Disclaimer: Not mine
Drown
Once again Kitsune was lonely. Once again she was trying to block them out. Once again she was failing. And once again she was drowning herself with alcohol.
They were all so happy. Naru, her best friend, had Keitaro the landlord. Motoko had her studies. Mutsumi had her watermelons, Su had her machinery, Kanako had her weird mask stuff, Shinobu had her studies and cooking, Tama- chan had whatever he had, and both Sarah and Haruka had him.
Him. He was the reason for all her problems in the first place. If he hadn't tutored herself and Naru then Kitsune wouldn't be as she was. She could be happy like them. She wouldn't be hopelessly in love with him. You never know, she could love someone else. But she could love only him. 'I would've never fallen in love with anyone else.' Kitsune thought glumly.
Maybe it was his thoughtlessness. Or his smile and charm. His fighting skill maybe? No. It was just him. He would never love the lowly Kitsune over the regal Haruka.
'I could have admitted my feelings earlier.' Thought Kitsune drunkenly. 'I had my chance. Not any more. He's not mine anymore. Not that he ever was.'
She shifted her amber liquid so that the noon sun glinted through its depths. Her brown eyes stared at the drink that made her life so much simpler, yet so much harder. Kitsune's bored expression turned into a frown as she waded through the muggy depths of her memory, trying to remember why she had started drinking. And once again the answer was him.
After yet again glancing at the liquor, Kitsune lifted it to her parched lips and gulped it down. 'Aha.' Kitsune thought. She remembered how she started drinking.
.~.
Of course, she and Naru had just finished a tutoring session with him and they were both getting ready to leave. They thanked Se-oops; him, once again and left.
It was a warm spring day with a few scattered clouds and a slight breeze. Both Naru and Kitsune were walking underneath a line of budding sakura trees. Soft, celestial budding pink sakura trees. Kitsune had her bag and arms behind her head and was looking to the branches of the trees. Naru had both hands on the bag in front of her, head down. She was blushing slightly. Kitsune noticed.
"Hey Naru. What's got your cheeks turnings into cherries?" Naru scowled and huffed angrily.
"Nothing Kitsune. Nothing at all."
"Yeah sure. I believe you." Kitsune paused, giving Naru a bit of time to gather herself. "Well anyways, the trees are looking really pretty today, don't you think? Aren't they Seta's favorite?'" Naru's head had snapped up at the mention of his name. And of course, Kitsune noticed.
"C'mon Naru. You know you can tell me." Naru snorted.
"Sure Kitsune. Go on living in your fantasy world." Pause. "But really it's noth-"
"What the heck are you talking about? Of course it's something! It's not everyday you react so."Kitsune trailed off, knowing her best friend too well. Naru would tell her.
Naru sighed resignedly. "Fine I'll tell you what's wrong.or right. See! That's the problem! I don't know if it's wrong or right! I can't fig-"
"I need to know the problem Naru." Silence.
"I.I-I think I like Seta. Romantically."
Kitsune's bag dropped to the ground along with her stomach. Her best friend Naru, liked the same person she did? The one person who took her seriously and didn't flake out on her? The one person Kitsune actually cared for liked the same person she did?
"O-oh. That's-uh-great." Kitsune stammered.
Naru's eyes widened. "You don't approve?" She whispered.
It was Kitsune's turn to be startled. Of course she didn't approve! She liked Seta too! She should be the one to get him since Naru always got the others! It wasn't fair but then neither was life. Naru was too good of a friend to lose over a man. A man whom she'd probably never see again after he finished tutoring them. And so, Kitsune took one major step towards becoming the Kitsune we know today.
"Of course I approve. What are you, crazy? Be happy and go after him. You deserve the best." Naru beamed happily. How could she not be happy? Now she could go after Seta and get that date she wanted. She was scared that Kitsune might have liked him. It sometimes seemed that way. Again she smiled. "Thanks Kitsune. You're a true friend."
That night, Kitsune discovered alcohol and the joyous oblivion that it brought.
.~.
Kitsune sighed and twisted her body so that her back was on the tabletop. She could feel the numbing fingers of the alcohol begin to take their effect. Lazily she smiled. When had she found that she liked alcohol? At the beginning, she had been repulsed by it's vulgarity. But when did she change? 'It must be that psychological stuff.' She reasoned.
The cognitive dissonance theory. That should be it. When her actions and attitudes clashed, she changed one. In this case, she thought alcohol was disgusting but drank it to forget him. And soon she changed her attitude so she loved alcohol and couldn't live without it.
That was crazy on her part. Now she would protect the sake with her life. Kitsune giggled. Kitsune usually never giggled.unless drunk.
Kitsune stood up quickly, again giggling about her dizziness. She stumbled to where she kept her stories and books. Stories written by her about various things. Books on dancing. And there you had her two passions in life. Writing and Dancing. She took her favorite dance book and flipped to various pages, her murky eyes taking in various dance moves.
She tilted her head to the side and moved to turn her classical CD on. Classical Japanese was beautiful. At least that's what she thought. Kitsune got up and began to slowly sway to the music and execute graceful twirls, motions and previously choreographed moves. Ah.she was free.
Kitsune collapsed to the floor taking in deep breathes of precious air. She was much too drunk to dance now. She could feel the burning bile rise up in her throat, waiting to be ejected. Kitsune stood up and ignoring the swimming surroundings, ran through the door she had just thrown open.
She made to the bathroom where she let the bile rise and come out. Disgusting. She got up and washed her face. Slowly she made her way back to her room, her sanctuary, and her home.
It wasn't the greatest feeling, being drunk. It caused the world to look light and a little crazy. And because of that, you thought that anything went. Kitsune could faintly remember when she told Keitaro about her love for Seta. She'd been drunk.
The classical Japanese continued to play as Kitsune slid the door shut and made her way over to her futon. She unrolled it and laid down. She wasn't going to sleep.
The sweet voice of the shamisen drifted through the air and met her ears. Kitsune sighed and closed her eyes. Everyone at the Hinata house loved the sound of the shamisen. However, Kitsune thought it was sad, depressed almost. It's tang's and ting's in slow procession reminded her of tears falling down cheeks, creating well-worn grooves.
The sun now slanted across the floor, no longer hiding above the girl's dormitory. It should have been around two o'clock. Kitsune opened her eyes when she first felt the warmth of the sun kiss her fingertips.
The hangover was looming over her head. Kitsune could just feel it. That was the worst part of getting drunk. The pain. You wanted to escape the pain and you did. But then it just comes back and smacks you in the face. Sort of like love.
Love was there to help you escape pain and leave you happy. You were supposed to be happy when you were in love. It was like a law. Kitsune snorted. She wasn't happy but she was in love. She was in love with a fool, someone who could brighten her day with one glance, smile or word.
And of course, her-no, sorry Haruka's poor fool was oblivious to her feelings therefore causing her unneeded grief at her age. That's what probably caused her to be one to give advice on relationships-her lack thereof and her experience. Men thought she was easy. A drink or two and she was in their bed. Pssh. Wishful thinking. Life wasn't that easy. And it wasn't fair. In fact if life was meant for anything, it was meant to love only one.
Or die loving that one from afar. 'It's better to have love and won. But to have love and lost is better than having never loved at all.' Kitsune mind was finally succumbing to the hangover.
Slowly, her mind began to dig up memories of the happy times with her friends. It was odd that it did that. Even she was perplexed. And she was the one controlling her mind. There was the time at Para-whatever it was. That was fun. Seeing Naru and Keitaro get so close was enjoyable. Of course then the poor Keitaro was blasted into oblivion-only to still be alive.
The joyous thoughts continued to race through Kitsune's mind, only adding to the throbbing pain taking over her. But there was more to those memories than just smiling and remembering. A revelation dawned on Kitsune. Her life wasn't the best. And she would trade parts of it for others. But there were some delicate and minute parts of her life that she would never change.
There were her friends who, though they had other things to keep them busy, were always there. Then there was her life-in general. She was doing a job she loved with no restrictions. And she was in love. Not many people could say that. At least not at her age. Kitsune was.well, happy. She was happy.
'I'm happy.'
~Fin
Tell me what you think. Good or bad. Review please.
Drown
Once again Kitsune was lonely. Once again she was trying to block them out. Once again she was failing. And once again she was drowning herself with alcohol.
They were all so happy. Naru, her best friend, had Keitaro the landlord. Motoko had her studies. Mutsumi had her watermelons, Su had her machinery, Kanako had her weird mask stuff, Shinobu had her studies and cooking, Tama- chan had whatever he had, and both Sarah and Haruka had him.
Him. He was the reason for all her problems in the first place. If he hadn't tutored herself and Naru then Kitsune wouldn't be as she was. She could be happy like them. She wouldn't be hopelessly in love with him. You never know, she could love someone else. But she could love only him. 'I would've never fallen in love with anyone else.' Kitsune thought glumly.
Maybe it was his thoughtlessness. Or his smile and charm. His fighting skill maybe? No. It was just him. He would never love the lowly Kitsune over the regal Haruka.
'I could have admitted my feelings earlier.' Thought Kitsune drunkenly. 'I had my chance. Not any more. He's not mine anymore. Not that he ever was.'
She shifted her amber liquid so that the noon sun glinted through its depths. Her brown eyes stared at the drink that made her life so much simpler, yet so much harder. Kitsune's bored expression turned into a frown as she waded through the muggy depths of her memory, trying to remember why she had started drinking. And once again the answer was him.
After yet again glancing at the liquor, Kitsune lifted it to her parched lips and gulped it down. 'Aha.' Kitsune thought. She remembered how she started drinking.
.~.
Of course, she and Naru had just finished a tutoring session with him and they were both getting ready to leave. They thanked Se-oops; him, once again and left.
It was a warm spring day with a few scattered clouds and a slight breeze. Both Naru and Kitsune were walking underneath a line of budding sakura trees. Soft, celestial budding pink sakura trees. Kitsune had her bag and arms behind her head and was looking to the branches of the trees. Naru had both hands on the bag in front of her, head down. She was blushing slightly. Kitsune noticed.
"Hey Naru. What's got your cheeks turnings into cherries?" Naru scowled and huffed angrily.
"Nothing Kitsune. Nothing at all."
"Yeah sure. I believe you." Kitsune paused, giving Naru a bit of time to gather herself. "Well anyways, the trees are looking really pretty today, don't you think? Aren't they Seta's favorite?'" Naru's head had snapped up at the mention of his name. And of course, Kitsune noticed.
"C'mon Naru. You know you can tell me." Naru snorted.
"Sure Kitsune. Go on living in your fantasy world." Pause. "But really it's noth-"
"What the heck are you talking about? Of course it's something! It's not everyday you react so."Kitsune trailed off, knowing her best friend too well. Naru would tell her.
Naru sighed resignedly. "Fine I'll tell you what's wrong.or right. See! That's the problem! I don't know if it's wrong or right! I can't fig-"
"I need to know the problem Naru." Silence.
"I.I-I think I like Seta. Romantically."
Kitsune's bag dropped to the ground along with her stomach. Her best friend Naru, liked the same person she did? The one person who took her seriously and didn't flake out on her? The one person Kitsune actually cared for liked the same person she did?
"O-oh. That's-uh-great." Kitsune stammered.
Naru's eyes widened. "You don't approve?" She whispered.
It was Kitsune's turn to be startled. Of course she didn't approve! She liked Seta too! She should be the one to get him since Naru always got the others! It wasn't fair but then neither was life. Naru was too good of a friend to lose over a man. A man whom she'd probably never see again after he finished tutoring them. And so, Kitsune took one major step towards becoming the Kitsune we know today.
"Of course I approve. What are you, crazy? Be happy and go after him. You deserve the best." Naru beamed happily. How could she not be happy? Now she could go after Seta and get that date she wanted. She was scared that Kitsune might have liked him. It sometimes seemed that way. Again she smiled. "Thanks Kitsune. You're a true friend."
That night, Kitsune discovered alcohol and the joyous oblivion that it brought.
.~.
Kitsune sighed and twisted her body so that her back was on the tabletop. She could feel the numbing fingers of the alcohol begin to take their effect. Lazily she smiled. When had she found that she liked alcohol? At the beginning, she had been repulsed by it's vulgarity. But when did she change? 'It must be that psychological stuff.' She reasoned.
The cognitive dissonance theory. That should be it. When her actions and attitudes clashed, she changed one. In this case, she thought alcohol was disgusting but drank it to forget him. And soon she changed her attitude so she loved alcohol and couldn't live without it.
That was crazy on her part. Now she would protect the sake with her life. Kitsune giggled. Kitsune usually never giggled.unless drunk.
Kitsune stood up quickly, again giggling about her dizziness. She stumbled to where she kept her stories and books. Stories written by her about various things. Books on dancing. And there you had her two passions in life. Writing and Dancing. She took her favorite dance book and flipped to various pages, her murky eyes taking in various dance moves.
She tilted her head to the side and moved to turn her classical CD on. Classical Japanese was beautiful. At least that's what she thought. Kitsune got up and began to slowly sway to the music and execute graceful twirls, motions and previously choreographed moves. Ah.she was free.
Kitsune collapsed to the floor taking in deep breathes of precious air. She was much too drunk to dance now. She could feel the burning bile rise up in her throat, waiting to be ejected. Kitsune stood up and ignoring the swimming surroundings, ran through the door she had just thrown open.
She made to the bathroom where she let the bile rise and come out. Disgusting. She got up and washed her face. Slowly she made her way back to her room, her sanctuary, and her home.
It wasn't the greatest feeling, being drunk. It caused the world to look light and a little crazy. And because of that, you thought that anything went. Kitsune could faintly remember when she told Keitaro about her love for Seta. She'd been drunk.
The classical Japanese continued to play as Kitsune slid the door shut and made her way over to her futon. She unrolled it and laid down. She wasn't going to sleep.
The sweet voice of the shamisen drifted through the air and met her ears. Kitsune sighed and closed her eyes. Everyone at the Hinata house loved the sound of the shamisen. However, Kitsune thought it was sad, depressed almost. It's tang's and ting's in slow procession reminded her of tears falling down cheeks, creating well-worn grooves.
The sun now slanted across the floor, no longer hiding above the girl's dormitory. It should have been around two o'clock. Kitsune opened her eyes when she first felt the warmth of the sun kiss her fingertips.
The hangover was looming over her head. Kitsune could just feel it. That was the worst part of getting drunk. The pain. You wanted to escape the pain and you did. But then it just comes back and smacks you in the face. Sort of like love.
Love was there to help you escape pain and leave you happy. You were supposed to be happy when you were in love. It was like a law. Kitsune snorted. She wasn't happy but she was in love. She was in love with a fool, someone who could brighten her day with one glance, smile or word.
And of course, her-no, sorry Haruka's poor fool was oblivious to her feelings therefore causing her unneeded grief at her age. That's what probably caused her to be one to give advice on relationships-her lack thereof and her experience. Men thought she was easy. A drink or two and she was in their bed. Pssh. Wishful thinking. Life wasn't that easy. And it wasn't fair. In fact if life was meant for anything, it was meant to love only one.
Or die loving that one from afar. 'It's better to have love and won. But to have love and lost is better than having never loved at all.' Kitsune mind was finally succumbing to the hangover.
Slowly, her mind began to dig up memories of the happy times with her friends. It was odd that it did that. Even she was perplexed. And she was the one controlling her mind. There was the time at Para-whatever it was. That was fun. Seeing Naru and Keitaro get so close was enjoyable. Of course then the poor Keitaro was blasted into oblivion-only to still be alive.
The joyous thoughts continued to race through Kitsune's mind, only adding to the throbbing pain taking over her. But there was more to those memories than just smiling and remembering. A revelation dawned on Kitsune. Her life wasn't the best. And she would trade parts of it for others. But there were some delicate and minute parts of her life that she would never change.
There were her friends who, though they had other things to keep them busy, were always there. Then there was her life-in general. She was doing a job she loved with no restrictions. And she was in love. Not many people could say that. At least not at her age. Kitsune was.well, happy. She was happy.
'I'm happy.'
~Fin
Tell me what you think. Good or bad. Review please.