AN: Sorry for the long wait :( My computer went insane. The good news is
that chapter four will be out next weekend.
Title: The Trouble with You Chapter 3
Author name: the evil mumu san (ff.net) / mumuchan/ mumuchan2003@yahoo.com
Pairings: Harry/Draco
Disclaimer: Stolen from Ranma 1/2 and Harry Potter, which belong to Rumiko Takahashi and J.K.R. respectively. I'm not making any money (god knows). If I've made anyone really angry just let me know and I shall bake them a cupcake.
Rating: Oh, PG-13 for now. Possible R in the future.
Summary: A Ranma 1/2 inspired Harry/Draco romance. No prior knowledge of the anime necessary. Just a very silly fic in which Draco attempts to become an Animagus and fails miserably. Harry ends up helping him cover for it and much slashy-ness ensues.
Categories: Romance, Humor.
Warnings: Nothing to worry about; hopefully slash (duh), lots of unnecessary swearing, gratuitous use of the word "piggy" and perhaps some hot Draco lovin'. You know, the general sort of thing.
Special Thanks To: my beautiful beta- Currer Bell
The first thing Draco noticed as he slowly regained consciousness was that his head felt as if it contained thirty or so hippogriffs, all trying to escape from inside his skull. Groaning, he attempted to turn over, only to find himself held down. The pain in his head started to recede and he felt the cool, tingly sensation of a mild healing spell.
Slowly opening his eyes Draco looked up. Above him loomed what appeared to be a gigantic, dragon sized Hermione Granger. "Oh," thought Draco, "This nightmare again." The gigantic Granger made a cooing sound and Draco attempted to pinch himself. Instead of waking up he was thrust into a tight hug, and he found his face stuffed between two breasts that, while being nothing special when Granger was normal sized, where at least twice as big as he was in this particular dream. "This certainly hasn't happened in this dream before; I thought she was going to try to eat me like she usually does." thought Draco, making an effort not to blush.
Suddenly a loud familiar voice boomed near his ear, causing the pain to return with a vengeance. Wincing, Draco turned his head fractionally. A gigantic Weasley also loomed above him. "That's not right." Draco thought "Weasley is part of the "Ha ha, you're poor now" nightmare. Granger is the gigantic sized monster trying to eat me nightmare, Potter always appears during the naked at school nightmare-."Slowly what the weird giants were saying filtered through Draco's still-throbbing head.
"Do you think it could be a student?"
"Well, it seems like a pretty random place for a piglet to be."
"Yes, we should take him to Pomfrey - aww, look he's waking up. How cute! I hope he's alright."
"How do you know it's a boy?"
"How do you think, Ron?"
"Huh? Oh! Hey, maybe you should stop hugging it like that then. I think it's blushing. Stupid pervert pig."
"Oh, honestly, Ron! It's a piglet. They don't blush and even if they did-"
Wait a minute. Piglet? -What piglet? He turned into a pi- shit! Struggling mightily Draco attempted to squirm out of Hermione's grasp, but she was much stronger than he, and he was left squeaking helplessly and in an entirely undignified manner. Cooing softly, her two boy-toys following loyally behind, Granger carried him up the stairs to the infirmary and, Draco gloomily suspected, to his doom.
*** Harry gazed curiously at the piglet, which was trying its utmost to get loose from Hermione's grasp. Something seemed wrong with the way it was acting. He definitely thought it was a cursed student; it just didn't seem very.pig-ish.
Hermione was struggling to get the poor thing to calm down, cooing to it softly and being as gentle as she could whist still maintaining the death- grip she had on it. The piglet, however was having none of that and wiggled, kicked and squealed in a desperate manner all the way to the infirmary. Ron seemed dubious about the whole affair and kept eyeing the piglet in an annoyed manner.
"I'm just glad we left the table early; if this had happened any later we would have been late for potions."
"Oh, honestly, Ron, like we could leave a poor bleeding baby animal lying there. I cannot believe you sometime-OW!"
Hermione had loosened her grip on the piglet and, seeing it's chance, the "poor thing" had clamped its teeth onto her hand. Swearing rather shockingly in several different languages Hermione desperately attempted to shake the animal loose.
"OW! Ow! Harry, Ron, kill it!" Hermione shrieked while shaking the pig attached to her hand. The scene would have been quite comical if it hadn't been for the fact that both Hermione and the pig looked as if they would be seriously injured if something wasn't done. Acting on impulse, Harry did the first thing that came to mind.
"Expelliarmus!"
The piglet flew from Hermione's hand through the air towards Harry, who caught it with a Seeker's reflexes.
Looking slightly dazed the small animal gazed up at Harry, it seemed too tired and confused to struggle. Harry held it tightly anyway, just in case.
Hermione was looking at her hand, which was bleeding slightly, Ron was attempting to determine if she was all right while choking down his amusement.
"Oh, shut up, Ron-- I'm fine. Stop laughing, it wasn't funny. Harry, is the poor thing alright?" Hermione asked, sucking on her bite-wound.
"Fine, he's a bit dazed though, which means he's not putting up much of a struggle. Let's get him -and you- into the infirmary." Hermione smiled at him and they headed into the anti-septic scented room. Ron collapsed onto a chair and Harry and Hermione headed towards the back of the room, where Madame Pomfrey was administering a nasty-looking potion to two girls who appeared to be having a glaring contest and were both covered in nasty looking purple boils; clearing his throat, Harry got the hassled looking nurse's attention.
Waving absently in Harry's direction, Madame Pomfrey turned and rummaged into a cupboard. "Yes, yes Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, what can I do for you?"
"Well, you see, we found this piglet outside of the potions classroom, and we thought it might be a student, because Hogwarts doesn't often have piglets wandering around, so we figured we'd bring it to you-"
Madame Pomfrey nodded curtly and reached for the pig, gently examining it before doing several spells and dabbing it in a few reveling potions. Looking mildly surprised she handed the still dazed-looking pig back to Harry, who accepted it gently. "No, Potter, it's just an ordinary pig, as far as I can tell. It looks like it's head it healing nicely, too, " This was said with an approving look at Hermione, who beamed. "It might be suffering from a mild concussion, however, I'd take it to Hagrid, he'll look after it for you." Harry and Hermione nodded and headed out of the infirmary with Ron. Halfway to the potions classroom Hermione checked her watch and turned to Ron and Harry. "I still have a bit of time before class starts so I'm going to run over to Hagrid's and leave the poor thing there. You two go down to the classroom and I'll meet you in a bit." Hermione jogged away, leaving a slightly annoyed Ron and an amused Harry behind.
"Oh, honestly, I can't believe her sometimes," said Ron rather huffily. Harry laughed.
Before potions class began a flushed but happy Hermione arrived at the classroom door, grinning. "Harry, Ron, you won't believe it! Hagrid has these new creatures, they're amazing, like wolf-bear combinations, I bet we'll have a really good care of magical creatures this year, but anyway, these creatures, they eat pigs, they really like them, and so Hagrid said that I could keep the piglet since I found it! So before class started I ran up to my dormitory and left the pig there. You two can help me care for it."
Before Ron or Harry could respond Professor Snape swept past the class and into the dungeon classroom, the silent class followed meekly.
"Hey," muttered Ron, "where's Malfoy run off to?"
***
After morning classes and lunch in the great hall was over the three Gryffindors' entered into the common room through the portrait hole and were greeted with a rather surprising sight: The white piglet seemed to have destroyed a good portion of the surrounding common room and was trying to get out through the portrait hole, several dozen Gryffindors' were chasing after it, throwing haphazard stunning spells and hitting everything but the fast moving pig. As soon as the trio entered the room the piglet attempted to break out between their feet, but as it saw Hermione it skidded to a stop, turned, and, squealing, ran under a couch, where it sat shivering slightly and making small grunting sounds.
"Ah, Hermione, I don't think it likes you all that much," Ron said, looking very entertained indeed.
If looks could have killed, the one Hermione sent him following that comment would have left him spontaneously combusted, possibly minus several vital organs. Turning huffily, Hermione flipped her hair and attempted to coax the piglet out from under the couch. The piglet gave her an incredulous look and backed away while attempting to bite her questing hands.
Harry gave a long-suffering sight and headed over to the couch, grabbing the piglet by the scruff of the neck and holding its struggling form in the air to cries of "don't hurt the poor thing" from Hermione and angry squeals from the pig.
Just then an enraged looking Lavender ran down the stairs, followed closely by an equally angry looking Pavarti.
"That monster ruined the dorm!" Lavender looked as if she badly wanted a pitchfork just then. "I'll kill it!" The piglet stopped struggling abruptly and appeared as if it would like to be able to make itself smaller.
"Oh, but it's just a baby." Hermione said, looking unimpressed at her dorm- mate's rage, which had most of the boys in the room wincing, "He doesn't know better, and I need to take care of him. Besides, how bad could it possibly be? He's so tiny, he can't do that much damage." Pavarti growled slightly and graded Hermione by the wrist, dragging her forcibly up the stairs.
Several minutes later a very subdued Hermione walked up to Harry and muttered quietly, "I can't keep the pig in my room. I need you to look after it."
Ron and several of the other boys made sputtering noises, and the pig began to struggle again, but Harry just grinned. "Sure, when we're not in we can just - hog-tie it." He gave the pig a predatory look, and it ceased once more in trying to get away, looking distinctly alarmed. Harry's suspicions were nearly confirmed. Most pigs that he had heard of didn't respond to English. There was something going on here.
***
It was with a great deal of distress that Draco found himself carried by his neck up several flights of stairs to the deserted sixth year boys dorms. It was with even greater distress that he found himself bound tightly with a curtain tie and tossed on the crimson sheets of one Harry Potter's bed, before said boy began to rummage through a trunk nearby. Taking out several books the-boy-who-lived began to flip through them, obviously looking for a certain passage. Draco couldn't make out the titles from where he was. After several minutes of furious flipping and muttered curses Potter let out a triumphant shout and aimed his wand at Draco, letting a muttered incantation escape his lips. Draco felt a dizzy twisting sensation in his stomach and a pricking sensation in all of his limbs. Harry watched from the bed in dull shock.
Abruptly the ropes that tied Draco burst loose, too tight to contain him and the prickling sensation stopped. Then Harry said the worst thing Draco had ever heard come from his mouth.
"Malfoy? Is that - you?"
*** So - like I said, sorry for the long wait, next chapter will be up sooner. And just in case anyone is wondering - yes, despite the attraction Draco seems to have to Hermione, this is slash. Don't worry.
Title: The Trouble with You Chapter 3
Author name: the evil mumu san (ff.net) / mumuchan/ mumuchan2003@yahoo.com
Pairings: Harry/Draco
Disclaimer: Stolen from Ranma 1/2 and Harry Potter, which belong to Rumiko Takahashi and J.K.R. respectively. I'm not making any money (god knows). If I've made anyone really angry just let me know and I shall bake them a cupcake.
Rating: Oh, PG-13 for now. Possible R in the future.
Summary: A Ranma 1/2 inspired Harry/Draco romance. No prior knowledge of the anime necessary. Just a very silly fic in which Draco attempts to become an Animagus and fails miserably. Harry ends up helping him cover for it and much slashy-ness ensues.
Categories: Romance, Humor.
Warnings: Nothing to worry about; hopefully slash (duh), lots of unnecessary swearing, gratuitous use of the word "piggy" and perhaps some hot Draco lovin'. You know, the general sort of thing.
Special Thanks To: my beautiful beta- Currer Bell
The first thing Draco noticed as he slowly regained consciousness was that his head felt as if it contained thirty or so hippogriffs, all trying to escape from inside his skull. Groaning, he attempted to turn over, only to find himself held down. The pain in his head started to recede and he felt the cool, tingly sensation of a mild healing spell.
Slowly opening his eyes Draco looked up. Above him loomed what appeared to be a gigantic, dragon sized Hermione Granger. "Oh," thought Draco, "This nightmare again." The gigantic Granger made a cooing sound and Draco attempted to pinch himself. Instead of waking up he was thrust into a tight hug, and he found his face stuffed between two breasts that, while being nothing special when Granger was normal sized, where at least twice as big as he was in this particular dream. "This certainly hasn't happened in this dream before; I thought she was going to try to eat me like she usually does." thought Draco, making an effort not to blush.
Suddenly a loud familiar voice boomed near his ear, causing the pain to return with a vengeance. Wincing, Draco turned his head fractionally. A gigantic Weasley also loomed above him. "That's not right." Draco thought "Weasley is part of the "Ha ha, you're poor now" nightmare. Granger is the gigantic sized monster trying to eat me nightmare, Potter always appears during the naked at school nightmare-."Slowly what the weird giants were saying filtered through Draco's still-throbbing head.
"Do you think it could be a student?"
"Well, it seems like a pretty random place for a piglet to be."
"Yes, we should take him to Pomfrey - aww, look he's waking up. How cute! I hope he's alright."
"How do you know it's a boy?"
"How do you think, Ron?"
"Huh? Oh! Hey, maybe you should stop hugging it like that then. I think it's blushing. Stupid pervert pig."
"Oh, honestly, Ron! It's a piglet. They don't blush and even if they did-"
Wait a minute. Piglet? -What piglet? He turned into a pi- shit! Struggling mightily Draco attempted to squirm out of Hermione's grasp, but she was much stronger than he, and he was left squeaking helplessly and in an entirely undignified manner. Cooing softly, her two boy-toys following loyally behind, Granger carried him up the stairs to the infirmary and, Draco gloomily suspected, to his doom.
*** Harry gazed curiously at the piglet, which was trying its utmost to get loose from Hermione's grasp. Something seemed wrong with the way it was acting. He definitely thought it was a cursed student; it just didn't seem very.pig-ish.
Hermione was struggling to get the poor thing to calm down, cooing to it softly and being as gentle as she could whist still maintaining the death- grip she had on it. The piglet, however was having none of that and wiggled, kicked and squealed in a desperate manner all the way to the infirmary. Ron seemed dubious about the whole affair and kept eyeing the piglet in an annoyed manner.
"I'm just glad we left the table early; if this had happened any later we would have been late for potions."
"Oh, honestly, Ron, like we could leave a poor bleeding baby animal lying there. I cannot believe you sometime-OW!"
Hermione had loosened her grip on the piglet and, seeing it's chance, the "poor thing" had clamped its teeth onto her hand. Swearing rather shockingly in several different languages Hermione desperately attempted to shake the animal loose.
"OW! Ow! Harry, Ron, kill it!" Hermione shrieked while shaking the pig attached to her hand. The scene would have been quite comical if it hadn't been for the fact that both Hermione and the pig looked as if they would be seriously injured if something wasn't done. Acting on impulse, Harry did the first thing that came to mind.
"Expelliarmus!"
The piglet flew from Hermione's hand through the air towards Harry, who caught it with a Seeker's reflexes.
Looking slightly dazed the small animal gazed up at Harry, it seemed too tired and confused to struggle. Harry held it tightly anyway, just in case.
Hermione was looking at her hand, which was bleeding slightly, Ron was attempting to determine if she was all right while choking down his amusement.
"Oh, shut up, Ron-- I'm fine. Stop laughing, it wasn't funny. Harry, is the poor thing alright?" Hermione asked, sucking on her bite-wound.
"Fine, he's a bit dazed though, which means he's not putting up much of a struggle. Let's get him -and you- into the infirmary." Hermione smiled at him and they headed into the anti-septic scented room. Ron collapsed onto a chair and Harry and Hermione headed towards the back of the room, where Madame Pomfrey was administering a nasty-looking potion to two girls who appeared to be having a glaring contest and were both covered in nasty looking purple boils; clearing his throat, Harry got the hassled looking nurse's attention.
Waving absently in Harry's direction, Madame Pomfrey turned and rummaged into a cupboard. "Yes, yes Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, what can I do for you?"
"Well, you see, we found this piglet outside of the potions classroom, and we thought it might be a student, because Hogwarts doesn't often have piglets wandering around, so we figured we'd bring it to you-"
Madame Pomfrey nodded curtly and reached for the pig, gently examining it before doing several spells and dabbing it in a few reveling potions. Looking mildly surprised she handed the still dazed-looking pig back to Harry, who accepted it gently. "No, Potter, it's just an ordinary pig, as far as I can tell. It looks like it's head it healing nicely, too, " This was said with an approving look at Hermione, who beamed. "It might be suffering from a mild concussion, however, I'd take it to Hagrid, he'll look after it for you." Harry and Hermione nodded and headed out of the infirmary with Ron. Halfway to the potions classroom Hermione checked her watch and turned to Ron and Harry. "I still have a bit of time before class starts so I'm going to run over to Hagrid's and leave the poor thing there. You two go down to the classroom and I'll meet you in a bit." Hermione jogged away, leaving a slightly annoyed Ron and an amused Harry behind.
"Oh, honestly, I can't believe her sometimes," said Ron rather huffily. Harry laughed.
Before potions class began a flushed but happy Hermione arrived at the classroom door, grinning. "Harry, Ron, you won't believe it! Hagrid has these new creatures, they're amazing, like wolf-bear combinations, I bet we'll have a really good care of magical creatures this year, but anyway, these creatures, they eat pigs, they really like them, and so Hagrid said that I could keep the piglet since I found it! So before class started I ran up to my dormitory and left the pig there. You two can help me care for it."
Before Ron or Harry could respond Professor Snape swept past the class and into the dungeon classroom, the silent class followed meekly.
"Hey," muttered Ron, "where's Malfoy run off to?"
***
After morning classes and lunch in the great hall was over the three Gryffindors' entered into the common room through the portrait hole and were greeted with a rather surprising sight: The white piglet seemed to have destroyed a good portion of the surrounding common room and was trying to get out through the portrait hole, several dozen Gryffindors' were chasing after it, throwing haphazard stunning spells and hitting everything but the fast moving pig. As soon as the trio entered the room the piglet attempted to break out between their feet, but as it saw Hermione it skidded to a stop, turned, and, squealing, ran under a couch, where it sat shivering slightly and making small grunting sounds.
"Ah, Hermione, I don't think it likes you all that much," Ron said, looking very entertained indeed.
If looks could have killed, the one Hermione sent him following that comment would have left him spontaneously combusted, possibly minus several vital organs. Turning huffily, Hermione flipped her hair and attempted to coax the piglet out from under the couch. The piglet gave her an incredulous look and backed away while attempting to bite her questing hands.
Harry gave a long-suffering sight and headed over to the couch, grabbing the piglet by the scruff of the neck and holding its struggling form in the air to cries of "don't hurt the poor thing" from Hermione and angry squeals from the pig.
Just then an enraged looking Lavender ran down the stairs, followed closely by an equally angry looking Pavarti.
"That monster ruined the dorm!" Lavender looked as if she badly wanted a pitchfork just then. "I'll kill it!" The piglet stopped struggling abruptly and appeared as if it would like to be able to make itself smaller.
"Oh, but it's just a baby." Hermione said, looking unimpressed at her dorm- mate's rage, which had most of the boys in the room wincing, "He doesn't know better, and I need to take care of him. Besides, how bad could it possibly be? He's so tiny, he can't do that much damage." Pavarti growled slightly and graded Hermione by the wrist, dragging her forcibly up the stairs.
Several minutes later a very subdued Hermione walked up to Harry and muttered quietly, "I can't keep the pig in my room. I need you to look after it."
Ron and several of the other boys made sputtering noises, and the pig began to struggle again, but Harry just grinned. "Sure, when we're not in we can just - hog-tie it." He gave the pig a predatory look, and it ceased once more in trying to get away, looking distinctly alarmed. Harry's suspicions were nearly confirmed. Most pigs that he had heard of didn't respond to English. There was something going on here.
***
It was with a great deal of distress that Draco found himself carried by his neck up several flights of stairs to the deserted sixth year boys dorms. It was with even greater distress that he found himself bound tightly with a curtain tie and tossed on the crimson sheets of one Harry Potter's bed, before said boy began to rummage through a trunk nearby. Taking out several books the-boy-who-lived began to flip through them, obviously looking for a certain passage. Draco couldn't make out the titles from where he was. After several minutes of furious flipping and muttered curses Potter let out a triumphant shout and aimed his wand at Draco, letting a muttered incantation escape his lips. Draco felt a dizzy twisting sensation in his stomach and a pricking sensation in all of his limbs. Harry watched from the bed in dull shock.
Abruptly the ropes that tied Draco burst loose, too tight to contain him and the prickling sensation stopped. Then Harry said the worst thing Draco had ever heard come from his mouth.
"Malfoy? Is that - you?"
*** So - like I said, sorry for the long wait, next chapter will be up sooner. And just in case anyone is wondering - yes, despite the attraction Draco seems to have to Hermione, this is slash. Don't worry.