Author's Note: I have been so guilt-ridden lately! Argh! I apologize incessantly to you for taking such a long time to update… it was combination of writer's block, lack of time, and a lot of emotional stress, but I hope you will stay with my fic! You know, one day I want to be able to have an author's note that doesn't include a "please forgive me for not having updated!" I suppose, you can read about my problems with this chapter afterwards if you need excuses.
So, without further ado, I present, my long-awaited chapter! (Ehehe, be warned that it may not be that great, I tried! No inspiration and not very being very dexterous does that to you.) It begins with Kenshin's point of view again!
Disclaimer: Not much has changed since the last time, I still don't own Rurouni Kenshin or Mulan… My friend claims she can't find the DVD being sold anywhere! *cries*
For HonorChapter 5: The Value of Acceptance
By CrismHeart
January 2, 2004
I stopped abruptly when I heard someone calling me. With narrowed eyes, I quickly scanned the area around me for any sign of danger. I sighed as I noted that there was nothing out of the ordinary. The only things I did spot were the spiky tips of Sano's hair. Figuring that Sano wanted me to go towards him, I did. When I neared him, he reached out and clasped my shoulder in a show of companionship.
"Kenshin, have you met Michiru yet? He's new, but he's cool."
It was then when I was first aware of the presence of another. The scene was almost comical. My eyes followed Sano's right arm and discovered that it was attached to some poor person who was desperately attempting to hide behind him. This must be Michiru, I thought. I strode behind Sano so that I would have a better view of exactly who this Michiru was. Surprise could not have accurately described the bewilderment I felt. I should have expected something as bizarre as this to occur- it was the same boy that I had lost my temper with earlier.
I knew that it would be best for us to put our differences behind us. I felt ashamed of myself for having yelled at the boy. He had not been at fault, I had… When was it not my fault?
"I… apologize for before." I managed to say before Sano cut in.
"Kenshin, you know him?"
I was at a loss for words. I did not want Sano to know that I had been acting so unwisely, even if he was the only one who had any knowledge of how I became a hitokiri. He had never known me before I… changed.
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So, Kenshin and Shinta were one and the same? No, I corrected myself, not Shinta, the Hitokiri Battousai, a man to be feared, but all the while I told myself that, I could not help but feel some emotion stirring within me for him.
I caught a glimpse of red moving towards us and braced myself for who I knew I would have to face within seconds. As I predicted, I found myself to be the subject of scrutiny of those amber eyes. I tried to turn away and avoid looking at them, but they hypnotized me as always. Besides, it was difficult to escape when Sano had his arm on my shoulder. There was no way for me to run away. I sighed, how long could I really do this without accidentally informing him of my true identity?
"I… apologize for before." Kenshin said with a small bow.
I was amazed that he would openly tell me that he was sorry.
"Hey, Kenshin, you know him?" Sano glanced at us skeptically.
Noticing that Kenshin appeared to be slightly embarrassed about out previous encounter, I hastily blurted out, "It's nice to meet you, Kenshin."
I could visibly see the expression on his face change to a somewhat more relieved one as Sano's interest died down. At the same time however, he raised an eyebrow and gave me a quizzical look, as if baffled that I would help him.
"And you, Michiru. You must have made quite an impression on Sano for him to be introducing you to me…"
The noisy cheers of the men for the venerated Saitou Hajime grew louder. It was obvious from the loud thud that the stone-faced captain had defeated yet another soldier.
"Michiru, you ever tried sword fighting before?" Sano asked curiously.
"Ano… I studied my father's technique when I was younger." I could not seem to keep a faint blush from rising. I had no desire to talk about what training I had or had not received, especially when I was in the presence of some of the most prized fighters in all of Japan.
"You any good?"
"I… I'm not sure. I've never faced an opponent before…" My words must have had some effect on the silent redhead beside him. Although he did not make any movement to indicate that he was paying attention to the conversation, his shoulders tensed up.
"Well, you have to fight Saitou like the rest of the others… Maybe it's better to do so now, rather than later. If he weren't such a heartless bastard, I would say that he's taking it pretty easy on them." Sano gestured at the fallen soldier who was less than twenty feet from them. He had multiple bruises and cuts, but did not appear to have any life-threatening injuries.
The more I contemplated over what Sano had just informed me of in regard to Saitou's character, the more I believed that Saitou had to have a heart beneath all the coldness he displayed as Captain. When he had been testing the men's skills, he had never really shown his real strength. He had been holding back, and never had he actually used the renowned Gatotsu. Also, he had a katana, and it would surely do more than produce a few scratches on a person's skin. Saitou Hajime was strict, but not cruel.
"I… okay." I agreed. I hoped I sounded more resolved than I felt.
Sano immediately pushed me into the gathering and gave me a wink, "Eh, Saitou, ready for another challenge?"
I sputtered with indignation, "Sano…" I could not believe he had done that, the traitor! I- just because I had told him I would fight, it did not mean I was prepared.
Saitou looked at Sano with displeasure before turning to me. I hurriedly bowed and then gazed up to only to see him do the same.
"Do you have a suitable weapon?" There was no doubt in my mind that Saitou Hajime was efficient as he was dangerous.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Kenshin~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Have more faith in him… just because he's scrawny, you automatically underestimate him. You know, I wasn't convinced of your skill when I first met you, but you proved me otherwise." Sano adopted an almost enlightened look that did not quite become him.
"Sano…" I glared at him, and to my contentment, he stopped his ramblings.
It was true though, that I was concerned about this Michiru. I was not sure why for it was not as if I had ever met him before. He was not even a friend of mine. So, why then, had he helped me out of that confrontation with Sano? Have I really become so much of a failure at hiding my own emotions from others that he could sense them? I shook my head. No, I was allowing someone to see too much of myself. It could only lead to misfortune.
Michiru was just like all the other novices; he was not one who had ever had to look death in the eye. For him, for them, they would not have to be plagued by the unceasing nightmare that blood had spilled by their own hands, for a little while longer, but soon everyone would have to be exposed to it. It was what came of war, no matter how many people have tried to downplay the harsh realities with their romantic tales of heroism and adventure. I sighed inwardly for I always had such depressing thoughts lately. I would rather be the naive idealist I once had been... Perhaps I was letting myself become too consumed with paranoia or… perhaps he really did remind me of someone that had been close to me in a former lifetime. In war, justice can never ring true.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Kaoru*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I pulled out my bokken. The other men laughed and I knew what they were thinking. Surely, a boy of no rank could not be foolish enough to believe that he could defeat Captain Saitou Hajime with a wooden sword.
I watched him closely, narrowing my eyes in concentration. Somewhere, somehow, I could hear the jeering in the background, but I had placed an invisible soundproof barrier around myself so that all that was audible to me was the beat of my heart. I knew that he was waiting for me to make the first move. It was obvious that he did not think of me as a challenge. His overconfident smirk and glint in his eyes informed me that he was merely humoring the other soldiers in fighting me. Saitou Hajime was a wolf, and I, his prey.
His eyes flashed as he saw me charging at him. It must have come as a shock to him that I would still fight. With a quick side step, he managed to evade my blow. I thought hard as I used the momentum of the bokken to flip sideways. My feet landed on the soft, yellowed earth.
How was I to outsmart the most cunning of men? I knew that my only chance of defeating Saitou would be to rid him of his sword. There was no other method suited to do this than the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu ougi. I had never used it on a person before, but I knew that I had to try.
I first had to think up a diversion so he would not know of my plan. It then dawned on me and I struck at his chest, knowing fully well that aiming would be of no help. He countered as I had predicted, but there was no denying that when it came to fighting, he always would be physically more powerful.
I dug the soles of my sandals into the ground to keep myself steady. I would use the force that he exerted into the sword to my advantage instead. The creaking sound of his blade splitting my wooden sword was not particularly reassuring.
As I let the remains of the bokken fall, I crossed my wrists so that the backs of my hands on either side of his blade would keep it from striking me. It had sliced into my hands in the brief period I had dropped my bokken, but I could endure the stinging. The pressure in which I held onto the blade would soon make my hands numb anyway. I slid the backs of my hands down the length of the cool metal so that I would be the one in control. I was at the hilt of the sword when Saitou halted. I was astounded by his sudden action that I did as well.
It was a rare sight to behold. The corners of Captain Saitou Hajime's mouth were curved upward. Could he possibly be smiling? I felt only confusion.
"That was quite a move there. You were about to use my own weapon against me." It was more of a comment than anything.
"The Kamiya Kasshin Ryu embodies the principle of using a sword that protects- on my father's honor, I will not be so easily defeated." My words were clear, though I was certain that my voice held a hint of hesitancy.
Saitou's countenance became thoughtful. His face no longer held the same coldness as it had when I first saw him. "Your father? Kamiya… He always did say that he would settle down after the war and begin his own teaching style that would suit a time of peace…"
"You- you know my father?" I inquired.
Saitou gave a slight nod, but did not give me any more information. His eyes were paternal, "You should go to your tent. I did not realize that you were Kamiya's son, but in his honor, I will let you have a tent to yourself."
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Although, the day had been nerve-racking as well as exhausting, the feelings of giddiness that came with having to adapt to a new life were still going strong.
Sano had complimented me on doing so well. Saitou would surely place me with the more advanced soldiers. If they were not favored, they were well respected at the very least.
Kenshin had been impressed as well, according to Sano, but he had not told me directly so I did not know what to think.
"Was he really?" I wondered aloud, "Well, I guess I am slowly being accepted around here… it is more than I can say about home. That word already sounds so far away…" I laughed at my satirical musings, "I'm being accepted, only this time it has to be as a man. Someday, I wish to be loved for who I am. "
And with that last moment of consciousness, I gradually drifted off into a fitful sleep, dreaming of violet eyes and a gentle smile that could never be lost in the comforting realm of sleep.
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Author's Note: You reviewers are too good to me! I don't know what I'd do without your support! Writing seems to be my escape from my extremely stressful life. Okay, my excuse: See… I saved my story onto a disk and for some reason the files can no longer be opened, so I had to retype the chapter, in which I forgot what I had previously written. *sniffles* So I was panicking over what to write again since I apparently have a bad memory when it comes to my own writing. I hope this chapter was satisfactory… Thank you all for being so patient! And Happy New Year! One of my resolutions is less procrastination and I'm placing a whole lot of activities under this category, so I hope to be writing more with my "newfound" time.
I hope everyone had fun over break! Please review! (Reviews make me feel awful for taking so long… but they also make me feel better knowing that there are people reading my story!) Oh, and tell me if there are any… mistakes.
Naiya-chan: That's okay, I don't know what to write in reviews either! Well, I apologize since I haven't been able to read your story, but I've been really stressed out lately… I am glad that you enjoy the plot though!
JML: Thanks for understanding! Lately, I have tried finding out more about Kaoru's moves, but there doesn't seem to be that much information on Kamiya Kasshin Ryu.
Namiko-Daughter of Sekhmet: You're too kind! I try my best for those who like my story! Sorry if I disappoint you though, because my life has left me barely enough time to write…
Krissy: Yay! You reviewed! You know, I've been waiting for this moment, lol. Thank you! I'm sorry that my last chapter was so short!
Roku-chan: Thank you! Thank you! I'm flattered by your compliments! There will be Kenshin and Kaoru moments, of course. However, I'm terrible at writing romance and it will come a bit later. Hey, I can make you my official informant on the portrayal of Sano! As for Soujiro… I was planning on having him be a part of this all along! *smiles* I just have to figure out when and how to introduce him.
MiSS bATTOUSAi: Thank you so much! Though, there really isn't anything about my writing to be envious of… I mean, I really don't think of myself as a good writer.
Rekka's Angel: Thanks! Dialogue has always been the most difficult for me though… but if you could, please tell me if the characters are out of character. Even if my fic is alternate universe, I like when they keep their personalities.
Digibaka: Yup! It's a good thing no one else thought this storyline up. Well, I hope no one has… It's better this way because now no one is able to compare my work with theirs! Besides, what if I couldn't measure up?
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Califpinay: Oh, the drama! Hehe, just kidding. I find it ironic how I write cliffhangers when I don't mean to and when I actually try to, no one notices. I just ran out of time then!
Kitsune KeNsHiN: Ehehe… soon is a funny word, but thanks for waiting! Talk to you soon!
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Dark Angel: I apologize if I gave the impression that I wasn't continuing. I've just been so busy with schoolwork and if I don't put academics before fan fiction writing, my parents would probably kill me! See, if I actually do die, I won't be able to write anymore!
aglaia102: I'm so sorry! I know that there are people out there telling me to continue, but there are so many obstacles in the way! My school finally let out for break, so hopefully I can write more often!
ashcandy: lol, lazy? Well, it doesn't matter! You can write whatever thoughts you have about the story though, I don't mind. In fact, I encourage it!
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