*This is it, the end. I'm glad those of you who reviewed liked it so much,
I enjoyed writing it despite the dark theme of it. Please don't forget that
things like this happen all the time. A person you could never imagine to
cut could be doing it and you're not seeing it. So if you ever notice
anything strange with a friend, don't be afraid to ask. You could save
their life.*
Reviewers: Cherry Jade, sweet-captor, amber-eyez, & Kikakai
Every New Day
Sakura screamed again as another contraction ripped through her body. It had been eight months since Syaoran had died, and through those months Sakura grew larger and larger. Today was the day their child would be born into the world. Without Syaoran.
'You're already halfway there to being an orphan.' Sakura thought miserably, letting out another pain filled scream. The doctor coached her to push again, and Sakura bore down and tried her hardest.
"One more . . . " the doctor ordered. Sakura flopped back against the bed, exhausted. She couldn't seem to get herself to go the distance; she wasn't strong enough to have this child alone. The doctor yelled at Sakura to push, and Sakura shoved with all her might.
Silence. Then the sound of crying filled the room as the doctor pulled out a sticky pink baby and wrapped it in a towel. Sakura, covered in sweat, fell back against the pillow with exhaustion.
"It's a boy." The doctor announced, handing Sakura a tightly wrapped child who was bawling loudly. Sakura felt the tears slide down her cheeks as she accepted the baby, looking him over for the first time. He had unruly chestnut hair like Syaoran's, and emerald colored eyes that looked up at Sakura for a moment before closing.
"Oh my gosh . . . " Sakura murmured, touching the tiny baby's face with her fingertips.
"Little boy . . . I'm so sorry your daddy isn't here to see you. He would have been so proud of you, you look so strong. I'm so sorry you're going to miss out on all the things he could have taught you." Sakura said wearily. The baby opened his eyes, staring up at Sakura curiously.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Miss, but have you decided on a name?" the nurse asked. Sakura shook her head, and the nurse scribbled down 'baby boy Kinomoto' on a piece of paper, putting it on the bassinet before leaving.
"Wait." Sakura called.
Syaoran Hunter Li was born on the 18th of March at 9:27 PM. He weighed six pounds even and was small but mighty. Before Sakura knew it, they were released from the hospital and heading home to start a new life.
Sakura hadn't been able to graduate high school because of her pregnancy, and her first goal was to go back to school and get her GED. After her six week maternity leave, Sakura tried to go back to high school and finish, but found herself working too much to make the grades so she was forced to drop out.
Life began to take on a routine, starting at six in the morning. Sakura would wake to Syaoran's crying and feed him breakfast. After that Sakura washed Syaoran, changed his diaper, and got him ready to spend the day at the sitters. Sakura took a very quick shower and tied her hair up in a ponytail after scrambling into some clothes. By seven thirty the two of them were ready and out the door.
"Be a good little boy for mommy today, Syao." Sakura said, kissing her two month old on the forehead. Syaoran scowled back, making Sakura smile sadly. He did that a lot as he was growing, and Sakura knew he was taking on the personality of his father. God, how she missed that man.
After that Sakura headed to her job at a small restaurant on the corner of a busy street. A double shift of waiting tables filled with ungrateful patrons left Sakura feeling emotionally drained and pretty much miserable. At the end of the day Sakura would trudge back to the sitter and pick up Syaoran.
Picking up her son was the one thing Sakura found to numb the pain from a long day. He would cuddle up to her, and the warmth from his smile always made the day's troubles melt away. Sakura would bring him home, play with him until he was tired, then put him to bed to prepare for another day just like the last. When Syaoran was soundly asleep, it was time for Sakura to budget her money for the next month.
"Stupid electric bill . . . does it have to go up every month?" Sakura said to herself, scowling as she tapped numbers into her calculator.
"Blast . . . I'm going to have to work double shifts for four days a week just to make ends meet." Sakura growled. She put her hand on her forehead, letting her eyes close as she tried to think. What was she going to do? She couldn't work like that for too long, she'd surely collapse from exhaustion.
'You know, Syaoran, it would help if you didn't have to die. If you would have just held on for a little while longer, we could be raising Syaoran together, we'd be happy. But no, you had to just take off and die. Well what about me? Am I not allowed to have a break?' Sakura thought bitterly. She stood and walked to the kitchen, grabbing the first knife she could find.
"I hate you, Syaoran Li." Sakura hissed, staring up at the ceiling. She took the knife and dragged it across the pale skin of her arm, letting the blood run freely down her arm.
"God that feels good. Syaoran, why didn't you tell me it felt this good? I would have done this a year ago." Sakura sighed. She stared at the blood on her arm, how it flowed freely down and pattered against the floor.
Free. Sakura wasn't nearly as free as the blood she'd spilled, and she desired that more than anything. Thoughts of killing herself welled in her mind like a flood, the ache in her heart for the carefree nature of death hovering over her like a cloud. Syaoran's hungry cry from his nursery jarred Sakura from her thoughts, and she got up and washed the blood off her arm, wrapping it in a towel.
"Shhh Syaoran. Mommy's here." Sakura whispered, picking up the small infant gently and putting a bottle in his open mouth. Syaoran sucked down the warm liquid, his eyes becoming heavy as sleep took him once again. Sakura put him back in bed, covering him with a blanket.
'Could I even think of leaving you?' Sakura thought. Immediately, options floated through her mind. She could leave Syaoran with Tomoyo and Eriol. They were engaged, and wouldn't mind raising Syaoran as their own. She could leave him with her father, but he was incredibly busy himself. Touya was in another country, making him an unlikely candidate to take the child.
'I know just the place for you. It's perfect for you, little man.' Sakura thought, walking out of the room and into her own. She flopped down on her bed and quickly fell asleep.
Morning came, and Sakura started the day in the normal routine. She fed and washed Syaoran, changed his clothes, and got ready herself. The plan started to change, however, when Sakura packed all of Syaoran's baby clothes in a big bag and took him onto the bus, riding past the sitter's toward the other end of town.
"Sakura?" Tomoyo asked sleepily when she opened the door. Sakura nodded, holding Syaoran in her arms. Tomoyo motioned for Sakura to walk inside, but she shook her head.
"I can't stay. I need you to do something for me. Send Syaoran to Yelan for me please. I enclosed some money and a letter in this envelope. I can't stay." Sakura blurted, handing Syaoran to Eriol, who appeared behind Tomoyo with a confused look on his sleepy face.
"Okay, Sakura. Is everything alright?" Tomoyo asked. Sakura shook her head and set Syaoran's clothes on the floor inside the apartment. She kissed her son's forehead tenderly before turning and walking away.
"Oh shit, Tomoyo she's going to kill herself!" Eriol cried, showing Tomoyo the note Sakura had left with some money. Tomoyo tried to chase Sakura down, but she was already on the bus and gone.
"No . . . oh no no no!" Tomoyo whispered, rushing back to the apartment where Eriol was cradling Syaoran.
Inside Sakura's apartment, Sakura sat in bed, the knife in her hands. She'd been thinking about it all night, and this was the only way she knew to end the pain quickly.
"I'm so sorry baby." Sakura whispered. She drew the knife across her right wrist, hissing in pain for a moment, then sighing in ecstasy as the blood began to pour out.
"I'll be there soon, Syao." Sakura whispered, slicing the other wrist. The deep cuts oozed blood fast, soaking into the sheets. She looked around as she waited to die, noticing how similar the scenario was to Syaoran's suicide. The blood on the white linens. The feeling of drowning he felt. Sakura was seeing it all; she was feeling it all. Darkness started to take over Sakura as she lost more blood, and before she could do anything else, she blacked out.
Tomoyo and Eriol sprinted up the stairs to Sakura's room, carrying Syaoran with them. Eriol broke down the door and rushed to the bedroom where he found Sakura lying in her own blood.
"Oh God no!" Tomoyo screamed, falling to her knees at the sight of her friend. Sakura's skin was milk white, her blood spilled on the sheets around her. Eyes closed, Sakura looked as if she were sleeping in bed. Eriol touched Sakura's neck with his fingers, then let them fall to his side.
"She's not dead." Tomoyo muttered. Eriol turned and looked at Tomoyo with grief stricken eyes.
"SHE'S NOT DEAD, DAMMIT!" Tomoyo screamed. Syaoran began to bawl with fear as Tomoyo sobbed uncontrollably in Eriol's arms. It was over; Sakura had killed herself.
Sakura was buried beside Syaoran almost a year after he had been buried himself. Yelan stood beside Sakura's grave, her grandson in hand. She would do as Sakura asked in her letter and raise Syaoran to be the next leader of the Li Clan. Tears welled up in the aging woman's eyes as she realized that she had not only outlived her son, but the woman who had given her a grandson.
Tomoyo stood with Eriol, her eyes red and bloodshot. The shock had worn off quickly, replaced with guilt and melancholy. Sakura had apologized in her letter for doing something so selfish before Tomoyo's wedding, making her feel even more badly. Now she stood with her fiancée, letting him hold her in his arms as he stared solemnly at the hole in the ground.
As soon as it had began it was over. Sakura was buried and gone, her body resting for eternity beside her only love's. Life went on, people aged. Little Syaoran grew up to be a successful leader of the Li Clan, one of the best leaders the Clan had known. He visited the graves of his parents after his grandmother told him the story of their lives. Now twenty three, Syaoran was visiting his parents once again.
"Hi Mom. Hi Dad. It's Syaoran." Syaoran said. He places roses on the worn gravestones, touching the letters gently with his fingers. Sad emerald eyes looked down at his parents' resting place, and he ran a hand through his messy brown hair.
"I came today to tell you I'm getting married. Her name is Charisma, and she's perfect. I've never been more in love in my life. I wish you two were here, but I understand why you're not." Syaoran whispered. The wind blew through the bare trees, cooling his face as it blew through his unruly locks.
"I just wanted to say that I love you, even though I never knew you. I want you to know that I'm doing well, I'm making you proud. I love you guys." Syaoran declared, his voice choking with emotion. In the distance, Eriol and Tomoyo's only child watched, her violet eyes welling with tears. Syaoran turned around and walked away from the graves, toward the raven haired girl.
"Charisma, I'd like you to meet my parents." Syaoran whispered, leading the woman toward the graves.
*The end. I hope you liked it, I know you all probably didn't, but that's what happens. Please send a review, I would appreciate it greatly if you would! Thanks!*
Reviewers: Cherry Jade, sweet-captor, amber-eyez, & Kikakai
Every New Day
Sakura screamed again as another contraction ripped through her body. It had been eight months since Syaoran had died, and through those months Sakura grew larger and larger. Today was the day their child would be born into the world. Without Syaoran.
'You're already halfway there to being an orphan.' Sakura thought miserably, letting out another pain filled scream. The doctor coached her to push again, and Sakura bore down and tried her hardest.
"One more . . . " the doctor ordered. Sakura flopped back against the bed, exhausted. She couldn't seem to get herself to go the distance; she wasn't strong enough to have this child alone. The doctor yelled at Sakura to push, and Sakura shoved with all her might.
Silence. Then the sound of crying filled the room as the doctor pulled out a sticky pink baby and wrapped it in a towel. Sakura, covered in sweat, fell back against the pillow with exhaustion.
"It's a boy." The doctor announced, handing Sakura a tightly wrapped child who was bawling loudly. Sakura felt the tears slide down her cheeks as she accepted the baby, looking him over for the first time. He had unruly chestnut hair like Syaoran's, and emerald colored eyes that looked up at Sakura for a moment before closing.
"Oh my gosh . . . " Sakura murmured, touching the tiny baby's face with her fingertips.
"Little boy . . . I'm so sorry your daddy isn't here to see you. He would have been so proud of you, you look so strong. I'm so sorry you're going to miss out on all the things he could have taught you." Sakura said wearily. The baby opened his eyes, staring up at Sakura curiously.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Miss, but have you decided on a name?" the nurse asked. Sakura shook her head, and the nurse scribbled down 'baby boy Kinomoto' on a piece of paper, putting it on the bassinet before leaving.
"Wait." Sakura called.
Syaoran Hunter Li was born on the 18th of March at 9:27 PM. He weighed six pounds even and was small but mighty. Before Sakura knew it, they were released from the hospital and heading home to start a new life.
Sakura hadn't been able to graduate high school because of her pregnancy, and her first goal was to go back to school and get her GED. After her six week maternity leave, Sakura tried to go back to high school and finish, but found herself working too much to make the grades so she was forced to drop out.
Life began to take on a routine, starting at six in the morning. Sakura would wake to Syaoran's crying and feed him breakfast. After that Sakura washed Syaoran, changed his diaper, and got him ready to spend the day at the sitters. Sakura took a very quick shower and tied her hair up in a ponytail after scrambling into some clothes. By seven thirty the two of them were ready and out the door.
"Be a good little boy for mommy today, Syao." Sakura said, kissing her two month old on the forehead. Syaoran scowled back, making Sakura smile sadly. He did that a lot as he was growing, and Sakura knew he was taking on the personality of his father. God, how she missed that man.
After that Sakura headed to her job at a small restaurant on the corner of a busy street. A double shift of waiting tables filled with ungrateful patrons left Sakura feeling emotionally drained and pretty much miserable. At the end of the day Sakura would trudge back to the sitter and pick up Syaoran.
Picking up her son was the one thing Sakura found to numb the pain from a long day. He would cuddle up to her, and the warmth from his smile always made the day's troubles melt away. Sakura would bring him home, play with him until he was tired, then put him to bed to prepare for another day just like the last. When Syaoran was soundly asleep, it was time for Sakura to budget her money for the next month.
"Stupid electric bill . . . does it have to go up every month?" Sakura said to herself, scowling as she tapped numbers into her calculator.
"Blast . . . I'm going to have to work double shifts for four days a week just to make ends meet." Sakura growled. She put her hand on her forehead, letting her eyes close as she tried to think. What was she going to do? She couldn't work like that for too long, she'd surely collapse from exhaustion.
'You know, Syaoran, it would help if you didn't have to die. If you would have just held on for a little while longer, we could be raising Syaoran together, we'd be happy. But no, you had to just take off and die. Well what about me? Am I not allowed to have a break?' Sakura thought bitterly. She stood and walked to the kitchen, grabbing the first knife she could find.
"I hate you, Syaoran Li." Sakura hissed, staring up at the ceiling. She took the knife and dragged it across the pale skin of her arm, letting the blood run freely down her arm.
"God that feels good. Syaoran, why didn't you tell me it felt this good? I would have done this a year ago." Sakura sighed. She stared at the blood on her arm, how it flowed freely down and pattered against the floor.
Free. Sakura wasn't nearly as free as the blood she'd spilled, and she desired that more than anything. Thoughts of killing herself welled in her mind like a flood, the ache in her heart for the carefree nature of death hovering over her like a cloud. Syaoran's hungry cry from his nursery jarred Sakura from her thoughts, and she got up and washed the blood off her arm, wrapping it in a towel.
"Shhh Syaoran. Mommy's here." Sakura whispered, picking up the small infant gently and putting a bottle in his open mouth. Syaoran sucked down the warm liquid, his eyes becoming heavy as sleep took him once again. Sakura put him back in bed, covering him with a blanket.
'Could I even think of leaving you?' Sakura thought. Immediately, options floated through her mind. She could leave Syaoran with Tomoyo and Eriol. They were engaged, and wouldn't mind raising Syaoran as their own. She could leave him with her father, but he was incredibly busy himself. Touya was in another country, making him an unlikely candidate to take the child.
'I know just the place for you. It's perfect for you, little man.' Sakura thought, walking out of the room and into her own. She flopped down on her bed and quickly fell asleep.
Morning came, and Sakura started the day in the normal routine. She fed and washed Syaoran, changed his clothes, and got ready herself. The plan started to change, however, when Sakura packed all of Syaoran's baby clothes in a big bag and took him onto the bus, riding past the sitter's toward the other end of town.
"Sakura?" Tomoyo asked sleepily when she opened the door. Sakura nodded, holding Syaoran in her arms. Tomoyo motioned for Sakura to walk inside, but she shook her head.
"I can't stay. I need you to do something for me. Send Syaoran to Yelan for me please. I enclosed some money and a letter in this envelope. I can't stay." Sakura blurted, handing Syaoran to Eriol, who appeared behind Tomoyo with a confused look on his sleepy face.
"Okay, Sakura. Is everything alright?" Tomoyo asked. Sakura shook her head and set Syaoran's clothes on the floor inside the apartment. She kissed her son's forehead tenderly before turning and walking away.
"Oh shit, Tomoyo she's going to kill herself!" Eriol cried, showing Tomoyo the note Sakura had left with some money. Tomoyo tried to chase Sakura down, but she was already on the bus and gone.
"No . . . oh no no no!" Tomoyo whispered, rushing back to the apartment where Eriol was cradling Syaoran.
Inside Sakura's apartment, Sakura sat in bed, the knife in her hands. She'd been thinking about it all night, and this was the only way she knew to end the pain quickly.
"I'm so sorry baby." Sakura whispered. She drew the knife across her right wrist, hissing in pain for a moment, then sighing in ecstasy as the blood began to pour out.
"I'll be there soon, Syao." Sakura whispered, slicing the other wrist. The deep cuts oozed blood fast, soaking into the sheets. She looked around as she waited to die, noticing how similar the scenario was to Syaoran's suicide. The blood on the white linens. The feeling of drowning he felt. Sakura was seeing it all; she was feeling it all. Darkness started to take over Sakura as she lost more blood, and before she could do anything else, she blacked out.
Tomoyo and Eriol sprinted up the stairs to Sakura's room, carrying Syaoran with them. Eriol broke down the door and rushed to the bedroom where he found Sakura lying in her own blood.
"Oh God no!" Tomoyo screamed, falling to her knees at the sight of her friend. Sakura's skin was milk white, her blood spilled on the sheets around her. Eyes closed, Sakura looked as if she were sleeping in bed. Eriol touched Sakura's neck with his fingers, then let them fall to his side.
"She's not dead." Tomoyo muttered. Eriol turned and looked at Tomoyo with grief stricken eyes.
"SHE'S NOT DEAD, DAMMIT!" Tomoyo screamed. Syaoran began to bawl with fear as Tomoyo sobbed uncontrollably in Eriol's arms. It was over; Sakura had killed herself.
Sakura was buried beside Syaoran almost a year after he had been buried himself. Yelan stood beside Sakura's grave, her grandson in hand. She would do as Sakura asked in her letter and raise Syaoran to be the next leader of the Li Clan. Tears welled up in the aging woman's eyes as she realized that she had not only outlived her son, but the woman who had given her a grandson.
Tomoyo stood with Eriol, her eyes red and bloodshot. The shock had worn off quickly, replaced with guilt and melancholy. Sakura had apologized in her letter for doing something so selfish before Tomoyo's wedding, making her feel even more badly. Now she stood with her fiancée, letting him hold her in his arms as he stared solemnly at the hole in the ground.
As soon as it had began it was over. Sakura was buried and gone, her body resting for eternity beside her only love's. Life went on, people aged. Little Syaoran grew up to be a successful leader of the Li Clan, one of the best leaders the Clan had known. He visited the graves of his parents after his grandmother told him the story of their lives. Now twenty three, Syaoran was visiting his parents once again.
"Hi Mom. Hi Dad. It's Syaoran." Syaoran said. He places roses on the worn gravestones, touching the letters gently with his fingers. Sad emerald eyes looked down at his parents' resting place, and he ran a hand through his messy brown hair.
"I came today to tell you I'm getting married. Her name is Charisma, and she's perfect. I've never been more in love in my life. I wish you two were here, but I understand why you're not." Syaoran whispered. The wind blew through the bare trees, cooling his face as it blew through his unruly locks.
"I just wanted to say that I love you, even though I never knew you. I want you to know that I'm doing well, I'm making you proud. I love you guys." Syaoran declared, his voice choking with emotion. In the distance, Eriol and Tomoyo's only child watched, her violet eyes welling with tears. Syaoran turned around and walked away from the graves, toward the raven haired girl.
"Charisma, I'd like you to meet my parents." Syaoran whispered, leading the woman toward the graves.
*The end. I hope you liked it, I know you all probably didn't, but that's what happens. Please send a review, I would appreciate it greatly if you would! Thanks!*