Where My Heart Sings
Author: Isilaráto
Disclaimer: 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Sailor Moon' are property of their respective owners. I make no claim of ownership. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: The heart sings when it returns to the home it had been parted from so long ago…
Status: Complete
Part: 1/1
Note: Please be kind everyone! This is my first attempt at writing a crossover.
Enjoy!
The view before me is a wondrous thing to behold. This crystal city, forged by the silver light of another crystal, has been called the greatest piece of art ever to be created. They say there is nothing that can surpass its beauty. Made by the hands of the nine beautiful women and a handsome man, this city is their legacy, their everlasting gift to the world.
I turn away, sighing softly. My heart aches as I remember the days of forming Crystal Tokyo. I remember feeling their thoughts, their spirits, all entwined with my own. But gone are those who also felt it.
They're all gone. My beloved Senshi, my daughter, Endymion… by now, they have all faded into the mists of legend. People tell their children about them through bedtime stories. They speak of the valiant Senshi, the handsome King, his beautiful Queen, and their precious daughter. How they lived and ruled well together, and when they died, how the Queen nobly carried on to the next stage of what Destiny had planned for her, leaving behind those she loved most.
Damn Destiny. When Destiny meddles in a person's life, they are cursed for all of their lives. I should know. As did Endymion. He knew because he was there that day. The day when Pluto came to both destroy me and give me hope…
It was early in the reign of Crystal Tokyo. Small Lady hadn't even been born at the time. The world was still quite unstable due to the effects of the Great Sleep, and so earthquakes, hurricanes, and a host of other disasters wracked the planet. In an earthquake that nearly sent Japan to the bottom of the ocean, nearly half of Crystal Tokyo was destroyed, and with it, almost a quarter of the population. My parents and brother included.
I was devastated. My parents and Shingo were gone. The last true representation of my childhood had been cruelly ripped from my grasp. My parents would never again see their granddaughter, nor would I ever see Shingo grow to have a family of his own.
Any semblance of innocence that I had left in me was stolen that day. I became a bit of an automaton after that. It frightened Endymion and the Senshi, they had never seen me behave in such a manner. In the past, it was I who never gave up hope, no matter how bleak the situation. But here I was, continuing my duties, comforting the survivors of the disaster, burying my grief in the deepest shadows of my heart.
Months passed like that, until I could go on no longer. I grew weaker and weaker as each day passed me by. I soon grew so feeble that I could not rise from my bed. Hotaru did her best to heal me, until she resorted to begging, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Rei, alternately, berated me harshly, calling me selfish for giving up, that I should think of Endymion and Small Lady. But I just lay there, my eyes closed, tears leaking past my lids. I just… stopped.
Then, late one night, as Endymion dozed by our bed, Pluto stepped out of the shadows. I don't know how I knew it was her, as I hadn't opened my eyes in days. But I somehow knew that she had entered the room. My eyes, stiff from being shut for so long, drifted open to see her standing at the foot of the bed.
The first impression that I had was that the grip she held on the Time Staff was unusually tight. My gaze then drifted to her face and I was astounded. Gone was the neutral, calm expression that I had almost always seen from her. Now, her ruby eyes were glassy in the light provided by the nearby fire, her lips pressed together tightly. Her face was a mask of… guilt?
Softly, I whispered her name. She jumped and our eyes locked. They held for a moment until she ended it by moving towards Endymion. Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, she carefully shook him.
His dark blue eyes shot open and he looked up at her blinkingly. "Setsuna," he said, shifting in his chair. "Why have you of come?"
She did not answer him. Instead, she returned her gaze to mine. And she stood there. Breathily, I whispered her name again.
Faintly, I heard Endymion gasp. He had not heard me speak in days, if not weeks. Pluto bit her lip, then seemed to nod slightly. Turning to Endymion, she ordered, "Take her up, Majesty. There is something I must show her. Come."
Endymion appeared to want to argue, but I weakly waved my hand in his direction, hoping he would get the message. He must have, because he said nothing more, instead just lifting me securely into my arms. When he turned to Pluto, he found the Time Gate opening its massive doors.
Pluto strode through, not bothering to look back. Endymion sighed tiredly, but followed.
For a moment, we both felt the sense of feeling weightless before we found us in the fog-shrouded area where Pluto stood guard. Planting his feet but a few yards from the doors, Endymion demanded, "Pluto, explain yourself. Serenity is ill. She doesn't need to be constantly moved around. It could make her worse."
Pluto shrugged, then replied. "What I am about to show her just might give her back something she has lost, my King. There is still much for her to endure in the future. You know this as well as I. Perhaps this will restore the hope that died with the Tsukinos."
She said no more, merely raising the Time Staff and muttering something I did not recognize. The Time Gate responded immediately, letting forth a great burst of light.
And my mind exploded. Images raced through my mind. Faces, places, knowledge that I had known very well, once upon a time.
I saw a family in a bedroom of some sort. A woman, beautiful and radiant, was lying in a bed, holding a small bundle to her breast. A tall man… no he was not a man, nor was she a woman… they were *elves!* The pointed tips of their ears indicated this, much to my amazement. The male stood knelt next to the female, a look of pride in his eyes. And three others on the opposite side of the bed. Two males, most definitely younger than the other though still grown. Both had large, shining grins on their handsome faces. And the last figure, a female, exquisite in her awesome beauty, was smiling contentedly.
Other images flew through my thoughts, singing a different message to me. I saw someone who appeared to be myself as a very young child, though my ears were pointed as the others. I was smiling happily as I raced down the hall of some sort of building. Suddenly, the young me tripped over a slight irregularity in the marble floor and toppled to the floor, bruising my knee. As the little girl cried, a shadow appeared over her crumpled form. Strong arms lifted her up and cradled her close. And at the same moment the little version of me looked up, I did the same. And there was the male elf from the earlier scene.
Slowly, a watery smile blossomed on my past self's face. One word came out of her mouth. One word that echoed through the Time Gate and has reverberated in my own mind ever since.
"Ada!"
Ada. A word that should have been nothing but gibberish to me, was actually a remark so dear to my soul that I have clung to it. In my darkest hours, it is perhaps the only thing that has kept me alive. Though it is a word in a language that no one in Crystal Tokyo would ever recognize, I know its treasured meaning. Ada. Papa.
Other names flooded my mind. Arwen. Elladan. Elrohir. My siblings. All born before me. Arwen toting me about our home as if I were her own child. Elladan bouncing me on his shoulders. Elrohir holding me quietly, seeming at a loss as to what to do with me, and yet loving me all the same. Grandmother and Grandfather. The Lord and Lady of Lothlórien. I recall being afraid of the power that radiated from their forms, burying my face in Ada's shoulder, clinging to him. Nana. Mama, who sang me to sleep nearly every night.
Still, the most special of them all was Ada. Nana treasured each of her four children, but it was Ada who made me feel unique. His brown eyes, wise, stern, and yet gentle as a lamb at the same time. He showered us all with love, thoroughly spoiling us.
But to all things, there is an end…
I remember when the tall woman came. Ada and I were in his study, he dealing with his own important affairs and I working on the compositions he had assigned me to do. When she appeared, I remember seeing Ada's eyes widening in… was that fear I beheld in them? Almost immediately, I dismissed the notion. My ada was, in my eyes, the mightiest of Elves. He'd fought against the Cursed One, the evil of Mordor. No one had ever defeated him. Why would he fear anyone?
Quietly, he told me to find Nana and tell her to join him quickly. I did not question him, sensing something about the strange woman that eyed me with emotions I could not discern. She frightened me far more than my grandparents ever did. So, I hurried out of the room, leaving Ada to either welcome the lady or banish her. I was all for the latter, in all honesty.
That night, my world began to crumble around me. My rooms were next to those of Ada and Nana, as I was still quite young and had frequent nightmares. They had yet to move me to my own permanent rooms like Arwen or the twins.
"No! I will not allow it!"
I remember waking to those words, shouted in the gravest of anger. I remember the shock of such heat coming from my nana. She never used that tone with anyone.
"Celebrían, Senshi Pluto says Elissien is crucial-"
"I care not, *hir-nin.* My daughter is no warrior. I will not throw her to the four winds merely at the words of a woman I have never trusted. My child goes no where!"
For a moment, no sound came from Ada and Nana's room. The silence, however, was not reassuring. Just as I was drifting into the Dream World, I believe I heard their voices again. They spoke in quieter tones, though the anger and pain of earlier had not dissipated. But I never knew what they spoke of to one another in those hours.
The next morning, the destruction was completed. Ada insisted that our breakfast be a private one, consisting only of Nana, Arwen, Elladan, Elrohir, me, and himself. Midway through the meal, Ada, his face unusually emotionless and closed off, informed us of a change that would be occurring.
"Senshi Pluto will be leaving soon. Elissien, you will be accompanying her."
Stunned silence consumed the table. At first, I did not think much of it, believing that I was going with this 'Senshi Pluto' for a visit somewhere, like my siblings and I often did with Nana when we traveled to Lothlórien. I did not notice at the time the growing anger on faces of my older brothers, or the fleeting pain and panic on Arwen's.
Airily, I asked, "For how long? When shall I come home?"
I continued to eat the food before me, listening for Ada's response. After several moments, it did not come. Staying my hand that would continue to bring food to my mouth, I looked up to his place at the head of the table.
His fist sat on the table, clenched tightly, and his gray eyes were shut, his expression clearly showing his agony. I remember concern flaring up in my heart. I was about to ask what was wrong, when Ada finally spoke.
"You will be gone for a very long time, Elissien. I do not know when you will return."
I blinked, confusion overtaking me. I glanced at Nana, but her gaze remained glued to the table as she gripped her goblet tightly. My gaze swept back to Ada. "But…"
"You must do this, Elissien," he interrupted her, his eyes opening, revealing a coldness I had never seen directed at me. "You must accompany Senshi Pluto to this place she calls the Moon Kingdom. There, you will be welcomed as the Princess of that place. You will be known as the daughter of the Queen there, and must allow everyone to believe that this is so."
I said nothing, though I felt my blood run cold. I was being sent away. Ada was angry and did not want me to be his daughter anymore. I bit my lip, feeling hot tears spring in my eyes. "A-Ada," I whispered, my voice trembling, "D-Did I do something wrong?"
Ada did not have a chance to answer me. Nana let out a noise that sounded like both a moan and a sob as she reached over and whipped me into her lap. I clung to her as she wrapped her arms around me tightly. Nana's gown soaked up my tears just as surely as my own blond locks were becoming drenched in those of Nana's. Faintly, I could feel other arms slipping around me, enveloping me. Looking up slightly from the comfort of Nana's embrace, I could see Arwen, Elladan, and Elrohir gathered around us, each of them with tears of their own.
Looking past them, I saw that Ada had not moved from his chair. His eyes were fixed on something past us, though I could not see what. One emotion filled his gaze. Anger. Ada was very angry.
He pushed his chair back abruptly and brought himself to his feet. Walking towards the entrance to the dining hall, he barely spared us a glance as he said curtly, "Come."
None of us moved, at first. Nana's arms tightened around my still-trembling form when my siblings slowly backed away. Carefully, I could feel her standing up, but she did not let go of me. She carried me through the halls of Imladris as though I were a small babe again, my brothers and sister walking a half step behind us.
Nana carried me into the family's private gardens, a place that had always been a source of joy and happiness. Many a celebration had occurred there. But celebrations of old were far from everyone's thoughts.
When we arrived in the center of the clearing, Nana came to a halt. I then felt another set of hands come around me, pulling me gently away. I struggled feebly, not wanting to leave the safety of Nana's arms. I only stopped when I realized that it was Ada who now held me. Instinctively, I relaxed and tried to wrap my arms around his wider form.
But Ada did not allow this to occur. Gently, he knelt down and set me on my own two feet. I stared into his eyes, hoping to find the love and comfort I had always seen in them. Instead, I saw only the eyes of the Lord of Imladris. Ada was nowhere to be found.
"Remember that you are a Daughter of Imladris, the granddaughter of the Lady of Lothlórien. Destiny requires much of you, and you must follow its edict."
He did not give me a chance to reply, nor did he give any indication he saw the helpless tears that still leaked out of my blue eyes. Instead, he quickly took me by the shoulders and turned me around, gently pushing me forward. A few feet away, the woman that had appeared in Ada's office the night before stood there, carrying an unusual staff.
As I walked slowly towards her, our gazes locked. Her eyes were, to my surprise, a deep, dark red. They were emotionless.
And in that moment, the meaning of what was happening truly dawned in my mind. She was taking me away from an ada that no longer loved me. I had been bad, so she was taking me away.
I stopped, turned, and looked back. Nana was still crying, my brothers and sister clinging to her, trying to be of some comfort. Ada stood away from them, a few feet forward, his face a blank slate; he showed no sentiment.
Surprisingly, a wave of anger washed over my heart. Why was Ada sending me away? Why hadn't he told me I had been bad? There was no way for that question to be answered now. He no longer loved me. I should just accept that.
Turning back, I stalked forward and came up to Senshi Pluto. She calmly held out her hand to me and I took it without hesitation. I was resolved to trouble Ada no further.
Before we vanished, I managed to lock gazes with Ada one last time. I kept all pain from my face, instead showing my anger and feelings of betrayal. He was forcing me to leave Nana and my siblings. I would have him bear the burden of that knowledge forever.
It was then that the memory of that day ended, but the Time Gate saw fit to show me what occurred after Pluto and I vanished. Nana broke into even louder wails and her knees gave way. Only the strength of her sons and remaining daughter kept her on her feet.
But Ada had no such support. He himself sank to his knees, his dark eyes still riveted on where Pluto and I had stood, silent tears long held back now flowing down his smooth cheeks.
It was on that anguished expression that the Time Gate closed my view of what had happened so long ago. I did see a few brief flashes of Ada's face just before it shut itself. In almost every one of them, his eyes were severe, his gentle smile gone, the lines on his countenance more prominent. He looked haunted, to be frank.
After having all those memories flood my mind, it was a miracle I was still conscious. But once the Gate closed, the first thing I was aware of was a mockery of my own voice, letting out gut-wrenching sobs. Only one word could be distinguished through my hysterical tears.
"Ada."
I understood. The Senshi had always said that whenever I became Princess Serenity, there was something different about me. Something cold, ethereal, untouchable. I had always assumed that it came from the upbringing I had received on the Moon, the knowledge I contained. And, in a way, it was.
For the first hundred years that I lived on the Moon, I was cold and distant. I was angry at everyone. Ada, for sending me there. The Queen, for requiring a daughter as an heir to her precious throne. Pluto, who had hidden my pointed ears and had changed my white-blond hair, something I'd inherited from my mother's line, to more of a gold color. I despised that, as well as the fact that my blue eyes had been darkened. Pluto, in my eyes, was destroying Elissien Nimithil, the daughter of Elrond and Celebrían, to replace her with her own image of a girl who did not exist.
Yes, I understood. Serenity was not my identity from the Silver Millennium. Elissien Nimithil I had been born, and Elissien Nimithil I remained until the day Beryl destroyed the kingdom. Serenity was merely a disguise, a façade used for the sake of politics regarding the succession of the Moon Throne. It meant nothing to me.
Over time, I lost my anger towards Queen Serenity, even coming to call her Mother after a time. I know a part of her wished I would call her Mama, or something less formal, but Nana meant Mama in her language and I refused replace one woman with the other. I would not enact such a betrayal on the one who gave birth to me.
My Senshi knew nothing of my origins. They knew me only as the Princess they swore to protect and, later, as their treasured friend. I did not tell them either, for, by then, I had grown accustomed to keeping my silence of my home.
And so time passed. For two hundred more years, I lived in peace and contentment on the Moon, spending my time enjoying myself with the Senshi and learning statecraft with Mother.
But all that changed when, out of curiosity, I ventured down to Earth. But that is a story already told and well-known to many.
Now, where was I? My thoughts lead me down many roads when they are my only companions. Ah, yes, the aftermath of Pluto's revelations…
After the Time Gates shut, my pent-up emotions flooded forth. The agony of losing my parents and Shingo burst out of the walls I'd placed around it. Mingling with an old pain that had never truly healed.
And so, I wept in Endymion's arms, lamenting Fate's cruel hand.
It wasn't until after I had finally calmed that Pluto spoke to me. Endymion had curbed his questions in the face of my emotional collapse, comforting me as best he could. But when my tears stopped and my eyes fell yet again on the Senshi of Time, he turned to her as well.
Pluto knelt down in front of us, her dark eyes locked with mine. Softly, she spoke to me in Sindarin, my home language. The meaning of her words flowed through my mind like a river, soothing me.
"Fear not, Elissien Nimithil, daughter of Elrond. You will see Imladris and those you love before your time is gone. You will return home. This I swear."
So long ago, Pluto spoke those words to me, a healing balm on my weary and torn heart. Through what had been revealed, I was able to allow the memory of my parents and Shingo to rest in peace and carry on with my life. I was able to return to Crystal Tokyo and take up my duties as queen, as well as those of wife and friend.
Endymion and I discussed what Pluto had shown us at length, though we never told the rest of the Senshi. He had wanted to, but I never felt comfortable with the idea of telling them that I had not been born the daughter of Serenity. Though I knew it would change nothing in their eyes, I felt in my heart that this should remain between Pluto, Endymion, and myself. And so when Small Lady arrived, she only knew of her father's family, my parents, my brother, and Mother. I told her nothing of the grandparents, uncles, aunt, and hosts of other kin that still lay in both Middle-Earth and Valinor. I think, even then, I somehow sensed that my only child would not live to see them.
And now, as I have stated, all of them are gone. Even Pluto has succumbed to the eternal rest of death. My daughter, who should have inherited my own immortality, forsook it in the final stages of the Great War, the final sacrifice to be made for victory. As for Endymion, my dear, sweet husband, he himself fell in battle, saving me. And this is something I have borne with a great pain. I miss him terribly.
Time has passed, as it always does. It has been now five thousand years since Pluto took me from Imladris as a child. Many times have I died and been reborn since then, but deep inside my heart, I have never truly forgotten those I have left behind.
And now it is time I returned to them. For many years, I have stood watch over this place, protecting it from horrors it was not yet ready to see. Now, however, it is time for those who live here to stand on their own two feet and fight for what they love. I have played the hand Fate dealt me and won. Now I will collect my winnings. I am going home.
As I stand before the Time Gate, staring at the scene before me, I wonder if Ada will recognize me. No longer am I the little girl with the white blond hair and sparkling blue eyes of Nana's line. If anything, I have come to resemble Mother now with silver hair and grayish-lavender eyes. I know not if my looks will return to what they had once been, or if they are gone forever. And time, I have discovered, passes far more slowly there than it does here. For those in Middle-Earth, a mere fifteen hundred years have passed since my departure, a mere moment to my five thousand.
Hopefully, it will not matter. My heart calls to Ada. Perhaps he will hear the call and recognize it for what it truly is.
Without further thought, I step through the Gate-
-and see a white-hot light envelop me.
The next thing I see when my eyes open are a pair of dark eyes but a few feet away, staring at me. Eyes that are now familiar, though they were never truly forgotten. Emotions flitter through them. Wariness, suspicion, confusion, and a host of others that I do not believe I need to mention. One word slips from my parched lips.
"Ada…"
Said eyes widen, surprise, and then realization, coming through them, as well as hope and-dare I say it-joy.
"Elissien."
And not another second passes when Ada surges forwards and tugs me into his arms. He knows. He knows who I am. He recognizes me. Thank the Valar. My ada knows who I am, though I am different from the baby girl he once beheld.
I can hear him whispering my name and his love for me over and over in my ear. Closing my eyes, I clutch him even more tightly. Words alone could never express how much we love one another. But even as I listen to his attempts to do so, I know that it is still a wonderful thing to hear.
A warm, comforting feeling begins to spread in my heart. Already, the wounds inflicted so long ago are beginning to heal, right now when Ada merely holds me in his arms. Much will need to be said before the healing is completed, but for now, this is a start. And I am content for this moment.
I shan't ever forget those I knew. Mother, Endymion, Small Lady, the Senshi. I loved each and every one of them. But they always told me that they never wanted me to suffer the horrors of being alone for the rest of time.
I wonder if the Senshi knew of the family that I had left behind, though I never told them. Endymion… Could he have told them? Could he have told them of the family I was forced to abandon for the sake of Fate and Destiny's game? Or could it have been Pluto?
I doubt I shall ever know, but in the end, does it truly matter? They did not wish for me to be alone after they were gone, and now, I am not. I am safe back in the arms of the parent who loved me and tortured himself daily because he could not protect me. And he loves me still.
"Ada, I love you."
I felt his body shudder against mine. Was Ada crying? I felt wetness against my own cheeks. We were both crying. I did not care. I was in Ada's arms, where I belonged.
I felt one arm come around my shoulder and the other under my knees. As Ada carried me in the house, I rested my head against his shoulder, still not opening my eyes. Sleep was slowly overcoming me, and I made no move to fight against it. This would undoubtedly be the best sleep I'd had in years.
After all, a person sleeps best when they're in their home. And my heart was humming with sheer happiness and joy. I was home at last.
Please review! Let me know what you think! No flames please!
Isilaráto
Author: Isilaráto
Disclaimer: 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Sailor Moon' are property of their respective owners. I make no claim of ownership. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: The heart sings when it returns to the home it had been parted from so long ago…
Status: Complete
Part: 1/1
Note: Please be kind everyone! This is my first attempt at writing a crossover.
Enjoy!
The view before me is a wondrous thing to behold. This crystal city, forged by the silver light of another crystal, has been called the greatest piece of art ever to be created. They say there is nothing that can surpass its beauty. Made by the hands of the nine beautiful women and a handsome man, this city is their legacy, their everlasting gift to the world.
I turn away, sighing softly. My heart aches as I remember the days of forming Crystal Tokyo. I remember feeling their thoughts, their spirits, all entwined with my own. But gone are those who also felt it.
They're all gone. My beloved Senshi, my daughter, Endymion… by now, they have all faded into the mists of legend. People tell their children about them through bedtime stories. They speak of the valiant Senshi, the handsome King, his beautiful Queen, and their precious daughter. How they lived and ruled well together, and when they died, how the Queen nobly carried on to the next stage of what Destiny had planned for her, leaving behind those she loved most.
Damn Destiny. When Destiny meddles in a person's life, they are cursed for all of their lives. I should know. As did Endymion. He knew because he was there that day. The day when Pluto came to both destroy me and give me hope…
It was early in the reign of Crystal Tokyo. Small Lady hadn't even been born at the time. The world was still quite unstable due to the effects of the Great Sleep, and so earthquakes, hurricanes, and a host of other disasters wracked the planet. In an earthquake that nearly sent Japan to the bottom of the ocean, nearly half of Crystal Tokyo was destroyed, and with it, almost a quarter of the population. My parents and brother included.
I was devastated. My parents and Shingo were gone. The last true representation of my childhood had been cruelly ripped from my grasp. My parents would never again see their granddaughter, nor would I ever see Shingo grow to have a family of his own.
Any semblance of innocence that I had left in me was stolen that day. I became a bit of an automaton after that. It frightened Endymion and the Senshi, they had never seen me behave in such a manner. In the past, it was I who never gave up hope, no matter how bleak the situation. But here I was, continuing my duties, comforting the survivors of the disaster, burying my grief in the deepest shadows of my heart.
Months passed like that, until I could go on no longer. I grew weaker and weaker as each day passed me by. I soon grew so feeble that I could not rise from my bed. Hotaru did her best to heal me, until she resorted to begging, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Rei, alternately, berated me harshly, calling me selfish for giving up, that I should think of Endymion and Small Lady. But I just lay there, my eyes closed, tears leaking past my lids. I just… stopped.
Then, late one night, as Endymion dozed by our bed, Pluto stepped out of the shadows. I don't know how I knew it was her, as I hadn't opened my eyes in days. But I somehow knew that she had entered the room. My eyes, stiff from being shut for so long, drifted open to see her standing at the foot of the bed.
The first impression that I had was that the grip she held on the Time Staff was unusually tight. My gaze then drifted to her face and I was astounded. Gone was the neutral, calm expression that I had almost always seen from her. Now, her ruby eyes were glassy in the light provided by the nearby fire, her lips pressed together tightly. Her face was a mask of… guilt?
Softly, I whispered her name. She jumped and our eyes locked. They held for a moment until she ended it by moving towards Endymion. Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, she carefully shook him.
His dark blue eyes shot open and he looked up at her blinkingly. "Setsuna," he said, shifting in his chair. "Why have you of come?"
She did not answer him. Instead, she returned her gaze to mine. And she stood there. Breathily, I whispered her name again.
Faintly, I heard Endymion gasp. He had not heard me speak in days, if not weeks. Pluto bit her lip, then seemed to nod slightly. Turning to Endymion, she ordered, "Take her up, Majesty. There is something I must show her. Come."
Endymion appeared to want to argue, but I weakly waved my hand in his direction, hoping he would get the message. He must have, because he said nothing more, instead just lifting me securely into my arms. When he turned to Pluto, he found the Time Gate opening its massive doors.
Pluto strode through, not bothering to look back. Endymion sighed tiredly, but followed.
For a moment, we both felt the sense of feeling weightless before we found us in the fog-shrouded area where Pluto stood guard. Planting his feet but a few yards from the doors, Endymion demanded, "Pluto, explain yourself. Serenity is ill. She doesn't need to be constantly moved around. It could make her worse."
Pluto shrugged, then replied. "What I am about to show her just might give her back something she has lost, my King. There is still much for her to endure in the future. You know this as well as I. Perhaps this will restore the hope that died with the Tsukinos."
She said no more, merely raising the Time Staff and muttering something I did not recognize. The Time Gate responded immediately, letting forth a great burst of light.
And my mind exploded. Images raced through my mind. Faces, places, knowledge that I had known very well, once upon a time.
I saw a family in a bedroom of some sort. A woman, beautiful and radiant, was lying in a bed, holding a small bundle to her breast. A tall man… no he was not a man, nor was she a woman… they were *elves!* The pointed tips of their ears indicated this, much to my amazement. The male stood knelt next to the female, a look of pride in his eyes. And three others on the opposite side of the bed. Two males, most definitely younger than the other though still grown. Both had large, shining grins on their handsome faces. And the last figure, a female, exquisite in her awesome beauty, was smiling contentedly.
Other images flew through my thoughts, singing a different message to me. I saw someone who appeared to be myself as a very young child, though my ears were pointed as the others. I was smiling happily as I raced down the hall of some sort of building. Suddenly, the young me tripped over a slight irregularity in the marble floor and toppled to the floor, bruising my knee. As the little girl cried, a shadow appeared over her crumpled form. Strong arms lifted her up and cradled her close. And at the same moment the little version of me looked up, I did the same. And there was the male elf from the earlier scene.
Slowly, a watery smile blossomed on my past self's face. One word came out of her mouth. One word that echoed through the Time Gate and has reverberated in my own mind ever since.
"Ada!"
Ada. A word that should have been nothing but gibberish to me, was actually a remark so dear to my soul that I have clung to it. In my darkest hours, it is perhaps the only thing that has kept me alive. Though it is a word in a language that no one in Crystal Tokyo would ever recognize, I know its treasured meaning. Ada. Papa.
Other names flooded my mind. Arwen. Elladan. Elrohir. My siblings. All born before me. Arwen toting me about our home as if I were her own child. Elladan bouncing me on his shoulders. Elrohir holding me quietly, seeming at a loss as to what to do with me, and yet loving me all the same. Grandmother and Grandfather. The Lord and Lady of Lothlórien. I recall being afraid of the power that radiated from their forms, burying my face in Ada's shoulder, clinging to him. Nana. Mama, who sang me to sleep nearly every night.
Still, the most special of them all was Ada. Nana treasured each of her four children, but it was Ada who made me feel unique. His brown eyes, wise, stern, and yet gentle as a lamb at the same time. He showered us all with love, thoroughly spoiling us.
But to all things, there is an end…
I remember when the tall woman came. Ada and I were in his study, he dealing with his own important affairs and I working on the compositions he had assigned me to do. When she appeared, I remember seeing Ada's eyes widening in… was that fear I beheld in them? Almost immediately, I dismissed the notion. My ada was, in my eyes, the mightiest of Elves. He'd fought against the Cursed One, the evil of Mordor. No one had ever defeated him. Why would he fear anyone?
Quietly, he told me to find Nana and tell her to join him quickly. I did not question him, sensing something about the strange woman that eyed me with emotions I could not discern. She frightened me far more than my grandparents ever did. So, I hurried out of the room, leaving Ada to either welcome the lady or banish her. I was all for the latter, in all honesty.
That night, my world began to crumble around me. My rooms were next to those of Ada and Nana, as I was still quite young and had frequent nightmares. They had yet to move me to my own permanent rooms like Arwen or the twins.
"No! I will not allow it!"
I remember waking to those words, shouted in the gravest of anger. I remember the shock of such heat coming from my nana. She never used that tone with anyone.
"Celebrían, Senshi Pluto says Elissien is crucial-"
"I care not, *hir-nin.* My daughter is no warrior. I will not throw her to the four winds merely at the words of a woman I have never trusted. My child goes no where!"
For a moment, no sound came from Ada and Nana's room. The silence, however, was not reassuring. Just as I was drifting into the Dream World, I believe I heard their voices again. They spoke in quieter tones, though the anger and pain of earlier had not dissipated. But I never knew what they spoke of to one another in those hours.
The next morning, the destruction was completed. Ada insisted that our breakfast be a private one, consisting only of Nana, Arwen, Elladan, Elrohir, me, and himself. Midway through the meal, Ada, his face unusually emotionless and closed off, informed us of a change that would be occurring.
"Senshi Pluto will be leaving soon. Elissien, you will be accompanying her."
Stunned silence consumed the table. At first, I did not think much of it, believing that I was going with this 'Senshi Pluto' for a visit somewhere, like my siblings and I often did with Nana when we traveled to Lothlórien. I did not notice at the time the growing anger on faces of my older brothers, or the fleeting pain and panic on Arwen's.
Airily, I asked, "For how long? When shall I come home?"
I continued to eat the food before me, listening for Ada's response. After several moments, it did not come. Staying my hand that would continue to bring food to my mouth, I looked up to his place at the head of the table.
His fist sat on the table, clenched tightly, and his gray eyes were shut, his expression clearly showing his agony. I remember concern flaring up in my heart. I was about to ask what was wrong, when Ada finally spoke.
"You will be gone for a very long time, Elissien. I do not know when you will return."
I blinked, confusion overtaking me. I glanced at Nana, but her gaze remained glued to the table as she gripped her goblet tightly. My gaze swept back to Ada. "But…"
"You must do this, Elissien," he interrupted her, his eyes opening, revealing a coldness I had never seen directed at me. "You must accompany Senshi Pluto to this place she calls the Moon Kingdom. There, you will be welcomed as the Princess of that place. You will be known as the daughter of the Queen there, and must allow everyone to believe that this is so."
I said nothing, though I felt my blood run cold. I was being sent away. Ada was angry and did not want me to be his daughter anymore. I bit my lip, feeling hot tears spring in my eyes. "A-Ada," I whispered, my voice trembling, "D-Did I do something wrong?"
Ada did not have a chance to answer me. Nana let out a noise that sounded like both a moan and a sob as she reached over and whipped me into her lap. I clung to her as she wrapped her arms around me tightly. Nana's gown soaked up my tears just as surely as my own blond locks were becoming drenched in those of Nana's. Faintly, I could feel other arms slipping around me, enveloping me. Looking up slightly from the comfort of Nana's embrace, I could see Arwen, Elladan, and Elrohir gathered around us, each of them with tears of their own.
Looking past them, I saw that Ada had not moved from his chair. His eyes were fixed on something past us, though I could not see what. One emotion filled his gaze. Anger. Ada was very angry.
He pushed his chair back abruptly and brought himself to his feet. Walking towards the entrance to the dining hall, he barely spared us a glance as he said curtly, "Come."
None of us moved, at first. Nana's arms tightened around my still-trembling form when my siblings slowly backed away. Carefully, I could feel her standing up, but she did not let go of me. She carried me through the halls of Imladris as though I were a small babe again, my brothers and sister walking a half step behind us.
Nana carried me into the family's private gardens, a place that had always been a source of joy and happiness. Many a celebration had occurred there. But celebrations of old were far from everyone's thoughts.
When we arrived in the center of the clearing, Nana came to a halt. I then felt another set of hands come around me, pulling me gently away. I struggled feebly, not wanting to leave the safety of Nana's arms. I only stopped when I realized that it was Ada who now held me. Instinctively, I relaxed and tried to wrap my arms around his wider form.
But Ada did not allow this to occur. Gently, he knelt down and set me on my own two feet. I stared into his eyes, hoping to find the love and comfort I had always seen in them. Instead, I saw only the eyes of the Lord of Imladris. Ada was nowhere to be found.
"Remember that you are a Daughter of Imladris, the granddaughter of the Lady of Lothlórien. Destiny requires much of you, and you must follow its edict."
He did not give me a chance to reply, nor did he give any indication he saw the helpless tears that still leaked out of my blue eyes. Instead, he quickly took me by the shoulders and turned me around, gently pushing me forward. A few feet away, the woman that had appeared in Ada's office the night before stood there, carrying an unusual staff.
As I walked slowly towards her, our gazes locked. Her eyes were, to my surprise, a deep, dark red. They were emotionless.
And in that moment, the meaning of what was happening truly dawned in my mind. She was taking me away from an ada that no longer loved me. I had been bad, so she was taking me away.
I stopped, turned, and looked back. Nana was still crying, my brothers and sister clinging to her, trying to be of some comfort. Ada stood away from them, a few feet forward, his face a blank slate; he showed no sentiment.
Surprisingly, a wave of anger washed over my heart. Why was Ada sending me away? Why hadn't he told me I had been bad? There was no way for that question to be answered now. He no longer loved me. I should just accept that.
Turning back, I stalked forward and came up to Senshi Pluto. She calmly held out her hand to me and I took it without hesitation. I was resolved to trouble Ada no further.
Before we vanished, I managed to lock gazes with Ada one last time. I kept all pain from my face, instead showing my anger and feelings of betrayal. He was forcing me to leave Nana and my siblings. I would have him bear the burden of that knowledge forever.
It was then that the memory of that day ended, but the Time Gate saw fit to show me what occurred after Pluto and I vanished. Nana broke into even louder wails and her knees gave way. Only the strength of her sons and remaining daughter kept her on her feet.
But Ada had no such support. He himself sank to his knees, his dark eyes still riveted on where Pluto and I had stood, silent tears long held back now flowing down his smooth cheeks.
It was on that anguished expression that the Time Gate closed my view of what had happened so long ago. I did see a few brief flashes of Ada's face just before it shut itself. In almost every one of them, his eyes were severe, his gentle smile gone, the lines on his countenance more prominent. He looked haunted, to be frank.
After having all those memories flood my mind, it was a miracle I was still conscious. But once the Gate closed, the first thing I was aware of was a mockery of my own voice, letting out gut-wrenching sobs. Only one word could be distinguished through my hysterical tears.
"Ada."
I understood. The Senshi had always said that whenever I became Princess Serenity, there was something different about me. Something cold, ethereal, untouchable. I had always assumed that it came from the upbringing I had received on the Moon, the knowledge I contained. And, in a way, it was.
For the first hundred years that I lived on the Moon, I was cold and distant. I was angry at everyone. Ada, for sending me there. The Queen, for requiring a daughter as an heir to her precious throne. Pluto, who had hidden my pointed ears and had changed my white-blond hair, something I'd inherited from my mother's line, to more of a gold color. I despised that, as well as the fact that my blue eyes had been darkened. Pluto, in my eyes, was destroying Elissien Nimithil, the daughter of Elrond and Celebrían, to replace her with her own image of a girl who did not exist.
Yes, I understood. Serenity was not my identity from the Silver Millennium. Elissien Nimithil I had been born, and Elissien Nimithil I remained until the day Beryl destroyed the kingdom. Serenity was merely a disguise, a façade used for the sake of politics regarding the succession of the Moon Throne. It meant nothing to me.
Over time, I lost my anger towards Queen Serenity, even coming to call her Mother after a time. I know a part of her wished I would call her Mama, or something less formal, but Nana meant Mama in her language and I refused replace one woman with the other. I would not enact such a betrayal on the one who gave birth to me.
My Senshi knew nothing of my origins. They knew me only as the Princess they swore to protect and, later, as their treasured friend. I did not tell them either, for, by then, I had grown accustomed to keeping my silence of my home.
And so time passed. For two hundred more years, I lived in peace and contentment on the Moon, spending my time enjoying myself with the Senshi and learning statecraft with Mother.
But all that changed when, out of curiosity, I ventured down to Earth. But that is a story already told and well-known to many.
Now, where was I? My thoughts lead me down many roads when they are my only companions. Ah, yes, the aftermath of Pluto's revelations…
After the Time Gates shut, my pent-up emotions flooded forth. The agony of losing my parents and Shingo burst out of the walls I'd placed around it. Mingling with an old pain that had never truly healed.
And so, I wept in Endymion's arms, lamenting Fate's cruel hand.
It wasn't until after I had finally calmed that Pluto spoke to me. Endymion had curbed his questions in the face of my emotional collapse, comforting me as best he could. But when my tears stopped and my eyes fell yet again on the Senshi of Time, he turned to her as well.
Pluto knelt down in front of us, her dark eyes locked with mine. Softly, she spoke to me in Sindarin, my home language. The meaning of her words flowed through my mind like a river, soothing me.
"Fear not, Elissien Nimithil, daughter of Elrond. You will see Imladris and those you love before your time is gone. You will return home. This I swear."
So long ago, Pluto spoke those words to me, a healing balm on my weary and torn heart. Through what had been revealed, I was able to allow the memory of my parents and Shingo to rest in peace and carry on with my life. I was able to return to Crystal Tokyo and take up my duties as queen, as well as those of wife and friend.
Endymion and I discussed what Pluto had shown us at length, though we never told the rest of the Senshi. He had wanted to, but I never felt comfortable with the idea of telling them that I had not been born the daughter of Serenity. Though I knew it would change nothing in their eyes, I felt in my heart that this should remain between Pluto, Endymion, and myself. And so when Small Lady arrived, she only knew of her father's family, my parents, my brother, and Mother. I told her nothing of the grandparents, uncles, aunt, and hosts of other kin that still lay in both Middle-Earth and Valinor. I think, even then, I somehow sensed that my only child would not live to see them.
And now, as I have stated, all of them are gone. Even Pluto has succumbed to the eternal rest of death. My daughter, who should have inherited my own immortality, forsook it in the final stages of the Great War, the final sacrifice to be made for victory. As for Endymion, my dear, sweet husband, he himself fell in battle, saving me. And this is something I have borne with a great pain. I miss him terribly.
Time has passed, as it always does. It has been now five thousand years since Pluto took me from Imladris as a child. Many times have I died and been reborn since then, but deep inside my heart, I have never truly forgotten those I have left behind.
And now it is time I returned to them. For many years, I have stood watch over this place, protecting it from horrors it was not yet ready to see. Now, however, it is time for those who live here to stand on their own two feet and fight for what they love. I have played the hand Fate dealt me and won. Now I will collect my winnings. I am going home.
As I stand before the Time Gate, staring at the scene before me, I wonder if Ada will recognize me. No longer am I the little girl with the white blond hair and sparkling blue eyes of Nana's line. If anything, I have come to resemble Mother now with silver hair and grayish-lavender eyes. I know not if my looks will return to what they had once been, or if they are gone forever. And time, I have discovered, passes far more slowly there than it does here. For those in Middle-Earth, a mere fifteen hundred years have passed since my departure, a mere moment to my five thousand.
Hopefully, it will not matter. My heart calls to Ada. Perhaps he will hear the call and recognize it for what it truly is.
Without further thought, I step through the Gate-
-and see a white-hot light envelop me.
The next thing I see when my eyes open are a pair of dark eyes but a few feet away, staring at me. Eyes that are now familiar, though they were never truly forgotten. Emotions flitter through them. Wariness, suspicion, confusion, and a host of others that I do not believe I need to mention. One word slips from my parched lips.
"Ada…"
Said eyes widen, surprise, and then realization, coming through them, as well as hope and-dare I say it-joy.
"Elissien."
And not another second passes when Ada surges forwards and tugs me into his arms. He knows. He knows who I am. He recognizes me. Thank the Valar. My ada knows who I am, though I am different from the baby girl he once beheld.
I can hear him whispering my name and his love for me over and over in my ear. Closing my eyes, I clutch him even more tightly. Words alone could never express how much we love one another. But even as I listen to his attempts to do so, I know that it is still a wonderful thing to hear.
A warm, comforting feeling begins to spread in my heart. Already, the wounds inflicted so long ago are beginning to heal, right now when Ada merely holds me in his arms. Much will need to be said before the healing is completed, but for now, this is a start. And I am content for this moment.
I shan't ever forget those I knew. Mother, Endymion, Small Lady, the Senshi. I loved each and every one of them. But they always told me that they never wanted me to suffer the horrors of being alone for the rest of time.
I wonder if the Senshi knew of the family that I had left behind, though I never told them. Endymion… Could he have told them? Could he have told them of the family I was forced to abandon for the sake of Fate and Destiny's game? Or could it have been Pluto?
I doubt I shall ever know, but in the end, does it truly matter? They did not wish for me to be alone after they were gone, and now, I am not. I am safe back in the arms of the parent who loved me and tortured himself daily because he could not protect me. And he loves me still.
"Ada, I love you."
I felt his body shudder against mine. Was Ada crying? I felt wetness against my own cheeks. We were both crying. I did not care. I was in Ada's arms, where I belonged.
I felt one arm come around my shoulder and the other under my knees. As Ada carried me in the house, I rested my head against his shoulder, still not opening my eyes. Sleep was slowly overcoming me, and I made no move to fight against it. This would undoubtedly be the best sleep I'd had in years.
After all, a person sleeps best when they're in their home. And my heart was humming with sheer happiness and joy. I was home at last.
Please review! Let me know what you think! No flames please!
Isilaráto