Act II scene iii

CINDERELLA rushes onto the stage and drops down near SNOW WHITE, not noticing her at all.

CINDERELLA:           Just when I thought all my dreams were about to come true.  I got rescued from my wicked STEPMOTHER and STEPSISTERS.  I met a dashing prince… hehe, PRINCE DASHING.  And he really seemed to like me!  Then, my family shows up and ruins everything!  Can things possible get any worse? (sees SNOW WHITE and sighs)  That was a rhetorical question!  Geez, why does someone have be comatose where I decide to rest from running?  Wake up! (starts to shake SNOW WHITE.  DASHING and CHARMING arrive and watch CINDERELLA, who looks up at them sheepishly.)  Uh… hi…

CHARMING:              What are you doing to her?

CINDERELLA:           Uh, rocking her to sleep?  Oh, look… you brought my ladder…

DASHING:                  Forget about that!  Why did you run away like that?  Was I THAT bad a dancer?

CINDERELLA:           No, of course not!

DASHING:                  Then what?

CINDERELLA:           I suppose I should tell you that I've spent my entire life as a slave to my STEPMOTHER and SISTERS… I ran away from them earlier today.  I saw them at the Ball and panicked.

DASHING:                  I see.  That's simple enough to take care of.  I'll banish them from the land!

CINDERELLA:           Just like that?

DASHING:                  Just like that.

CINDERELLA:           It's good to be the PRINCE.

DASHING:                  You know, being a princess has its perks, too.

CINDERELLA:           Me? A princess?

DASHING:                  Sure.

CINDERELLA:           But… to be a princess, I'd have to marry a prince.

DASHING:                  That's kind of what I was going for, actually.

CINDERELLA:           Did you just ask me to marry you?

DASHING:                  Yeah, I think so.

CINDERELLA:           But I just met you two scenes ago!

DASHING:                  And it's been great so far, hasn't it?

CINDERELLA:           All right, you've convinced me!  Let's get married!

DASHING:                  Now?

CINDERELLA:           Why not?

CHARMING:              Because we need to wake her up, that's why not!

DASHING:                  Who's she?

CHARMING:              The fairest maiden in all the land!

DASH and CINDER:   If you say so…

CHARMING:              When she wakes up, I'll make her my bride!  We'll have a double wedding!

CINDERELLA:           How do we wake her?

CHARMING:              A kiss!

DASHING:                  A kiss?

CHARMING:              No woman can sleep through one of my kisses.

CINDERELLA:           Really?

DASHING:                  It's true.  Though, they usually run screaming once they're up…

CHARMING leans down and kisses SNOW WHITE, who sits straight up, knocking CHARMING over.

SNOW WHITE:          What's going on?  Who are you?

CHARMING:              CHARMING.

SNOW WHITE:          Apparently.

CHARMING:              No that's my name.  PRINCE CHARMING.

SNOW WHITE:          I thought we were done with the name gags.

CHARMING:              What's your name?

SNOW WHITE:          It's SNOW WHITE but if I hear one comment about my complexion you'll be called Black Eye!

DASHING:                  What a woman!

CHARMING:              Isn't she the greatest?  SNOW WHITE, marry me!

SNOW WHITE:          (Jeopardy theme)  You're kidding me, right?

CINDERELLA:           These PRINCES sure move fast, don't they?

CHARMING:              Will you?

SNOW WHITE:          Oh, all right.  It's the least I can do since you woke me.

RED arrives just then to splash the two happy couples with a large bucket of water.

RED:                            Oh… you're awake…