Artemis sat there, in his horridly expensive chair in a horridly expensive mansion, wondering which did come first, the chicken or the egg.
That was until his mom came in with a five-year-old boy jumping up and down with a bag of sugar, obviously sugar high.
"Arty," she began in a cheerful tone "I need you to baby-sit your cousin Damien while I'm out."
Ah yes Damien the little whirlwind that spilt soft drink on his laptop, called butler a shaved Hagrid and Artemis a vampire.
Artemis sighed "Very well mother but butler must help." Like the great Artemis fowl the second was going to do anything without his trusty bodyguard.
"Ok Arty dear."
And with that, Angelene left.
Damien promptly ran up to sit on Artemis's lap and look him in the eyes, a little too close for comfort.
"I'm obnoxious!"
Artemis raised an eyebrow.
"Indeed, Butler would you make him take a bath so he doesn't bother me?"
"Yes master Artemis."
Butler moved forward to grab Damien, but, the being the little kid he was, Damien dodged Butler's arms and jumped on top of Artemis yelling "Bother, bother, bother!!!"
Butler finally managed to grab Damien and take him out of the room. Unfortunately five minuets later Damien ran back in wearing nothing but a towel around his neck like a cape and yelling "NAKED TIME!" before proceeding to do a happy little jig a happy little jig.
Artemis REALY didn't need to see that.
"BUTLER!!!"
Butler came ran into the room and seeing the predicament, grabbed Damien and took him out yelling
"Ha-ha! Your name is butt-ler!" in a sing song voice.
Once the door was closed Artemis let out a sigh.
It was going to be a looong summer.