Always and Forever

AN: Yes, I still write stuff (if you even remember me.) It has been at least 3 months since I last wrote anything so, anyone reading this may have to go back and read the rest of the story again. School and a million other things have gotten in the way of writing, sorry, I'll try to update stuff more often from now on. BTW, this is a very R&C-filled chapter so if you don't like that pairing I suggest not reading.

~

Chandler watched the door Rachel had thrown open slam against the counter, frozen to his spot. He observed the scene before him in complete silence, tears blurring his view. He felt empty. Completely and totally numb. He couldn't speak, let alone think. He had just lost his best friend and fiancée. And it wasn't even his fault! That was more than enough permission to feel sorry for himself. Wasn't it?

He crumpled into a heap on to the floor next to Monica, hugging his knees and rocking himself back and forth slowly. He refused to look at her, let alone make eye contact. They sat on the floor silently for minutes before Chandler broke the oddly comfortable silence. 

"Monica?" he murmured, his voice cracking with emotion he was very unsuccessfully trying to hide. He turned to face her, slowly, not sure if he wanted to see her face and even more unsure what he wanted to say to this woman. She was not the same Monica he had once known. She was cold and cynical. She was someone he didn't want to get to know better or even attempt to be friendly with.

Monica glanced up at Chandler hopefully. She forced herself to meet his eyes, feeling beyond ashamed when she saw his tearstained face.

Chandler was crying. Chandler hated to cry.

The tears only served to magnify the blue of his eyes and make him appear more childlike and innocent: almost angelic. 'How could I ever have taken such complete advantage of him, ignoring and toying with his emotions all at once? How could I have hurt him? Not just once but multiple times?'  Monica berated herself, wishing she had a decent answer to her own question.

The now familiar intensity of his eyes still frightened her, "Y-yes?"

"I. Hate. You." Chandler whispered so softly, his voice was barely audible. Those three quiet words hit her harder and hurt much more than a lengthy screaming match would have.

Chandler watched as Monica's face crumpled in shock and hurt. Feeling satisfied he turned his back to her.

He continued to rock himself slowly back and forth on the floor, crying into his knees. He didn't have enough energy to pick himself up. He flinched in shock when Monica tapped him gently on the shoulder. He'd told he hated her. If she didn't understand that she was the last person on the planet he wanted to talk to at that precise moment, then she had another thing coming. He ignored her.

Monica took the silence at consent to continue, "I'm sorry, really, really sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I never really meant to hurt you. I love you. I'm so sorry." She pleaded desperately, "Please let me make it up to you."

Chandler picked up the nearest object, a couch cushion and threw it as hard as he could, it hit the fridge and bounced on to the counter knocking off a few magazines and a glass, which shattered upon impact, "How could you possibly help me? Don't you think you've done enough, already?" he replied, his tone hard and icy.

"I know, I don't deserve a second chance, but I'm begging you, please." Monica pleaded sincerely.

"You're right you don't." Chandler answered shortly. At that moment, the will to get away from Monica as soon as possible outweighed his will to not move. He pried himself off the hardwood floor, muttering spitefully at Monica, "I'm going to find Rachel, I need be with her now. I need to be with someone who actually has feelings. I need to be away from you."

With one last spite-filled glare at Monica he marched angrily towards the open door, slamming it shut as hard as he could. On the other side of the door, with a barrier between himself and Monica he suddenly felt his anger melt away, replaced with a growing worry for Rachel. How had he allowed himself to waste those precious 10 minutes sulking and feeling sorry for himself over Monica? He should have been worrying and searching for his soon-to-be-wife, not moping over an ex-girlfriend.

Not that he really needed to search for her at all… He had a sneaking suspicion he knew where she was headed already. Feeling energized at the thought of finding Rachel and having her back in his arms (he hoped) he took off, jumping down the stairs three at a time praying his guessing of her whereabouts was right.

~

Rachel leaned against the stone fountain, watching the cool water sway around the pool calmly, making the sunken coins shimmer. Watching the water was calming, she only wished that it didn't remind her so much of Chandler's eyes.

She needed to think objectively which was proving quite difficult as everything around her reminded her of Chandler in some way, shape or form.  The faces of all those who passed by melted into Chandler's, the sparkling water was his eyes… and Central Park itself carried so many memories of them together which made it downright impossible to think about anything but him.

Trying her best to clear her thoughts Rachel sat on the stone fountain, trying to sort out all the information thrown at her in the past week.  She loved Chandler, she knew she did, but couldn't help but feel insecure about how he felt about her. Had he ever really loved her? Or was she just a replacement for Monica? He had felt so genuine in his feelings towards her. Or was he simply a good actor?

The image of Monica sitting in Chandler's lap, her hands in his hair, kissing him passionately, felt as if it had been permanently imprinted on her brain. She could remember the slightest details, all of which made her sick to her stomach. That image more than anything else was what swayed her thoughts. How could he kiss Monica like that if he truly loved Rachel?  Rachel almost wanted to go back and beg him for the truth, but was too afraid she would catch Monica and Chandler doing something much more passionate than kissing. After all, it had been 20 minutes since she had stormed out. If either of them cared about her at all they'd be out looking for her, and she subconsciously knew this was the first place Chandler would look for her. She was maybe even hoping he would look for her.

Rachel settled on the cold stone, pressing her head into her hands, forcing herself not to allow a single tear to pass through her eyes. He didn't deserve her tears; he didn't deserve anyone's tears. She felt something cold and metallic against her face, and pulled back to inspect her hand, realizing it was her engagement ring. She twirled it around her finger slowly, just looking at the green and white stones embedded into the white gold, remembering his proposal, how they'd both cried, how all that time he was wishing she was Monica, how he'd been taking her for a fool.

Suddenly angry, Rachel twisted the ring off her finger and turned around, prepared to throw it into the fountain, cursing the water once more for reminding her of Chandler's eyes. She raised her hand to throw the ring, caught off-guard when a strong hand wrapped around her wrist stopping her from completing the movement.

"Don't. Please." Chandler's voice whispered from behind her, but it was too late the damage had been done, the ring sailed out of her hand, calmly broke the surface of the water and sunk, mingling with the coins on the bottom of the fountain.

Rachel stared at the rippled water the extent of what she had done hitting her like a stone. Chandler looked shocked too. He was broken out of his reverie by Rachel struggling slightly against the hand that was still wrapped around her wrist. Noticing he blushed and dropped her hand gently.

"How did you find me?" She asked even though she already knew what his answer would be.

"This is our spot. I just had this feeling you'd come here," He answered vaguely. They stood in silence for a moment, both unsure how to begin a conversation. Chandler was first to speak.

"Rach, Sweetie, you've got to hear me out. Please." He begged trying to read her eyes.

"I think your actions spoke well enough for you. I come home to grab some pyjamas and found you kissing Monica. I don't need you to explain anything to me. There's nothing to be explained." Rachel informed coolly, avoiding his eyes.

Chandler persisted, ignoring Rachel's previous words, "I didn't do anything. I swear it was only Monica. She kissed me. Please Rach, you've got to believe me. I love you and only you. When Monica kissed me all I could think about was you and how I would be hurting you when I promised I never would. Ask her yourself. Please, please, please, Rachel. I love you." He begged desperately, getting on his knees to be at eye level with her. He grasped her hands tightly, and bit his lip awaiting her reaction.

"I-I doesn't think so Chandler.  You really did have me fooled, I really truly thought you loved me, but all this time I've only been a replacement for Monica, haven't I? You probably bought that ring for Monica didn't you? She just wasn't here for you to give it to. So you gave it to me instead!"

"No, no Rach! You've got it all wrong. I do love you. That ring, it was meant for you. The moment I saw it I knew." She looked at him in a way that informed him she still refused to believe him. He bit his lip trying to think of ways to prove himself to Rachel.

 Rachel watched in absolute shock as he climbed into the fountain, shoes, socks and all. He wadded in the shin deep water to where her ring had fallen and retrieved it, wadding back in her direction, "Rach, this ring is yours, just look closer." He handed her the ring carefully.

She peered down at the ring, inspecting it carefully wondering what he was talking about it. There was nothing different about this ring, which made it special. She turned the ring in her hands searching for an answer. Quite suddenly she realized something was written on the ring. Inscribed in miniscule writing on the inside of the band was a message she had never noticed before. She read it aloud, "Darling Rachel, I'll Love You Always and Forever."

How had she never noticed it before? She had been wearing this ring for months, surely she would have noticed. Such a simple message with a complicated meaning suddenly had her emotions awhirl again; something so sweet couldn't have been a part of a fake relationship, could it? Instead of pondering anymore, Rachel settled for questioning Chandler, "How… How come you never mentioned this to me before?" she asked suspiciously.

Chandler looked so shy and embarrassed for a moment Rachel almost kissed him as the familiar warm feeling filled her chest. She stopped herself quickly letting Chandler explain, "You never were supposed to notice, it was just like a silent promise from me to you, that made that ring have a sort of special hidden meaning. Y'know what I mean?" He glanced at her anxiously, before returning his eyes to his feet.

"I think – I think I do." She smiled slightly; all her doubts about his love for her suddenly washed away. His explanation might not have made sense to many others, but it made sense to her and that was all that mattered.

He took the ring from her hand, softly, grabbing her left hand and placing the ring on her third finger, "Rach, I know you hate me right now, but I also know I can't live without you. When you agreed to marry me you agreed to forever, you can't break your promise now or ever and neither could I. I love you. Always and Forever."

When he professed his love for her, for the first time that night Rachel allowed herself to believe him and revelled in the words she had missed despite the fact he had said them only minutes ago, only now they had meaning. She allowed him to pull her on his lap, hardly noticing his wet clothes, only the man that wore them. She kissed him letting go of all the frustration and anger she had felt in the past few hours and soaked in the comforting familiar feel of his kiss, and his arms around her. She had her Chandler back and that was all that she could dream of at that moment.

Okay, so I lied, this might not be the last chapter. There may be one more, to help resolve all the (unresolved) issues between Monica and Chandler and Rachel, if there is any demand to have those loose ends tied up, if not I think this is quite a nice ending spot.

Oh and yes I do know the last half of this chapter is sugar sweet without nay real form of plot and that Chandler's engraved message is beyond tacky, but I am not good with the romantic stuff, you're lucky I squeezed in any at all:)