Patience is a Virtue

AN: Thank you so much all for all your ideas and help with deciding the future of this fic. I was very happily surprised to find all the responses waiting for me in my inbox! Whichever way you hoped this story would go, I hope you continue reading anyway! Sorry for the delay on this fic, I had planned on having it up two days ago, but ff.net wasn't letting me upload. In fair warning I will tell you I am one of those people who does not forgive others easily. They have to bitch and grovel for forgiveness if they do something such as Monica did in the story. I hate stories where Monica looks sad, says and Chandler takes one look at her and replies I forgive you. It's not that easy. So if you don't want to see arguments and begging for forgiveness, you won't like this story.

~

The group of five crept quietly into the bare hospital room Monica currently inhabited, carefully not to disturb her sleeping form. It was hard not to notice how ghostly she looked, her pale skin hardly contrasted from the white bed sheets, which were twisted around her small body tightly, no doubt during a fit of restless sleep.

Looking at his former love, Chandler felt slightly guilty for his previous thoughts; he'd wanted nothing to do with Monica. He had wanted nothing more than to kick her out of his life and never see her again, leaving him free to concentrate all his energy on his developing relationship with Rachel, in peace. Looking at her such a fragile state confused him, he tried to convince himself he felt sorry for her and maybe even himself, but something in the back of his mind nagged that wasn't right. He casually chose to ignore it. A task made easier by Rachel slipping her arms around his waist in soft embrace. He could and should be focusing on Rachel, not his past with Monica. Tearing his eyes away from Monica's face, Chandler concentrated all his being into what Rachel was saying.

"Hon, you're scaring me. You've been staring into space since we've entered the room. Say something, Chandler, please!" Rachel begged looking worried.

"Rach, I'm – okay – I think." He pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head, "I'm sorry I scared ya, babe, it's just this is a lot to take in, in less than a twenty-four hours, y'know?"

"I know. Believe me, I know. I just never expected her back, and here she is. I just don't know how she fits into my life anymore. And I am so sorry, I feel so confused about this whole thing; it must be ten times as bad for you."

"It's just a lot to take in, but we can do it. We're strong." He smiled into her eyes/

"Promise?" Rachel asked sounding much younger than her thirty years.

"I promise. C'mon the guys are about to wake her up." Chandler informed Rachel pulling her by her hand to the edge of Monica's hospital bed.

~

Monica opened one blue eye groggily when she felt herself being gingerly shaken awake. Yawning and propping herself up on her elbows for a better view of her visitors, Monica spotted a tall blonde-haired figure leaning over her bed.

"Phoebe?" Monica questioned the figure timidly; still wary of the cold attitude Phoebe had shown her the previous day.

"Uh huh." She answered with a hint of hostility in her voice, "How you feeling Monica?"

"Not too good," Monica admitted guardedly, "I feel like I've been hit by a car."

"Pretty close," Phoebe said, her cold demeanour gone. She seemed to be trying - and failing - to sound positive, "You hit your head on a coffee table. Chandler and Rachel's coffee table to be exact." Monica gasped, the previous night's memories flooding back in a rush. Rachel and Chandler. Engaged, to be married. Suddenly feeling much more awake, Monica burst into a rambling speech.

"Ch-chan-chandler an-and R-r-Rachel?" Monica stuttered, choking on her own words, "They're engaged aren't they?" she asked snippily, "Whoo-boy! I – I'm happy for them, let me tell you, just so happy. After all she is my former best friend and he's the man I love! Loved! I meant loved!! I do not love Chandler. I hope they're happy... together and I mean really happy. Especially Chandler. Well and Rachel too of course." Monica rambled in one quick breath, bursting into tears when she was finished.

"Uh, Monica. You alright there, honey?" A voice asked compassionately.

"Yes, Phoe-" Monica was about to answer and then she realized it was not Phoebe's voice she had heard. She looked up into the eyes of Rachel. Monica felt a deep blush creeping over her cheeks, "I'm sorry Rachel; my outburst was uncalled for I was just – uh – y'know – disoriented. I – um – I really want the best for you and Ch-chandler. " Monica said, not meaning a word she said.

"I know. You're going through a rough time." Rachel answered sitting on the side of Monica's bed, straining to keep her voice even and trying not to hate her former best friend for hurting Chandler.

Monica looked past Rachel and noticed Ross, Joey and Chandler were there too. She turned a shade pinker; had they all heard her stupid outburst? Monica looked down at her white bed sheet, concentrating on the fraying edges of the material.

Monica sat silently watching the group interact with one another. As Ross approached, Phoebe grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers and holding it tightly against her side, in a comforting gesture, which he accepted, gladly. He planted a short peck of appreciation on her lips and hugged her close to him. Chandler rested his chin on Rachel's shoulders, so he could see over the four other people, who had crowded the room and obscured his view. He also wrapped his arms protectively across Rachel's waist. Monica noted Joey looked vaguely out of place leaning slightly against Chandler and Rachel, in a semi-menacing stance. It was clear he was not ready to accept that Monica had no intentions of hurting Chandler and Rachel. Joey may have looked out of place, but it was nothing compared to how out of place Monica felt. Four years had been enough for them to forget her and move on with their lives. They were a group; they were united. Without her.

She tried to be happy for them… but she just couldn't. It wasn't because she was angry, or upset or even sad. She was jealous.

~

"I have good news and bad news!" Ross informed Monica in an overly cheerful voice, as he entered the hospital room the next day. Monica rolled her eyes, wondering what possible good news Ross could bring her.

"Yes?" Monica asked, short-tempered, due to a number of reasons. Mainly the thought of Rachel and Chandler.

"You can come home! Yay!" Ross added, grinning and waving his hands in the air, with false enthusiasm. Phoebe entered, stood near the bed wrapping her left arm around Ross' shoulders carelessly. She looked at Ross, wordlessly encouraging him to continue.

"Was that the good news or the bad news?" Monica asked dryly. Phoebe smiled politely. 'How do you act around someone who you haven't spoken to in four years? Especially when she's always so cynical?' Phoebe thought wearily. She could think of a few dozen things she would rather be doing than sitting here with Monica. Most of them included Ross. She smiled at that thought. But Ross was staying with Monica and she wanted to be with him. She knew Monica was Ross' sister and she had to respect that.

"The good news, I think." Ross replied unsure what to say to his sister, he wasn't used to this new sarcastic, pessimistic side of her, she had always been an open, and generally optimistic person. The thought that she had changed so much scared him somewhat. It brought him little comfort knowing that he had changed, too.

"And the bad news?" Monica asked impatiently. Just what the doctor called for! More stress. More strain. More pressure. More chaos. More problems. Where were all the damn solutions? Coming to New York was supposed to help her not quadruple her constantly growing list of problems.

"Uh. You can't stay with me and Pheebs anymore, Mom is staying with us." Ross gulped, preparing himself for the worst reaction.

"Mom? Oh crap! Just what I need! As if I don't have enough stress in my screwed up life. Yes, yes, it's my fault, I know." Monica snorted sarcastically, "But that doesn't mean I want Mom to tell me – no, maybe that's not the right word – lecture me about all my imperfections and exactly how I managed to screw up my life. I can't do it anymore, Ross. I just can't deal with her and her crap. Sh - She'll just whine and complain and nag an-and criticize me and my life or lack thereof." Monica sniffed.

'Talk about whining and complaining...' Phoebe thought sarcastically. Instead of voicing her opinions, Phoebe thought of what Ross would want and tried comforting Monica.

"Mon. She's not heartless-" Phoebe began lightly, only to be cut off by Monica scoffing.

"What the fuck do you know?" Monica asked, releasing her frustrations on an innocent Phoebe, "You have the perfect life: a live in boyfriend, a good job, a – a good apartment, good friends. What else does a person need, huh? If you give me one, one tiny complaint about your life – let me tell you, you are so, so wrong. Mom has nothing to complain to you about because you have a perfect everything. A perfect life. I on the other hand have nothing. Do you know how much it hurts to see all of you happy? Especially Chandler? When I left him I was miserable. And I have been since. But he's not. He's – he's happy. He's going to be married. To Rachel." Monica sniffled, feeling very sorry for herself. Phoebe found she had little sympathy for Monica at the moment.

"Whose damn fault is it that you no longer have any of those things? You had the perfect life: a live in boyfriend, a good job, a good apartment, good friends, but then you left. It's not my fault you decided to skip out on your life. I didn't push you through the door and force you to abandon us. That was your own choice. You made the wrong one. Deal with it. You – You'd rather just complain and bitch about your life than try to fix it. Don't put the blame on us. You don't know half of what has happened since you left. Did you know Chandler was diagnosed with depression about 6 months after you left? Did you know that Rachel has suffered two miscarriages? That Joey was in an alcohol rehab for nearly six months? Don't pretend it was a little fairy tale for us, Monica. We had to work to get where we are now. Don't expect any sympathy from me, Monica." Phoebe fumed, storming out of the room. Ross watched his girlfriend huff out the door, however, stayed to try and calm his sister. He knew she would understand. Phoebe had Rachel, Chandler and Joey. Monica had no one.

"Wha – what?"

"Mom loves you." Ross insisted meekly, defending his mother, "She just has trouble showing she cares. She missed you, Mon. You have no idea how worried she was when we told her you were gone, I think her exact words were: 'My baby girl! Ross! How could you let her escape?'" Ross paused, "See she cares, she's just a little different at expressing it."

"No, Ross! I meant what Phoebe said about Chandler, Rachel and Joey?" Monica asked incredulously, "Is it all true?"

"Well, yes – maybe – sort of –"

"H- how? Why? What happened after?"

"You sure you want to hear this?"

"Yes." Monica said feeling very ashamed of her conversation – if it could be called that – with Phoebe. Phoebe was right. She knew nothing about them anymore.

"Oohkay, if you say so. When Joey felt the group was falling apart, he took it hard. He started drinking. First it was just a glass to calm him down, next it was a several drinks a day, until finally he was drinking bottles a day. He drank nearly everyday for a year, and none of us knew about it, we didn't see him much at all, we thought he was focused on his acting career. He realized he had a problem about a year and a half after you left. He confronted us and asked us to help him. Rachel and Chandler encouraged him, even though they had their own problems – Chandler was depressed after you left him. He took it the hardest of all I think. He was always in the apartment, he never went out, hardly ate. He was miserable. Rachel had her first miscarriage shortly after-"

Monica interrupted anxiously, "Was it Chandler's baby? He was over me and dating other people in six months?"

"No, no, it wasn't Chandler's kid. The father was some guy she only seen a few times and never introduced to us. Stefan or Steven or something. He wanted nothing to do with his kid. Anyways, Rachel and Chandler helped each other out a lot; it was a really hard time for both of them. When Phoebe and Rachel's apartment burned down, Rachel decided to live with Chandler. They became the really close. Rachel moved in to the apartment with Chandler, into the guest bedroom. They wanted to be close together, they found it helped them deal with problems when the other was nearby. They were still platonic at the time. So when Phoebe's new apartment was ready, Rachel chose to stay with Chandler. About six months after that they started dating. So almost 2 years after you left."

"Oh" Monica said, not knowing what else to say, "But didn't Phoebe say Rachel had two miscarriages?"

"Yeah, Rachel had her second miscarriage shortly after her and Chandler's first anniversary. Both were devastated. But kept together, they felt to strongly to let it ruin their relationship." Ross said, his last sentence holding a not-so-subtle warning.

"I never knew. I'm so sorry Ross; I'm just confused and upset. I'm so sorry. I really don't mean to take my frustrations out on you or Phoebe or anyone!"

"It's okay, Mon, don't worry." Monica smiled slightly, that had been the first time anyone had called her 'Mon' in four years. Strangely, she had missed the nickname she once rolled her eyes at.

"Thank you."

"What I came here to tell you in the first place is you can't stay with Phoebe and I, because Mom is coming overnight."

"But if I can't stay with you – whom can I stay with? Joey?"

"Not exactly. Joey lives in a one-bedroom studio apartment a few minutes away. He doesn't have an extra room. Unless you count his couch." Ross joked weakly.

"Oh." Monica said, breezing past Ross' comment, "Do I have to find a hotel then?"

"Um – no. You can stay at Rachel and Chandler's apartment in their extra bedroom?" Ross half-asked, half-stated hopefully.

"Oh-ho no! You have got to be kidding me! There is absolutely no way in hell I am staying with my ex-boyfriend who I may possibly – um – have feelings for and his fiancée, no fucking way Ross. Just no. I'd rather sleep on Joey's couch."

"They're the only ones with space. Please Monica? I was kidding about Joey's couch. You're sick. Someone needs to wake you up every hour. Do you honestly trust Joey to do that? You can't stay on a couch anyway."

"Yuh-huh. I can. And will."

"No you won't. Rachel and Chandler have already agreed to let you stay with them Mon. And you will! There will be no compromising. Whether you will believe it or not, I don't know, but they both miss you and are as terrified of hurting you as you are terrified of hurting either them." Ross stated knowledgeably.

"What are you? A mind reader?"

"Nope, but pretty good, huh? Pheebs taught me a few things about reading people's facial and bodily expressions more accurately. I can interpret other people's feelings pretty well now." Ross said proudly, "Pheebs is really good at teaching all that stuff, y'know."

"Yeah," Monica paused, "Thanks, Ross. You really are a good big brother..."

"I know." Ross smiled slightly before turning to leave, "Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler and Joey don't hate you, Monica. They love you. All of them. They just need some time to adjust, they'll come around eventually, just let them do it in their own time." He said quietly as he shut the door behind him.

~

AN: I know this chapter doesn't really establish anything, or indicate in any way which route this story is going, Chandler and Monica or Chandler and Rachel wise. However, it is setting up the future chapters. I now have a vague idea where this story is headed. I've read all the reviews and taken into consideration what everyone has said, thanks for the help. Since I have two days of school left, I should be able to have another chapter up sometime in the next one or two weeks.

Please review and tell me your thoughts!