Nadeshiko watched as her mother caught up with her father in the airport.
Li Syaoran shyly gave Kinomoto Sakura his teddy bear.
"C-Can I call it 'Syaoran'?" she asked shyly, her cheeks pink.
He nodded happily as their eyes met in silent understanding. This wouldn't be the last time that they would meet; he would make sure of that.
JR smiled. He knew the rest of the story. "But Uncle Li came back that summer with Aunt Meiling. Dad told me that Aunt Sakura confessed her feelings to him there, just when Uncle Li was in the verge of losing his memory."
Nadeshiko went starry-eyed. "Wow, my parents' love story is so kawaii! I'm so proud of otoosan. He never gave up on okaasan even though he knew he was against all odds. Anyway, it was good that Yukito didn't become my father. I'm going to marry him."
JR rolled his eyes. "Tell that to Nakuru." He looked at his wristwatch. "Anyway, we better get back. It's almost thirty minutes and—"
Suddenly the scene changed. Nadeshiko and JR found themselves watching Sakura and Li, a more grown-up version of them, walking down the aisle of the church happily.
"Okaasan is so beautiful," whispered the little girl, who was fascinated by the rosy blush in her mother's face, as well as her sparkly emerald eyes. She was truly a visual definition of happy.
And her father…she was used to seeing him as a semi-serious, semi-quiet guy who was rarely expressive with what he feels. But looking at the bright proud face of her father, she marveled on the special kind of love her parents share.
"Now more than ever, I want to be married," she found herself telling her cousin.
He burst out laughing. "I can't wait to see you walking down the aisle with your mother's wedding gown while wearing your sneakers. Once a tomboy, always a tomboy."
Nadeshiko stuck her tongue out at him, then turned her eyes back to the scene. To her surprise, the church was gone. They were now in front of a hospital ward.
"W-What are we doing here?" she asked nervously.
Before he could answer, a doctor emerged from the room sadly. Behind the kids, Li Syaoran stood up anxiously. "Doc, my wife? How is she?"
The doctor sighed, then spoke. "She's fine. She's safe now…"
"But…" prompted Syaoran, almost fearfully.
"We lost the baby." He patted the shocked father. "I'm sorry. Your wife's health was too fragile. We did our best, but we could have ended up losing both of them—"
Li burst into the room and found his wife lying down the bed, sobbing.
"Sakura…" he whispered, almost inaudibly. But she heard it. Her shaking emerald eyes met his amber ones.
"She's gone…Nadeshiko is gone…" she whispered, fresh tears pooling in her eyes. "She's dead…and I can't have any more babies…"
"Ssh." He hurried towards her side and hugged her tightly, crying too. "Sakura, it's alright. Don't cry. The child is not for us."
"I failed…as a mother," she wept bitterly, hugging her husband like a lifesaver. "I hate myself…"
"Don't say that," he whispered fiercely. "I love you still, Sakura. I love you. We still have each other, ok?" He kissed her eyelids lovingly. "I love you."
"Syaoran….I don't know what I would do without you…" she sobbed. "I love you, Syaoran."
JR recovered from his initial shock from what he witnessed. He turned his eyes to his cousin in alarm.
Nadeshiko was frozen like a statue, her face as white as sheet. JR squeezed her shoulders. "N-Nadeshiko…there must be some explanation for this…" he said slowly. "T-This must be a mistake…" When she didn't react, he placed his hands on her shoulders and shook her. "Nadeshiko? Nadeshiko! Snap out of it!"
A tear dropped down her eye. "I'm…dead?"
"No, no." He shook his head vehemently. There must be a reason. You can't be dead!"
The scene changed into the orphanage. Sakura and Li smiled as a nun handed them an infant bundled up with cloth. She had amber eyes and a tuff of brown hair.
"I'll call her Nadeshiko," said Sakura softly.
Li smiled, overwhelmed with relief and happiness. It was the first time that he saw his wife smile like that ever since the incident of her miscarriage. She had holed herself up in the house since then, until one afternoon that a door-to-door solicitor for an orphanage passed by their house. She had not liked the sight of children, but she told him that something was pulling her into that place.
The next thing they knew, a nun was offering them an infant they found by the doorstep of the orphanage yesterday. Sakura instantly fell in love with the child and so here they were, adopting little Nadeshiko into the family.
It was a start of a whole new life for them, he was sure of that.
The scene disappeared, just as they returned to the present. Yukito and Nakuru went to them hurriedly.
"We're ok," said JR when the two were about to ask. He then stole a glance at his cousin who was still in shock. He gently walked towards her and knelt beside her. "Nadeshiko?" He tipped her chin up and was dismayed to see that she was crying quietly.
"She knows," said Yukito, sighing.
"Nadeshiko," JR tried again. She didn't budge. He clenched his fists. "Come on, Nadeshiko. Please say something. Say something, for Pete's sake!" He blamed himself for what happened to his most favorite person in the world. If he had not encouraged her to trace her roots, this wouldn't have happened.
"Nadeshiko!" He helplessly hugged her. "Nadeshiko, talk to me, please. I'm sorry. Nadeshiko, come on, snap out of it! Nadeshiko!" He could feel that he too was crying. "Nadeshiko, talk to me. This is JR, come on, Nadeshiko!"
"JR…" she whispered, pushing him away gently. "Now I understand…why I cannot use the Clow cards. Why I don't hear my parents talk about their lives the way your parents do. Why I feel different…"
"You're not different," he said, wiping his eyes with his fist. "You're special."
She got up shakily. "I…want to go home."
"You're still part of the family." JR got up too. "And even if you're not my cousin…I love you all the same. I will still be here for you."
"Thank you…" Just then, she lost consciousness. Yukito was quick to catch her, fortunately.
Sakura and Li, who flew straight from Hong Kong, were seated quietly in the living room of the Hiiragizawa mansion, together with the Hiiragizawa couple, JR, Yukito, Nakuru, Spinel, and Kero.
Sakura sobbed again. "It still is not time for her to know…poor Nadeshiko…" Tears threatened to fall down once more.
Eriol looked at Yukito, Nakuru, and his son grimly. "Did you see the consequences of your decisions that you didn't think about first?"
"I'm sorry." Yukito and Nakuru both mumbled. JR didn't react.
"What can you say for yourself, young man?" repeated Eriol.
JR didn't look up.
"It's alright," said Li. "It was inevitable anyway." He sighed. "The truth is, we didn't have a black and white agreement on her adoption. The nun found my wife unfit for an adoptive mother."
Sakura nodded. "She felt that I might just end up imposing on Nadeshiko my expectations for the child I lost. She told me that if I was ready to accept my daughter not as a replacement for my first baby but as my own child, she would give me the papers."
Tomoyo frowned. "All these years, you haven't signed the agreement yet?" JR looked up to see what his aunt would say.
Sakura's eyes filled with tears. "Nadeshiko's true mother came back to the orphanage just when I was ready to sign the agreement. She wants her child back. Apparently, her husband kidnapped the child and left it in the orphanage to spite her. The mother is now begging us to give her child back."
"You're also Nadeshiko's mother," said JR.
Tomoyo looked at her son and nodded. "Sakura…"
"If I can be happy by being selfish, I would have turned my back on the mother and said 'no'. Nadeshiko is a wonderful child." Sakura bit her lip. "But I'm a mother once in my life too. I know what it feels to be separated from my child." She burst into tears once more.
"Nadeshiko's mother will take her back on her twelfth birthday," said Li gravely.
"NO!!!" JR got up on his feet. "No, no, no!!! You can't let them take Nadeshiko away!!! NO!!!"
"JR…" Tomoyo went to him and held his trembling hand. "Must you be selfish and not give Nadeshiko a chance to feel how you feel when I hold you close like this?"
His eyes shook. "No…" He looked down on the floor, then bolted out of the room. Tomoyo knew where he was heading.
"He loves her," she said. "He loves her, Sakura."
"I know," nodded her cousin.
"Nadeshiko?" JR sat down beside her. The girl was still in shock. She was staring at the ceiling of her bed, her eyes glassy and lifeless.
He reached out and touched her hand. "Aunt Sakura and Uncle Li would take you home later. T-To Hong Kong…"
She didn't react.
"It's too far…I won't be able to see you anymore everyday…" His voice broke. "B-But you know what? You would see your true mom there. Aunt Sakura says your mother has been searching for you for so long already."
He felt her hand tremble beneath his touch. He smiled. "I don't want you to go, for I already miss my favorite playmate in the world. Who would check the parts of my racecar when you go? Who would teach me soccer?" His vision became blurry with tears. "But you taught me that selfishness is not love." He smiled at her tearfully. "I care for my cousin very much, so I will not be selfish."
"J…R…" She looked at him sadly. "I'm not…your cousin."
"Says who?" He held out his pinkie finger. "I promise that no matter what happens, I'll still be your cousin, your best friend. No matter where you and I go, we're bound to each other."
She held out her pinkie finger, and they shook them together.
It had been days since Nadeshiko, Sakura, and Li left the house. Nakuru watched as her young master Eriol Hiiragizawa Jr. sat down by the windowpane, composing a long letter to his cousin.
She knocked softly on the door to get his attention. "Snack time, JR."
"Later," he said.
Nakuru sighed, then shut the door. She found Yukito smiling at her reassuringly.
"He would get over it," he told her comfortingly. "Don't be sad, Nakuru-san. I'm not used to such a long face."
Nakuru sighed once more. "The house is so lonely now."
Yukito looked at her as if he wanted to say something, then he looked away. "Come on, let's eat. JR will come down when he gets hungry."
She nodded lamely and followed him into the kitchen.
tsuzuku