Author's Note: I'm so sorry! I said I would have this chapter out soon, but then again I was planning on being more productive. I've had so many technical difficulties writing this that I won't into detail in, so if there is something "strange" about my writing, please tell me! (However, I did pay the price of freezing myself while typing. Our heater's down and it's forty degrees out!) I will make up for it… both in writing and in drawings! I am working on fan art to go along with this story and I plan on putting them up on my site as soon as I have something worth being viewed. That bring up the question: is anyone interesting in seeing fan art? If you are, I will warn you that I haven't drawn anime in ages, but I am a perfectionist, so… at least you can expect me to have toiled over my drawings.
And in this chapter, the "angst" is toned down a considerable amount. It's quite light-hearted to tell you the truth!
Disclaimer: Borrowing and stealing are not quite the same, right? Hey, at least I'm acknowledging that neither Rurouni Kenshin nor Mulan belong to me!
For HonorChapter 3: If Only For A Little While
By CrismHeart
November 16, 2003
After I overcame my initial shock of hearing the girl asking me that question, realization struck. How could I have failed my quest before I had even reached my destination? I cursed at myself inwardly for my idiocy. I did not know whether it was better to continue denying the fact that I am a girl, or to actually confess the truth to her.
The silence was unbearable and I wanted to say something- anything as long as it would break it. Unfortunately, the first retort that comes to a person's mind is not always what should be said aloud. I could not stop myself from declaring, "I am not a girl, nor have I ever been one!" Even my to my own ears, my words sounded absurd.
I was both angry with myself and nervous as to whether the girl would report to someone about me and clenched the folds of my hakama still tighter. However, I tried my best not to allow my emotions surface. I could only hope that I was successful in retaining a calm demeanor.
The girl furrowed her brow as if she were contemplating my answer, "Honto ni?"
It was quite evident that she did not believe me, but was playing along. Why she did not accuse me outright for my dishonesty, I did not know. I lowered my head so that I would not have to face what was bound to happen. I waited for her reaction in that position. I almost thought that I was only living in a nightmare and had finally woken up with the stillness in the room.
Just then, I heard a muffled sound escape the girl's lips. Because it was taking her so long to respond, I was curious as to what she was doing. Besides if the worst should come, I should be able to face it. When had I ever become such a coward? My parents may be distraught that their daughter had left home, but surely, they would be even more displeased to know that I could not even put their respectable teachings into use in real life.
I lifted my face and my eyes caught the twinkle of amusement in her green eyes.
To my surprise, however, the girl merely tried to suppress a giggle. "What is your name?" she questioned.
"I- I..." realizing that it was inevitable that I had to answer, I sighed, "Kaoru."
The girl noticed my obvious discomfiture and smiled in an effort to make me more at ease, "Don't worry, I wasn't planning on telling anyone about you. My name is Sayo. Perhaps I could help you even."
Words could not describe the wave of relief I felt then. I returned her smile with a genuine one. Just then, a grumbling noise could be heard coming from my stomach. I felt my cheeks grow warmer. Sayo placed a hand over her mouth, but it was clear that she was laughing. It was not an unwelcome act, however, for I myself have not been able to laugh feely for such an extended period of time.
"You must be hungry!" she exclaimed.
Sayo headed into the kitchen and came back minutes later with a pair of chopsticks and a bowl of rice with slices of a yellow radish pickle neatly arranged on the side.
"I know it's not much, but this is all that I could find." Sayo said apologetically.
I tried to reassure her, "I don't mind. I'm only glad that you didn't ask me to cook." I grinned sheepishly, knowing that my own culinary skills were not the finest. Of course, I never would have revealed that detail to anyone else…
Sayo gave me a bewildered look before smiling.
Really though, I was just thankful to have found a new friend in this strange new place. Even if it would only be for a little while, I felt secure in the comfortable atmosphere that filled the air when in the presence of a friend. Although she seemed to be interested as to how I had come to be in such a situation, she never pried into my past and for this I was grateful. True, I did consider her a friend, yet I knew I would not be ready to reveal the truth until after I had completed my self-appointed mission.
I asked Sayo to eat with me, but she shook her head. "Iie, I've already eaten, though I will stay with you while you finish your meal."
I must have devoured my food hastily for I heard the sounds of the chopsticks scraping the bottom of the bowl in mere seconds. I saw that Sayo was sitting across from me
"Ano… first of all, we need to find an alternate name for you. You could not possibly keep your name. You could be caught too easily since your name can be traced back to your family."
"Eh?" Sayo was right, I would need a new name. I propped one arm against the side of my head as I often did when I was thinking.
Sayo had suggested quite a few names so far, but none of them were appropriate for me. When she suggested the name "Naoko," I laughed. What I was doing was could not be called honesty. "Then how about, Hisoka?" she asked.
I thought for a while… "Hisoka, secretive? Iie, that would give too much away."
"Masato? Yasahiro?"
I thought over Sayo's choices. They did have a nice quality to them, but I wanted a name that would mean something to me… "Michiru," I said at last,
"the ocean, I've always wanted to be like the waters…"
Sayo gave me a mysterious smile, "Hai, that name suits you best."
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Sayo and I discussed other issues concerning my disguise.
"Kaoru-chan, you are too lady-like to be thought of as a boy…"
"Me?" I laughed, "I am too much of a tomboy to be considered a lady!"
Sayo laughed as well, "Maybe, but you still have lived your whole life as one…"
Our conversation was interrupted when I head someone clearing his throat behind me. I turned around to see who it was.
"Onii-san!" Sayo cried. She stood up and made her way towards the person.
I saw that the man Sayo had identified as her brother did resemble her in appearance. His hair and eye color were similar to hers though they were a slightly darker hue. A smile tugged at his lips. I could tell that the siblings cared for each other. Sayo's brother did not seem like someone who showed his emotions often. It was pleasing, being able to see a family life filled with joy, but I felt as if I were intruding on it. What right did I have to place my burdens in the hands of others, to be a part of their happiness? I rose to my feet, wanting to slip away.
"Matte!" I halted my movements. Apparently, both Sayo and her brother saw that I was edging towards the doorway. "Where do you think you are going?" Sayo queried.
"Domo arigatou, Sayo-chan. You have done nothing but good for me, but I regret to tell you that I must go."
"Kaoru-chan… you are my friend, and pure of heart. I don't want you to leave, but I know you are too determined and stubborn so I won't try to change your mind. If you must do this, then go. I can only tell you to be careful. We have not known each other long, but you have shown me much about your nature. I wish you all the good fortune on your journey. I am sure that we will meet again in times of peace. Then, we can exchange tales of adventure. Don't look so sad, you'll see, everything will be right in time…" Sayo then looked to her brother, "Muto and I have been talking over a matter and if you would, would you accept our aid? My brother has been taking care of the horses since our parents passed away and we do have a horse to accompany you. It will be faster and safer."
As much as I hated to impose myself on them, I knew that they were right. At the rate I had been traveling by foot, it would have taken me weeks to get to Kyoto and I knew that the army would have to be assembled within the week.
Sayo and Muto led me to the stable. I instantly knew which of the grand creatures I hoped to be given. It was the most beautiful stallion I had ever seen, built for both strength and speed. Its potential was evident in its powerfully built legs. Standing at fifteen hands high, the horse was as black as the night sky with an unusual shape on its forehead, a white star. "His name is Hoshi." Muto informed me.
"Can I… I mean, is he…?" I stuttered. I was still awestruck by the magnificent beast before me.
"If you want." Who knew that three simple words could be so wonderful?
Muto opened the gate and put the saddle on the horse for me. Because his height put him at an advantage, he lifted me up onto the horse. I swung a leg over the saddle and held my arms around the horses' neck until I regained my balance. Finally, I steadied myself so that I sat upright on the horses' back. Although I am a girl, I had ridden before with Misao. Her grandfather had taught us how to. Taking hold of the reins in one hand, I used my free one to give a final wave to Sayo and Muto.
"We will meet again! And I will bring your horse back to you!"
With a set face, I no longer thought of the dangers that would lie ahead. I rode into the horizon, allowing the cool night air wash over me. It was much simpler to free myself of my thoughts and focus on a single purpose.
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I had been riding for four days and nights, stopping only for sufficient food and rest.
I came to the hilltop that Sayo had told me to go to. Sure enough, it did overlook an encampment filled with activity. There were hundreds of men, but at the moment I was blind to all the activity around me. The sharp glare created by the setting sun obscured my vision so that I could not make out their faces. At that moment, the light from the sun caught something red. It was that same unmistakable shade that could not have belonged to any other. The sun always had managed to hit his flame-colored hair at an angle so that golden lights were dancing on it without end; I now knew that they still did…
I was so astonished that I did not have time to stifle the gasp that came out, "Shinta…"
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Author's Note: Look! *gasps* It is him! (…or is it?) After all, this wouldn't be much of a story if he never arrived! If there are any other characters that must be in this story, please tell me and I'll see what I can do!
For those who wanted to know, I used "Sayo" and "Muto" because they are the Japanese names of "Magdaria" and "Shougo Amakusa" in the series and the names that were mentioned mean: Naoko- honesty, Hisoka- secretive, Masato- justice, Yasahiro- peaceful, calm, wise (yes, perfect for Kaoru), and Michiru- ocean.
By the way, I know this sounds random, but could anyone help me with making my website? I'm really bad with all technology, especially computers and I don't know where to start… so if you happen to be a genius at creating web pages, (or well, even if you aren't I'm sure you know a lot more than I do), please e-mail me!
e-mail: crismheart@yahoo.com
AIM: CrismHeart
JML: Thanks anyway! I've always found it interesting how quickly you review after I update. Even I can't find my own story! I do want to point out that I doubt Kaoru would look much like a boy if her hair were virtually the same (in a pony-tail) only slightly shorter. Also, I know that the Chinese wore their hair up in buns, but many Japanese soldiers did as well. I have checked out pictures before. The Japanese did borrow a lot of Chinese culture after all.
Califpinay3001: Thanks again! I'm glad you're still reading!
Mercses: I'm sorry, I ruined the "mystery guy" for you. Hehe… "hopeless romantics who cling on to seemingly foolish love notions"- way to decribe us, not just me. I have to say, it's strange that Amber Ann thinks you are more of one than I am. And don't you dare steal my tissues!
Zeh Wulf: Yay! *takes a deep breath* You have no idea how honored I am to see that you reviewed! I'm sure you already know how you are one of my favorite authors on this site! Actually, I found this extremely interesting since I don't recall forcing you to review… that and I think I reviewed "In These Final Hours" some time close to the time I received yours. Thank you so much! You're possibly the only person who has ever tried to analyze or give my story constructive criticism and long reviews are always welcome! See, it's very difficult for me to write. I never knew if I should make it a first person narration or third, but now that I've started, I'm kind of stuck with it. On one hand, it's more personal, but on the other, I can't elaborate on details because it's from one perspective. I apologize that it was hard to read. I was thinking of writing one-shots (because of my internal monologues), but I like writing longer stories better. I'm aware that I can't continue writing the same way as I had when Kaoru begins to communicate with other characters. Anyways, I'm pleased that you would be interested in my fic! Of course, I can't reveal what's going to happen because then it won't be enjoyable to read, right? I'm always up for improving, when I'm not so weighed down with stress…
Rekka's Angel: Thank you! Your words were very inspiring! And I know that most people leave nice reviews, but I'd just like to know that they're true…
Namiko-Daughter of Sekhmet: Um… how soon is soon? No, but seriously, I need someone to define that word for me, especially when it's used in the same phrase as the word "update."
Naiya-chan: Thanks, sometimes I am down on my work. I can't help it! Did you notice that I read your poem? *jumps up and down in excitement* I do write poetry, though I can't say that it's any good… I'm still amazed that you could tell! Actually, I don't even remember if I wrote stories first or poetry…
Koneko Battousai: I know I really took my time in getting Kenshin in this story… and for that I apologize profusely! I was having problems with getting him to show up, but as we can all see, he's finally here! Kenshin and Kaoru are the best couple out there! And, that must be amazing being able to write romance. It's such a challenge for me!
Kitsune KeNsHiN: ^_^ Thank you, I can always count on you to answer my questions and you always have great ideas! (No one else really pays attention to my inquiries…) I didn't think it was possible for your reviews to get any sweeter! And, the girl wasn't Misao actually, but I did say who she was in this chapter! Hehe… and Kenshin just had to show up!
chibi-tanuki: Thank you so much! Did I update fast enough? Okay, I guess I didn't, but I'm trying!
ashcandy: *smiles* Well, I agree with you on how unlikely it is for Kaoru to pass as a guy, but hey, lots of anime guys resemble girls, right? And, I didn't mean Kenshin… why does everyone say that?! *looks at screen in shock* Kenshin does not look like a girl!
koishii-glory: Thanks and you're welcome! Your story is fun to read! I never thought that people would talk about my fic, hehe… It's usually the crème de la crème who are discussed.
Miroku's-Best-Lover: Miroku-related things? Do I really want to know? lol, anyway thanks, this chapter wasn't very "poetic" though! (and haven't I told you time and time again that you don't have to read anything that I write?) I take it you didn't have fun in English? I thought the books we read in Glatt's class are supposed to be classics, aren't they? And when are we starting this manga?