AN: Heil the potato. And boogie down.
-----
"Find yer room alright, sunshine?"
Spot opened his eyes to find a curious pair of eyes peering at him behind a pair of spectacles, and a mess of brown hair falling into his face.
"WHOAH!" Spot screamed and fell off his cot and began backing away from Jester, who was hanging precariously from his ceiling by her ankles.
"Well, aren't you the morning person?" she said. She swung herself back up and clutched the piece of piping that her feet were attached to, slid her feet out, and landed on his bed.
"Breakfast is ready. Go out to the main deck," she told him. As he put on his shirt and his wool trousers, Jester pulled his blanket over her head and promptly fell asleep.
As he walked out to the main deck, he saw Gypsy and Hyland standing on two spinning chairs, clutching each others hands and attempting to swing each other from one side of the room to the other. As Hyland let Gypsy go, she flew across the main deck and right past Spot.
"Hey, thanks for the hat!" she called. Spot put his hands on his head and found his hat to be missing. Meanwhile, Gypsy was wearing his hat and using his cane to push her chair back around the main deck.
"This place is crazy," Spot muttered and served himself some of what was stewing in the pot.
"My, you have a keen grasp of the obvious," Hyland said.
"Yeah, thanks, whatever that means." Gypsy and Hyland gave each other sidelong glances. "By the way, what IS this?"
"Mashed potatoes with cheese sauce," Gypsy stated matter-of-factly.
"Ah, I don't eat potatoes. Don't like the texture."
A loud WHAM was heard as the door to Spot's room slammed open and Jester stormed out.
"Don't... eat... POTATOES??" she screeched. She looked at Gypsy and Hyland, her eyes bulging out of her head. She made pointing motions and mouthed unintelligible curses in Spot's direction.
"She says 'Suck it up and deal', Spot," Hyland translated. "It's all they'll make, those Russian-Jew wannabes."
"Who are you calling a Russian-Jew WANNABE?!" Gypsy hissed. Jester looked severely put out.
"I like potatoes," she sniffed.
"Yeah, well I happen to like Reeses... couldn't we get any of THOSE at Costco before we left?" Hyland muttered.
"What's Cofscoah?" Spot asked, potatoes spewing from his mouth as he spoke.
"And what happened to your anti-potato campaign, you corporate slave?" Jester sneered disdainfully.
"Are we going to start the training or not?" Gypsy asked, tapping her foot impatiently. Jester sat down in her spinning chair, which Gypsy had kicked in her direction, and spun off to the control panel at the front of the ship.
"Training for what, exactly?" Spot asked, finishing off his potatoes as a rather threatening-looking chair lowered from the ceiling.
"Mary Sue Resistance," Hyland answered. "You will have to learn to resist the magnetic pull of the Mary Sues. These are only a few simulations that I have created, your basic Mary Sues, but it's enough." He motioned for Spot to sit in the chair, and Spot went cautiously.
"Let him in," Jester said from the control panel, and Gypsy placed a large headset over Spot's face.
"Wait, I can't see anything, what is this..."
But Spot was cut short, for at that second he was no longer on the main deck, but in a vast white space. There was nothing that he could see. He quickly turned around and was stunned to find Jester, Gypsy, and Hyland all standing there, watching him with amused smiles on their faces.
"Welcome to the Mary Sue Resistance training," Gypsy said. The three of them snapped their fingers and a mass of buildings came rushing towards them.
"SHIT!" Spot yelled and ducked, but no sooner had he done that when he looked down and saw a crudely paved ground beneath his feet. He looked up, and there he was, not two steps away from the lodging house. He was in Brooklyn, but he couldn't see Jester, Gypsy, or Hyland anywhere.
"Am I... back home? Man, that was a bizarre dream..." he mumbled to himself. He began to head back to the lodging house when he heard an ear- piercing scream come from a nearby alley.
Spot whipped around. He looked to his right, when he heard the scream again.
"Shit... not again!" he said. He ran down the street, looking down every alley till he saw a girl, with two menacing looking men standing over her.
"Maria?" he whispered. "HEY!" he yelled, before running down the alley to fight them off.
BIZZAP.
An electrical shock went right down Spot's spine and stopped him in his tracks. "OW! What the HELL was that?"
"A mental cattle prod, if you will," said a voice above him. Jester was sitting on a fire escape, letting her feet dangle above the ground, watching Spot bemusedly.
"Crazy psycho bitch..." he muttered before heading towards Maria again.
BIZZAP.
"DAMMIT! What the hell are you trying to do to me? I have to save her!" Spot yelled.
"Says who? Why should she live?" Hyland said, sticking his head out from a window above them.
"What are you talking about?"
"You're not very good at resisting Mary Sues, mate," Hyland sighed.
"But... but I can't just leave her there, she's so helpless," Spot argued.
BIZZAP.
"You have to stop thinking like that, toots," Jester said condescendingly.
"Will you PLEASE stop trying to fry me to death?" Spot grimaced, glaring up at Jester. "I don't care what you guys say, I have to help her," he said, looking over at Maria. One of the men had grabbed her by the collar and was pressing her up against the wall. Spot stood up and began to drag himself over to her.
"What are you going to do Spot? Save them all?" Gypsy said behind him. Spot spun around to find Gypsy standing calmly in the middle of the street. She smiled.
Another scream was heard in the streets. Spot stood there dumbstruck for a moment, before running out of the alley and down the street. In the next alley there was another girl, surrounded by a whole gang of men. They were pulling at her clothing as she writhed and struggled against them.
There was another scream. Spot ran away from the alley, past Maria, and looked in the next one. Another scream sounded in the streets. And then another, and then another. Endless cries echoed into the street and countless moans were heard from every side.
"What... what are you doing?" Spot whispered. "Make it stop! Gypsy, make it stop!" he yelled, running over and grabbing her by the collar. With a snap of her fingers, the streets disappeared and the screams faded.
"Echo! Echo!" Hyland yelled out to the vast white expanse.
"You..." Jester said, pointing at Spot. "SUCKED. I've never seen anyone fail their training that badly, most of them get the hint after awhile."
"Oh, Jester, quit it..." Gypsy groaned. She pulled out the NES gun and with a "pop", the four of them disappeared.
-----
"Find yer room alright, sunshine?"
Spot opened his eyes to find a curious pair of eyes peering at him behind a pair of spectacles, and a mess of brown hair falling into his face.
"WHOAH!" Spot screamed and fell off his cot and began backing away from Jester, who was hanging precariously from his ceiling by her ankles.
"Well, aren't you the morning person?" she said. She swung herself back up and clutched the piece of piping that her feet were attached to, slid her feet out, and landed on his bed.
"Breakfast is ready. Go out to the main deck," she told him. As he put on his shirt and his wool trousers, Jester pulled his blanket over her head and promptly fell asleep.
As he walked out to the main deck, he saw Gypsy and Hyland standing on two spinning chairs, clutching each others hands and attempting to swing each other from one side of the room to the other. As Hyland let Gypsy go, she flew across the main deck and right past Spot.
"Hey, thanks for the hat!" she called. Spot put his hands on his head and found his hat to be missing. Meanwhile, Gypsy was wearing his hat and using his cane to push her chair back around the main deck.
"This place is crazy," Spot muttered and served himself some of what was stewing in the pot.
"My, you have a keen grasp of the obvious," Hyland said.
"Yeah, thanks, whatever that means." Gypsy and Hyland gave each other sidelong glances. "By the way, what IS this?"
"Mashed potatoes with cheese sauce," Gypsy stated matter-of-factly.
"Ah, I don't eat potatoes. Don't like the texture."
A loud WHAM was heard as the door to Spot's room slammed open and Jester stormed out.
"Don't... eat... POTATOES??" she screeched. She looked at Gypsy and Hyland, her eyes bulging out of her head. She made pointing motions and mouthed unintelligible curses in Spot's direction.
"She says 'Suck it up and deal', Spot," Hyland translated. "It's all they'll make, those Russian-Jew wannabes."
"Who are you calling a Russian-Jew WANNABE?!" Gypsy hissed. Jester looked severely put out.
"I like potatoes," she sniffed.
"Yeah, well I happen to like Reeses... couldn't we get any of THOSE at Costco before we left?" Hyland muttered.
"What's Cofscoah?" Spot asked, potatoes spewing from his mouth as he spoke.
"And what happened to your anti-potato campaign, you corporate slave?" Jester sneered disdainfully.
"Are we going to start the training or not?" Gypsy asked, tapping her foot impatiently. Jester sat down in her spinning chair, which Gypsy had kicked in her direction, and spun off to the control panel at the front of the ship.
"Training for what, exactly?" Spot asked, finishing off his potatoes as a rather threatening-looking chair lowered from the ceiling.
"Mary Sue Resistance," Hyland answered. "You will have to learn to resist the magnetic pull of the Mary Sues. These are only a few simulations that I have created, your basic Mary Sues, but it's enough." He motioned for Spot to sit in the chair, and Spot went cautiously.
"Let him in," Jester said from the control panel, and Gypsy placed a large headset over Spot's face.
"Wait, I can't see anything, what is this..."
But Spot was cut short, for at that second he was no longer on the main deck, but in a vast white space. There was nothing that he could see. He quickly turned around and was stunned to find Jester, Gypsy, and Hyland all standing there, watching him with amused smiles on their faces.
"Welcome to the Mary Sue Resistance training," Gypsy said. The three of them snapped their fingers and a mass of buildings came rushing towards them.
"SHIT!" Spot yelled and ducked, but no sooner had he done that when he looked down and saw a crudely paved ground beneath his feet. He looked up, and there he was, not two steps away from the lodging house. He was in Brooklyn, but he couldn't see Jester, Gypsy, or Hyland anywhere.
"Am I... back home? Man, that was a bizarre dream..." he mumbled to himself. He began to head back to the lodging house when he heard an ear- piercing scream come from a nearby alley.
Spot whipped around. He looked to his right, when he heard the scream again.
"Shit... not again!" he said. He ran down the street, looking down every alley till he saw a girl, with two menacing looking men standing over her.
"Maria?" he whispered. "HEY!" he yelled, before running down the alley to fight them off.
BIZZAP.
An electrical shock went right down Spot's spine and stopped him in his tracks. "OW! What the HELL was that?"
"A mental cattle prod, if you will," said a voice above him. Jester was sitting on a fire escape, letting her feet dangle above the ground, watching Spot bemusedly.
"Crazy psycho bitch..." he muttered before heading towards Maria again.
BIZZAP.
"DAMMIT! What the hell are you trying to do to me? I have to save her!" Spot yelled.
"Says who? Why should she live?" Hyland said, sticking his head out from a window above them.
"What are you talking about?"
"You're not very good at resisting Mary Sues, mate," Hyland sighed.
"But... but I can't just leave her there, she's so helpless," Spot argued.
BIZZAP.
"You have to stop thinking like that, toots," Jester said condescendingly.
"Will you PLEASE stop trying to fry me to death?" Spot grimaced, glaring up at Jester. "I don't care what you guys say, I have to help her," he said, looking over at Maria. One of the men had grabbed her by the collar and was pressing her up against the wall. Spot stood up and began to drag himself over to her.
"What are you going to do Spot? Save them all?" Gypsy said behind him. Spot spun around to find Gypsy standing calmly in the middle of the street. She smiled.
Another scream was heard in the streets. Spot stood there dumbstruck for a moment, before running out of the alley and down the street. In the next alley there was another girl, surrounded by a whole gang of men. They were pulling at her clothing as she writhed and struggled against them.
There was another scream. Spot ran away from the alley, past Maria, and looked in the next one. Another scream sounded in the streets. And then another, and then another. Endless cries echoed into the street and countless moans were heard from every side.
"What... what are you doing?" Spot whispered. "Make it stop! Gypsy, make it stop!" he yelled, running over and grabbing her by the collar. With a snap of her fingers, the streets disappeared and the screams faded.
"Echo! Echo!" Hyland yelled out to the vast white expanse.
"You..." Jester said, pointing at Spot. "SUCKED. I've never seen anyone fail their training that badly, most of them get the hint after awhile."
"Oh, Jester, quit it..." Gypsy groaned. She pulled out the NES gun and with a "pop", the four of them disappeared.