Title: Day Before Tomorrow
Author: Entropy
Summary: Sequel to Waiting for Tomorrow. Implied GS
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Ask my student loan people.
Rating: PG
A/N: Thanks to A for reading this through, and thanks for all the reviews on Waiting for Tomorrow. They were all very appreciated =D Enjoy.
All I can remember is staring at the table in front of me. Its smooth, glossy surface mirrored nothing more than a tired, old CSI who had just revealed more to a stranger in five minutes than he had ever shared with anyone. I no longer saw my reflection - only the anger and frustration of the past three years.
"Griss? What the hell happened in here?"
I could have told Catherine everything; I just transfixed her with a blank stare. I had gotten really good at those, and she wasn't too happy it with it. Then again, when was she ever happy about anything concerning me?
"Sara just ran out of the observation room, and nearly knocked Warrick over in the process. What happened?" The hands on her hips meant that I couldn't ignore her question like the last one. Damn.
I just sit there in shock, maybe denial. Sara really couldn't have heard me, could she? It's all a trick on my mind; that's it. I've been awake what seems like forever, so it had to have been a dream. I'm still probably dreaming now, asleep in my bed far away from the lab. I'd even be in my best social environment: alone. I must look comical as I pinch my arm, and Catherine has the look on her face reserves for when she thinks I've lost it. Feeling the pain in my flesh, I have come to one official decision. I have lost it, and I deserved that look.
It's one thing to tell someone you have feelings for her; and it's a completely different situation when you tell another person without her knowledge. Then there was what I did: tell my feelings to a complete stranger, say I couldn't act on them after going back and forth with her for, not just the past three years, but since I met her, and all while doing it in front of her. I still don't know what to do about any of it. It's amazing that she's actually stayed around that long.
Catherine's tapping her foot and expecting me to do something. I quickly excuse myself from the room and head towards the parking lot. There's no telling what I'm going to do, but I've found some courage and energy to admit to what I had said.
When I finally get to the lot, I still see Sara's Tahoe parked. Her head is grasped between her hands, resting on the steering wheel. I've lost whatever bravery I've gained, but I refuse to leave until I know she makes it home all right. Probably the only thing I succeeded in doing correctly tonight.
She still hasn't noticed me; there's no particular reason she would. I'm still standing at the doors to the lab in sheer terror. It's as if I'm fourteen years old again and a girl just told me she has a crush on me. It's apparent I still haven't matured any in that respect.
I decide to mimic her for the time being and sit in my vehicle. I'm still confused as to why Sara would still be interested in me. If I were completely honest, I've been driving her away on purpose. I didn't want to deal with the inevitable confrontation. I didn't want to have to worry about working everything out; I just hoped it would go away all on its own. Even with my deteriorating hearing, I was the same way. In my world, one day, my hearing would have been completely restored, and I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. Each day, I would keep hoping, until I eventually came to my senses. I broke down that barrier that I had built; there was no hoping that my hearing loss would simply go away on its own. I had to take action, but of course, the exact opposite happened with Sara.
She had to confront me that day - the exact day I was going into surgery. What were the statistical chances of that? Fate really does have it out for me, and I wasn't prepared in the least for what she was going to say. "Let's see what happens." She was trying to kill me with that line, I'm sure. It took me forever just to fix my hearing, which I had known was hereditary. What was I supposed to do?
"I don't know what to do about this," was probably not my greatest line ever. It fit very well with my, "I couldn't do it," from an hour ago. She finally starts her car, and I can't help but feel like a stalker.
Fatigue is finally setting in, and I'm trying not to draw Sara's attention. If I swerve into oncoming traffic, I'm pretty sure she'd notice. Somehow, I manage not to kill myself when she arrives at a small little bar. For now, I decide just to wait in the parking lot. I still have time to go home before she ever sees me. I contemplate that thought much more than I should.
I know she's probably getting drunk or dancing with young men. That doesn't bother me; okay, it does. I have no right, but I've never been completely sensible when it comes to Sara's significant others. If I had been in her position, I don't know how I would have handled this case. Debbie was Sara's mirror image and her own doppelgänger. Debbie had her outgoing personality and her affinity for male companions, whereas Sara managed to keep things to herself and only had Hank and her feelings for me. They were twins with polar opposite personalities. It was fascinating and disturbing at the same time.
After all that was said in the interrogation room, it finally gets through to me that in fifty years, I haven't lived. I haven't completely shared myself with one person, but by some miracle, I'm still alive. I decide to go in to the bar; I've managed to wait in the car for over an hour without running away. It's a new record for me. My legs are stiff and weak when I head to the door.
She's over by the bar looking a hell of a lot better than I am, even if she is pretty drunk at this point. "Let me call you a cab," I manage. I'm pretty sure neither of us can drive right now.
She looks like she's going to kill me, but I can't really blame her. But a small, "okay," passes from her lips, and I call for a taxi while taking her outside. Fresh air looks like it will do her well. We just stand in silence; maybe life would be easier if this is what I heard all the time.
The cab arrives, and we both get in. Trying to remember her exact address, I tell him to drop Sara off first. I glance at her to see her reaction to the turn of events, but her head turns out to face the window. I'm still confused by the situation; it all happened so quickly.
She stayed facing the city lights the entire ride, and when we arrived at her house, I help her to her door. I probably could have stayed on her couch and talked with her in the morning, but I decide to head home. She's already forgiven me enough as it is. I can't put myself out there too much; otherwise I won't be able to pull myself back in. I know we will eventually have a confrontation; there's no getting around it now, but it won't be with me staying at her place. I leave, knowing I will have to see what tomorrow brings.
Author: Entropy
Summary: Sequel to Waiting for Tomorrow. Implied GS
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Ask my student loan people.
Rating: PG
A/N: Thanks to A for reading this through, and thanks for all the reviews on Waiting for Tomorrow. They were all very appreciated =D Enjoy.
All I can remember is staring at the table in front of me. Its smooth, glossy surface mirrored nothing more than a tired, old CSI who had just revealed more to a stranger in five minutes than he had ever shared with anyone. I no longer saw my reflection - only the anger and frustration of the past three years.
"Griss? What the hell happened in here?"
I could have told Catherine everything; I just transfixed her with a blank stare. I had gotten really good at those, and she wasn't too happy it with it. Then again, when was she ever happy about anything concerning me?
"Sara just ran out of the observation room, and nearly knocked Warrick over in the process. What happened?" The hands on her hips meant that I couldn't ignore her question like the last one. Damn.
I just sit there in shock, maybe denial. Sara really couldn't have heard me, could she? It's all a trick on my mind; that's it. I've been awake what seems like forever, so it had to have been a dream. I'm still probably dreaming now, asleep in my bed far away from the lab. I'd even be in my best social environment: alone. I must look comical as I pinch my arm, and Catherine has the look on her face reserves for when she thinks I've lost it. Feeling the pain in my flesh, I have come to one official decision. I have lost it, and I deserved that look.
It's one thing to tell someone you have feelings for her; and it's a completely different situation when you tell another person without her knowledge. Then there was what I did: tell my feelings to a complete stranger, say I couldn't act on them after going back and forth with her for, not just the past three years, but since I met her, and all while doing it in front of her. I still don't know what to do about any of it. It's amazing that she's actually stayed around that long.
Catherine's tapping her foot and expecting me to do something. I quickly excuse myself from the room and head towards the parking lot. There's no telling what I'm going to do, but I've found some courage and energy to admit to what I had said.
When I finally get to the lot, I still see Sara's Tahoe parked. Her head is grasped between her hands, resting on the steering wheel. I've lost whatever bravery I've gained, but I refuse to leave until I know she makes it home all right. Probably the only thing I succeeded in doing correctly tonight.
She still hasn't noticed me; there's no particular reason she would. I'm still standing at the doors to the lab in sheer terror. It's as if I'm fourteen years old again and a girl just told me she has a crush on me. It's apparent I still haven't matured any in that respect.
I decide to mimic her for the time being and sit in my vehicle. I'm still confused as to why Sara would still be interested in me. If I were completely honest, I've been driving her away on purpose. I didn't want to deal with the inevitable confrontation. I didn't want to have to worry about working everything out; I just hoped it would go away all on its own. Even with my deteriorating hearing, I was the same way. In my world, one day, my hearing would have been completely restored, and I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. Each day, I would keep hoping, until I eventually came to my senses. I broke down that barrier that I had built; there was no hoping that my hearing loss would simply go away on its own. I had to take action, but of course, the exact opposite happened with Sara.
She had to confront me that day - the exact day I was going into surgery. What were the statistical chances of that? Fate really does have it out for me, and I wasn't prepared in the least for what she was going to say. "Let's see what happens." She was trying to kill me with that line, I'm sure. It took me forever just to fix my hearing, which I had known was hereditary. What was I supposed to do?
"I don't know what to do about this," was probably not my greatest line ever. It fit very well with my, "I couldn't do it," from an hour ago. She finally starts her car, and I can't help but feel like a stalker.
Fatigue is finally setting in, and I'm trying not to draw Sara's attention. If I swerve into oncoming traffic, I'm pretty sure she'd notice. Somehow, I manage not to kill myself when she arrives at a small little bar. For now, I decide just to wait in the parking lot. I still have time to go home before she ever sees me. I contemplate that thought much more than I should.
I know she's probably getting drunk or dancing with young men. That doesn't bother me; okay, it does. I have no right, but I've never been completely sensible when it comes to Sara's significant others. If I had been in her position, I don't know how I would have handled this case. Debbie was Sara's mirror image and her own doppelgänger. Debbie had her outgoing personality and her affinity for male companions, whereas Sara managed to keep things to herself and only had Hank and her feelings for me. They were twins with polar opposite personalities. It was fascinating and disturbing at the same time.
After all that was said in the interrogation room, it finally gets through to me that in fifty years, I haven't lived. I haven't completely shared myself with one person, but by some miracle, I'm still alive. I decide to go in to the bar; I've managed to wait in the car for over an hour without running away. It's a new record for me. My legs are stiff and weak when I head to the door.
She's over by the bar looking a hell of a lot better than I am, even if she is pretty drunk at this point. "Let me call you a cab," I manage. I'm pretty sure neither of us can drive right now.
She looks like she's going to kill me, but I can't really blame her. But a small, "okay," passes from her lips, and I call for a taxi while taking her outside. Fresh air looks like it will do her well. We just stand in silence; maybe life would be easier if this is what I heard all the time.
The cab arrives, and we both get in. Trying to remember her exact address, I tell him to drop Sara off first. I glance at her to see her reaction to the turn of events, but her head turns out to face the window. I'm still confused by the situation; it all happened so quickly.
She stayed facing the city lights the entire ride, and when we arrived at her house, I help her to her door. I probably could have stayed on her couch and talked with her in the morning, but I decide to head home. She's already forgiven me enough as it is. I can't put myself out there too much; otherwise I won't be able to pull myself back in. I know we will eventually have a confrontation; there's no getting around it now, but it won't be with me staying at her place. I leave, knowing I will have to see what tomorrow brings.