AN: Yes. Tic-tacs. Read it and enjoy the minty freshness.
Props to Gypsy for coming up with the ship's name.
Falco: PIPPIN SINGING!!! It made me cry -sniffles- I mean... um... Yeah, red eyes. It'll be explained later...
Kez: Longer chapter? Well, I smooshed two of them together for this one, so here you go!
Hotshot: Glad you like the story... but don't die! That would be, ehm... really bad. Hee, this will differ from the movies quite a bit, it's just that the beginning sounded like, well... The Matrix.
Gypsy: You crazy nut... -shakes head-
-----
He dropped to the ground as the arm let him go, and he looked around him, bewildered and scared shitless.
"Gyps! Ahoy, we got him!" Hyland said as he grabbed Spot by the arm and pulled him up. "And welcome aboard The Space Monkey."
"Hey! Let go of me! You... you... just let me go!" He struggled violently against Hyland's grip, but Hyland wouldn't budge.
"Oh, quit yer whinging, you pansy!" Jester yelled from the control panel, pulling back on the red lever and ascending into the sky. Gypsy walked over to Spot and Hyland, an annoyed look on her face.
"You just never know when to quit, do you? You have absolutely no idea what these things are doing to you..." she muttered and led them into a small room, Spot kicking and screaming the whole way.
"Hey, Gyps!" Jester called out.
"Yeah?" Gypsy asked, sticking her head out of the doorway.
"Catch." Jester tossed an NES gun to her. "You might need it."
"Thanks."
Hyland had managed to strap Spot into a chair by his ankles, though his hands were still free and trying desperately to free his feet as well.
"What the hell is this? It's not rope. And where the hell am I? What are you trying to do to me?" Spot asked desperately. Gypsy sat down calmly across from him. She held out both of her hands, and in her palms were two pill-shaped objects, one orange, one green.
"Pick one," she said.
"What?" Spot asked, confused.
"Just pick one, already, you flibbertigibbet," Hyland muttered through his teeth.
"Flibberti-what?" Spot asked.
"PICK ONE, DAMMIT!" they both yelled. Gypsy's eye twitched, and Hyland looked severely annoyed.
Spot hesitantly stuck his hand out and reached for the green one. He looked at it with confusion.
"Put it in your mouth and wait." Spot looked at Gypsy warily, but placed the green object in his mouth and waited. It slowly began to dissolve, leaving an odd taste in his mouth. He breathed in, and found the air surprisingly cold against his throat.
"What was that for?" he said.
"Your breath. They're called Tic-Tacs," Hyland said, and he motioned for the three of them to leave the room.
As they exited the small room, Jester swiveled around in her chair. "Oi! Which one did he pick?" she called out across the main deck.
"Spearmint," Gypsy said.
"He picked the green one? What the crap?! I've lost all respect for you. Even a feckin' BABY would've picked orange over spearmint," Jester muttered. But Spot didn't seem to pay her any attention. He was too fascinated by the minty freshness that now inhabited his mouth.
"Spot, do you know what a Mary Sue Author is?" Gypsy asked.
"A what?"
"Oi, this is going to take a lot of work," Jester sighed, leaning back in her chair and spinning around in circles.
"A Mary Sue Author is a rejected scientist from the 20th century. They were researching stem cells and different cloning methods when a precocious yet seemingly charming 10 year-old girl by the name of Jewel was used in an cloning experiment. When the government found out about the use of a child in a scientific experiment, the Mary Sue Authors were exiled to a remote island near the equator. They have since attempted to recreate this experiment, and the products of such experiments have been far and varied, but with one similarity..." Gypsy explained, and was cut off rudely.
"Yeah, they're all a prissy bunch of bimbos," Jester injected.
"Exactly. They all possess an obscene amount of so-called perfect qualities, which are often very conflicting. Examples of these would be impeccable appearances as well as lack of care for appearances, masculinity as well as femininity, and bilingualism as well as the incapability of speaking in any other accent but a New York accent."
"I think you've just described every single one of my girlfriends," Spot said, rubbing his temples.
"Oh! Goodie! Are we getting through to the whoremonger yet?" Hyland said sarcastically. Spot glared at him.
"And what does this all have to do with me, exactly?" Spot asked.
"What does it have to do with you? Are you daft? Have you not noticed that they have TARGETED YOU? Why do you think you're always finding lost rich girls in the alley? Or orphans who randomly show up at the lodging house? Are you completely oblivious to the fact that you are..." Hyland began ranting, but was cut off by Gypsy with a warning stare.
"Not yet, Hyland. He doesn't need to know yet," she told him. "Look, Spot, you're one of the most highly-rated Mary Sue targets in fandom. Every time you find one, they will begin to take more and more out of your character until you're barely recognizable. You will become..."
"A romantic lead," Hyland spat acidly.
"Harsh..." Jester said. "Poor kid."
"Wait, a what? A ROMANTIC LEAD?! But... that's Jack. Or Mush. Or... not me! I'm not the romantic lead! I'm the fearless leader of Brooklyn, not some flower-carrying poem-reciting song-singing."
"Pansy?" Jester interjected.
"Damn straight!" Spot said.
"You better get to sleep. We start training tomorrow," Hyland suggested, and with a "pop" from the NES gun, he disappeared. Gypsy pointed it at Jester, who also disappeared with a "pop", before turning it on herself and leaving Spot alone on the middle of the main deck.
"Wait, training for what? Where do I go? What the..." Spot ranted, before realizing he was alone.
Falco: PIPPIN SINGING!!! It made me cry -sniffles- I mean... um... Yeah, red eyes. It'll be explained later...
Kez: Longer chapter? Well, I smooshed two of them together for this one, so here you go!
Hotshot: Glad you like the story... but don't die! That would be, ehm... really bad. Hee, this will differ from the movies quite a bit, it's just that the beginning sounded like, well... The Matrix.
Gypsy: You crazy nut... -shakes head-
-----
He dropped to the ground as the arm let him go, and he looked around him, bewildered and scared shitless.
"Gyps! Ahoy, we got him!" Hyland said as he grabbed Spot by the arm and pulled him up. "And welcome aboard The Space Monkey."
"Hey! Let go of me! You... you... just let me go!" He struggled violently against Hyland's grip, but Hyland wouldn't budge.
"Oh, quit yer whinging, you pansy!" Jester yelled from the control panel, pulling back on the red lever and ascending into the sky. Gypsy walked over to Spot and Hyland, an annoyed look on her face.
"You just never know when to quit, do you? You have absolutely no idea what these things are doing to you..." she muttered and led them into a small room, Spot kicking and screaming the whole way.
"Hey, Gyps!" Jester called out.
"Yeah?" Gypsy asked, sticking her head out of the doorway.
"Catch." Jester tossed an NES gun to her. "You might need it."
"Thanks."
Hyland had managed to strap Spot into a chair by his ankles, though his hands were still free and trying desperately to free his feet as well.
"What the hell is this? It's not rope. And where the hell am I? What are you trying to do to me?" Spot asked desperately. Gypsy sat down calmly across from him. She held out both of her hands, and in her palms were two pill-shaped objects, one orange, one green.
"Pick one," she said.
"What?" Spot asked, confused.
"Just pick one, already, you flibbertigibbet," Hyland muttered through his teeth.
"Flibberti-what?" Spot asked.
"PICK ONE, DAMMIT!" they both yelled. Gypsy's eye twitched, and Hyland looked severely annoyed.
Spot hesitantly stuck his hand out and reached for the green one. He looked at it with confusion.
"Put it in your mouth and wait." Spot looked at Gypsy warily, but placed the green object in his mouth and waited. It slowly began to dissolve, leaving an odd taste in his mouth. He breathed in, and found the air surprisingly cold against his throat.
"What was that for?" he said.
"Your breath. They're called Tic-Tacs," Hyland said, and he motioned for the three of them to leave the room.
As they exited the small room, Jester swiveled around in her chair. "Oi! Which one did he pick?" she called out across the main deck.
"Spearmint," Gypsy said.
"He picked the green one? What the crap?! I've lost all respect for you. Even a feckin' BABY would've picked orange over spearmint," Jester muttered. But Spot didn't seem to pay her any attention. He was too fascinated by the minty freshness that now inhabited his mouth.
"Spot, do you know what a Mary Sue Author is?" Gypsy asked.
"A what?"
"Oi, this is going to take a lot of work," Jester sighed, leaning back in her chair and spinning around in circles.
"A Mary Sue Author is a rejected scientist from the 20th century. They were researching stem cells and different cloning methods when a precocious yet seemingly charming 10 year-old girl by the name of Jewel was used in an cloning experiment. When the government found out about the use of a child in a scientific experiment, the Mary Sue Authors were exiled to a remote island near the equator. They have since attempted to recreate this experiment, and the products of such experiments have been far and varied, but with one similarity..." Gypsy explained, and was cut off rudely.
"Yeah, they're all a prissy bunch of bimbos," Jester injected.
"Exactly. They all possess an obscene amount of so-called perfect qualities, which are often very conflicting. Examples of these would be impeccable appearances as well as lack of care for appearances, masculinity as well as femininity, and bilingualism as well as the incapability of speaking in any other accent but a New York accent."
"I think you've just described every single one of my girlfriends," Spot said, rubbing his temples.
"Oh! Goodie! Are we getting through to the whoremonger yet?" Hyland said sarcastically. Spot glared at him.
"And what does this all have to do with me, exactly?" Spot asked.
"What does it have to do with you? Are you daft? Have you not noticed that they have TARGETED YOU? Why do you think you're always finding lost rich girls in the alley? Or orphans who randomly show up at the lodging house? Are you completely oblivious to the fact that you are..." Hyland began ranting, but was cut off by Gypsy with a warning stare.
"Not yet, Hyland. He doesn't need to know yet," she told him. "Look, Spot, you're one of the most highly-rated Mary Sue targets in fandom. Every time you find one, they will begin to take more and more out of your character until you're barely recognizable. You will become..."
"A romantic lead," Hyland spat acidly.
"Harsh..." Jester said. "Poor kid."
"Wait, a what? A ROMANTIC LEAD?! But... that's Jack. Or Mush. Or... not me! I'm not the romantic lead! I'm the fearless leader of Brooklyn, not some flower-carrying poem-reciting song-singing."
"Pansy?" Jester interjected.
"Damn straight!" Spot said.
"You better get to sleep. We start training tomorrow," Hyland suggested, and with a "pop" from the NES gun, he disappeared. Gypsy pointed it at Jester, who also disappeared with a "pop", before turning it on herself and leaving Spot alone on the middle of the main deck.
"Wait, training for what? Where do I go? What the..." Spot ranted, before realizing he was alone.