Chapter 10 : Things Grow Dark

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Winter went by, slowly but surely. The frost began to melt away, and everything began to thaw. Flowers peeked out meekly from beneath the ground. People began to shed their thick winter clothing, and move about outdoors more. Everyone seemed to perk up, no longer bound to their homes because of the freezing cold. Everyone except Gwynna.

She stayed home more and more, suffering from common colds. Those were cured easily by the healing women, but then the cold would strike again and again. And that confounded coughing just would not cease. It was beginning to dampen Gwynna's spirits. And she hated feeling like she could not breath, hated the gasping and wheezing that came during those moments. She hated the dull ache that hung around her chest. She hated being ill. She hated not being able to run about outdoors like she used to. She hated not being able to take care of her father properly, needing him to take care of her more and more. She hated not being able to run out to greet Legolas when he came. Most of all, she hated seeing the worry on everyone's faces.

Fenwë had come a few times, frowning at her coughing, but he brought her Elvish books for her to continue her study, and brought her a new bow, sturdy and beautiful. But what was the use of a new bow when her father did not allow her to practice everyday? Of course she still went out and practiced, but those instances were getting rarer and rarer.

Eldarion came almost every day, when he did not have any studying of his own to do, bringing books and little wooden games so that she would not be bored at home. He brought little cakes and pies from the kitchens as well. "My mother said to bring these to you," he told her, and Gwynna always blushed at that, honoured that Queen Arwen had thought about her. Gwynna was grateful for having a friend like Eldarion who would come to keep her company whenever he could, and always did his best to make her laugh even when she was feeling terrible.

Legolas came to Minas Tirith as often as he could, and spent almost all his time at her side. Once he had brought Gimli along as well, when the Dwarf had decided to come and visit the king. Meeting Gimli had been a wonderful surprise for her, even though that had been one of her especially bad days. He was polite, and witty, and also had a different take on the happening during the War of the Ring. He did not hesitate in speaking about it to her, either, and had sat at her bedside for the longest time telling her as much as he could.

And of course there was her father. He hurried home everyday, as fast as his limping gait could take him, to check on her. He would insist that she had hot soup everyday, as a way to try to soothe the throat and prevent coughing. It didn't work, but he still insisted that she had hot soup. He always tried to crack jokes and laugh, acting as if everything was all right, but Gwynna could see right through him, and she knew that he was very worried. Sometimes, if she woke up in the middle of the night, she thought she could hear him crying in his room. And then she would feel terrible, thinking that it was all her fault. It was all her fault that she could not seem to get better, it was all her fault that she made her father worry so. She would feel like an ungrateful wretch, always creating problems for everyone else. And it was in those dark hours that she truly hated herself.

Deep in her heart, she was beginning to understand something, something that she knew was the truth. She was not going to get better. In fact, it would only get worse, each day worse off than the day before, until she finally succumbed to this disease that was eating her up from the inside out. And even though she knew that she should have been terrified, she was not. She just accepted it, and wondered numbly, I wonder if this was how Mother felt.

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Gwynna opened her eyes, and realised that she was lying on the ground. I must have fainted, she thought to herself. She sat up, trying to ignore that dull ache in her chest, and looked around. The house was empty. Good, Father does not know. She stood up, brushing dirt off her dress. Her head spun a little, and she walked a little unsteadily to her bed.

Just before she fell into drowsy slumber, she remembered thinking, I wonder if I will wake, and still be in Middle Earth.

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Aragorn watched Leorian. He seemed distant, and Aragorn knew that he was not listening to the issue about the sewers. And why would he be interested in the sewers, when his daughter suffers at home? Aragorn shook his head and held up his hand, stopping the speaker in mid-sentence. "Leorian," he said, and the man shook himself out of his reverie. "Leorian," Aragorn repeated. "There is no need for you to be here today. Things will be well taken care of. Why don't you go home to your daughter, and take good care of her?"

Leorian stood up without protest, and nodded. This was unusual. Usually Leorian would protest that he had a duty to fulfil for the country, and would try to find excuses to stay. Aragorn frowned slightly. Gwynna's illness must be worsening. He had heard of her condition from Eldarion, who was growing increasingly worried, or even afraid. He had also heard of her condition from Legolas, who seemed to be about to jump out of his skin. "And why don't you take Gwynna to Ithilien? I am sure she misses the Elves. Go with her, Leorian, the air there will do you good as well. Don't worry about things here."

Leorian nodded once more, again without protest, bowed and hurried out of the hall.

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Gwynna rode beside her father, bound for Ithilien, like she had been almost one year before. One year… and so much had happened. This time, they did not let the horses gallop, but went slowly, for which Gwynna was glad. At times she was not sure if she could stay in her saddle or fall off, and she was sure that if the horses had galloped, she would have simply fallen off and broken her neck.

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Legolas stood anxiously, awaiting the arrival of Leorian and Gwynna. Unlike the year before, he was now alone. Finally he saw the horses appear, and draw closer. They seemed to take eternity to come to him, and he had never felt so impatient before in his life.

He carried Gwynna off her horse before she could try to dismount herself. He was taking absolutely no chances. He was going to make sure that she was very, very well taken care of, and the only way to do that was to do it himself. Gwynna did not object to him carrying her off, though, which worried him even more. Usually she would have swatted him and complained that she could do it herself.

He forced himself to smile, knowing that she hated seeing him worry. "Welcome to Ithilien, my princess."

She smiled back at him. "It's good to be back in Ithilien. I missed this place." She leaned in closer to whisper in his ear. "I missed you."

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Gwynna ate little at dinner, but after the meal she wanted to take a walk with Legolas, like they did before, and so they went. They walked in silence at first, under the trees, holding hands. Then Gwynna said, "Do you remember that talk we had the first time we kissed?"

Legolas held his breath. "The talk we had in Emyn Arnen? The talk about death?"

Gwynna nodded. "I've been thinking about it. You were right, Legolas. Death teaches us to treasure our loved ones. I couldn't see it then, but I can see it now. I understand it now."

"Why are you talking about this?" Legolas had to ask, but in his heart he didn't want her to reply. He didn't want to hear what he knew she was going to say.

"I want to spend as much time as I can with you now. I want to love you more and more, and I want to treasure you for now. Because I don't know how much longer this is going to last."

Legolas forced a laugh. "Don't be ridiculous, Gwynna. You're just saying this because you aren't feeling well. Don't worry, you'll be all right soon." But he knew deep inside that she was right. He just didn't want to believe it was the truth. He looked at Gwynna, really looked at her. She seemed so much older now, so much more matured. No longer the naïve girl who had left her home for the first time a year before, no more the girl who lived in her world of dreams, no more the girl who feared and hated death. Now she was a woman, a woman who understood what she was going through, a woman who knew what was going to happen to her. No, I will not lose her, he told himself stubbornly.

Gwynna shook her head and smiled at Legolas, squeezing his hand. "You can't lie to yourself like that, Legolas. You know what is going to happen." Her voice was calm and steady, and Legolas' heart felt like it was going to rip out of his chest. She looked straight into his eyes. "It's getting worse, everyday it gets worse. And sometimes I think that it's going to be the end, but it's not the end, not yet. It started with coughing fits, but now there's this pain in my chest, all the time. And I don't know how much longer I can stand it." Her voice finally broke, and a tear rolled down her cheek. "My mother suffered the same illness, didn't she? You know it, you know she did." She wrapped her arms around Legolas suddenly. "I'll miss you when I'm gone."

Legolas stood there, numb. He did not know what to say, nor did he think he could even make himself say anything. He felt frozen, completely frozen. He didn't want to believe what she was saying. He fought hard to tell himself that she was just exaggerating, that she would get better soon, and that everything would be all right, but it was hard to convince himself otherwise when he knew that she was right.

He was going to lose his princess.

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Leorian tossed and turned in his bed, unable to sleep. Gwynna seemed to be a little happier in Ithilien, but she was no longer the active girl she used to be. Of course, she could still walk about, but at times she felt so ill that she would want nothing more than to go to bed. She seemed to feel a little better with Legolas around, but that would not save her. A sob wrenched its way out of him, when he finally found no choice but to give in to the truth.

The same evil that had stolen his wife was now stealing his daughter.

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NOTE: Wow this is a pretty long chapter. It made me feel sad too… Anyway, I think this fic will be over in 1 or 2 chapters.