Disclaimer: Legal mumbo jumbo blah, blah, blah I don't own em Joss and Mutant Enemy do
Author's note : Off to Massachusetts they are. Just when our blonde hero was getting ready for a little tan time in the California sun. Sigh. How's a slayer to keep her tan if she never gets her sun?
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What are we gonna do now?
Chapter 14
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The two slayers are sitting side by side on their flight. They are holding hands. Faith has her seat back, and is snoozing. Buffy, on the other hand, is sitting straight up. Her face is a mask of concern and gloom. She looks at her watch.
10 minutes out of Logan. Half an hour tops and it all gets real again. Sigh. I just wish sometimes this didn't keep happening to us. I put on a brave front for Faith back there, but I'm scared. Piss my pants scared. I don't know if I can do this again. I haven't a clue of what to do, where to go. If that …thing… is right, Giles is out. I mean, I can try to contact him, but what if he really believes I'm psycho? What then?
Harder than the first? What if …it… was telling the truth? Shit. I barely defeated that, and I had lots of help. Now my scoobies are scattered to the 4 winds, and slayers? If I'm thought to be nuts, I can count that out. God, why did I even say that? Why didn't I just take the hint? Run like hell…let someone else handle it? When you gonna learn, Buffy?
I know, I know, we'll get this done, somehow. But I swear, this is it. Last time. No more save the world for Buffy. She's done, take her out and serve her. Maybe it really is a game for younger women. I know it was easier when things seemed black and white, rather than all these shades of gray.
Buffy looks over at Faith, and she gets a soft look on her face.
Poor baby. Hasn't been sleeping well at all. God, this has been so miserable for her. All the guilt she already carries with her, and now she is gonna blame herself for this. I know she will. She always acts so tough, like nothing bothers her. But I know better, I've seen how she gets 'bothered'. It's scary. I promise baby, when we're done here, we're done. No more of this. Somehow , someway I'm gonna give you the life you deserve. I don't care if I gotta rob banks to do it, I'm gonna see to it you have a nice happy life baby. Promise. We'll sit out in the sun, and tan and get all giggly and stuff. It's gonna be great. Promise.
Buffy brushes a stray hair out of Faith's face. Faith scrunches her nose a little, and moves a bit.
I hope… 'Cordelia' … was wrong. That they don't get Angel to be their 'puppet'. It's so weird. Angel, with a soul, evil. I just can't get my mind wrapped around it. But I guess it's possible, I mean look at all the evil flesh and blood humans do. But it just isn't right, somehow. Angel deserves better than this … after all he has suffered. Somehow I gotta warn him. I know he won't believe me, but maybe I can get someone who he will believe to talk to him, warn him before it's too late. Sigh… another thing for the list. Why the hell did he ever take that gig , running Wolfram and Hart anyway? Didn't he get it? Big Bad law firm. Not likely to roll over and just let him do his thing? There must be a reason, just wish I knew what it was.
Bong---- Bong
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. We are making our final descent into Logan International Airport. Please bring your seats into the upright position, and fasten your seat belts. Fold away all snack trays and store away any carryon luggage you have. Thank you for flying United Airlines flight 843 to Boston, and we hope you've had a pleasant journey"
Buffy leans over. She is about to shake Faith, when she smiles, and goes in for the kiss instead. Faith's eyes open, and she returns the smooch.
"C'mon baby, we're landing. Gotta sit up and belt up"
Faith brings her seat upright, and attaches the belt. She smiles.
"Gee, B. Back on my old stomping grounds. Wicked. I finally get to lead you around and show you the hot spots. This is gonna be great. Faith and B conquer Boston, oh yeah" Faith grins at Buffy.
"Well, actually Faith, we're not really staying in Boston long. We're just being picked up at the Airport. Actually, we're going a little north of Boston."
Faith looks a little disappointed. "Oh? Where we goin' then, B?" She asks.
Buffy smiles at her. "Actually, Salem"
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The young woman at the airport paced nervously. She had been here an hour waiting for the flight from L.A. to come in. But it really wasn't the waiting that was making her nervous.
She was nervous about seeing Buffy and Faith. Especially Buffy. It had been a long time since they had seen each other.
Well, ok maybe not that long if you count those little get-togethers we had when I went to England to consult with the Coven. But those really didn't count. It was more like strangers in a café, than seeing each other. But since we really talked? Sigh. Even that last year we were together in Sunnydale… how much did we really talk? Not much I say. So it's been a long time, really.
And that hasn't changed things. Not for me. Not the way I feel about Buffy. Something I could never tell her, ever.
She would freak. She wouldn't get it. No, she'd get it. But she'd be uncomfortable around me then. I mean I know she couldn't feel….sigh…Face it , Willow, she can't love you the same way you love her. Got it? She won't feel the butterflies in her tummy when I'm around, she won't babble for no good reason. She won't dream about me like I dream about her. God, if she ever knew that, she'd never talk to me again. Those dreams of her, her lips, her skin…sigh. How I want to snuggle up to her, and hold her, and kiss her…oh my. Not good to think of this. Not helping. So not helping.
But I can't help how I feel about her. Been feeling about her for a long, long time. I sublimated my feelings into Oz, into Tara, even into Kennedy…ok , Kenny was just sex, but the other two? I loved them. But, it was Buffy I wanted. I know that now…ok, I probably knew that then, but didn't admit it. She had no idea that when Oz left me, when she comforted me, how much more I wanted. So much more.
But that so wasn't her. She woulda thought it was icky… or gross. Ok, not fair. Buffy has always been supportive of me being gay. But… she would never see me that way. Never think of it, probably. Not in her realm of doing. So why does she have to have this utter adorableness about her?
This is pointless. Thinking about her that way. But it does make it hard at times being around her, and not…never mind. She said She and Faith were in some kind of trouble. Didn't say much about it except it involved Angel… and Cordelia? What, did she miss a sale and go all destructo girl? Ok, not fair. Sometimes I get tired of being fair. When does Willow get a turn, huh? Well, ok I went all veiny and dark roots and all, and tried to destroy the world, but I didn't, did I? Ok, Xander managed to get to me to stop it. But….
Damn it Buffy Summers. Why do I have to be in love with you? And why the hell can't you be in love with me? Grrrrrr.
Well, here they come. Time to be old reliable Willow. Old geeky sidekick Willow. Best pal Willow.
Never lover Willow, never darling Willow.
This sucks.
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" Hey guys, over here!" Willow jumps up and down and waves.
"Will!!!" Buffy enfolds Willow in a large hug. For a few brief moments Willow is in heaven…but she is back on earth again, all too soon.
" Missed ya, Will" Buffy whispered into her ear
"Missed you too, Buffy" Willow whispered back.
" Hey, Red" Faith interjects. The two women look at each other.
Should they hug? Shouldn't they hug? It finally goes into one of those awkward hugs with back patting, etc.
Buffy looks at the two of them and shrugs. Geeze, get over it already.
"Look, you two. Are you ever gonna let go of the past?" Buffy asks. "I mean, c'mon you helped save the world together. You gotta be able to do better than that."
They try again. It's a little less awkward, but still no warm and fuzzies. Buffy sighs.
" You two are hopeless. That kinda sucks, as you both are special to me"
Willow goes huh? To herself
" I mean, Will's been my best friend like…what, forever? And Faith…." Buffy breaks off, a little…shy all of a sudden.
Faith has a grin like the cat that ate the canary.
Willow looks at Buffy, who is now blushing a little, and Faith, who looks all smirky …and…oh…
"Uhhh… you… and Faith?" Willow kinda does a double take.
One word goes through her mind. One word, and she doesn't use it very often…hardly ever…
SHIT
Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit shitshitshitshitshitshitshit shitshitshitshitshitshitshit shitshitshitshitshitshitshit
Buffy looks at Willow, concerned
" Willow, are you ok ?" She asks.
Oh, dandy, Buffy. Just dandy.
"Yeah… fine, Buffy. Great. I mean this is great. You . and Faith. And. You. … Great!"
liar, liar, liar, liar.
Damn
" So…how long? I mean, have you…ummm… you know?" Willow somehow gets out.
" Just a couple of months, really. Since I got back to L.A." Buffy smiles.
" So, Red? You. What about you? Anyone special?" Faith asks.
" Uh, no…no one really." Willow replies.
"No, really Red? I can't believe it. I thought you would have to be beatin' them off with a stick, you're such a cutie" Faith says.
"Busy, you know? Running business, doing magic, takes up a lot of time" Willow makes an excuse
" Will, Will, Will. What am I gonna do with you? Don't tell me your back to syllables again?" Buffy teases her . Reminding Will of that time at the Bronze they discussed dating. "Well, that settles it. Faith, we're just going to have to take her out 'til she finds some little cutie to bring back home with her" Buffy chuckles a little.
"No, just been busy, Buffy. That's all" Willow replies, her tone turning a little cool.
Buffy notes the change, and is a little… worried. Did she hit a sore spot, or something?
"Hey, Will… I'm sorry…I was only kidding" Buffy apologizes.
Willow put on a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes
" Hey, no big. Maybe we should get going. You said there was trouble. Maybe I can help… that's what you're here for, right?" Willow is definitely cooler now.
Willow starts towards the luggage carousel. Buffy looks at Faith, and asks silently 'What did I do?' Faith shrugs 'Haven't a clue'.
They follow Willow to claim their luggage.
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The ride to Salem was…quiet. Maybe a bit too quiet. Buffy and Faith both attempted to engage Willow in conversation, but it was a wasted effort. Best they got was one few word answer. Mostly it was one word, or grunts or a shrug. Buffy was definitely worried.
I don't get it. I mean, she seemed just like Will when we first greeted. All smiles and happiness and stuff. But then, she just got… cold. After she found out about Faith and me. C'mon, does she still have a grudge with Faith? After all this time. This is just plain silly. No, this is stupid. And so unfair. I mean, when she was with Kennedy, did I go all cold to her? No. I mean, I didn't get buddy-buddy with Kennedy, but I didn't freeze her out, either. And this is so not like Willow, anyway. She usually is the first to be all friendly-like, and forgiving. So, why is she still so…off with Faith?
Maybe it's the fact I'm with Faith. Maybe she is wigged that I …well, like at least this woman. But, that just doesn't make sense either. I mean, I thought she, off all my friends, would be ok with this. Sigh. Go figure.
And she got so touchy when Faith and I kidded about getting her a woman. What's that about, anyway?
I hope she gets over it. I mean, geeze. The comment about why we're here. Sure, we need her help, but I want my friend too. I love my Will. She's been my bud forever. We've been apart too long. I was hoping we could get our friendship back.
(shrug) Maybe she just isn't interested in being friends anymore. Maybe she…just has moved on.
I hope not. I hope we can be buds again. But I can't force her. I mean, she has her own life. But that would suck
That would so totally suck.
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They reach Willow's house in Salem in about an hour. They unload the luggage, and the two slayers start taking it inside.
Willow has one of those great old Cape Cods overlooking the Bay. It has 3 bedrooms, and is modestly but tastefully furnished. Everywhere there are reminders of the Wicca influence. Which really contrasts the computers she has about, necessary to her Business. The colors, décor, and furnishing just say "Willow" to anyone who knows her.
" I prepared two rooms for you, but I guess you'll only be needing one now" Willow says. " We can use the other to store the luggage. Best that way, probably. The rooms are not on the large side."
" I'll start putting the luggage away" Buffy says, grabbing some cases. "Wanna give me a hand, Faith?" She asks.
"Actually, B. If you can handle it alone, I kinda like to have a little chat with Red here" Faith replies.
Buffy arches a brow. But she shrugs, and says " Yeah, no big. I can do this"
Faith has been sizing up what happened, and has pretty much put 2 and 2 together. She saw the way Willow acted around Buffy, and saw how she looked at her. She knew that look. She also knew she had to try to do something here. It was important to both of them that they don't have this 'thing' between them.
" So, Red, you and me. Where can we chat?" Faith asks
"Here?" Willow replies. Not all that eager to chat with Faith.
"Uh… no Red, somewhere Buffy free I think is better," Faith replies.
Willow looks at Faith, shrugs and points to the kitchen. She leads , and Faith follows close behind.
"Ok, Faith. Here we are. What do you want to 'chat' about?" Willow asks. Her tone is neutral, and not particularly interested.
" Oh, I dunno, Red. Birds. Bees. The weather. How long you been in love with Buffy" Faith drops the bomb.
Willow goes pale. The recovers. Her eyes get a little hard, and her smile is frozen
" You're nuts, Faith. I'm not in love with Buffy" Willow replies. Yeah, sure.
" Yeah, Red, and I'm still a virgin" Faith retorts. Then she softens it a little. " Look, Red, not all of us are as blind as Blondie is. I see how you look at her. I see what happens when she touches or hugs you. God, if she ever kissed you, you'd faint."
Willow gives Faith a look. " Well, that's not likely to happen in this lifetime. And it really doesn't matter, does it? She loves you, Faith, not me"
" Look, Red, I'm not going to sit here and apologize for loving Buffy. I'm not gonna say I'm sorry that she returns those feelings. But I do understand what you feel, Red. I know what it's like to be stupid over the blonde. And it wasn't sudden for me, girlfriend. I was in love with her back in prison. Though I didn't admit it to myself."
" I was in love with her back in high school" Willow admits, her shell cracking a little. "Took me awhile to figure it out, too"
"Yeah, B. has that power to worm her way into your heart, before you can guard against it. Damn her" Faith says. But she's smiling.
"It's so damned unfair, Faith. I'm sorry, but it's just not right. I mean, I was always there for her, always. Even when you went all evil and stuff. I was with her. I … I loved her forever, and she never noticed. Never reciprocated. You come along, all cute and sexy and hot, and she goes for you. Even back then, I saw something going on. Damn , damn , damn. Just not fair at all." Willow slumps over, defeated. Faith makes to come over, and put an arm around her, but Willow gives her a " don't, please just don't" look. Faith backs off.
"Ok, ok Will, got it" Faith says
" So, Faith. The point of this? To rub my nose in it? To humiliate me? Ok, done. You did. So, why not just leave me be?" Willow says, her voice harsh.
" No, Red. That's not the point. Look, I'm sorry Buffy can be incredibly blind. She can't see sometimes what's going on around her. But, that also isn't the point."
" If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. I know we aren't friends, never really have been. But you and Buffy are friends… good friends. Do you really want to throw that away?" Faith asks
" No" Willow replies, quietly.
" Ok, then. If you're pissed about something, see me, ok? Don't make Buffy feel bad. Right now, she's scared, and needing you bad. Yes, you. This is something I can't give her, but you can. So, don't blow this Red. By being jealous of me. Buffy and I have one thing, and you and Buffy have something special too. Something Buffy and I probably never have. If you really love her like you say, Red, you'll stop freezing her out. Ok?"
Willow looks at the floor.
God, I hate it when your right, Faith. Grrrrrr.
"Ok, you're right. I've been acting stupid." Willow admits.
Before Willow can stop her, Faith comes over and hugs her. She plants a little kiss on her cheek
"It's ok, Red. Love does that to ya." Faith grins at her.
"You ever hurt her, Faith, and I'll have to turn you into a toad, you know" Willow grins a small grin back at her.
" Ok, but make sure it's a hot toad with superpowers, got it Red?" Faith is grinning wider. She pats Willow on the shoulder, and leaves to help Buffy with the luggage.
Willow sits in the kitchen, rubbing her cheek. She's baffled.
One of these days, she'll figure out Faith.
She hopes.
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TBC