Act I scene iii
RED sees the two STEPSISTERS and the STEPMOTHER sitting on lawn chairs, sipping water, in front of a cottage with bite marks in it while CINDERELLA does yard work.
RED: Hi. Enjoying the day?
STEPSISTER 1: We were till you showed up.
STEPSISTER 2: You're blocking my sun!
RED: Sorry about that! I was just wondering if you had a stepladder that I could borrow.
STEPSISTER 1: Why would you want our stepladder?
RED: Well, you see, there's this girl stuck in a tower that I promised to rescue before I went to my GRANNY's with all these goodies. She can't get down without a stepladder because then she'd fall in thorn bushes and be blinded.
STEPSISTERS: GASP! Then she wouldn't see!
RED: You get the picture. So, about that stepladder…
STEPMOTHER: You can't have it!
RED: Why not?
STEPMOTHER: We can't just go around lending strangers our stepladder!
RED: Oh. Well, I'm RED RIDING HOOD. There, now I'm not a stranger.
STEPSISTER 2: Seems reasonable, Mother. CINDERELLA!
STEPMOTHER: No that just won't do. I'm sorry but you'll have to look elsewhere for a stepladder.
RED: But yours is the only house around here for miles! (CINDERELLA arrives with a pitcher)
STEPMOTHER: What are you doing here?
CINDERELLA: Didn't you call?
STEPMOTHER: No.
CINDERELLA: But, I heard—
STEPMOTHER: No.
CINDERELLA: Didn't you—
STEPMOTHER: No.
RED: Hey, can't I—
STEPMOTHER: No.
STEPSISTER 1: CINDERELLA, refill my—
STEPMOTHER: No.
STEPSISTER 2: Mother, she was just trying to get a refill!
STEPMOTHER: Sorry, I was on a roll.
CINDERELLA tops off her family's drinks before going back to work.
RED: There's nothing I can do to convince me to borrow the ladder?
STEPMOTHER: No.
RED: Hey, don't start that again!
STEPMOTHER: Then stop asking about my stepladder!
RED storms away. She sees how upset CINDERELLA is and approaches her.
RED: Are they always like that?
CINDERELLA: Unfortunately.
RED: Tough break.
CINDERELLA: Tell me about it. So, what brings you here?
RED: I wanted to borrow a stepladder from them.
CINDERELLA: Well, my STEPMOTHER never was very good at sharing.
RED: I've noticed. But… hey! You could get me the ladder!
CINDERELLA: I could. But what's in it for me?
RED: Huh?
CINDERELLA: If I get you the ladder, you have to do me a favor.
RED: Well, why not. Today seems to be my day to do good deeds.
CINDERELLA: Can you help me get out of here to get to the King's Ball?
RED: Why would you want to go there?
CINDERELLA: The Ball is for his sons to meet single women from the kingdom and choose one of them as his bride.
RED: So?
CINDERELLA: If I don't marry one of those Princes, I'll be stuck serving them forever! I have to marry one of them!
RED: I see your point. All right, here's what we'll do- I'll distract your STEPMOTHER and STEPSISTERS while you get changed and grab the stepladder.
CINDERELLA runs off while RED approaches STEPMOTHER.
RED: Hi again.
STEPMOTHER: What do you want?
RED: Well, the ladder would be nice but since you've been less than gracious with it, I thought I'd just stop by and warn you about the WOLF that's been seen around here.
The WOLF sneaks onto the stage.
STEPSISTER 1: A WOLF?
RED: Yeah, a big one.
STEPSISTER 2: Where?
RED: I saw one dash back into the woods a few minutes ago.
STEPMOTHER: I'm not afraid of any old WOLF.
STEPSISTERS: We are!
WOLF: As you should be!
The WOLF chases them around the stage for a few minutes. In the confusion, CINDERELLA sneaks out off the stage, wearing a gown and holding a ladder. The STEPMOTHER slips an apple into RED's basket before they all run off the stage. RED backs onto the stage, looking around fearfully when CINDERELLA approaches her from the other side.
CINDERELLA: Hey.
RED: AHHHHH! Oh, sheesh, don't sneak up on someone who's just finished being chased around by a big bad WOLF!
CINDERELLA: Sorry.
RED: It's okay. All right, you got the ladder. Let's get to the tower! Nice dress, by the way. (both exit)