. But that was stupid. She never felt uneasy in public places. In fact, she seemed to thrive on all the people and the movement. But now, she'd hear shoes clacking at a rapid pace and it would make her jump. Grace shuddered at the thought she'd just made. So many things had changed since the morning. She'd woken up, frightened of a simple hearing. It seemed so childish to her now. There were so many more things in the world that were a danger to her, and she'd been afraid of standing up in front of a couple people and lying. Now she had to deal with another realization that spun around her head all night.
Why was Singer shot? Because Holly's husband skipped town. Why did Lindsey run away? Because he heard about the Article 32.
...Why was there an Article 32?
Because Grace opened her big mouth.
It came together so clearly...she killed Singer. So Grace didn't pull the trigger, but she might as well had. The thought put a heavy weight in Grace's chest, and she gripped the front side of the bench tightly. If she had only worked a little harder in convincing Singer, she might have gotten this whole thing resolved quietly, and without Holly knowing about the affair.
It was her fault.
Grace leaned back in the bench, bringing her feet up and hugging her knees, so she could hide her tears.
***
0330 ZULU
Harm's Apartment
North Of Union Station, Washington D.C.
"She must be exhausted." Mac murmured as she sat down in the leather chair. Harm sat, or more like flopped, into the chair across from her. At Mac's comment, he turned his head to the bedroom. When they had all entered Harm's apartment, Grace, took an hour-long shower and then without a word collapsed onto the master bed. It looked like Harm had the pullout bed for the night.
"Yeah, I'll let her sleep in tomorrow."
Mac took a sip of her hot chocolate, keeping her gaze on Harm. He eventually felt her eyes on him and he turned to her. He knew what she was saying and Harm nodded.
"She'll be fine. She just needs some time."
Mac set the mug on the end table and placed a pillow in her lap. "Harm, I don't like the idea of her in some 'support group' either. I don't want her to have to listen to everyone else's stories when she has her own to deal with, but..."
"But you think she should go anyway?" Harm finished for her.
Mac pursed her lips, looking away. "One of the groups Detective Vinci mentioned was right in her school. Maybe we should just tell her about and see what she thinks."
Harm put his elbow on the armrest and placed his forehead in his hand. "I just can't believe this is happening."
"I know. But I've sort of accepted that anything is possible." Mac said with a small smile.
Harm knew she was right. Recent events proved that she was. But still, that didn't mean everything had to go wrong. Now Harm was disturbed...no, not disturbed...just plain mad. He needed something to cheer him up.
Harm let his eyes wander around the apartment, searching for something to make him feel better. But what frightened him the most was that his gaze kept coming back to the woman seated across from him.
*God, she's so beautiful*.
Harm blinked. Where did that come from? The sailor suddenly felt very uncomfortable and he looked away from Mac, as if she'd know what he was thinking.
"What are you thinking about?"
Harm stirred. Why did she have to ask that? He shrugged, trying to appear casual. "The funeral's next Sunday."
For a moment, it seemed Mac was disappointed, and she looked down to hide it. "Yeah, the admiral contacted Singer's family. They're flying in on Thursday." She paused, sighing, "I can't imagine how hard it must be for them."
Harm glanced across the apartment at the bedroom. "You think Gracie will go?"
Mac hung her head disapprovingly. "You can't be serious…" She warned.
Harm met his partner's eyes. "It might give her some closure."
"Or it might set her off!" Mac pointed out.
"She could regret it for the rest of her life if she doesn't go."
Mac shook her head as she stood from the chair. "It's getting late. It's been a crazy day, I'm gonna head home."
Harm walked her to the door, handing the marine her coat. "I'll call you tomorrow."
Mac mumbled a, "You better," under her breath as Harm watched her leave.
***
1532 ZULU
Harm's Apartment
Grace slowly opened her eyes and took in a deep breath. She smelled laundry detergent. She loved when sheets and pillows smelled like laundry detergent. Grace gathered another breath filled with the lovely scent, and she smiled happily to herself. But the smile disappeared when she heard the gunshot. On impulse, she threw the sheet over her head when the second fire rang out. Suddenly, everything that happened the day before came crashing down on her at full speed, and she closed her eyes and covered her ears as the unwelcome images flashed before her. But then she heard something different. It was her father's voice as he cursed to himself. Grace shot up in the bed in time to see a metal bowl rolling towards the apartment door on its side. Harm, shaking his head, chased after it before it fell over. He bent down, snatching the bowl, and turned towards the kitchen, but Grace's upright figure caught his eye.
"Good morning." He said with forced gaiety.
Grace moistened her lips. "Hey." She eyed the bowl curiously.
Harm's gaze flickered from it to Grace. "Sorry if I woke you. Had a disagreement with the pots and pans."
Grace made a half smile. "I was awake. It just startled me."
Harm sighed, and it looked like he wanted to talk, but wasn't sure how to approach the topic. "Look, Grace, I know you just woke up, but…" Harm let his voice trail off as he inched into the bedroom.
Grace rubbed her eyes as she sat up straighter in the bed, pulling the sheets up. "I heard you and Mac talking last night."
Harm stopped at the foot of the bed and sighed. "You did, huh?"
She nodded. "I didn't mean to. There's kind of, like, this tunnel of sound," Grace tried to form a tunnel with her hands, "that carries your voices alllll the way over here." Her father gave Grace a spectacle look as she tried to defend herself. "I wasn't eavesdropping!"
"Well, what did you hear?"
Grace pursed her lips and looked down at the bed. "I wanna go to the funeral."
Harm's eyebrows rose. "Really…"
Grace crossed her arms, still staring at the bed. "I mean, I don't want to go, but I think I should for…well, like you said, for closure."
He stood there thinking about it for a moment, staring down at his reflection in the bowl. "Gracie, are you absolutely sure—"
"Yes." She said defiantly. But her insides were twisting. She could imagine Singer's casket being lowered into the ground, knowing that the person who occupied it had been a healthy, living human being just a couple days ago.
Grace snapped back to attention when Harm sighed.
"All right—"
The knock on the door interrupted him and he sat the bowl on the bed before heading for the door. Grace grabbed her duster next to her and quickly put it on. Harm held the door open and stared at whoever was behind the door. He then looked over at Grace and backed away from the door into the kitchen. Grace suddenly wanted to bury herself into the covers when she saw Eric emerge into the apartment. Eric closed the door slowly and bit his lip as he slowly stepped into the bedroom. He looked so...sad. Grace drew her knees up and quickly raked a hand through her disheveled hair. Realizing she couldn't do much with her appearance, she just crossed her arms and stared down at the bed.
Eric rubbed the keys in his hands, obviously nervous. "Hey." He said softly as he stood at the foot of the bed.
Grace kept her head bent forward. "Hey."
Eric sniffed and took a tissue out of his jeans pocket. "Stupid cold." He murmured.
She nodded, folding the edges of the blanket. "Yeah, there's a nasty bug going around."
The young man sniffed again, then coughed. "Yeah, it's bad this year."
The silence was agonizing, and the two whipped up their heads at the same time. "I'm sorry." They said in unison. Grace smiled a little and Eric chuckled softly.
"I'll go first." He volunteered.
But Grace shook her head. "No, let me."
He didn't argue, so Grace continued. "I know I haven't been very truthful lately. And I haven't let you in, when you deserve to know what's going on—"
"Grace, you don't have you—"
She put a hand up to silence him. "Lemme finish...Eric, I had a parent in the CIA, who died not long ago. Harm is my guardian," Grace didn't look up to catch Eric's expression. She was afraid to see what it was, "So I've been a little insane the past couple weeks. I was obsessed with solving the Singer case. I think I was...using her to ease my own pain. To take my mind off my parent. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Then I went to apartment, and you know how that turned out..."
Grace finally looked up, but the first thing that caught her eye was Harm's shadow on the other side of the closed vertical blinds. Grace grabbed the bowl on the bed and flung it at the blinds. Harm immediately backed away into the kitchen. Grace then focused on Eric, who sat on the end of the bed, his back to her, and his head in his hand. She crawled over and sat next to him.
"Are you okay?"
He didn't respond at first and it felt like forever before he turned his head to her. "I had no idea it was you at Singer's apartment. The news never specified who was with her."
Grace's jaw dropped and her mouth went dry. "You—you didn't know?"
Eric shook his head quickly. He took in a few deep breaths and looked straight at her. "I'm sorry I wasn't there with you." The next thing Grace knew was Eric's head had dropped onto her shoulder, and he hugged her tightly. Grace wrapped her arms around his neck.
"It's okay," She whispered into his ear, "I'm okay."
***
1630 ZULU
Arlington Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia
Ironically, it was one of those windy, deathly chilly days, but warm enough to produce rain rather than snow. The drizzling rain came down suddenly like small pellets, causing obvious discomfort for everyone at the burial. Yes, it was very much late November. The month simply couldn't be complete without its strange and unpredictable weather.
Grace stood mostly behind her father's tall figure, which happened to be facing the wind, but she poked her head out from behind him so she could see. A Navy enlisted man brought the bugler to his lips as the famous sad, slow song, "Taps," echoed throughout the cemetery. Grace lowered her head as the song played. She was usually good at hiding her tears, her fear of being seen crying was what often built a strong resistance. But her defenses had literally crumbled since a week ago, and the tears flowed freely down her face. Mac stood next to Grace, her hands crossed and hung loosely in front of her, but she grasped Grace's hand, trying to let any strength she had pass through to her daughter.
The casket team leader then started to fold the flag. The ceremony of folding it took a long time. Every fold was carefully done. When it was done, the chaplain bent over to give it to Mrs. Singer. The woman, in her late fifties, gently took the flag, running her hand over it as the tears fell down her face. A younger woman, who stood behind her, put a gloved hand on her shoulder and squeezed it tenderly. Mr. Singer stared down at the casket, his tall forehead furrowed as if he was still trying to make sense of everything going on. There must have been at least thirty people behind Mr. and Mrs. Singer. They all dabbed their eyes with tissues and lowered their heads as the chaplain prayed aloud.
The amount of military personnel that attended the funeral was much fewer. There was of course Harm and Mac, and Admiral Chegwidden, Sergei (who looked especially distraught), the Roberts, Gunny, Tiner, Coates, and a couple others from JAG headquarters. Most of them looked uncomfortable, not because of the rain, but the reason for being here. Grace had to applaud them though. There weren't many who liked Lieutenant Singer, but somehow, Grace figured she would be pleased to know these people had come.
Once the casket team left the gravesite, everyone turned around, the ceremony now over. All except for the one soldier, the vigil, whose mission was to remain at the grave until the body was interred into the ground. Harm instinctively took Grace's hand as he and Mac followed the large crowd towards their cars. Admiral Chegwidden stepped up to the Singers before they got into the limousine. He shook each of their hands.
"I'm Admiral Chegwidden," The ex-SEAL said with a comforting smile, "we spoke over the phone. I'd just like to say you have my deepest condolences."
Mrs. Singer nodded, swallowing her tears to speak. "Admiral, I know our daughter was not easy to get along with. But she loved the Navy. And whenever she called home, she always spoke fondly of her friends at JAG Headquarters."
A.J.'s smile started to slowly diminish, but he held it. "Is that right?"
Mr. Singer nodded his gray head. "Yes, Admiral. All of us live in Montana, and Loren never got to see us very often. But you and your staff were like a second family to her. Thank you for that."
The Singers said thank you again, and turned to go into the limo, but Mrs. Singer stopped when she spotted Grace with Mac and Harm behind the admiral. Her eyes narrowed.
"You wouldn't happen to be the girl who...found my daughter, are you?"
Grace cocked an eyebrow and looked up at Harm, who quickly glanced away. Grace looked Mrs. Singer in the eye and shook her head. "No."
Both Mac and A.J. shot Grace a look, which she ignored. Mrs. Singer sighed in what sounded like disappointment.
"Hm, too bad. I would've liked to have thanked that girl for being with Loren during her...last moments." Her voice threatened more tears and her husband put a comforting arm around her shoulder.
Grace felt Mac's arm nudge her, but the girl refused to say anything.
***
The Corvette inched forward behind the admiral's SUV as Harm and Grace waited in the long line of cars that were still lined up in the cemetery. The rain came down harder now and the only sound in the car was the rain tapping on the roof, and the windshield wipers swishing back and forth across the glass. Grace watched them carefully, now having memorized their rhythm. At the moment, her head was cocked to the side and resting on the cold, passenger window, and her arms were folded over her black wool coat. She didn't dare look over at Harm. She didn't want him to start a conversation. Specifically one about her going to that support group. She didn't need support. She needed to be secluded for a few weeks. She needed to forget all the blood, and that look of horror that was frozen on Singer's face. Grace shook the gory image away. Singer's last moment was not something Grace wanted to think about, but she couldn't help running it through her mind over and over again.
"Come on, Loren, just hang on for a couple more minutes!" Grace said between heavy sobs. She then grabbed another pillow and pressed it against the bullet holes in Singer's chest. Loren jolted a little, and Grace knew she was in incredible pain. Blood dribbled out of the young woman's mouth and Grace looked away, squeezing her eyes shut. Gathering back her strength, she jerked her head around and stared into Singer's face. There was so much fear in her bright blue eyes. Her faced blanched, making the blood that ran out of her mouth, and the red dots on her cheeks grow darker. And suddenly, Singer's gaze shifted to Grace, and she stared right at her. Her red lips moved and Grace hesitantly bent down. She could feel the uneven exhales from the woman against her face, and Grace closed her eyes again, just listening for whatever Singer wanted to say. In the midst of the woman's gasps for air, she said something that resembled, "Thank you." But Grace wouldn't accept that. Why did she deserve any thanks? She'd gotten this woman killed!
"Why—why would you say that?" Grace asked breathlessly, "For what, Loren?"
But Grace knew she would get no answer. Singer's gasping stopped, and her hands ceased to tremble. Grace leaned back up into a sitting position, and studied Singer's face. Grace cringed as she placed her hand over her eyes, still wide with fright, to close them. And that was that. It was over. But not for Grace. She was certain she'd live in torment for the rest of her days."
The windshield wipers squeaked loudly causing her body to jolt. Harm caught her sudden movement and gave her a sidelong glance.
"You okay?" He murmured just loud enough.
Grace hadn't told Harm or Mac about that last moment with Singer, and she didn't plan to unless necessary. "I guess. I've—I've never been to a funeral before." She watched her breath fog a patch of the passenger window, and she brought her hand up to it and started to draw a rough doodle of a jet.
Harm turned to look at her. "Grace?"
Unsatisfied with the jet, Grace rubbed it away, and then refolded her arms. "What?"
"I just want you to know I'm proud of you for coming. That took guts."
Grace slowly lifted her head from its position on the window and looked right at her father. "To tell the truth, I was more afraid of being left home alone."
She didn't expect her comment to have such an impact on Harm. His mouth parted slightly, and his eyes widened. After a couple seconds, he clamped his jaw shut and snapped his gaze to the slow moving SUV in front of them. Grace observed him for a moment. What was that all about?
"Mac and I talked about something else last night too."
*Oh, no. God, please, no.*
"And we think maybe you should go to this support group at your school."
That was the limit. Grace sat up in the seat, her mouth agape. "What?! Forget it, I'm not going!"
Harm sighed. "Grace, I've woken up every night this week because you were crying in your sleep! You—you still won't go to school, you zone out, get moody, and just now you revealed you're afraid to stay home alone!"
"It's been barely a week!" Grace exclaimed. "Do you expect to me just get over this right away?"
"Of course not! Which is why I'm just asking you to consider this group!"
Grace stuttered trying to find a way out of this. The very last think she wanted to do was tell a classroom of strangers what she went through. She couldn't even tell her own parents! But she couldn't find anything to come back at him with. So now she had to plead.
"Please don't make me go, Harm. Please!"
It was clearly torturous for him too. He was battling with his fatherly instincts, and wanting to stay her friend. The fatherly instincts were winning.
"Grace, the trial against Mrs. Lindsey is next week. They need you to be stable enough on that witness stand to give your testimony!"
She rolled her eyes as she slumped down into the seat. "I'll be fine." She snapped, biting off each word.
Harm sighed sharply and pulled the Corvette out of the line of cars to the side of the road. He rested his elbow on the window, his hand rubbing his temple.
"What happened when Singer was dieing?"
Grace scoffed. "What do you think?"
Harm narrowed her eyes at his daughter's harsh reply. "You tell me!" He retorted with as much attitude.
"I don't wanna to talk about it!" She threw back.
Harm scoffed incredulously, looking away out his own window. He watched Mac as she slowed down her own Corvette upon seeing their car. She gave Harm a curious expression and he nodded, signaling her to go ahead.
"Look, Grace," Harm continued, his voice at a calmer tone, "I didn't like the idea of you going either. But if it's going to get you better—"
"I'll get better on my own!"
Thunder rolled in the distance and the wind blew wet leaves along the ground, threatening the storm to become worse. This wasn't how Harm expected this to go. When Detective Vinci mentioned the different behaviors of some kids, he hadn't expected Grace to be one of the difficult ones. Judging by her personality, he predicted her to fall silent and stay secluded. But she was being just plain unreasonable. And she was anything but quiet.
"You're going." Harm said, his tone filled with a military discipline, "and that's final."
Her expression was stone, and her eyes were cold. "The hell I am."
With that, Grace opened the door and strode out into the ever-growing storm. Harm was in complete shock as he watched her stomp into the grass and start down the long rows of graves. Harm unbuckled his seatbelt and took off his cover so it wouldn't get wet. Then he exited the Corvette and jogged to catch up to Grace.
"Where do you think you're going?!" He yelled over the wind.
Grace whipped around and rolled her eyes as she continued down the aisle of white tombstones. "Anywhere!" She yelled back.
Harm grasped her arm and pointed back towards the Corvette. "Get back in the car, now! This is crazy!"
Grace wrenched her arm out of his grasp. "Don't you get it?! I can't do this anymore! I'm tired of being here, I'm tired of living this—this, whatever the hell it is!" She was screaming now, the wind blowing her hair in a million directions creating the effect that she looked insane, "Three weeks I've been here, and I've already killed someone! I hate this! I hate it!"
Harm shook his head. "What are you talking about? You didn't kill anyone!"
Grace pointed at Singer's gravesite, several yards away. "What do you call that?! *I* caused it! *Me*!"
Harm blinked away the rain that beat against his eyes. It was pulling together now. Everything. Grace really believed Singer's death was her fault. Without much warning, Grace then fell to her knees in front of Harm and wept. She pulled at the wet grass and wept until she had no more tears to shed.
***
TBC
***
This chapter was slightly altered after I posted it. I was up late last night trying to finish it, but was kicked off the computer. Hopefully you all got this better version!
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!!!!!!!
~sancti