A/N: Apologies. I've taken so long with all of this thanks to my computer dying and writer's block (ATFOA isn't dead, just needs a good kick...) but hopefully this chapter heralds a new age of fanfic-writing quickness (really, I'm sorry...) But on with the fic.
Warnings and disclaimer: We've been through this already, haven't we?
Reviewers: Moro Stagsleap (*Smiles*. Love you!) and Kaitourei (Yes, I'm going to go all the way through the movie. I just got delayed for a while.)
*********I killed a man.
I couldn't stop thinking it, the thought going around and around in my head and staining as deeply as the blood on my clothes. I killed a man, and I'm not sorry. The way he cowered and squirmed, blood cutting an arc through the air, still makes me feel sick- But- What's wrong with me? I had to, it was necessary, but still- What's wrong? I almost... enjoyed it.
I don't remember much of the flight from the burning lab, only looking back once as it began to implode. Nearly caught by a civilian as I came out, I skidded up a steep stairway of stained concrete- The roads home passed in a blur of neon and cement. I'd fallen into bed still dressed and smeared with soot, boots and glasses somewhere on the floor. It was a brief, blissful descent into oblivion for a few sweet hours, forgetting all that had happened...
"...Rock!"
I mumbled something and rolled over, too tired to move from my nice soft bed.
"Rock! What happened to you?! Duke Red can't see you like this!"
That got my attention. My eyes snapped open and I shot up, staring wildly around. When I saw it was just a Marduk, I relaxed slightly."What are you doing here?" I asked, wary. It was a new recruit, his hair falling over one eye in a strange manner. Preoccupied as I was, it didn't seem possible to remember his name. Vaguely, I could recall talking to him the day before.
The Marduk shifted from foot to foot, nervous in the commander's private rooms, though they were little different from the barracks. The only difference I'd ever seen was the lack of roommates and red sheets instead of blue. He cleared his throat and my attention moved back to him.
"I..." his voice squeaked, "I was sent to fetch you by Duke Red. He wants you in his office by- er- Eleven O'clock this morning."
I cocked my head to the side. "That's all?"
He blushed and stammered. "Y- yes. But sir-"
"What?"
"It's Ten forty-five..."
*********************I stood in front of my mirror a scant five minutes later, not having moved since I sent the boy packing with a few extremely creative death threats. He'd gone (quickly) and I'd rushed to find a change of clothes but caught sight of myself reflected-
I couldn't look away.
I was streaked with soot, scraped, and there was a flaky patch of red-brown marring my shirt that I really didn't want to think about. I knew if I checked the bed they'd be there too... Dirty reminders of what I'd done. Visions of the last night started to come back to me, tainting my vision with blood-red flame and mocking green eyes, a man's last cry of pain...
Suddenly unable to stand, I pitched forward, crumpling against the glassed wall panel. Harsh breaths made my body shudder as I fought nausea, and I closed my eyes to a vision of a green gaze watching me with indifferent malice. She smiled, cruelly, and I could see the wires snaking beneath her porcelain skin.
Tima, my sister, creature of a warped mind, knelt and cupped my chin in a sparking hand.
She leaned close, and another Tima, one of flesh and blood, wet crimson staining her dress around a bullet hole I knew would be there, leaned in from behind. I could feel their breath, both ice cold, on my skin. They smiled and whispered as one.
"All your fault," they said, mockingly, "all your fault, brother."
I clutched my head and screamed.
***************************
Dark stars swirled overhead, painting a pattern that made me giddy as a voice called from far away. I had the strange sensation of sinking, and watched my hands begin to be consumed by the tarry black ooze I was perched upon. In perfect calm, I watched it lace up my arm and pull down, preparing to drown me. I didn't mind.
A strange sensation jarred back and forth and I closed my eyes as my teeth knocked together, opening them to that same Marduk standing over me, shaking my shoulders and panicking when I wouldn't wake.
"Unh..." I said, inarticulate. He immediately stopped.
"Sir!" he cried, "are you okay? Are you hurt?"
"Ugh," I said, putting a hand to my head and standing uncertainly, "I don't know..."
Trying to step towards the door my knee buckled, and I half-fell before the Marduk caught me. As he helped me over to sit on my bed, I decided to make it a point to know my Marduk's names from now on. I couldn't just keep calling him "Marduk", could I?
As I was thinking, he straightened up. "Is something wrong with you, sir?" he asked, worriedly, "are you sick?"
I looked up. "Possibly," I said, weary, "possibly."
"An- anything you need?"
"Uh," I racked my addled brains for something I knew I'd forgotten. Ah, yes. "Could you pass me a clean uniform?"
He looked at me strangely. "What's wrong with that one?" he asked, confused. I'd given him an equally strange look back. Couldn't he see the streaks of soot and blood not my own? I stood to point those out to him, then caught a glimpse of myself in the treacherous mirror.
There was nothing marking me, my uniform clean as new.
I cast one confused look back at the Marduk, who reciprocated, and left to see my father.