Title: The Trouble with You- Chapter 4: Red Shoe Sunday
Author name: the evil mumu san (ff.net) / mumuchan/ mumuchan2003@yahoo.com
Pairings: Harry/Draco
Disclaimer: Stolen from Ranma 1/2 and Harry Potter, which belong to Rumiko Takahashi and J.K.R. respectively. I'm not making any money (god knows). If I've made anyone really angry just let me know and I shall bake them a cupcake.
Rating: Oh, PG-13 for now. Possible R in the future.
Summary: A Ranma 1/2 inspired Harry/Draco romance. No prior knowledge of the anime necessary. Just a very silly fic in which Draco attempts to become an Animagus and fails miserably. Harry ends up helping him cover for it and much slashy-ness ensues.
Categories: Romance, Humor.
Warnings: Nothing to worry about; hopefully slash (duh), lots of unnecessary swearing, gratuitous use of the word "piggy" and perhaps some hot Draco lovin'. You know, the general sort of thing.
Special Thanks To: my beautiful beta- Currer Bell
Notes: To those of you aware of the Ranma 1/2 universe - Since Draco is an animagus, not a cursed martial artist, in this he will be keeping his clothes on from transformation to transformation (as per canon). Sorry, I know this is disappointing. However, if Draco was, say, taking a shower, and then he transformed then - heh.
Anyone who can tell me why my chapter title is my chapter title gets crazy fangirl points and - and - I dunno, other good stuff - I'll, uh, write them into a sex scene with Draco -_-.
In this chapter: Draco hates Harry. Harry hates Draco. Harry doesn't hate Draco so much. Draco still hates Harry, but must pretend to tolerate him. When are they gonna jump each other? Sorry Charlie, not this chapter.
***
Harry covered his eyes as a white light surrounded the piglet. Its form seemed to writhe, getting bigger, changing shape.
So it had been an Animagus. He'd been right.
The ropes tying the "piglet" sprang loose. Harry grabbed his wand from the bedside table.
As the transformation ended the light faded and the figure became clearer. A Hogwarts uniform. Another unregistered student? How had he missed this? A boy, slim, with - white blonde hair? Malfoy?
"Gahh! Malfoy? Is that you?"
Lying in a disheveled heap at the end of Harry's bed, his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide, Draco looked very much as if someone had killed his kitten (or perhaps stopped him from killing his kitten, bastard). Harry stayed frozen as well, staring at him in complete shock from his kneeling position near the bed's headboard. A full ten seconds passed. Suddenly they both sprang into action. Or, at least, Draco sprang; onto Harry, leveling his wand at the Gryffindor's throat. Harry more collapsed into action, dropping his wand and giggling helplessly, he made no attempt to fend off the furious looking blonde.
"And just what," Draco hissed, doing a fair impression of "menacing", "Is so funny, Potter?"
Harry wanted to answer, he really did, and he made a really honest effort at it, but he couldn't get anything out between the laughter. Finally he managed: "Malfoy", "You" and "Piglet" in between hysterical laughter. Draco blushed and snarled simultaneously.
"You'd better not tell anyone about this, Potter," he hissed violently.
Harry smirked at him. "Or what? You'll squeal at me until I die of vague annoyance?"
Harry had him there. The most Draco could hope to do to Harry was to hex him. Maybe.
"I could Obliviate you." Draco spat, trying to hide his failing bravado.
Harry snorted. " Even if you were capable of doing the spell correctly, which is unlikely, as if you could you would have by now, the schools been warded since the end of second year. The most you could hope to do to me at the moment would be to throw some mildly nasty hex, and frankly I think that even Crucio would be worth it to see what happens to you when the whole school finds out you're a -" Harry collapsed into another fit of laughter and Draco attempted to look more menacing.
"Fine, Potter." Draco snarled, abruptly releasing Harry and moving off the bed. "What do you want?"
Harry stopped laughing abruptly and stared at Draco. " Pardon?"
Draco threw Harry an exasperated look. "Well, Potter, as I sincerely doubt that you will keep this to yourself out of the goodness of your little Gryffindor heart, I suppose I will have to convince you to keep this - situation - to yourself in some other way. It's called 'Blackmail'; I believe it's the traditional means for dealing with such matters. So, once again what do you want?"
Harry wrinkled his nose. "Malfoy, you don't have anything I could ever want that I couldn't get for myself. Blackmail might be the sort of thing a twisted individual like you would be interested in, but I think I'll settle for doing the nice, brave, noble, Gryffindor thing, and tell the whole school about you. For your own health of course, since you clearly don't have full control of your transformation and I'd hate it if you hurt yourself." Harry shot the panicked Slytherin a sarcastic grin and grabbed his wand, ready to fend off an incoming hex. Instead he was surprised to have Malfoy once again pounce on him.
***
Draco sighed internally. There was nothing for it; he'd have to result to alternate methods.
Grabbing Harry's shirtfront, Draco frantically shook him. "You can't! Potter, please, please don't! You don't understand. My father, he'll - ". Draco dropped Harry's shirt and looked away, keeping his eyes wide and his face sad.
"What does your father have to do with anything, Malfoy?"
Draco surreptitiously pinched himself and both eyes watered. "He'll be so angry."
"Your father? What? Will he - hurt you?" Potter sounded shocked and subdued. Draco did an internal victory dance. It worked every time. Why did everyone think Father beat him? Did he come off as an abused child? Just because Father enjoyed torturing and killing helpless Muggles didn't make him some evil psycho, honestly.
Looking down, Draco sniffled slightly for effect. "Father, well, he doesn't try to hurt me, but he gets so angry and he just doesn't know his own strength sometimes. He put me up to turning into an Animagus and he'll be so upset that I've failed..." Draco trailed off. Potter couldn't possibly be buying this.
"Oh. I never knew." Potter sounded awkward.
He was buying it! He really did think father - HA! It was amazing Potter didn't walk into walls on a regular basis.
Draco turned back to face Harry. "Just please don't tell anyone! I'll do whatever you want." Harry gave him a sympathetic smile.
"I would never blackmail you, not after what you've just told me! How's this sound: we'll forget this ever happened, and I'll cover for you if something like this ever happens again." Harry hesitated. "But I have to know. Is your hatred of Muggle-borns and bad attitude just a mask you present to the world in order to appease your evil, abusive father?"
Sixteen years of freely announcing one's hate towards Mudbloods is hard to shake off, even under the best of circumstances. Before Draco could stop himself and come up with an appropriate lie for the occasion "No, I really do hate filthy Mudbloods, you complete idiot," slipped from his mouth.
Harry immediately stiffened and some of his friendly demeanor dropped. "Well, that's unfortunate." Gryffindor optimism appeared to take him once more. "But that's probably not your fault. Malfoy, We may not have a great history, but let's try to turn over a new leaf. We might not be able to be friends, and you might have to act like a prat but let's not hate each other, okay? Truce?" Harry extended a hand.
At that moment there was nothing Draco would have liked more than to leave him with a scathing retort, hand still extended. His sense of self- preservation forbade such action, however, and he took hold of his rival's hand, giving it a half-hearted shake before letting go. He resisted the urge to wipe his hands on his robes. Potter beamed at him.
Someone up there really hated him.
***
So, now that I have all that silly plot stuff out of the way (you know the "why would they ever tolerate each other for any extended period of time" plot) we can move slowly but surely towards the boysex! Yay!
A very short but very important chapter.
Next time: Will Draco be able to handle the awesome power of a well-meaning Gryffindor? Who the hell is Mr. Boo-boo? What are Hagrid's mysterious pig- eating animals anyway? - All will become clear!
Author name: the evil mumu san (ff.net) / mumuchan/ mumuchan2003@yahoo.com
Pairings: Harry/Draco
Disclaimer: Stolen from Ranma 1/2 and Harry Potter, which belong to Rumiko Takahashi and J.K.R. respectively. I'm not making any money (god knows). If I've made anyone really angry just let me know and I shall bake them a cupcake.
Rating: Oh, PG-13 for now. Possible R in the future.
Summary: A Ranma 1/2 inspired Harry/Draco romance. No prior knowledge of the anime necessary. Just a very silly fic in which Draco attempts to become an Animagus and fails miserably. Harry ends up helping him cover for it and much slashy-ness ensues.
Categories: Romance, Humor.
Warnings: Nothing to worry about; hopefully slash (duh), lots of unnecessary swearing, gratuitous use of the word "piggy" and perhaps some hot Draco lovin'. You know, the general sort of thing.
Special Thanks To: my beautiful beta- Currer Bell
Notes: To those of you aware of the Ranma 1/2 universe - Since Draco is an animagus, not a cursed martial artist, in this he will be keeping his clothes on from transformation to transformation (as per canon). Sorry, I know this is disappointing. However, if Draco was, say, taking a shower, and then he transformed then - heh.
Anyone who can tell me why my chapter title is my chapter title gets crazy fangirl points and - and - I dunno, other good stuff - I'll, uh, write them into a sex scene with Draco -_-.
In this chapter: Draco hates Harry. Harry hates Draco. Harry doesn't hate Draco so much. Draco still hates Harry, but must pretend to tolerate him. When are they gonna jump each other? Sorry Charlie, not this chapter.
***
Harry covered his eyes as a white light surrounded the piglet. Its form seemed to writhe, getting bigger, changing shape.
So it had been an Animagus. He'd been right.
The ropes tying the "piglet" sprang loose. Harry grabbed his wand from the bedside table.
As the transformation ended the light faded and the figure became clearer. A Hogwarts uniform. Another unregistered student? How had he missed this? A boy, slim, with - white blonde hair? Malfoy?
"Gahh! Malfoy? Is that you?"
Lying in a disheveled heap at the end of Harry's bed, his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide, Draco looked very much as if someone had killed his kitten (or perhaps stopped him from killing his kitten, bastard). Harry stayed frozen as well, staring at him in complete shock from his kneeling position near the bed's headboard. A full ten seconds passed. Suddenly they both sprang into action. Or, at least, Draco sprang; onto Harry, leveling his wand at the Gryffindor's throat. Harry more collapsed into action, dropping his wand and giggling helplessly, he made no attempt to fend off the furious looking blonde.
"And just what," Draco hissed, doing a fair impression of "menacing", "Is so funny, Potter?"
Harry wanted to answer, he really did, and he made a really honest effort at it, but he couldn't get anything out between the laughter. Finally he managed: "Malfoy", "You" and "Piglet" in between hysterical laughter. Draco blushed and snarled simultaneously.
"You'd better not tell anyone about this, Potter," he hissed violently.
Harry smirked at him. "Or what? You'll squeal at me until I die of vague annoyance?"
Harry had him there. The most Draco could hope to do to Harry was to hex him. Maybe.
"I could Obliviate you." Draco spat, trying to hide his failing bravado.
Harry snorted. " Even if you were capable of doing the spell correctly, which is unlikely, as if you could you would have by now, the schools been warded since the end of second year. The most you could hope to do to me at the moment would be to throw some mildly nasty hex, and frankly I think that even Crucio would be worth it to see what happens to you when the whole school finds out you're a -" Harry collapsed into another fit of laughter and Draco attempted to look more menacing.
"Fine, Potter." Draco snarled, abruptly releasing Harry and moving off the bed. "What do you want?"
Harry stopped laughing abruptly and stared at Draco. " Pardon?"
Draco threw Harry an exasperated look. "Well, Potter, as I sincerely doubt that you will keep this to yourself out of the goodness of your little Gryffindor heart, I suppose I will have to convince you to keep this - situation - to yourself in some other way. It's called 'Blackmail'; I believe it's the traditional means for dealing with such matters. So, once again what do you want?"
Harry wrinkled his nose. "Malfoy, you don't have anything I could ever want that I couldn't get for myself. Blackmail might be the sort of thing a twisted individual like you would be interested in, but I think I'll settle for doing the nice, brave, noble, Gryffindor thing, and tell the whole school about you. For your own health of course, since you clearly don't have full control of your transformation and I'd hate it if you hurt yourself." Harry shot the panicked Slytherin a sarcastic grin and grabbed his wand, ready to fend off an incoming hex. Instead he was surprised to have Malfoy once again pounce on him.
***
Draco sighed internally. There was nothing for it; he'd have to result to alternate methods.
Grabbing Harry's shirtfront, Draco frantically shook him. "You can't! Potter, please, please don't! You don't understand. My father, he'll - ". Draco dropped Harry's shirt and looked away, keeping his eyes wide and his face sad.
"What does your father have to do with anything, Malfoy?"
Draco surreptitiously pinched himself and both eyes watered. "He'll be so angry."
"Your father? What? Will he - hurt you?" Potter sounded shocked and subdued. Draco did an internal victory dance. It worked every time. Why did everyone think Father beat him? Did he come off as an abused child? Just because Father enjoyed torturing and killing helpless Muggles didn't make him some evil psycho, honestly.
Looking down, Draco sniffled slightly for effect. "Father, well, he doesn't try to hurt me, but he gets so angry and he just doesn't know his own strength sometimes. He put me up to turning into an Animagus and he'll be so upset that I've failed..." Draco trailed off. Potter couldn't possibly be buying this.
"Oh. I never knew." Potter sounded awkward.
He was buying it! He really did think father - HA! It was amazing Potter didn't walk into walls on a regular basis.
Draco turned back to face Harry. "Just please don't tell anyone! I'll do whatever you want." Harry gave him a sympathetic smile.
"I would never blackmail you, not after what you've just told me! How's this sound: we'll forget this ever happened, and I'll cover for you if something like this ever happens again." Harry hesitated. "But I have to know. Is your hatred of Muggle-borns and bad attitude just a mask you present to the world in order to appease your evil, abusive father?"
Sixteen years of freely announcing one's hate towards Mudbloods is hard to shake off, even under the best of circumstances. Before Draco could stop himself and come up with an appropriate lie for the occasion "No, I really do hate filthy Mudbloods, you complete idiot," slipped from his mouth.
Harry immediately stiffened and some of his friendly demeanor dropped. "Well, that's unfortunate." Gryffindor optimism appeared to take him once more. "But that's probably not your fault. Malfoy, We may not have a great history, but let's try to turn over a new leaf. We might not be able to be friends, and you might have to act like a prat but let's not hate each other, okay? Truce?" Harry extended a hand.
At that moment there was nothing Draco would have liked more than to leave him with a scathing retort, hand still extended. His sense of self- preservation forbade such action, however, and he took hold of his rival's hand, giving it a half-hearted shake before letting go. He resisted the urge to wipe his hands on his robes. Potter beamed at him.
Someone up there really hated him.
***
So, now that I have all that silly plot stuff out of the way (you know the "why would they ever tolerate each other for any extended period of time" plot) we can move slowly but surely towards the boysex! Yay!
A very short but very important chapter.
Next time: Will Draco be able to handle the awesome power of a well-meaning Gryffindor? Who the hell is Mr. Boo-boo? What are Hagrid's mysterious pig- eating animals anyway? - All will become clear!