Fox: Incredible action already witnessed here, and we've not even had the
main event yet! Coming up next: Tommy Vercetti VS Tanner!
Snake: You put down any bets, Fox?
Fox: Only that it will be a great fight!
Snake: Your sole purpose is to praise the product, isn't it? You have no opinions of your own.
Fox: Er, Snake, don't get angry with me just because Tommy pissed you off.
Snake: You bring up that little shit one more time.
Fox: ..And I think our technicians have informed us that the car arena has been put in place..
Snake: The what?
Fox: We hired Reflections to construct an entire Destruction Derby type arena where Tommy Vercetti and Tanner will enter in a vehicle of their choice.
Snake: Who the hell thought of that? Tanner will kill the bastard. Reflections made Driver as well!
Fox: Ah, but the arena will be littered with weapons curtsey of the good people at Rockstar.
Snake: Those Scottish gimps..
Fox: Do you hear engines purring? I think our combatants are entering...
(Tanner rides into the arena in a cop car to sirens. He does a three-sixty, then a slalom between the weapons..)
Fox: Tanner has entered in that insanely fast police car from the Driver 1 Survival mode! What a wise choice!
Snake: And now he's pulling off every move in the infamous driving test at the beginning of Driver.
Fox: Was it just me, or was that far too difficult for a first level?
Snake: It's just you.
(At that moment, Vercetti zooms into the arena in a mock Lamborghini Diablo, smashing into the back of Tanner's patrol vehicle)
Snake: That sneaky bastard!
Fox: Oh my God! Vercetti just arse-rammed Tanner in the famous Inferno!
(Tanner goes flying into the barricade and crashes hard. Vercetti attempts to ram him again, but Tanner reverse-swerves quickly. Vercetti crashes with a sickening crunch)
Snake: Oooh, I would not wish that upon any man. But then, Vercetti's no man.
Fox: Well, he's not known for wearing a seatbelt.
(Vercetti reverses and pulls out a Uzi. He shoots it out the window, drive- by style. Tanner evades the shots and rams Vercetti in the other side of the car's frame, severely denting it.)
Tanner: Your ass is mine, you little shit!
Vercetti: Fuck you, Tanner!
Snake: Get him, Tanner!
Fox: What an incredible spectacle this match has been already! These fans are begging for more!
(Tanner backs up and prepares to ram the Inferno again. At the last instant, Vercetti drives forwards, evading the collision. Tanner goes uncontrollably fast, eventually smashing through the arena barrier)
Fox: Woah, I think someone just died.
Snake: It coulda been Tanner.
Vercetti: You fuckin' suck, Tanner! Hey, while you're fuckin' around in the crowd I can fuck your ma again! Whatda think about that?
(Tanner rolls out of the car window, limp. He looks unconscious)
Vercetti: Oh, now you're fuckin' dead.
(Vercetti speeds towards Tanner's motionless body. Just before impact, Tanner rolls out of the way, picks a samurai sword up from the crowd and cuts through the side of the Inferno)
Snake: Do you smell lawyers again?
(The Inferno crashes, and Vercetti is thrown through the windshield)
Fox: Remember, kids: Belt up.
(Tanner walks towards Tommy's limp body with the sword in hand.)
Tanner: Hey Vercetti! You're not so tough now, are ya? No more wisecracks?
Vercetti (weakly): Fuck..you...
Tanner: You wanna take that back? Before I castrate you with this?!
Snake: Now he's for it. GIVE HIM ONE FOR ME, TANNER!
Vercetti: You can fuck off, Snake!
(Vercetti kicks Tanner in the balls. Tanner falls to the floor, and Tommy begins kicking his head in)
Snake: One more word, and I'm going down there.
Fox: Snake, don't! He'll kill you! You're no match for him hand to hand!
(Just then, Max Payne jumps into the arena)
Snake: What the hell? Why is he here?
Fox: He must be helping his fellow law-enforcer to arrest Vercetti!
Snake: Looks like he's all healed up from that fight with Nick Kang!
(Max picks up a chainsaw from the floor and begins to walk towards Tommy. All of a sudden, he turns around and slices Tanner in half)
Fox: Tanner is dead! We have a winner!
Snake: Those pricks! THAT IS IT! VERCETTI, I'M COMING FOR YOU!
Not the end! The next chapter will follow!
Snake: You put down any bets, Fox?
Fox: Only that it will be a great fight!
Snake: Your sole purpose is to praise the product, isn't it? You have no opinions of your own.
Fox: Er, Snake, don't get angry with me just because Tommy pissed you off.
Snake: You bring up that little shit one more time.
Fox: ..And I think our technicians have informed us that the car arena has been put in place..
Snake: The what?
Fox: We hired Reflections to construct an entire Destruction Derby type arena where Tommy Vercetti and Tanner will enter in a vehicle of their choice.
Snake: Who the hell thought of that? Tanner will kill the bastard. Reflections made Driver as well!
Fox: Ah, but the arena will be littered with weapons curtsey of the good people at Rockstar.
Snake: Those Scottish gimps..
Fox: Do you hear engines purring? I think our combatants are entering...
(Tanner rides into the arena in a cop car to sirens. He does a three-sixty, then a slalom between the weapons..)
Fox: Tanner has entered in that insanely fast police car from the Driver 1 Survival mode! What a wise choice!
Snake: And now he's pulling off every move in the infamous driving test at the beginning of Driver.
Fox: Was it just me, or was that far too difficult for a first level?
Snake: It's just you.
(At that moment, Vercetti zooms into the arena in a mock Lamborghini Diablo, smashing into the back of Tanner's patrol vehicle)
Snake: That sneaky bastard!
Fox: Oh my God! Vercetti just arse-rammed Tanner in the famous Inferno!
(Tanner goes flying into the barricade and crashes hard. Vercetti attempts to ram him again, but Tanner reverse-swerves quickly. Vercetti crashes with a sickening crunch)
Snake: Oooh, I would not wish that upon any man. But then, Vercetti's no man.
Fox: Well, he's not known for wearing a seatbelt.
(Vercetti reverses and pulls out a Uzi. He shoots it out the window, drive- by style. Tanner evades the shots and rams Vercetti in the other side of the car's frame, severely denting it.)
Tanner: Your ass is mine, you little shit!
Vercetti: Fuck you, Tanner!
Snake: Get him, Tanner!
Fox: What an incredible spectacle this match has been already! These fans are begging for more!
(Tanner backs up and prepares to ram the Inferno again. At the last instant, Vercetti drives forwards, evading the collision. Tanner goes uncontrollably fast, eventually smashing through the arena barrier)
Fox: Woah, I think someone just died.
Snake: It coulda been Tanner.
Vercetti: You fuckin' suck, Tanner! Hey, while you're fuckin' around in the crowd I can fuck your ma again! Whatda think about that?
(Tanner rolls out of the car window, limp. He looks unconscious)
Vercetti: Oh, now you're fuckin' dead.
(Vercetti speeds towards Tanner's motionless body. Just before impact, Tanner rolls out of the way, picks a samurai sword up from the crowd and cuts through the side of the Inferno)
Snake: Do you smell lawyers again?
(The Inferno crashes, and Vercetti is thrown through the windshield)
Fox: Remember, kids: Belt up.
(Tanner walks towards Tommy's limp body with the sword in hand.)
Tanner: Hey Vercetti! You're not so tough now, are ya? No more wisecracks?
Vercetti (weakly): Fuck..you...
Tanner: You wanna take that back? Before I castrate you with this?!
Snake: Now he's for it. GIVE HIM ONE FOR ME, TANNER!
Vercetti: You can fuck off, Snake!
(Vercetti kicks Tanner in the balls. Tanner falls to the floor, and Tommy begins kicking his head in)
Snake: One more word, and I'm going down there.
Fox: Snake, don't! He'll kill you! You're no match for him hand to hand!
(Just then, Max Payne jumps into the arena)
Snake: What the hell? Why is he here?
Fox: He must be helping his fellow law-enforcer to arrest Vercetti!
Snake: Looks like he's all healed up from that fight with Nick Kang!
(Max picks up a chainsaw from the floor and begins to walk towards Tommy. All of a sudden, he turns around and slices Tanner in half)
Fox: Tanner is dead! We have a winner!
Snake: Those pricks! THAT IS IT! VERCETTI, I'M COMING FOR YOU!
Not the end! The next chapter will follow!