Fox: During the break, my co-commentator Solid Snake left the announcing
box to embark on a one-man revenge mission on Tommy Vercetti and Max Payne.
Luckily, at the last moment, we managed to get Meryl up here to commentate
on any further happenings. But what I wanna know is: why is Max Payne
helping Tommy?
Meryl: I think I know why. They're both from Rockstar!
Fox: That's right! Snake could be in trouble..
Snake: Vercetti! You got anythin' more to say to me before I kick the shit outta your Hawaiian shirt wearin' body?
Vercetti: Bring it on, you motherfuckin' puffda!
(Snake walks straight up to Tommy. Vercetti tries a right hook, but Snake ducks and upper-cuts him to the floor)
Fox: What a beauty! Right in the kisser!
Meryl: Look out, Snake!
(Max grabs a wrench from the floor and runs towards Snake)
Fox: Shit!
(Snake ducks and tosses Payne over his head to the floor. As Vercetti rises, Snake punches him twice and hits a spin kick to knock him down again)
Fox: Snake hits his famous one-two spinkick!
Meryl: He's taking them out single-handedly!
(Snake stands triumphant. However, Payne rises and takes the wrench to Snake's nether regions. A stomach-churning crack echoes around the arena)
Fox: What a dirty move! He may have cracked Snake's pelvis!
Meryl: Oh, great, another excuse..
(Vercetti and Payne begin to hammer Snake with every available object. Snake looks bad)
Fox: There can't be much more of this. How much can one man endure? We might be witnessing the death of Solid Snake!
Meryl: Not if I can help it!
Fox: For God's sake, whose gonna commentate now?
(Meryl climbs down towards the action.)
Fox: Oh great.
(Meryl sneaks up on Max and taps him on the shoulder. A huge "!" appears above his head. Meryl takes the exclamation mark and smacks Max over the head with it)
Meryl: Get outta here, Vercetti, or you'll get more of the same!
Vercetti: You don't wanna fuck with me, Meryl. I just beat the shit outta your boyfriend.
(Meryl smashes the exclamation mark into Vercetti's head. Vercetti is out cold)
Fox: What a superb piece of punctuation by Meryl!
(Meryl walks over to Snake and helps him to his feet. Payne crawls along the ground and drags Tommy's body out of the arena)
Meryl: He's not my boyfriend.
Fox: What?
Payne: What?
Snake: Whu- what?
Meryl: I can't live like this anymore Snake. You're on your own.
Fox: I do not believe what we have witnessed! On the eve of the war between Rockstar and Metal Gear, Meryl has just dumped The Ladies Man of Shadow Moses!
(Meryl slaps Snake to the floor and walks out of the arena)
Snake:..shit..
Meryl: I think I know why. They're both from Rockstar!
Fox: That's right! Snake could be in trouble..
Snake: Vercetti! You got anythin' more to say to me before I kick the shit outta your Hawaiian shirt wearin' body?
Vercetti: Bring it on, you motherfuckin' puffda!
(Snake walks straight up to Tommy. Vercetti tries a right hook, but Snake ducks and upper-cuts him to the floor)
Fox: What a beauty! Right in the kisser!
Meryl: Look out, Snake!
(Max grabs a wrench from the floor and runs towards Snake)
Fox: Shit!
(Snake ducks and tosses Payne over his head to the floor. As Vercetti rises, Snake punches him twice and hits a spin kick to knock him down again)
Fox: Snake hits his famous one-two spinkick!
Meryl: He's taking them out single-handedly!
(Snake stands triumphant. However, Payne rises and takes the wrench to Snake's nether regions. A stomach-churning crack echoes around the arena)
Fox: What a dirty move! He may have cracked Snake's pelvis!
Meryl: Oh, great, another excuse..
(Vercetti and Payne begin to hammer Snake with every available object. Snake looks bad)
Fox: There can't be much more of this. How much can one man endure? We might be witnessing the death of Solid Snake!
Meryl: Not if I can help it!
Fox: For God's sake, whose gonna commentate now?
(Meryl climbs down towards the action.)
Fox: Oh great.
(Meryl sneaks up on Max and taps him on the shoulder. A huge "!" appears above his head. Meryl takes the exclamation mark and smacks Max over the head with it)
Meryl: Get outta here, Vercetti, or you'll get more of the same!
Vercetti: You don't wanna fuck with me, Meryl. I just beat the shit outta your boyfriend.
(Meryl smashes the exclamation mark into Vercetti's head. Vercetti is out cold)
Fox: What a superb piece of punctuation by Meryl!
(Meryl walks over to Snake and helps him to his feet. Payne crawls along the ground and drags Tommy's body out of the arena)
Meryl: He's not my boyfriend.
Fox: What?
Payne: What?
Snake: Whu- what?
Meryl: I can't live like this anymore Snake. You're on your own.
Fox: I do not believe what we have witnessed! On the eve of the war between Rockstar and Metal Gear, Meryl has just dumped The Ladies Man of Shadow Moses!
(Meryl slaps Snake to the floor and walks out of the arena)
Snake:..shit..