It's A Kind of Magic
Disclaimer: OK! They're not mine. I confess! The characters featured are all property of Warner and whoever else owns them. Except Thomasina. She is MINE, nobody else's, and you can't have her without my permission! I promise to return all to Warner (and whoever) when I've finished. I'm not open to sueing. Oh, and you can't post these stories without my permission. And if there's anything else I'm supposed to disclaim, I disclaim it! This is kind of following the storyline in a book I read recently, entitled The Colour of Magic or something like that. And by the way, I'm British, so there may be UK spellings/words. Deal with it. Now, read and enjoy.
A/N: Yes, I do know when Doug left and Dave came; just give me a little leeway, guys. Pretty please? And I know this is really out of date; I wrote it in August 2000 and have only just rediscovered the floppy that it's on. This is not the first ER fic I've written, but it's the first one I've posted.
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Hmmm. Now, where on Earth…? Marlin IV scanned the map of the old world for a suitable place. He saw a small area by the as yet unnamed Lake Michigan on the North American continent. Yes, that would do nicely.
He put his finger on the spot on the map and chanted the words he had learned by heart. The feeling of the powerful magic that was entering this point on the map was indescribable. In 2,500 years the spell would reawaken. His only regret was that he wouldn't be there to see its effects……
***************
Chicago; 2,500 years later; Year 2000 AD
Apartment of Dr. Mark Greene
The phone was ringing insistently, and the answering machine hadn't clicked on. Groaning, Mark Greene rolled out of bed to answer the phone. "Hello. Greene."
"You're half an hour late, Mark," a sharp voice informed him.
"And a good morning to you too, Kerry," Mark snapped.
Kerry Weaver sighed. "Mark, Romano's on the rampage." She lowered her voice. "He made me call you. Dialled the number and everything. I insisted that it was better coming from me than from him that you were late."
"Mmmm," Mark agreed. "Look, give me an hour."
"Will do. Bye."
As he hung up, he already had a feeling that it was going to be one of those days.
***************
"I see Malucci's growing side-burns," Elizabeth Corday muttered in Kerry's ear.
"Huh?" Kerry looked up distractedly, not bothering to mask the expression of discomfort that briefly flashed across her face. She had a killer headache and was feeling generally off-colour. Malucci was the least of her worries.
"I said, Malucci's turning into a chimpanzee," Elizabeth said, more loudly this time. Dave Malucci heard this and obligingly began impersonating a chimp.
That got Kerry's attention. "Malucci, stop fooling about. Anyone would think you residents had nothing better to do."
"Sorry, Chief," Malucci apologised. He disappeared into an empty exam room. Suddenly the weird feeling that he'd been sensing throughout the day came out in a burst of energy. He noticed dark hair growing visibly on his arms, and something seemed to be growing from his coccyx. Hesitantly he moved his hand over to that region and felt……no, it couldn't be……it was a tail! He swore violently. Now what was he going to do?
***************
"Where's Malucci?" Mark demanded half an hour later. He wandered up to the front desk and looked at Kerry, who was muttering something at the crashed computer in front of her. Presumably, she was swearing in Swahili, something she tended to do when a computer crashed.
"He was in Exam Three, last I saw of him," Doug Ross offered. He leaned over to Kerry. "Saying a load of gobbledegook at it won't do any good."
"It's not gobbledegook. It's very colourful Swahili," Kerry informed him coldly. She noticed Mark head outside with a basketball.
"Hey, could you teach me some? That way, if I'm rude to Cleo Finch - which isn't difficult - she won't know what I'm talking about or what I'm saying."
He was saved from a cutting response by a huge bang and multicoloured flash. Marlin's spell had been released - into a very busy inner-city Chicago emergency room.
***************
Mark heard the bang. So did Charge Nurse Carol Hathaway, who was outside with him.
"What was that?" Carol asked.
"Don't know."
"Maybe we should investigate." She stood up. "Coming?"
"Yep."
"Doug's probably done something dumb." Carol remarked as they walked through the automatic doors.
"Then why can't I hear Kerry yelling at him?" Mark was puzzled. It wasn't like Kerry to pass up a chance to yell at Doug - unless she was too busy swearing at the computer.
"Where is everyone?" Carol asked. The patients and staff had disappeared, but, to her amazement, there was a menagerie of animals instead.
"What the……?" Mark stammered.
A smallish ginger cat with (oddly) blue eyes was sitting on top of the front desk. There was a delicate, African-style neck around its neck - similar to the one Kerry sometimes wore. The cat was watching a playful Labrador puppy distastefully. Carol noted the abandoned crutch - Kerry's? - and the white lab coat the cat was sitting on. She reached out to stroke the cat, and as she did so, she looked deep into its - her - eyes, and recognition hit her. "Kerry?" she asked. The cat purred loudly.
"What?!" Mark demanded.
"This cat…." Carol began. "It's Kerry."
"You've lost it."
"And that puppy reminds me of Doug."
The cat hissed loudly.
What was that for?" Mark asked.
"I just mentioned the D-word," Carol replied. She turned to the cat. "If you really are Kerry Weaver, hiss when I say……Doug Ross."
The cat hissed as hard as she could.
"That settles it. She's Kerry," Carol declared. "And it looks like our puppy friend here is the guy I'm in love with."
Mark still looked sceptical. "That's stupid. People don't turn into animals just like that." He snapped his fingers to emphasise his point. "In fact, people don't turn into animals, period."
Carol watched the cat jump off the lab coat and trot off sown the corridor. She got a shock when she noticed that the cat was limping and didn't seem to want to put her full weight on her right hind leg. That convinced Carol that the cat was indeed Kerry.
"But what the hell happened?" Mark wondered helplessly.
"Magic."
"That's stupid and you know it. There's no such thing as magic," he disagreed.
"Yes there is. And something happened to the staff here."
"So explain it to me, Detective Hathaway," Mark snapped.
Carol took a deep breath, dreading his reaction. "I think some kind of magical explosion took place, while we were outside talking. Some kind of magical explosion that turned everyone into animals."
"Since when do you believe in magic?" Mark demanded. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It sounded so……unreal.
"Does it matter?" She was starting to lose patience with him. "I just think that something funny's going on, that's all."
***************
'Something funny' was right. She'd heard Carol's comment with her suddenly greatly-enhanced hearing. Walking on all fours felt weird, and she was mildly irritated to discover that, even though she'd somehow shape-shifted, she still limped. She knew who the Labrador puppy reminded her of: Doug Ross. The resemblance was scary.
In an empty exam room, she leapt up onto the bed and decided to check herself. Hmmm, now let's see. She had already established that she was a ginger cat (figured, with her hair colour) and her origins were probably unknown, just like in her normal, human form.
Oh, well. There were worse things to be, she reflected. If Dale Edson from surgery had been affected, he would, no doubt, have turned into the weasel he really was. Idly, she wondered what Cleo Finch had turned into. Mark and Carol hadn't changed at all; they'd been outside when the 'explosion' (if that was what you wanted to call it) had occurred. Presumably, then, Kerry thought, that meant that those two were unscathed, and would be able to help the rest of them resume their normal human forms. At least, one could hope.
She jumped onto an abandoned gurney in the corridor - she'd find out who'd left it there later - and peered into the exam room. She got a tremendous shock when she saw a tall, gangly chimpanzee in dark blue scrubs bounding around inside, especially when she saw its face. It looked eerily like Malucci!
Oh, well. She settled down on the gurney, the instincts of a cat overcoming her, and fell asleep. Maybe it was a bad dream, and when she woke up, things would be back to normal.
***************
"Okay, why is there a bear standing at the front desk?" Mark queried a few minutes later.
"Oh, that'll be Jerry," Carol replied casually through a mouthful of sandwich. "The tie round his neck kinda gives it away."
Mark was amazed at how calm and relaxed the Charge Nurse was. Shouldn't she be worrying even a tiny bit?
"We need to pinpoint the exact spot of the explosion," Carol was telling him. "It could be anywhere in the hospital, but if you ask me, I think it was somewhere in the ER." She waved her hands - and sandwich - around to emphasise her point.
"What makes you say that?"
"Because everyone in the ER has turned into an animal of some sort," Carol reasoned. "And the patients have disappeared into thin air, so this spell has sort of got rid of them."
Mark made a non-committal noise. He was very sceptical of Carol's theories, but it wasn't as though he had any better ideas, so he felt he might as well go along with it.
"Hey, what are you doing?" he asked, confused, as she bent down and started peering at the floor. Now she had lost it.
"Looking for clues."
"Oh." He wasn't sure what to do, so he stood there watching. Carol didn't seem to have noticed his lack of participation, so he ambled over to the sleeping ginger cat on the gurney outside Exam Three. She seemed happy enough, an expression of contentment on her face, so he decided against waking her. She wouldn't be happy if he did!
"I'm just going to go check on Elizabeth!" Mark called to Carol, who had a rabbit sitting on her shoulder.
"Okay! Wait for me, though!"
***************
What the hell was going on? He'd heard Carol's earlier statement about there being something funny happening, and had grinned when Mark had come over all sceptical. But Carol was right. He, Dr. Douglas Ross, had been reduced to a mere Labrador puppy. Now, where was that ginger cat he longed to chase?
Ah! There it was, up on top of a gurney. However, his human instincts dominated, and he decided to let the cat sleep. And if the cat was Weaver, waking her up would most definitely not be a good idea. Oh well. Being in trouble with Weaver was better than being in trouble with Romano, but he chose against risking it. It wasn't worth it.
Doug thought that he might as well get used to being a puppy. After all, he didn't know how long he'd be like that, so he figured he might as well enjoy it while he could.
***************
"Aaaagh!" Carol screamed. Mark looked around to see what could be causing her such distress.
"There!" Carol pointed at the ground, where a snake was slithering around. "It's a rattler!"
Mark swore loudly. He spotted a big cardboard box, and grabbing the snake, he flung it into the box and had shut and taped the flaps down before the snake had time to react. "There."
"Who - who do you think it was?" Carol asked, still shaking,
"It's got to be Romano," Mark replied confidently. "A snake suits him." Privately he wondered if there actually was a way of changing the staff back to their human forms. He hoped there was, even if it did mean Doug Ross and Kerry Weaver would be constantly arguing again. It was a small price to pay.
"So now what do we do?" Carol queried as they left Romano's office. Most of the surgical staff had remained unchanged, although they were somewhat confused as to the whereabouts of Elizabeth, Romano, Edson and Peter Benton.
They were stopped by a weasel crossing their path. Carol quickly bent down and picked it up. "Hey, Shirley!" she called.
The OR nurse looked up from the main desk. "Yeah?"
"Got anywhere I can put a weasel, that's escape-proof?"
"Uh…the locker room?"
"Great!" Carol hurried off, Mark behind her, with the weasel held firmly in both hands. She was convinced that the weasel was the missing Edson, a fourth-year surgical resident, so when they arrived in the mens' locker room, she headed straight for Edson's locker - which, fortunately, was open - and dropped the weasel inside. Mark shut the locker door firmly behind it. "There we go."
"It's where he belongs," Mark replied mildly, smirking. Edson had got what he deserved.
***************
"What's happened, Dr. Greene?" An irate paramedic glared at the attending in front of her.
"I don't know, Doris, I really don't," Mark responded, looking and sounding rather hassled.
"So? What are you saying?" Doris Pickman shot back.
"County is officially closed to trauma," Mark stated. "In fact, the ER is closed until further notice."
"Dr. Weaver never said anything," Doris challenged.
"That's because Dr. Weaver is a ginger cat."
Doris gave him a funny look. "I think you need to see a shrink." She turned and hurried back to Zadro in the ambulance, and a moment later they were driving off.
"So what do you suggest?" Carol asked, coming up behind him and making him jump.
"We hit the library?"
"No. I hit the library. You stay here, on guard," Carol countered sharply. She had her coat on over her uniform. "See you later."
***************
"You're lucky this place is open twenty-four hours a day," a voice behind Carol said. She jumped and turned around. "Jeanie! Oh, thank God. I need your help."
Jeanie Boulet smiled. "Funny. I need your help as well." She helped Carol carry the books on local stories back to the table. "I was supposed to meet Kerry earlier, but she never showed."
Carol stopped dead. "Ah. That. Yes." Oh heck. How on Earth did you tell someone that their best friend has become a ginger cat? "Uh, see, we have a major problem back at the hospital."
"Oh?"
"Some magic spell released into the ER," Carol gabbled. "Mark and I were outside at the time so we weren't affected, but Doug's a Labrador puppy, Romano's a rattler, Edson's a weasel - "
"Always said he was a weasel," Jeanie joked.
" - we've got a rabbit who we think is Lucy, a squirrel who's probably Abby, Elizabeth's a kangaroo, Benton's a tiger, Malik is a sheep," Carol continued, in fits of giggles by now. "We had to put Cleo the carp in water, Malucci is a chimpanzee, Carter is God knows where, and Kerry is a beautiful ginger cat."
"At least she's something decent," Jeanie said, who personally was very fond of cats.
Carol nodded. Finally she was onto something! "Hey, Jeanie!"
"What?"
"Here." She pointed to the article. "Marlin Haraldson Morton IV, son of Marlin Haraldson Morton III, conjured a great spell in the year 500BC, so great that none could break it, nor lessen its inevitable effects. It is due to be released in the year 2000 AD, but due to the disappearance of the Olde Magicke, prevention is an impossibility. The number of sceptics grows greater each day, and this makes resurrection of the Olde Magicke harder and harder. Only true believers on the Olde Magicke can make any difference to the spells cast by the Wizards of the Old World." Carol laid the book on the table.
"Does it tell you how to reverse the effects of the spell after it's been released?" Jeanie inquired, leaning closer.
"Uh……no." Carol sounded very disappointed. She scanned the end of the article, and her face brightened. "But it does give a reference!"
"Which is?" Jeanie asked excitedly.
"Out of print in 1926," Carol replied dully.
"Oh." Jeanie sat back in her chair for a moment, and then an idea hit her. "There's a book shop down my street, and I know the girl who runs it. She specialises in out-of-print and magic books. We could pay her a visit."
"At nine-thirty at night?"
"She'll be there. And there's a strong chance that she'll have it."
***************
"I'm not sure this is a good idea," Carol said as Thomasina let them in. They were surrounded by astrological charts, moon charts, star maps, crystals, scarves, dream-catchers, candles, and many other things.
"Trust me," Jeanie ordered as Thomasina returned with their coffees.
"Do sit down," Thomasina said, indicating the sofa and chairs. "I understand you are here because of the Olde Magicke?"
"Yes," Jeanie replied. "Or, more accurately, to reverse the effects of the spell Marlin Haraldson Morton IV cast 2,500 years ago."
Thomasina nodded gravely. "I see." She indicated a pile of old books. "I am a descendant of those who had the Olde Magicke in their blood, so I felt it only natural to learn all I could about my roots. You see, once you have the Olde Magicke in your blood, it is there for eternity, and you cannot rid yourself of it, no matter how hard you try." She paused, and sipped her coffee. "I have, on several occasions, needed to conjure up the Olde Magicke, to reverse the effects of other such spells as Marlin IV's."
"Did you know about this spell?" Carol asked bluntly. Jeanie glared at her.
"Yes, I did," Thomasina answered. She shook her head sadly. "But there was nothing I could do to stop it happening."
"Can you reverse the effects?" Jeanie asked gently.
"Yes, I think I can. I can't be sure, though. It all depends on how strong the spell was, and how strong my Olde Magicke is."
"What about permanent effects?" Carol asked.
"They won't remember a thing," Thomasina told her confidently. Part of the reversal spell is memory-wipe." She stood up. "Come through to the shop."
***************
Mark was having a great time with the puppy, and he could tell that the puppy was enjoying their ball game. The snake hadn't caused any problems - rather unusual for Romano, he observed - and Kerry was quite content to be curled up on the gurney. The other animals were around them, but Mark was only focused on playing with the puppy. He wondered how Carol was getting on. Glancing at his watch, he noticed that it was 11:30pm.
"Mark!"
He looked up as Carol burst through the doors with Jeanie and a tall, willowy, brown-haired woman who wore jeans and a loose, flowing shirt.
"This is Thomasina," Carol introduced her, and explained everything she had learned about the Olde Magicke, and how Thomasina proposed to help them.
"I need something belonging to each of the persons affected," Thomasina requested. "It doesn't matter where the actual person is, so long as I have something of theirs."
Carol, Jeanie and Mark set about getting the items: Jerry's tie, Elizabeth's Danielle Steel novel, Doug's framed photo of Carol, one of Romano's patterned surgical caps, Kerry's crutch, Edson's packet of chocolate biscuits, and so on. Thomasina then placed them on the floor in a circle around a big, old, handwritten book. She sat down on the floor with the book in front of her. "Carol, Jeanie, come here. Mark, go out to the ambulance bay," she instructed.
"Why?" he protested.
"You're a sceptic. The Olde Magicke doesn't work with sceptics present," Thomasina informed him, and Mark made his way out, grumbling the whole time.
"Carol, Jeanie, we have to make a circle inside this one, and join hands. You two close your eyes," Thomasina instructed. Obediently the nurse and the PA did as they were told. Thomasina then chanted the words on the pages in front of her, expertly using her toes to turn the pages. She could feel the power of the Olde Magicke waning, and Marlin's spell weakening. Because the Olde Magicke in her blood was weak, she could feel herself weakening, becoming tired; but still she kept on.
Fifteen minutes later, a huge explosion filled the emergency room. Thomasina read the last words aloud, then released her hold on Jeanie and Carol's hands. "It's over. I must go now." She picked up the book and closed it. "See you around." With that, she left.
**************
Doug sat up on the sofa in the lounge. He felt stiff. "God, how long have I been asleep?" he wondered aloud. He looked at his watch. "Jesus! I've slept though most of my shift and I'm due on again in an hour and a half! Kerry's gonna kill me!"
"No I'm not," Kerry countered gently from the doorway. She was leaning heavily on her crutch, and had a look of pain in her eyes which she didn't bother to hide.
"Why not? You never pass up an opportunity to have a go at me!" Doug was genuinely puzzled.
Kerry sat down on the table. "You wouldn't believe me." She herself believed in magic, from her time in Africa, and Jeanie knew it, so she had told Kerry the full story. Doug, however, she knew from medical school, was even more sceptical than Mark Greene and Dana Scully from The X-Files put together.
Doug cocked his head and gave her one of his easy grins. "Try me."
"Okay." Kerry took a deep breath. "An ancient magic spell was released yesterday in the ER, set there over two millennia ago. We were, most of the ER staff, changed into animals that reflect aspects of our personalities. Romano, Edson, Elizabeth and Benton were also affected. Mark and Carol didn't change; they were outside at the time."
"What were Romano and Edson?" Doug asked, completely serious.
"Edson turned into the total weasel he is, and Romano was a rattler."
"Ah, there is justice in the world!" Doug joked.
"Unfortunately it's not permanent," Kerry continued. "You were a Labrador puppy, and apparently very cute."
"I always have been," Doug remarked. Kerry raised her eyebrows at him. "What were you?" he asked curiously.
"Ginger cat," she replied.
"Breed?"
"Don't know. Jeanie's not a cat expert," Kerry told him. She grinned suddenly. "Carol said she had to put a certain Cleo Finch in water - as a carp."
"Now that is justice!" Doug cried with a cheer.
Carol and Jeanie ambled in at that point, and Carol asked him what he thought.
"I don't know what to believe," he admitted.
"Then meet Thomasina," Jeanie advised, handing him a card.
"The Olde Magicke is in her blood," Kerry said softly. "And it may be in yours." She stood and left.
"It's true," Jeanie added gently. "It's true."
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The End