Author's Note: Please do not accuse me of sabotaging the results of the votes. Some people did not write theirs down in a review, or did tell me in an IM instead. Altogether, there weren't many votes anyway, but Saitou received 4, Sano received 4, and Megumi received 2 votes. Saitou and Sano received a tie! So, this chapter will consist of both their perspectives! Yay! Sano is first! (And, I really try not to curse in stories… but I couldn't stop myself when I was writing for him!) Also, this entire chapter is a little short as my parents are yelling at me to never use the computer! *sobs* I will re-edit this when I can, but right now I must upload! I'm so, so, so sorry!
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and Mulan are not mine. If they were, would I really be writing fan fics? (Okay, don't answer that, I probably still would…)
For Honor*Chapter 7: The Other Side of Me
By CrismHeart
January 24, 2004
I watched as she walked away. I try not to show it, but… it hurts when she does that. There always was that saying that the one you loved most could also hurt you the most.
I don't know what it is that draws me to her. Maybe it's the way her silky hair falls even when she makes the slightest movement, the way she purses her lips when she's in thought, or maybe it's simply the way she can be so beautiful and intelligent at the same time. It's the little things about her that no one else seems to notice. All I do know is that when she's happy, I am too- and that never ceases to amaze me. One look at her, and I know that I'll never find anyone better, anyone who I'll love more.
In a way, I know I'm lucky, at least more so than others. I did meet Megumi after all. How many people can say that they know what love is?
Kenshin never tells me anything about himself, but I think something happened during his past. He's not the heartless assassin that everyone says he is, but he's never been extremely sociable, not while I've known him anyway.
Some nights I hear him when he's having nightmares. I wouldn't blame him for having them. He's seen more than he should have for someone his age. I remember that once he was mumbling incoherently in the middle of the night. I woke up and saw that his face was wet, as if he had been crying. I leaned forward to hear him more clearly, but I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. It sounded like it was the name of someone he had been close to… I wonder if Kenshin had lost that someone. I haven't seen him show his emotions openly, but I think that's what he does, save them for the nighttime when he has to deal with them in his sleep.
Sometimes it's hard when you can't even figure out your best friend, but I know it wouldn't be a good idea to force him to tell me. I would know, I've tried. Even is he's not ruthless, he's still the Hitokiri Battousai and he still could kick a person's ass any day, especially if he's in a foul mood.
I glanced over to see what the other men were doing. Michiru was dueling another man who was about a head taller and twice as big with a bokken as I predicted. He really was pretty good, especially for someone new. "He'll probably end up making a name for himself soon. It's always the one you least expect to be the best." I thought with a laugh.
I was given special permission to carry on with my own training. The newest technique I had come across was Futae no Kiwami. It involves two quick hits to an object, one to reduce the resistance preventing its destruction and the second to destroy the actual object. I haven't mastered it completely yet, but I am getting there. I'm tired of the Wolf and his sinister smirk. I'll wipe it off his face one day. Why the hell does he act like he's so superior? He claims that he beats me because I don't have any defensive skills, but I will prove him wrong. After I teach myself Futae no Kiwami, I there's no doubt that I will be able to defeat him.
People always think that I don't understand others around me, but it's not true. Michiru's a decent guy. I know he is because, he kind of reminds me of Kenshin. They both seem kind of lonely though, like they've lost a lot in their lives, but they never complain about it. It's good to be around people like them. They're the type of people who don't look down on you. They do act strangely around each other, though, not that either of them is entirely normal. Maybe they are smarter than me, but hey, it's not like their looks could ever compare to mine. With my physique, who would fall for anyone else? On the other hand, Megumi does hit on Kenshin all the time and he's probably the shortest man alive, not that it means anything. She couldn't possibly like him… could she? Why does she have to play with my feelings anyway?
Maybe I'm not good enough for her, but dammit, who is? I'm not invincible like Captain Sagara, who I wish I were like. I guess I'm just scared of losing her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Saitou*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The three words emblazoned on every warrior's heart was "Aku Soku Zan- Kill Evil Instantly." In this world, there is only black and white, truth and deceit. How could it ever be possible for something to be in between? It is meaningless to question what is already assured. Life was never meant to be fair for there is only room for what is right and what is right, is just. Good and evil function in the same way. The war has a good cause, to protect our country, those we love and those who attempt to obstruct our cause, becomes an enemy. But there are times when I am tired of it all… After witnessing the destruction and doom that is brought to our world, can anyone honestly say that there is such a thing as a foe? I hold no distaste for the outsiders, they are doing what they believe is right. I am merely doing the same.
I work for no one, but myself. At least it had always been that way, until I met Tokio. Tokio… I wonder what she may be doing at the moment. Was she still smiling just as sweetly as I remember? When I came into the midst of combat, I vowed never to expose my wife and sons to the gruesomeness of it all. All I allow myself to carry are the brief memories that I have of home.
I observed as Kamiya's son executed another series of swings. The men had been divided into pairs so that they could practice dueling one another.
Michiru reminds me of his father. Occasionally, I wonder is he is not really just a younger version of him.
I always admired Kamiya for his ideals. Granted, he had been a more than a respectable soldier, but what he had more of than anyone else was heart. I admit that there are instances in which I regret not letting others read my emotions, but at the same time, I know that I cannot change my ways. I used to believe that feelings were so unnecessary for survival. A hesitation in battle would lead to death. In war, survival was of utmost importance. It does not matter how many lives you take to survive, as long as you do. In a world where the distinction between killing and being killed, who would choose otherwise? This conviction was altered when I met Kamiya.
Michiru had asked whether I had known his father. I had not answered, not because I had not heard, I had perfectly fine, but I had been thinking over a proper response. Do I know Kamiya? He had fought in the war twenty years earlier, when I had been fifteen. I had also been there to see the precision he never failed to carry out. All of his movements were calculated, and he never faltered. Unlike the rest of the men who proudly strove to rid evil, Kamiya claimed that there was no real evil, but war itself. We were merely victims lured by false appeals to our morals. The only solution was to win the war, and it would only happen at the cost of innocent lives. Even then, I could tell that there was truth in Kamiya's words. He stands for his principles. I cannot help but inquire whether I do the same. I cannot say that I truly know him, but I do believe that I understand him more than I had before.
He had told me once, that after the war, he would never fight again. The defense and protection of life was more valuable than annihilation and loss of another soul ever could be. Nothing was gained in war, and yet I am still here. Politics has always been a web of deceit in which everyone was a part of. I continue to train the new generation to fight because I do not want the next to have to. It is selfish, but I must as long as my beloved and my sons are waiting, there will be risks. As a husband and father, no one will carry more shame- no one will know about it more…
I had not talked to Kamiya in five years… but the oncoming shadow of war had consumed the minds of the spineless government officials and the military had been constantly trying to build up its forces ever since they caught wind of what lay ahead. Those who headed the administration would always promise that afterwards, there would be a time to recreate peace. I had told myself that I would have time to accomplish all that I wanted to during this new era. However, seeing as Kamiya's own son has entered the war, it is more convenient for me to write to him. He would be proud of Michiru too. He has taught him well and instilled the same values I had seen in him.
"Kamiya, forgive me for borrowing your son, he will return safely when the war is over." I said to myself.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Author's Note: Not many votes this time… *sighs* If this chapter was not to your liking, don't worry, as there will be more opportunities for bonus chapters in the future! I am quite happy that you all seem to have reasons for your choices. It makes it all the more interesting to know! ^_^
Excuse me if Sano and Saitou sounded OOC, but I just couldn't help it! Saitou can't always be a cold-hearted guy, right? And, Sano can't always be… slow on the uptake. I'm sorry, I almost never write fluff so I didn't go overboard if you're one of those people who expect me to. However, I am horrible at writing first person, especially since I never write about certain characters.
Even though I will be taking a small break from writing to study for midterms, I'm sure it won't be too noticeable… It starts on January 29 for me. *frowns* Anyway, I'm going to be starting a new story… or two, if I have time (and work on this one, of course!) The sad part is that the beginning and ending of a story is always most complicated to write, for me, anyway.
JML: I'm sorry Megumi didn't win. I actually wanted to write from her point of view because it would be the easiest… *sweatdrops*
TanukiGirl22: Sorry the last chapter seemed shorter. I think it was because of the lack of actions or scene changes. I don't mind that you want to write a fic based on "The Lion King." It sounds cool!
Naiya-chan: I've never known how to write from any character's perspective that's so different from my own, like Sano. My friends tell me that I always have a "me-style," and I think I'm beginning to realize why. I have such problems writing otherwise.
ashcandy: Thanks for your suggestions!
purpo kitee katx: I promise to put in more Sano/Megumi moments… or at least have more lighthearted scenes. There's one coming up soon, I think. ^_^
Kitsune KeNsHiN: Hehe, I don't know why, but for some reason I thought you would choose Saitou. Did you like it somewhat? *looks nervously at screen*
Kitsune-Onna19: Yay! Thanks for all the reviews! I love reviews! And getting so many is even better!
Kyia Star: Well, Saitou received a tie with Sano, but that's okay, isn't it? I hope my interpretation of him was acceptable. I think I've noticed that my character are different internally than externally. O.o
Krissy: Thanks as always!
Digibaka: Well, see, the character doesn't really have to be perched on Kaoru's shoulder, lol. That probably wouldn't work out too well unless they shrank… a lot. Oh, and I hope the SATs went well!
Haruya: All these name changes are confusing me, lol! Thanks for telling me and I hope you continue reading!
Witchitta: Thank you again for telling me!
Lil-Sun-Rie: Of course I'm okay! *grins* It takes a lot for me not to be! Anyway, I don't mind if you take awhile to review as long as you do!
Roku-chan: Hey, you're welcome! You deserve the credit anyway! You are special!
Kaname-chan: Wow! Thank you so much! I never intended for this fic to be cute, but sure, why not? And I'm sure that you are a much better writer than you think you are.
lightning-storm: Well, if you don't believe me, then at least you made one person happy! That's me! Um… see that wasn't a pairing, I just didn't get them separated for some reason on the site. Oh well, lol. I'll try my best to review, but at the moment I think I'm probably being yelled at to study for midterms. O.o
Chibi Binasu-chan: Yay! Thanks for checking out my story! I wasn't sure how exactly to contact you so if you don't read this, I'll try to review again… For your story, I think Soujiro/Misao would be cute, but I feel bad for whoever doesn't end up with Misao… *sobs*