Author's Note: I don't own anything. I don't own the characters. I don't own Disney or Squaresoft. I don't even own the computer that I'm writing this on. Heck! I don't even own the beginning story line! I had this in a dream last night, only the characters in the dream weren't Riku and Sora and I had to change it a bit to fit the situation. I'm so pathetic.. Anyways. This is my first fan fic in about 2 years or so and even then, those were just between my best friend and me so no one ever read them except us. Well, onward!
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Chapter One: I'm alone
"She fucking fucked him!" Sora yelled loud enough for the entire island to hear. He went to see Kairi this morning because she had called off their afternoon date because she was sick. Sora had gone to see how she was doing, but when he walked in, he caught Kairi `playing around' with the new junior on the island.
It was three days after our senior prom and the night had been so perfect for Sora, it made me jealous. He and Kairi had been crowned king and queen and they shared a perfect spot-light slow dance. It seemed like bliss to Sora and it showed. And now this. If people had learned of my secret before voting, they never would have voted Sora king and maybe even Kairi queen.
After a good ten minutes of solid anger, Sora finally broke down into tears. "Come here," I said closing the distance between us, then taking him into my arms. I wanted so much to comfort him, but there seemed to be nothing that I could say to him without lying. I was so happy to hold him like that, knowing that he was single again and that maybe, just maybe, he could be mine. But at the same time, I was hurting inside. I hurt because Sora was hurting. I hated to see him upset. He was always my smiling, happy-go-lucky Sora. Okay, maybe not my Sora, but all the same.
"I'm so sorry Sora." I felt like this was my entire fault
~flashback~
"Why do you hate Kairi?" Sora asked as we lay on the beach.
"I don't hate her, I just. I just. well. I'm. jealous of her, I guess," I replied hesitantly.
"What? Why?" Sora asked confused.
"Well. to tell you the truth, I. I." I took a deep breath. "I love you." And with that, I turned my head from him. I couldn't stand to see his reaction.
"Oh." He said plainly sitting up on his elbows.
"Sora. I don't want anything to change. I don't want this to ruin our friendship. I've accepted the fact that I can't have you. Please," I sat up facing him, "don't tell anyone. I don't want things to change."
He nodded. "Promise."
~end flashback~
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was my fault that Kairi broke up with him. Sora had indeed kept his promise, but a couple of months later, at Tidus' birthday party Selphie got us playing the childish game of `Truth or Dare.'
~flashback~
"Dare."
"Oh, c'mon Riku, you always pick dare," Selphie whined. "C'mon."
I hated to hear her whine. It made me cringe and she knew that I couldn't stand it. That's why she did it; she knew that I would give in. This was one of my major weaknesses, the other. Sora.
"Fine, truth." I gave in.
"Okay, lemme think of a good one.. Hm. Got it! Have you ever thought about a guy in that way?"
"Aw, c'mon Selph. What kind of question was that, ya? Do you really think that Riku would actually be gay?" Waaka complained as the others joined in with agreement.
I just sat there beat red, I could feel it. I didn't say anything hoping that no one would notice and forget about the question. Sora looked at me, knowing my secret he kept silent as well. I mouthed a thank you to him, trying to control my embarrassment. I must have been as red as a tomato and my pale skin couldn't help either.
~end flashback~
It was then that everyone found out and they all slowly drifted away from me. And then, it rippled. Because Sora had stayed my best friend, my only friend, people drifted from him as well and just recently they began leaving Kairi as well and she couldn't handle it.
Sora's pain now was my fault and I hated to se him suffer, especially because of me. I would never do anything to hurt him and I hoped that he knew that.
"I'm so sorry Sora." I hugged him tighter wishing his pain would just go away. He took a deep shaking breath and his sobs came to an end.
"Riku."
"Hm?" I looked into his eyes, mine filled with concern, his filled with emptiness and hurt.
"Kiss me." Gods that voice, it turned sensual all of a sudden.
"What?" So many emotions ran through my body in that instant. Confusion and shock. Had he just told me to kiss him? Happiness. Could my fantasies really be coming true? Turned on. His sexy voice, wanting me? But mainly sadness because I knew that he was in too much of an emotional state to make these kinds of decisions. I knew deep in my heart that he was just trying to fill that void that Kairi left him with and he knew how I felt about him.
I began to slowly back away, my emotions going in a million directions. "C'mon Riku, I know how you feel. I know you want it." His finger trailed up my chest. I felt myself harden instantly; I bit my lip trying to hold things in. It took all of my strength to keep myself from tackling him and claiming him as mine and only mine.
"Sora, I-I. can't. You're too emotional right now. You don't know what you're doing. You... You don't mean it." I choked out, biting my lip again.
"Damn it Riku! I do know what I'm doing!" He started yelling again and this time it was at me. It hurt. Not from the fact that he was yelling at me really, but more because I had to turn down the man that I loved. I wish that he could understand how much I really cared for him and that I had to do this, for him.
I took him into my arms again, but this time with force. His emotions were everywhere. "Sora. Sora, c'mon." I tried to calm him, but he continued to struggle against me. All these years of sparing together had made him much stronger, but he was still no match for me. "Please. Sora," I pleaded with him. I wanted so much for him to be okay again.
He finally stopped struggling when he had no strength left in him. Now, he was just violently shaking. Then, I did something never thought I would do, especially in front of someone, not that Sora noticed. I cried. I cried for him and I cried for myself.
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Author's Ending Note: So how bad was it? Meh. It should get better as the plot develops, but if it doesn't, don't hold it against me. I need to get back into practice of writing these things again. Please review. It doesn't take long and they are so helpful. Thank ye.
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Chapter One: I'm alone
"She fucking fucked him!" Sora yelled loud enough for the entire island to hear. He went to see Kairi this morning because she had called off their afternoon date because she was sick. Sora had gone to see how she was doing, but when he walked in, he caught Kairi `playing around' with the new junior on the island.
It was three days after our senior prom and the night had been so perfect for Sora, it made me jealous. He and Kairi had been crowned king and queen and they shared a perfect spot-light slow dance. It seemed like bliss to Sora and it showed. And now this. If people had learned of my secret before voting, they never would have voted Sora king and maybe even Kairi queen.
After a good ten minutes of solid anger, Sora finally broke down into tears. "Come here," I said closing the distance between us, then taking him into my arms. I wanted so much to comfort him, but there seemed to be nothing that I could say to him without lying. I was so happy to hold him like that, knowing that he was single again and that maybe, just maybe, he could be mine. But at the same time, I was hurting inside. I hurt because Sora was hurting. I hated to see him upset. He was always my smiling, happy-go-lucky Sora. Okay, maybe not my Sora, but all the same.
"I'm so sorry Sora." I felt like this was my entire fault
~flashback~
"Why do you hate Kairi?" Sora asked as we lay on the beach.
"I don't hate her, I just. I just. well. I'm. jealous of her, I guess," I replied hesitantly.
"What? Why?" Sora asked confused.
"Well. to tell you the truth, I. I." I took a deep breath. "I love you." And with that, I turned my head from him. I couldn't stand to see his reaction.
"Oh." He said plainly sitting up on his elbows.
"Sora. I don't want anything to change. I don't want this to ruin our friendship. I've accepted the fact that I can't have you. Please," I sat up facing him, "don't tell anyone. I don't want things to change."
He nodded. "Promise."
~end flashback~
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was my fault that Kairi broke up with him. Sora had indeed kept his promise, but a couple of months later, at Tidus' birthday party Selphie got us playing the childish game of `Truth or Dare.'
~flashback~
"Dare."
"Oh, c'mon Riku, you always pick dare," Selphie whined. "C'mon."
I hated to hear her whine. It made me cringe and she knew that I couldn't stand it. That's why she did it; she knew that I would give in. This was one of my major weaknesses, the other. Sora.
"Fine, truth." I gave in.
"Okay, lemme think of a good one.. Hm. Got it! Have you ever thought about a guy in that way?"
"Aw, c'mon Selph. What kind of question was that, ya? Do you really think that Riku would actually be gay?" Waaka complained as the others joined in with agreement.
I just sat there beat red, I could feel it. I didn't say anything hoping that no one would notice and forget about the question. Sora looked at me, knowing my secret he kept silent as well. I mouthed a thank you to him, trying to control my embarrassment. I must have been as red as a tomato and my pale skin couldn't help either.
~end flashback~
It was then that everyone found out and they all slowly drifted away from me. And then, it rippled. Because Sora had stayed my best friend, my only friend, people drifted from him as well and just recently they began leaving Kairi as well and she couldn't handle it.
Sora's pain now was my fault and I hated to se him suffer, especially because of me. I would never do anything to hurt him and I hoped that he knew that.
"I'm so sorry Sora." I hugged him tighter wishing his pain would just go away. He took a deep shaking breath and his sobs came to an end.
"Riku."
"Hm?" I looked into his eyes, mine filled with concern, his filled with emptiness and hurt.
"Kiss me." Gods that voice, it turned sensual all of a sudden.
"What?" So many emotions ran through my body in that instant. Confusion and shock. Had he just told me to kiss him? Happiness. Could my fantasies really be coming true? Turned on. His sexy voice, wanting me? But mainly sadness because I knew that he was in too much of an emotional state to make these kinds of decisions. I knew deep in my heart that he was just trying to fill that void that Kairi left him with and he knew how I felt about him.
I began to slowly back away, my emotions going in a million directions. "C'mon Riku, I know how you feel. I know you want it." His finger trailed up my chest. I felt myself harden instantly; I bit my lip trying to hold things in. It took all of my strength to keep myself from tackling him and claiming him as mine and only mine.
"Sora, I-I. can't. You're too emotional right now. You don't know what you're doing. You... You don't mean it." I choked out, biting my lip again.
"Damn it Riku! I do know what I'm doing!" He started yelling again and this time it was at me. It hurt. Not from the fact that he was yelling at me really, but more because I had to turn down the man that I loved. I wish that he could understand how much I really cared for him and that I had to do this, for him.
I took him into my arms again, but this time with force. His emotions were everywhere. "Sora. Sora, c'mon." I tried to calm him, but he continued to struggle against me. All these years of sparing together had made him much stronger, but he was still no match for me. "Please. Sora," I pleaded with him. I wanted so much for him to be okay again.
He finally stopped struggling when he had no strength left in him. Now, he was just violently shaking. Then, I did something never thought I would do, especially in front of someone, not that Sora noticed. I cried. I cried for him and I cried for myself.
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Author's Ending Note: So how bad was it? Meh. It should get better as the plot develops, but if it doesn't, don't hold it against me. I need to get back into practice of writing these things again. Please review. It doesn't take long and they are so helpful. Thank ye.