Goodbye
By
One-Winged Angel
Touji placed the tea on the table; he went and sat down on the couch, next to Hikari. I sat opposite of him in a green chair Touji probably used for relaxation on weekends. He looked at me intently waiting for an explanation on what my purpose of being in their house was. It had been 10 minutes since I arrived at Touji's house; this was my last stop before the train station.
'I hope the train isn't late'
"So, what are you doing here, Shinji? Asuka kicked you out again?" Touji said with a big laugh. The laugh subsided as he looked at me, "What happened man, you look pretty serious. It's not like those other times, right?"
"Yeah, Shinji. What happened between you and Asuka?" Hikari suddenly asked.
" I decided to leave Asuka."
"What? But you guys get along great, just like how you always do! You just can't turn your back on her like that. She really cares for you, and I know now that she's not so bad after all."
"No, you don't understand, I'm leaving because I love her, but I know she doesn't love me. I can tell by the things she says, the things she does, it's like I'm a tool for her. She doesn't see me as I see her. I don't even think that she cares for me at all. I want her to have the kind of life where she'll be happy, seeing her happy gives me great joy already, even if she is in someone else's arms."
"You're wrong Shinji, she does care for you a lot, she just doesn't know how to express it well, she suffered from intense psychological trauma, you know. She has been my best friend for a long time now, I should know a great deal about her. I know, deep in her heart, she cares for you a lot. She may even love you"
I sighed, and I stood up walked around the couch, to look at a painting. The painting was abstract, like a mosaic. It was painted with lots of colors and different splashes of paint. It looked like a dog made it. Nonetheless, it was still considered a piece of art. It was strange, how something, like blotches of paint bunched up together, could be considered something very expensive. But, somehow, he could see why the painting was so valuable.
I was still looking at the painting when I spoke.
"It's like this painting, it's something that cannot be understood. It's meaning cannot be deciphered, except by those who devote their lives to studying art forms like this. Asuka is the painting and I'm the one studying her. I've known her for a long time, and yet she is still quite a mystery to me. She is beyond comprehension. She's like the lone tree that stands out in front of the others, somebody different from all the others."
I turned to face them.
"She can be so moody; at times she can be frustrating as hell, in other instances she can be as nice as Santa Claus. She can be a real enigma, a puzzle that I'm still trying to solve. Maybe that's why I love her, because she's special. She's not like those other girls who are always acting weak, but actually just trying to snag men, she's not afraid to express her emotions, she lets them pour out like a gushing river. She's not afraid to express herself, in anyway possible."
"That was a good speech, Shinji, all the more reason you should stay with Asuka. I've seen you have a happier attitude, since you've married Asuka. She lights up your life, and you know it."
I looked at Touji; this was surprising, especially coming from Touji. He really has changed from being a jock to a considerate young man, who knows how to understand other people's feelings. This was far from the Touji I knew four years ago, he would've just scratched his head and say "Huh?"
I smiled at him. I proceeded to sit down once again at the same old leather couch that I sat on before.
"You really have changed haven't you, Touji? I guess having Hikari as wife, made you a little more emphatic to people's feelings."
Touji blushed a little at that remark.
"Well, sometimes people change, and hearing what you've said, it looks like I've changed for the better."
"You have, and it's a good thing too, I'm glad you regard Asuka as a friend now."
"Well, after you get to know her for a while, she's not all that bad after all. Anyway, have you changed your mind about your decision?"
"No, I haven't. I believe this will better for both of us. I would rather let her be happy with someone else, than be sad with me. She's deserves someone else who's better than me, someone who could give her everything she wants."
"You don't understand, she does love you, you're the greatest thing that happened to her in her entire life. Even though she still does those things she did before, she does them with less frequency and not that fierce anymore."
Hikari's words rang some truths, but I was still convinced that what I was doing was for the good of both of us.
"I just want what's best for Asuka. I know this is what's right."
"You sure you want this, Shinji? If it is we won't stop you, you know that."
"I want this, I want to go. I now this will be all for the better."
I stood again and faced the door and reached for the knob. I started to twist the knob, when Hikari suddenly stood and glared vehemently at me. She then slapped me, it really hurt, but at first I was shocked, shocked at why she did that. I looked at her and brought my hand to where her hand had slapped me before.
I felt the bruise, it was swelling a little, and I assumed it looked like a little purple spot. It was then I felt the pain, not that much painful, but it stung.
"She doesn't want this! She's just doesn't want to be lonely anymore, but she's scared. She's scared of rejection, but you have to show her that that's wrong. She doesn't need to hurt anymore; she doesn't have to be lonely anymore. I know she loves you in her heart, she just finds it very hard to express it. I'm not a mind reader but I sure do know that she loves you a whole lot. You need to stop thinking with your brain, and start thinking with your heart. It's important to think with your heart as well, do not let hasty judgements be the reason why you lost the one you love!"
Hikari said those words with such ferocity that a lion catching it's prey pales in comparison with the intensity that Hikari exhibited.
"Maybe that's what will happen, maybe that's my fate, I don't know." I turned and looked at them.
"That's why I'm doing this, to find the answers I seek. To find what's my fate. Maybe I'm destined to be with Asuka, maybe I'm supposed to live my life in constant destitution. I want to see it for my own eyes."
I knew that my cryptic explanation made them even more confused, but all those words were true, that was the real reason why I ran away in the first place. To see if she really cares about me, to see if she really loves me.
"Look man, I'm confused. I thought you were going out of Tokyo-3."
"That's right, I am."
"Then how are you going to find out if you belong with Asuka?"
"I can't tell you it's between just Asuka and me. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. This is the right path to take."
"I really do hope you know what you're doing. Asuka will be devastated if you left."
I smiled at Hikari; her loyalty to her friends was one trait that I always admired about Hikari. No matter how bad that person was. She knew that they had to have a good side. She's one of the only few people who can tolerate Asuka. Other people don't act like Hikari, they just judge Asuka by her attitude, but they don't know the woman beneath the mask that she always uses to hide from the outside world. The one she uses to push away everybody else, because of fear, fear of rejection.
"I know, and I hope too that it won't come to that."
I looked at my watch; it read eleven thirty.
"I need to go right now."
"And if everything turns out right, maybe today won't be the last day I get to see you."
I opened the door and walked through it and turned to them again.
"Sayonara."
I walked down the front lawn of Touji and Hikari's house. It looked really beautiful, a two-story house. The roof was painted a light green and the walls were coated with white paint. It looked like a typical house, but I knew that the two people inside weren't just ordinary people. They were two individuals who had to overcome many obstacles to get to where they are right now.
I walked down the to the street, and went to the train station. It was a short trip, since the train station was just a few blocks away. Touji said that it would be convenient to have a house near the train station.
I looked up at the flashing neon sign, and then glanced at my watch once again. It was eleven forty-five. The train was leaving at twelve-fifteen. I hope she would come in those 30 precious minutes that would decide his fate.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I'm sorry that I'm very late with this chapter; I had a ton of schoolwork, and a lot of other stuff that came up.
Anyway this fic is almost ending, and I hope that the ending won't disappoint you.
I think it's just two more chapters, and then it's the end. Maybe I'll write an epilogue, I'm not sure yet.
Thank you to all my reviewers.
Domo Arigato,
(Bows)
One-Winged Angel
By
One-Winged Angel
Touji placed the tea on the table; he went and sat down on the couch, next to Hikari. I sat opposite of him in a green chair Touji probably used for relaxation on weekends. He looked at me intently waiting for an explanation on what my purpose of being in their house was. It had been 10 minutes since I arrived at Touji's house; this was my last stop before the train station.
'I hope the train isn't late'
"So, what are you doing here, Shinji? Asuka kicked you out again?" Touji said with a big laugh. The laugh subsided as he looked at me, "What happened man, you look pretty serious. It's not like those other times, right?"
"Yeah, Shinji. What happened between you and Asuka?" Hikari suddenly asked.
" I decided to leave Asuka."
"What? But you guys get along great, just like how you always do! You just can't turn your back on her like that. She really cares for you, and I know now that she's not so bad after all."
"No, you don't understand, I'm leaving because I love her, but I know she doesn't love me. I can tell by the things she says, the things she does, it's like I'm a tool for her. She doesn't see me as I see her. I don't even think that she cares for me at all. I want her to have the kind of life where she'll be happy, seeing her happy gives me great joy already, even if she is in someone else's arms."
"You're wrong Shinji, she does care for you a lot, she just doesn't know how to express it well, she suffered from intense psychological trauma, you know. She has been my best friend for a long time now, I should know a great deal about her. I know, deep in her heart, she cares for you a lot. She may even love you"
I sighed, and I stood up walked around the couch, to look at a painting. The painting was abstract, like a mosaic. It was painted with lots of colors and different splashes of paint. It looked like a dog made it. Nonetheless, it was still considered a piece of art. It was strange, how something, like blotches of paint bunched up together, could be considered something very expensive. But, somehow, he could see why the painting was so valuable.
I was still looking at the painting when I spoke.
"It's like this painting, it's something that cannot be understood. It's meaning cannot be deciphered, except by those who devote their lives to studying art forms like this. Asuka is the painting and I'm the one studying her. I've known her for a long time, and yet she is still quite a mystery to me. She is beyond comprehension. She's like the lone tree that stands out in front of the others, somebody different from all the others."
I turned to face them.
"She can be so moody; at times she can be frustrating as hell, in other instances she can be as nice as Santa Claus. She can be a real enigma, a puzzle that I'm still trying to solve. Maybe that's why I love her, because she's special. She's not like those other girls who are always acting weak, but actually just trying to snag men, she's not afraid to express her emotions, she lets them pour out like a gushing river. She's not afraid to express herself, in anyway possible."
"That was a good speech, Shinji, all the more reason you should stay with Asuka. I've seen you have a happier attitude, since you've married Asuka. She lights up your life, and you know it."
I looked at Touji; this was surprising, especially coming from Touji. He really has changed from being a jock to a considerate young man, who knows how to understand other people's feelings. This was far from the Touji I knew four years ago, he would've just scratched his head and say "Huh?"
I smiled at him. I proceeded to sit down once again at the same old leather couch that I sat on before.
"You really have changed haven't you, Touji? I guess having Hikari as wife, made you a little more emphatic to people's feelings."
Touji blushed a little at that remark.
"Well, sometimes people change, and hearing what you've said, it looks like I've changed for the better."
"You have, and it's a good thing too, I'm glad you regard Asuka as a friend now."
"Well, after you get to know her for a while, she's not all that bad after all. Anyway, have you changed your mind about your decision?"
"No, I haven't. I believe this will better for both of us. I would rather let her be happy with someone else, than be sad with me. She's deserves someone else who's better than me, someone who could give her everything she wants."
"You don't understand, she does love you, you're the greatest thing that happened to her in her entire life. Even though she still does those things she did before, she does them with less frequency and not that fierce anymore."
Hikari's words rang some truths, but I was still convinced that what I was doing was for the good of both of us.
"I just want what's best for Asuka. I know this is what's right."
"You sure you want this, Shinji? If it is we won't stop you, you know that."
"I want this, I want to go. I now this will be all for the better."
I stood again and faced the door and reached for the knob. I started to twist the knob, when Hikari suddenly stood and glared vehemently at me. She then slapped me, it really hurt, but at first I was shocked, shocked at why she did that. I looked at her and brought my hand to where her hand had slapped me before.
I felt the bruise, it was swelling a little, and I assumed it looked like a little purple spot. It was then I felt the pain, not that much painful, but it stung.
"She doesn't want this! She's just doesn't want to be lonely anymore, but she's scared. She's scared of rejection, but you have to show her that that's wrong. She doesn't need to hurt anymore; she doesn't have to be lonely anymore. I know she loves you in her heart, she just finds it very hard to express it. I'm not a mind reader but I sure do know that she loves you a whole lot. You need to stop thinking with your brain, and start thinking with your heart. It's important to think with your heart as well, do not let hasty judgements be the reason why you lost the one you love!"
Hikari said those words with such ferocity that a lion catching it's prey pales in comparison with the intensity that Hikari exhibited.
"Maybe that's what will happen, maybe that's my fate, I don't know." I turned and looked at them.
"That's why I'm doing this, to find the answers I seek. To find what's my fate. Maybe I'm destined to be with Asuka, maybe I'm supposed to live my life in constant destitution. I want to see it for my own eyes."
I knew that my cryptic explanation made them even more confused, but all those words were true, that was the real reason why I ran away in the first place. To see if she really cares about me, to see if she really loves me.
"Look man, I'm confused. I thought you were going out of Tokyo-3."
"That's right, I am."
"Then how are you going to find out if you belong with Asuka?"
"I can't tell you it's between just Asuka and me. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. This is the right path to take."
"I really do hope you know what you're doing. Asuka will be devastated if you left."
I smiled at Hikari; her loyalty to her friends was one trait that I always admired about Hikari. No matter how bad that person was. She knew that they had to have a good side. She's one of the only few people who can tolerate Asuka. Other people don't act like Hikari, they just judge Asuka by her attitude, but they don't know the woman beneath the mask that she always uses to hide from the outside world. The one she uses to push away everybody else, because of fear, fear of rejection.
"I know, and I hope too that it won't come to that."
I looked at my watch; it read eleven thirty.
"I need to go right now."
"And if everything turns out right, maybe today won't be the last day I get to see you."
I opened the door and walked through it and turned to them again.
"Sayonara."
I walked down the front lawn of Touji and Hikari's house. It looked really beautiful, a two-story house. The roof was painted a light green and the walls were coated with white paint. It looked like a typical house, but I knew that the two people inside weren't just ordinary people. They were two individuals who had to overcome many obstacles to get to where they are right now.
I walked down the to the street, and went to the train station. It was a short trip, since the train station was just a few blocks away. Touji said that it would be convenient to have a house near the train station.
I looked up at the flashing neon sign, and then glanced at my watch once again. It was eleven forty-five. The train was leaving at twelve-fifteen. I hope she would come in those 30 precious minutes that would decide his fate.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I'm sorry that I'm very late with this chapter; I had a ton of schoolwork, and a lot of other stuff that came up.
Anyway this fic is almost ending, and I hope that the ending won't disappoint you.
I think it's just two more chapters, and then it's the end. Maybe I'll write an epilogue, I'm not sure yet.
Thank you to all my reviewers.
Domo Arigato,
(Bows)
One-Winged Angel