Chapter Five
The fog was as thick as peanut butter. The snow was swirling down so heavily that he could barely see his dogs up ahead as they desperately tried to pull his loaded sleigh.
"Mush!" Yukon Cornelius cried, causing the dogs to yap with eager effort. "Mush!"
"Um, excuse me, but are you sure that this is the way to that gold mine you were telling me about?" a diminutive, blonde elf inquired from his perch atop one of Cornelius' supply sacks. "Because, and pardon me for mentioning this, it is beginning to seem that we are lost."
"Now is that any way to talk, young Howie?" the stocky prospector bellowed over the howling wind.
"Hermie," the young elf corrected. The prospector didn't seem to hear him.
"We're on a grand adventure!" the bearded man continued with lusty enthusiasm. "We're out to dig us some gold! GOLD!" he exclaimed, pulling his pick from his belt and tossing it carelessly into the air. Hermie cringed as it cut through the falling snow, passing right over his pointed, blue hat to land a few meters away. Yukon Cornelius dashed over to retrieve it, causing Hermie's eyes to widen in shock as he licked the cold metal repeatedly with his tongue.
"Ugh," Hermie winced, waiting for the tongue to stick. He was quite surprised when it didn't.
"Nuthin'," the hefty prospector complained, replacing his pick and taking up the reins to his sleigh once again. "Mush!" he called out at the top of his lungs, nearly blowing out Hermie's eardrums. "MUSH!"
"Oooh, please, do you have to be so loud?" Hermie whined.
"Look, Howie--"
"Hermie!"
"Whatever. You're the one who wanted to come with me, remember? That means if you want to stay, we do things my way." He glanced down at the fuming elf. "What was it you said you were running away from again?"
Hermie sighed. "I quit my job at Santa's Workshop because none of the other elves there understand my dream."
"Oh, yeah, that's right! You wanted to be a dancer and they wouldn't let you."
"DENTIST!" Hermie practically yelled. "I want to be a dentist. And no, they wouldn't let me. They just kept telling me it was just a phase and assigned me more ear-wiggling classes." He shuddered, and it wasn't with cold. "I just didn't fit in there. They made me feel like such a misfit--"
Hermie's complaints were rudely cut off by a rumbling, animalistic roar.
"I know that sound," Yukon said, his eyes growing bright. "That's the sound of a hungry Bumble!
Hermie felt a cold shiver run down his spine in response to his companion's tone. "What does that mean?" he asked.
"That means we've likely got some rescuing to do!" He flicked the reins, causing his dogs to yap harder than ever. "Onward!" he bellowed. "Mush! MUSH!"
Hermie sat back on the supply sacks and squeezed his eyes shut. Suddenly, a few extra ear-wiggling classes didn't seem so bad.
Schwarzwald Kurt was a blur of motion as he teleported in and out, fogging the creature's senses with thick clouds of sulfurous smoke. His kicks and punches came faster than the eye could see; all the efforts of the gigantic Abominable to swat him away from his furry head were in vain.
Rudolph and Jamie were huddled under a small outcropping of ice, watching their protector's performance in gape-mouthed astonishment. Suddenly, the two boys were supremely grateful that Schwarzwald Kurt was on their side.
"He has a tail!" Rudolph observed excitedly as Kurt twined the long, sinewy appendage around the Abominable's thick throat in a strangle hold. "Did you notice that before?"
Jamie shook his head. "No. I think it was hidden under his coat or something."
Rudolph nodded, then gasped as the gigantic snow monster collapsed at the knees, causing a dangerous sounding rumble high above them.
"Uh oh," the young reindeer winced.
"What?" Jamie asked. "Why did you say 'uh oh' like that? Schwarzwald Kurt is winning! He's brought the monster to its knees!"
Rudolph stood, his spindly legs trembling beneath him. "Yeah, but when the monster fell he caused the ground to shake. Did you hear that rumble up above us just now?"
Jamie nodded. "Yeah, what of it?"
"I think he may have started an avalanche."
Before Jamie's eyes had the chance to widen, a sudden BAMF brought a very anxious Schwarzwald Kurt to their side.
"Kinder, we must run," he said shortly. "Now. The Abominable Snowman is down, but he is not quite unconscious. More than that, though, I fear his fall has caused an--"
"AVALANCHE!" a deep, lusty voice bellowed through the heavily falling snow. The shrill yapping of terrified dogs filled the darkening air as Jamie, Rudolph, and Kurt raced towards the sound.
"Hop aboard, friends!" Yukon Cornelius shouted to the three figures racing towards him through the swirling snow. "That snow's gonna reach us any minute now, and I don't want to still be here when it does!"
Unwilling to waste a single precious second, Kurt grabbed the two boys and performed a quick teleport, landing the three of them safely on Yukon's sleigh. Hermie coughed, waving the residual teleport smoke from his face.
"Ugh!" he exclaimed, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "What a stink!"
Kurt shot a yellow glare at the elf from behind his hood. Rudolph and Jamie were feeling too queasy to do much more than groan weakly.
"All aboard?" Yukon asked in his usual bellow. "Then let's move!" He cracked the reins, and the heavy sled lurched into motion. "Mush!" he roared over the thunderous rumble of the tumbling wave of snow. "MUSH!"
"Um, pardon me, please," Hermie said after a moment, "but I do believe we're about to be followed."
Kurt, Jamie, Yukon, and Rudolph turned their heads to see the shadowy outline of the Abominable Snowman lurching to its feet through the thickly falling snow. Looking around, it quickly honed in on their small party. Five pairs of eyes widened as one.
"Oh, dear," Jamie commented.
"Indeed," Schwarzwald Kurt remarked, turning to Rudolph with a pointed glance.
"It's my nose!" Rudolph cried. "My stupid, shiny nose! It's leading him right to us!"
"Quick, someone," Yukon shouted, "douse the light!"
Jamie reached out a hand and gently cupped Rudolph's brightly glowing nose. His fingers glowed a bright red, as though he'd cupped them over a light bulb, but it was enough to confuse the Bumble long enough for the dogs to put on a new burst of speed.
"Uh oh!" Rudolph exclaimed, his voice somewhat muzzy now his nose was covered. "I hear water up ahead! We're heading for a dead end!"
Yukon pulled hard at the reins. The sled slid to a stop just in time to avoid crashing headlong into a rushing river.
"Quick," Schwarzwald Kurt said, unsheathing his swords and turning to Yukon Cornelius. "Use your pick. Help me cut us clear of the mainland! It's our only chance to avoid both the Abominable and the avalanche."
With a brisk nod, the bearded man leapt from his perch on the back of the sleigh and began hacking away at the ice. Kurt joined him with his swords. Between the two of them it was the work of less than a minute to create a tiny iceberg island. The youngsters gasped, shrieking in terror as the iceberg spun violently, tipping and swaying as it was cast adrift on the rushing water. Kurt motioned for Cornelius to move to the opposite side of the small iceberg, balancing them out and stopping their nauseating spinning. They steadied themselves just in time to see the Abominable reach the frozen riverbank.
The monster's tiny brain gradually processed what his enormous, dull eyes were telling him. His lunch was getting away, floating down the icy river at a terrible speed. Behind him, a wall of snow, taller than the Abominable himself, was rushing towards him like a tidal wave, carrying huge boulders and uprooted pine trees along for the ride. Slowly, the enormous Snowman came to the realization that he was trapped. There was only one course of action left to him if he was to stand any chance of survival. Dipping a toe into the freezing water, the Abominable took a deep breath and leapt into the air, executing an awkward cannonball. To his shock, and to the delighted laughter of Yukon Cornelius, the Bumble sank like a stone. Barely a moment later, the wave of snow broke, cascading down into the river at the very spot where the Snowman had fallen. There was no way he could have moved out of the way in time to avoid getting buried under several tons of snow, ice, rocks, and trees.
The resulting turbulence from the avalanche rocked the make-shift raft so viciously that it was a miracle the adventurers were not tossed into the river's freezing depths. As it was, their terrified screams could be heard for miles through the cold, silent, wintry air.
It seemed like an eternity before their progress slowed enough for the small group to get their bearings. However, as soon as they were finished giving thanks that they were still breathing and began to feel safe enough to turn their attention to the welfare of their companions, Jamie's eyes widened and his face grew as pale as death itself.
"Oh no," he groaned. "We're going to CRASH!"
"Brace yourselves!" Schwarzwald Kurt called out, leaning back and tilting their iceberg in a desperate attempt to lessen their velocity. Unfortunately, it did little good.
CRACRUNCHSH!
The sleigh was thrown forward, nearly running over the poor dogs as they dashed out of its way and, in an amazing display of synchronization, leapt as one onto its already crowded surface. Jamie, Rudolph, and Hermie covered their eyes, preparing for an inevitable impact with something. Schwarzwald Kurt and Yukon Cornelius were tossed from the iceberg, skidding painfully through the rough snow until they slid to an awkward stop just before a large, colorful sign.
Shaking the snow from his fur-lined hood, Schwarzwald Kurt ignored his bruises and hefted Cornelius to his feet. The two adults stood back to read the sign.
"The Island of Misfit Boys" it read. A rather hastily painted piece of plywood had been nailed underneath. In the hand-written lettering of a child, this smaller sign spelled out, "Girls Welcome!"
Cornelius chuckled and nudged Kurt hard with his elbow. Kurt shot him a glare which the larger man ignored.
"Girls welcome, eh?" he commented with a sly look. "I wonder if that means what I'm thinking it means."
Kurt's glare deepened. "Well, considering the fact that the second sign was painted in pink with little flowers all around it, I would assume that it was painted by a young girl, trying to claim her own right to live on this island."
Cornelius blinked at him. "You've got no sense of humor, friend, you know that don't you?"
Before Kurt could open his mouth to respond, their almost-argument was cut short by a sudden burst of childish laughter coming from their right. Kurt and Cornelius turned to see the sleigh, which had all but vanished into a steep, fluffy snowdrift. The youngsters had already dug themselves out of the soft snow pile and were now working on freeing the dogs from their harness.
"Kinder!" Schwarzwald Kurt called out, cupping a mittened hand to the side of his mouth. "I believe we may have landed on friendly shores! Finish up with the dogs and hurry over here!"
"We're done," Jamie called back. "There's just one little problem."
Concerned, Kurt grabbed Cornelius and teleported over to the sleigh.
"What?" he asked them the instant he materialized. "What is wrong? Are you hurt?"
Rudolph chuckled. "Well, not exactly."
As the adults watched in amazement and the youngsters tried to hold in their giggles, the gigantic snow pile gave a violent tremble, then it collapsed as the sled seemed to push its way free of its own accord. Kurt and Cornelius stood blinking in gape-mouthed astonishment as they came face to face with ten perfect copies of Jamie, all wearing identical grins and all working together to dislodge the sleigh from the powdery snow.
"I told you that was a cool power," Rudolph laughed.