Author's Note: Okay, yes, this extremely late. (Insert excuse here). I
really don't have one, and, honestly, I don't love this chapter, but it
needed to be done so that I could get past it. I kept getting caught up on
the Maria/Liz scenes, and... Anyway, here it is. It will most likely be
revised at least once more... unless I get really lazy. I basically just
took about four hours to write this though, and I really want to get it
posted, because I hate how long it's taking me. The next part, hopefully,
will come faster. Anyway, basically, sorry for the delay. Enjoy the part.
Tell me what you think. Oh and thanks bunches for all of the great
replies! (Katydidit, I thought the monster thing was hilarious!) Okay,
I'm shutting up now!
~~~~~
Part Six
Maria POV
~~~~~
"So what's his name?" I asked, lifting a small picture of Liz and the man I
can only assume is her husband. He's more rugged than I would have though,
with wild blonde curls and strong, masculine arms. Mentally, I was
comparing him to Max. Through my eyes, they seemed to be polar opposites.
Where this man looked wild and untamable, Max was honest and trustworthy.
I chastised myself for my rash judgment and set the picture back in its
place.
"Jerry," Liz answered. A small suitcase laid open on her bed as she tossed
whatever touched her hand into it.
"So, did you two meet in college?" I asked, trying to keep her from going
silent on me as she had so many times through the rest of out uncomfortable
dinner. She didn't want to go back. I knew that, but. I couldn't just let
her drop out of our lives again.
"Yeah," she replied, zipping her suitcase. "He proposed at graduation."
She was already leaving the room as she said it, so I quickly followed.
"Shouldn't you wait to tell him you're leaving?" I asked as she began
scribbling small text onto a piece of paper.
"I'd rather leave him a note. I just want to be gone before I can back
out." I shut my mouth, not wanting to push her out of the trip. "Okay,"
she said after another second. "Let's go." As the words left her mouth,
headlights beamed in through the window.
"I guess I will get to meet the man in your life." I smiled, turning to
Liz. An unreadable look crossed her face, but passed in a moment.
"Maria, I'm really sorry," she said, already pushing me towards the door,
"but I don't want to take the time to do introductions right now." It was
much more demanding than Liz had been since I had come to Portland, so I
complied and headed for the door. "Just start up the car. I'll be out in
a second."
As I flung open the door, I came face to face with the man from the
picture, though he looked even wilder now. His hair was more than tousled
and his curls were flattened and jutting in every direction. His eyes were
slightly glazed as he looked at me, and took a moment to focus. Looking at
him, I wanted to pull Liz away with me right then, but I simply nodded at
him, pushing every intuition I had aside, and stepped beside him. Moments
after I was tucked back into my rental car, the door slammed behind me,
closing me out of another part of Liz's world. Something told me I should
have broken the door down then, but I had already pushed my intuitions
aside.
~~~
Liz POV
~~~
I knew he was drunk. It was something in his eyes. They looked like glass
when he had been drinking.
"Who was that?" he asked, his voice deep and rugged. There was an
accusation in his tone, but I'm not even sure he knew what it was for.
"She's from work," I lied, knowing all I had to do was get out of the
house. "There's an emergency, and I have to go out of town for a couple of
days, okay babe?" I asked, trying to fight the urge to shrink into the
wall.
"You don't leave," he said, his voice momentarily crystal clear.
"I left you some money for take out in the dresser upstairs. If you need
anything else, use the credit card." I hated myself for saying it, because
I knew we couldn't afford it, but I needed to get out. God only knew how
long Maria would wait for me.
He had stepped away from the door so I got my hand on the handle and
twisted it. "Love you, honey," I said, rushing to the car. Part of me
prayed that he was sober enough to remember Maria and know better than to
chase me down. I was right. I jumped into the passenger seat of Maria's
rental and looked back just in time to see him swing the door closed. I
was safe from Jerry... I couldn't save myself from the other terrors that
the night was sure to bring.
~~~
Max POV
~~~
The table was quiet for dinner, as Isabel stewed over my secrets, and
Michael tried to stay away from her to keep safe. My parents had spent
most of the night asking me about my trip until the one word answers got to
be too much for them, and all we could do was fall to silence. They wanted
to forget about the night before. I couldn't blame them, especially with
me and Isabel preoccupying ourselves with dealing with each other, rather
than comforting them with some sort of white lie to make them feel safe in
their homes again. We didn't think of that then though. That was always
our problem. We never cared about the world around us, like leaders
should, as much as we cared about the world between us.
I didn't know or care who it was when I heard the phone ring in the
kitchen, but that person was about to become my favorite person on the
planet as I nearly tipped my chair to get to the phone first. I only
briefly saw my mother's eyes widen in surprise before she sank back into
her seat.
"Hello," I said, pressing the living room phone to my ear.
"Hey Max," Maria's comforting voice said. There was something in her voice
that I couldn't quite read, but I let it pass, reassuring myself with the
brightness of her voice. "You are going to love me..." she said, her voice
slightly hushed but loud enough to be heard over the commotion behind her.
"Okay," I said, taking the bait. "Why am I going to love you?"
"I'm bringing someone home with me," she said, and I held my breath. Liz
was coming home? I didn't say anything, not wanting to be wrong and too
afraid to ask. After a rather long pause she added, "Aren't you going to
ask me who?"
"How did you do it?" I asked, taking Maria's hopeful tone as enough of an
answer. Only Maria.
"I don't know really," she said, and some more of that unreadable emotion
escaped into her voice. "Listen; let's just talk when we get there. Our
flight gets in at twelve thirty five. Can you pick us up?"
"I'll be there," I said, looking in at my family. "But I don't know if
I'll be alone."
~~~~~
Isabel left the dinner table early, mumbling some excuse about school
before sulking up the stairs. I wished Alex were here. He would be able
to help her. He always seemed to help her get things in perspective, even
if he didn't know what was going on.
Watching their relationship develop had probably been a big part of what
helped me push myself into the future. While Maria and Michael took the
dysfunctional relationship to entirely new levels, and while they both
insisted on putting me and Alex in the middle of their constant feuding,
Isabel and Alex found this solid middle ground. Every time I found myself
in some hole of self-pity, I would look at them, and I realized that, no
matter how my life turned out, I had done something right by my sister by
saving Liz Parker's life. She never would have found Alex if I hadn't and
she never would have found the person that she could be. No matter how
much I hurt because of what I did, I had done right by my family, and that
was the only consolation that I could find.
I offered to do the dishes for my mother, wanting some silence for my own
thoughts. I would have to tell them about Liz. I couldn't just stow her
away in my room, and a part of me knew that. I just didn't know how to
tell them.
As I wandered up to my room, hearing the quiet noise from the television
where my parents were quietly watching some primetime drama, I couldn't get
Liz out of my head. It seemed almost ludicrous that I had found her.
After years and years, I had just stumbled onto her, and I would see her in
just a matter of hours. The thought was both exhilarating and terrifying.
The door to my room was slightly open when I got to the top of the stairs,
shining a beam of light that I knew I had turned out onto the beige carpet.
Gently, I tapped the door open, and found my sister sitting on my bed,
staring at a picture on my desk. A picture of the five of us from
graduation that I had taken while I tried to use the timer on my camera.
It had always looked disturbingly lopsided, with nearly an extra inch
beside the place that I had slid into on the right side.
"You left a space for her," Isabel said, never taking her eyes from the
picture. "I never noticed it before, but that's what it was. You were
leaving a place for her even though she wasn't there. Even though she
hadn't been there for years." I looked at the picture as she spoke. I'd
never seen it either, but as she said the words, they seemed to make sense.
The picture would have been perfect, had someone else been beside me.
Right where she would have been. Where she should have been.
"Max, I need you to talk to me," Isabel said, her eyes scanning my face. I
could hear the tightness in her voice; I could feel how I was hurting her,
and suddenly, it didn't matter how I told her about Liz. She just needed
to know. "I can't do this again. I can't watch you slip back into who you
were. I can't lose my brother again." Her voice broke, and before I knew
what I was saying, words were tumbling out.
"I found Liz," I said in a rush, "in a supermarket in Portland. That's why
Maria left. I told Liz that I would meet her, and I knew I couldn't, so I
sent Maria, and they're both coming back to Roswell. They'll be here in a
few hours." The words were out in a matter of seconds, and silence hung
before us in thick strands.
Isabel's eyes widened slowly as the reality slipped into her mind, and her
mouth began to move slowly, but no words came out. "You... She... And
Maria..." Her voice trailed away and then suddenly strengthened as she
jumped to her feet and screamed one word: "Michael!"
~~~~~
Jerry POV
~~~~~
I watched until the brake lights faded into the heavy mist that seemed to
cling to Portland in the rare absences of the rain. She'd never left me
before. I never really thought she would. But I'd underestimated her
past. I'd underestimated her.
There was a vague recognition when I saw the blonde woman in our home that
night. I didn't realize who she was until hours later, as I stared at the
television in a stupor. It was like a slap to the face. Not that she was
in our home. That I had been lied to. She had never lied to me. Not
until she found her past.
She loved me... once. I know that. She wears her emotions in her eyes.
She always has, and I know that once, when everything was sweet and new,
she had let herself forget-let herself believe in love. There are only two
paths of control, though: love and fear, and I have never been naïve enough
to think that any sway in the former. Not with what I knew of her past.
Apparently I still didn't know enough though, because she was gone. And
nothing could have prepared me for what that felt like.
~~~~~
Liz POV
~~~~~
I slept through most of the plane ride, and pretend to whenever I woke up.
I didn't want to face Maria. I didn't want her to ask me, because I knew
that if she did, I would tell her everything, and I couldn't risk that. I
had to be able to leave, and she wouldn't let me do that if she knew the
truth.
She warned me as we got on the plane that she thought Max would have to
tell them--his family. As our plane landed, I asked myself for the
millionth time what I was doing. But it was too late for second guesses.
I was surprised to find only Max waiting for us in baggage claim, and even
more surprised when Maria rushed up and threw her arms around him, wrapping
him in a friendly hug. It looked so natural. I felt so out of place.
"How was your flight?" he asked neutrally, reaching for a piece of luggage
that he must have recognized as Maria's. He hadn't looked me in the eye
since I saw him.
"You know how I feel about flying," she said, grabbing the bag that she had
watched me pack before I had the chance to and signaling for me to follow
as we walked away from baggage claim. "And she slept the whole way so I
had to play solitaire."
There was an easiness between them, something that I knew only came with
years of hard work, trust, and a deeper kind of connection than I had felt
with anyone in years. Watching them, I felt something tighten in my chest.
I was on the outside now. I wasn't one of them anymore.
"Do they know she's here?" I heard Maria ask as I gently tuned back into
their conversation.
"Yeah," he said. "I had to tell them." He looked at me for the first
time, as if to gauge my reaction, and I felt a wave of emotion. He turned
away quickly though, leaving me with no time to examine that. "They
thought that it would be better if I came alone though. And Isabel has
been on the phone with Alex since eight. Thank god for night minutes," he
mumbled, a tight smiled gracing his features.
"When is he coming home?" Maria asked. They lead the way a few feet before
me, so I simply lingered behind and listened, trying to convince myself
that I wanted to be the outsider--that I wanted this. That I needed this.
"Probably tomorrow," Max answered, sighing as he ran a hand through his
inky black hair. "He's trying to get standby so that he doesn't pay a
small fortune." Max shrugged and Maria laughed at something I didn't
understand. "Anyway, he's coming back soon." He looked at me. "He can't
wait to see you. He says "hi." Max paused and then continued with a soft
smile. "And a lot more that I can't remember." I smiled despite myself.
"So where are we going?" Maria asked as we reached the entrance. A hot
rush of New Mexico air rushed forward to greet us and I nearly gasped.
Neither Max nor Maria seemed to notice and we continued toward the parking
lot.
"We're going to my house. I know it's late," he added, directing it to me,
"but no one wanted to wait." He paused, making all of us wait in the
parking lot. "It's up to you though. It can wait until tomorrow, if you
want to." There was so much emotion in his eyes, and I could tell he was a
big reason that everyone had stayed up. He wanted the answers so badly.
Answers that I could give him. I couldn't just tell him no. Not after all
this time.
"It's fine," I said, and he smiled again, letting a wave of warmth that had
nothing to do with the heat flow through me.
"Good." And we started walking again. When he stopped at a fairly new
black SUV, I almost kept walking.
"Where's the jeep?" I asked, vacantly searching the parking structure.
"I made him sell it," Maria said. "The back seat shot a spring up my-"
"It got unreliable," Max said, cutting Maria off with surprising accuracy.
"Even with the little "tricks" we used, it was dying, and I decided that it
was time for something new." I nodded, irrationally narrowing my eyes on
the car before me as Max unlocked the doors. I had never been fond of the
jeep as I constantly teased Max about its flaws and age. Still, that car
had held some of my most vivid high school memories, and it was gone. I
wondered what else had disappeared while I was away.
Maria and Max talked comfortably in the front while I gathered up the
courage for the speech I knew was coming. They didn't ask me the routine
questions that you would expect since we hadn't seen each other in years.
They almost seemed to realize that I needed to think. Still, Roswell was
much too small to allow me much time to think, and mostly I found myself
gazing out the window at the places I used to know. After a couple
minutes, I realized that Max had taken a detour around The Crashdown, but I
wasn't sure if I was grateful or bothered. I would have to go back before
I left, I realized. I couldn't just come back and forget about them. It
wouldn't be fair to them.
Before I could dwell anymore on my family, Max was pulling into his
driveway, his headlights illuminating the familiar path, with the same
tapered bushes and trim cut grass.
Suddenly, the past collided into me, slamming me with memories that I had
buried a long time ago. Memories that I wasn't ready to face myself. And
a secret that I had vowed to keep. Suddenly, I wasn't sure if I was ready.
really don't have one, and, honestly, I don't love this chapter, but it
needed to be done so that I could get past it. I kept getting caught up on
the Maria/Liz scenes, and... Anyway, here it is. It will most likely be
revised at least once more... unless I get really lazy. I basically just
took about four hours to write this though, and I really want to get it
posted, because I hate how long it's taking me. The next part, hopefully,
will come faster. Anyway, basically, sorry for the delay. Enjoy the part.
Tell me what you think. Oh and thanks bunches for all of the great
replies! (Katydidit, I thought the monster thing was hilarious!) Okay,
I'm shutting up now!
~~~~~
Part Six
Maria POV
~~~~~
"So what's his name?" I asked, lifting a small picture of Liz and the man I
can only assume is her husband. He's more rugged than I would have though,
with wild blonde curls and strong, masculine arms. Mentally, I was
comparing him to Max. Through my eyes, they seemed to be polar opposites.
Where this man looked wild and untamable, Max was honest and trustworthy.
I chastised myself for my rash judgment and set the picture back in its
place.
"Jerry," Liz answered. A small suitcase laid open on her bed as she tossed
whatever touched her hand into it.
"So, did you two meet in college?" I asked, trying to keep her from going
silent on me as she had so many times through the rest of out uncomfortable
dinner. She didn't want to go back. I knew that, but. I couldn't just let
her drop out of our lives again.
"Yeah," she replied, zipping her suitcase. "He proposed at graduation."
She was already leaving the room as she said it, so I quickly followed.
"Shouldn't you wait to tell him you're leaving?" I asked as she began
scribbling small text onto a piece of paper.
"I'd rather leave him a note. I just want to be gone before I can back
out." I shut my mouth, not wanting to push her out of the trip. "Okay,"
she said after another second. "Let's go." As the words left her mouth,
headlights beamed in through the window.
"I guess I will get to meet the man in your life." I smiled, turning to
Liz. An unreadable look crossed her face, but passed in a moment.
"Maria, I'm really sorry," she said, already pushing me towards the door,
"but I don't want to take the time to do introductions right now." It was
much more demanding than Liz had been since I had come to Portland, so I
complied and headed for the door. "Just start up the car. I'll be out in
a second."
As I flung open the door, I came face to face with the man from the
picture, though he looked even wilder now. His hair was more than tousled
and his curls were flattened and jutting in every direction. His eyes were
slightly glazed as he looked at me, and took a moment to focus. Looking at
him, I wanted to pull Liz away with me right then, but I simply nodded at
him, pushing every intuition I had aside, and stepped beside him. Moments
after I was tucked back into my rental car, the door slammed behind me,
closing me out of another part of Liz's world. Something told me I should
have broken the door down then, but I had already pushed my intuitions
aside.
~~~
Liz POV
~~~
I knew he was drunk. It was something in his eyes. They looked like glass
when he had been drinking.
"Who was that?" he asked, his voice deep and rugged. There was an
accusation in his tone, but I'm not even sure he knew what it was for.
"She's from work," I lied, knowing all I had to do was get out of the
house. "There's an emergency, and I have to go out of town for a couple of
days, okay babe?" I asked, trying to fight the urge to shrink into the
wall.
"You don't leave," he said, his voice momentarily crystal clear.
"I left you some money for take out in the dresser upstairs. If you need
anything else, use the credit card." I hated myself for saying it, because
I knew we couldn't afford it, but I needed to get out. God only knew how
long Maria would wait for me.
He had stepped away from the door so I got my hand on the handle and
twisted it. "Love you, honey," I said, rushing to the car. Part of me
prayed that he was sober enough to remember Maria and know better than to
chase me down. I was right. I jumped into the passenger seat of Maria's
rental and looked back just in time to see him swing the door closed. I
was safe from Jerry... I couldn't save myself from the other terrors that
the night was sure to bring.
~~~
Max POV
~~~
The table was quiet for dinner, as Isabel stewed over my secrets, and
Michael tried to stay away from her to keep safe. My parents had spent
most of the night asking me about my trip until the one word answers got to
be too much for them, and all we could do was fall to silence. They wanted
to forget about the night before. I couldn't blame them, especially with
me and Isabel preoccupying ourselves with dealing with each other, rather
than comforting them with some sort of white lie to make them feel safe in
their homes again. We didn't think of that then though. That was always
our problem. We never cared about the world around us, like leaders
should, as much as we cared about the world between us.
I didn't know or care who it was when I heard the phone ring in the
kitchen, but that person was about to become my favorite person on the
planet as I nearly tipped my chair to get to the phone first. I only
briefly saw my mother's eyes widen in surprise before she sank back into
her seat.
"Hello," I said, pressing the living room phone to my ear.
"Hey Max," Maria's comforting voice said. There was something in her voice
that I couldn't quite read, but I let it pass, reassuring myself with the
brightness of her voice. "You are going to love me..." she said, her voice
slightly hushed but loud enough to be heard over the commotion behind her.
"Okay," I said, taking the bait. "Why am I going to love you?"
"I'm bringing someone home with me," she said, and I held my breath. Liz
was coming home? I didn't say anything, not wanting to be wrong and too
afraid to ask. After a rather long pause she added, "Aren't you going to
ask me who?"
"How did you do it?" I asked, taking Maria's hopeful tone as enough of an
answer. Only Maria.
"I don't know really," she said, and some more of that unreadable emotion
escaped into her voice. "Listen; let's just talk when we get there. Our
flight gets in at twelve thirty five. Can you pick us up?"
"I'll be there," I said, looking in at my family. "But I don't know if
I'll be alone."
~~~~~
Isabel left the dinner table early, mumbling some excuse about school
before sulking up the stairs. I wished Alex were here. He would be able
to help her. He always seemed to help her get things in perspective, even
if he didn't know what was going on.
Watching their relationship develop had probably been a big part of what
helped me push myself into the future. While Maria and Michael took the
dysfunctional relationship to entirely new levels, and while they both
insisted on putting me and Alex in the middle of their constant feuding,
Isabel and Alex found this solid middle ground. Every time I found myself
in some hole of self-pity, I would look at them, and I realized that, no
matter how my life turned out, I had done something right by my sister by
saving Liz Parker's life. She never would have found Alex if I hadn't and
she never would have found the person that she could be. No matter how
much I hurt because of what I did, I had done right by my family, and that
was the only consolation that I could find.
I offered to do the dishes for my mother, wanting some silence for my own
thoughts. I would have to tell them about Liz. I couldn't just stow her
away in my room, and a part of me knew that. I just didn't know how to
tell them.
As I wandered up to my room, hearing the quiet noise from the television
where my parents were quietly watching some primetime drama, I couldn't get
Liz out of my head. It seemed almost ludicrous that I had found her.
After years and years, I had just stumbled onto her, and I would see her in
just a matter of hours. The thought was both exhilarating and terrifying.
The door to my room was slightly open when I got to the top of the stairs,
shining a beam of light that I knew I had turned out onto the beige carpet.
Gently, I tapped the door open, and found my sister sitting on my bed,
staring at a picture on my desk. A picture of the five of us from
graduation that I had taken while I tried to use the timer on my camera.
It had always looked disturbingly lopsided, with nearly an extra inch
beside the place that I had slid into on the right side.
"You left a space for her," Isabel said, never taking her eyes from the
picture. "I never noticed it before, but that's what it was. You were
leaving a place for her even though she wasn't there. Even though she
hadn't been there for years." I looked at the picture as she spoke. I'd
never seen it either, but as she said the words, they seemed to make sense.
The picture would have been perfect, had someone else been beside me.
Right where she would have been. Where she should have been.
"Max, I need you to talk to me," Isabel said, her eyes scanning my face. I
could hear the tightness in her voice; I could feel how I was hurting her,
and suddenly, it didn't matter how I told her about Liz. She just needed
to know. "I can't do this again. I can't watch you slip back into who you
were. I can't lose my brother again." Her voice broke, and before I knew
what I was saying, words were tumbling out.
"I found Liz," I said in a rush, "in a supermarket in Portland. That's why
Maria left. I told Liz that I would meet her, and I knew I couldn't, so I
sent Maria, and they're both coming back to Roswell. They'll be here in a
few hours." The words were out in a matter of seconds, and silence hung
before us in thick strands.
Isabel's eyes widened slowly as the reality slipped into her mind, and her
mouth began to move slowly, but no words came out. "You... She... And
Maria..." Her voice trailed away and then suddenly strengthened as she
jumped to her feet and screamed one word: "Michael!"
~~~~~
Jerry POV
~~~~~
I watched until the brake lights faded into the heavy mist that seemed to
cling to Portland in the rare absences of the rain. She'd never left me
before. I never really thought she would. But I'd underestimated her
past. I'd underestimated her.
There was a vague recognition when I saw the blonde woman in our home that
night. I didn't realize who she was until hours later, as I stared at the
television in a stupor. It was like a slap to the face. Not that she was
in our home. That I had been lied to. She had never lied to me. Not
until she found her past.
She loved me... once. I know that. She wears her emotions in her eyes.
She always has, and I know that once, when everything was sweet and new,
she had let herself forget-let herself believe in love. There are only two
paths of control, though: love and fear, and I have never been naïve enough
to think that any sway in the former. Not with what I knew of her past.
Apparently I still didn't know enough though, because she was gone. And
nothing could have prepared me for what that felt like.
~~~~~
Liz POV
~~~~~
I slept through most of the plane ride, and pretend to whenever I woke up.
I didn't want to face Maria. I didn't want her to ask me, because I knew
that if she did, I would tell her everything, and I couldn't risk that. I
had to be able to leave, and she wouldn't let me do that if she knew the
truth.
She warned me as we got on the plane that she thought Max would have to
tell them--his family. As our plane landed, I asked myself for the
millionth time what I was doing. But it was too late for second guesses.
I was surprised to find only Max waiting for us in baggage claim, and even
more surprised when Maria rushed up and threw her arms around him, wrapping
him in a friendly hug. It looked so natural. I felt so out of place.
"How was your flight?" he asked neutrally, reaching for a piece of luggage
that he must have recognized as Maria's. He hadn't looked me in the eye
since I saw him.
"You know how I feel about flying," she said, grabbing the bag that she had
watched me pack before I had the chance to and signaling for me to follow
as we walked away from baggage claim. "And she slept the whole way so I
had to play solitaire."
There was an easiness between them, something that I knew only came with
years of hard work, trust, and a deeper kind of connection than I had felt
with anyone in years. Watching them, I felt something tighten in my chest.
I was on the outside now. I wasn't one of them anymore.
"Do they know she's here?" I heard Maria ask as I gently tuned back into
their conversation.
"Yeah," he said. "I had to tell them." He looked at me for the first
time, as if to gauge my reaction, and I felt a wave of emotion. He turned
away quickly though, leaving me with no time to examine that. "They
thought that it would be better if I came alone though. And Isabel has
been on the phone with Alex since eight. Thank god for night minutes," he
mumbled, a tight smiled gracing his features.
"When is he coming home?" Maria asked. They lead the way a few feet before
me, so I simply lingered behind and listened, trying to convince myself
that I wanted to be the outsider--that I wanted this. That I needed this.
"Probably tomorrow," Max answered, sighing as he ran a hand through his
inky black hair. "He's trying to get standby so that he doesn't pay a
small fortune." Max shrugged and Maria laughed at something I didn't
understand. "Anyway, he's coming back soon." He looked at me. "He can't
wait to see you. He says "hi." Max paused and then continued with a soft
smile. "And a lot more that I can't remember." I smiled despite myself.
"So where are we going?" Maria asked as we reached the entrance. A hot
rush of New Mexico air rushed forward to greet us and I nearly gasped.
Neither Max nor Maria seemed to notice and we continued toward the parking
lot.
"We're going to my house. I know it's late," he added, directing it to me,
"but no one wanted to wait." He paused, making all of us wait in the
parking lot. "It's up to you though. It can wait until tomorrow, if you
want to." There was so much emotion in his eyes, and I could tell he was a
big reason that everyone had stayed up. He wanted the answers so badly.
Answers that I could give him. I couldn't just tell him no. Not after all
this time.
"It's fine," I said, and he smiled again, letting a wave of warmth that had
nothing to do with the heat flow through me.
"Good." And we started walking again. When he stopped at a fairly new
black SUV, I almost kept walking.
"Where's the jeep?" I asked, vacantly searching the parking structure.
"I made him sell it," Maria said. "The back seat shot a spring up my-"
"It got unreliable," Max said, cutting Maria off with surprising accuracy.
"Even with the little "tricks" we used, it was dying, and I decided that it
was time for something new." I nodded, irrationally narrowing my eyes on
the car before me as Max unlocked the doors. I had never been fond of the
jeep as I constantly teased Max about its flaws and age. Still, that car
had held some of my most vivid high school memories, and it was gone. I
wondered what else had disappeared while I was away.
Maria and Max talked comfortably in the front while I gathered up the
courage for the speech I knew was coming. They didn't ask me the routine
questions that you would expect since we hadn't seen each other in years.
They almost seemed to realize that I needed to think. Still, Roswell was
much too small to allow me much time to think, and mostly I found myself
gazing out the window at the places I used to know. After a couple
minutes, I realized that Max had taken a detour around The Crashdown, but I
wasn't sure if I was grateful or bothered. I would have to go back before
I left, I realized. I couldn't just come back and forget about them. It
wouldn't be fair to them.
Before I could dwell anymore on my family, Max was pulling into his
driveway, his headlights illuminating the familiar path, with the same
tapered bushes and trim cut grass.
Suddenly, the past collided into me, slamming me with memories that I had
buried a long time ago. Memories that I wasn't ready to face myself. And
a secret that I had vowed to keep. Suddenly, I wasn't sure if I was ready.