"The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously."
~Henry Kissinger~
Gil sat behind his desk, the beginning of a migraine rearing its ugly head. He briefly considered re-assigning himself to another case, but ultimately chose to continue working with Sara and Catherine. The ringing of his cellular telephone jarred his already raw nerves.
The news from Jim Brass was positive—finally a potential break in the case. Grissom found the women in the break room having lunch. "Good news," he announced. "They found Melanie Morrison's car." The tilt of his head indicated that they should follow him.
The car had been located in the long- term parking lot at McCarran airport. Prying open the trunk, the CSIs were pleased to find dried blood spread over much of the space. Fingerprints were successfully lifted from the steering wheel, gearshift lever and trunk release latch with the hopes that this evidence would provide them with the identity of the vehicle's last driver.
Catherine noted with curiosity the silence between Grissom and Sara. They did not even look at one another.
As expected, the blood in the trunk was that of Melanie Morrison and the fingerprints those of Anthony McCalmant. By the end of the shift, a warrant had been secured for his arrest.
*^*^*^*^*^*
The awkward silence between Sara and Gil continued over the following weeks. He was careful to assign cases keeping her at a distance. For this, she was grateful. She had realized after that night in the diner that she simply could not tolerate the situation any longer. If Grissom couldn't make the necessary changes, she would have to take matters into her own hands.
She sat in front of her computer at home, working on the seventh draft of her letter of resignation. This one seemed artificially cheerful. Select all, delete. Now she began the eighth draft. "Sincerely, Sara Sidle, CSI III." There, it was done. She printed the document, signed it, folded it and carefully tucked it into an envelope. Tomorrow she would hand deliver it to Director Cavallo.
Leaving the lab would be very difficult. It had been her entire world for more than three years. Yet she was resolute, certain that her decision was the right one. She hoped against hope that by resigning, she was effectively removing the final barrier to having a relationship with Grissom. She would have to find another line of work to remain in the city, but she had prepared herself for that. The dean of the university's Science Department had been very interested in hiring her for his research lab. And if Grissom still shoes not to pursue a relationship with her, she would find employment as a CSI in another city. Regardless, she could not go on working with him every day and not being with him, let alone allowing him to damage her career. She wondering how pathetic it was to be grieving for something she never really had.
*^*^*^*^*^*
Robert Cavallo was on the telephone when Sara reached his office. She stood patiently a polite distance from his desk. He hung up the phone and flashed Sara a curious expression, "CSI Sidle, have a seat. What can I do for you?"
Sara lowered herself into the plush chair across the desk from the lab director. "I'm afraid I've got some bad news," she handed her envelope to him. "For personal reasons, I have to resign my position here."
Cavallo appeared stunned, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
"No, Sir," Sara was confused by his reaction.
"Two in one day?" seeing Sara's puzzlement, he added, "Gil Grissom just resigned an hour ago."
Now it was Sara's turn to be stunned, "He did what?"
"He said he's going to teach at the university. Assistant Dean of the Science Department. Could've knocked me over with a feather."
"Um, could, uh," Sara stammered, slowly regaining her senses. "Could you hold onto this? There's someone I really need to talk to."
"Please do. You two work this out and get back to me."
*^*^*^*^*^*
"Grow old with me! The best is yet to be."
~Robert Browning~
Sara was so flustered as she knocked on Grissom's front door that she didn't even realize her knees were shaking. No sounds could be heard from within the townhouse. She knocked again. Still no reply. Finally accepting that he was not at home, she decided to go to her own apartment to regroup.
As is in a daze, she moved slowly along the sidewalk of her apartment complex. There, sitting on the steps, was the subject of her thoughts. She sat next to him on the stair.
"I've been waiting for you," he said simply.
"Funny thing is, I was at your place looking for you."
"I've made a decision, Sara. I quit my job today."
"I know. Why would you do that?"
"To be with you," Gil spoke as if the answer was obvious.
"Wow."
"How could you know already?"
"Cavallo told me," she admitted. "When I handed him my resignation."
"You resigned?" Grissom felt a rush of concern.
Sara chuckled, "You haven't heard the best part."
"There's a best part?" Gil failed to see how she could find any humor in this situation.
"I was going to do research for the Science Department at UNLV."
Grissom, too, began to chuckle as he saw the irony. "And I was going to be Assistant Dean of the Science Department as UNLV."
Sara nodded, "So if we both followed through, you'd still be my boss..."
"…And we'd be right back where we started."
The realization hit Sara like a blow to the gut, sobering her demeanor. "We are right back where we started," she said sadly.
"No, we're not." There was an air of decisiveness to Grissom's manner.
"What's changed?"
"I have. You said I couldn't take the risk because you're not worth it to me. That's where you're wrong. I'll take any risk for you, Sara. I'm the one who's not worth it. But if you're still willing to try, so am I."
"Is this really happening?" Surely this must be a dream.
Gil smiled broadly, "Yes. I want to get to know you better. I want to know everything there is to know about Sara Sidle. And I want you to know me," he paused. "But don't expect it all at once. This is very difficult for me. It's hard to break forty-seven years of silence. It'll have to be baby steps."
"I can handle baby steps as long as they're steps forward," Sara's cautious smile morphed into her trademarked gap-toothed grin. "What about work?"
"I still don't have an answer for that one."
"How about this: we both stay on at the lab. If it turns out to be too difficult to maintain a professional relationship and a personal relationship, then we figure out which one of us goes to the university," Sara suggested.
Grissom nodded his head silently as the pair stood and continued up the stairs to Sara's apartment. He snaked his arm around her waist. He would regret many things throughout his life, but he would never regret the decision to open his heart to Sara Sidle.
The End.