Holiday
Author: Isilaráto
Disclaimer: 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Sailor Moon' are property of their respective owners. I make no claim of ownership. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Christmas and Hope are intermingled. See the results in Imladris as Christmas miracles do happen.
Status: Complete
Part: 1/1
Prequel: 'Where My Heart Sings'
-----
I watched the sleeping child before me, carefully smoothing the blankets over his tiny form. He was a striking boy, no doubt due to the blood of Númenor that still ran true in his veins. There was no doubt in my mind that he would one day be as handsome as his forbearers had been.
And yet, even as the peacefulness of sleep came over his features, a cloud of sadness still hung about him. His forehead twitched, creases appearing. I sighed softly. I would have to remain close by, for it appeared that the young boy was in for another evening of nightmares.
Reaching up, I brushed my fingers over his forehead, moving his hair from his face. The creases faded slightly and he calmed. Nodding in satisfaction, I gently stood, cautious at disturbing him. When he did not wake, I exited the child's set of rooms, shutting the door softly.
The halls that held Imladris's residents were often dimly lit, so as not to send light spilling into everyone's private chambers to keep them awake. This was true tonight, just like every other evening. I made my way through the halls, ending my journey in Ada's study.
Looking around, I found him sitting in a comfortable chair by the roaring fire, his eyes on the page of a large tome that lay in his hands. I smiled at the image before me, then glanced to my left when I heard the wind rattle the glass that had been put up on his balcony for the winter. Shivering slightly, I stepped forward and lowered myself down next to Ada's chair, resting my chin on the armrest.
He did not look up from the book, but did lay one slim-fingered hand on my head, absently smoothing my blond hair. For a moment, I remembered my relief when my hair and eyes had returned to the colors of which I had been born with, allowing the silver hair and grayish-lavender eyes to fade back from wherever they had come. In my mind, my former appearance had been a painful reminder for Ada, forcing him to recall our long years apart from one another. And after all we had both endured, I had no wish for their to be any further torment between us. It had not taken long, merely a year or so after my arrival. In the nine and two hundred years since then, I had been Elissien Nimithil once more. So, feeling his warm and gentle hand upon my head, I smiled contentedly, feeling as if I were a small child once more.
"Did you put Estel to bed?"
Ada's inquiry brought me out of my wandering thoughts and my eyes darted up to stare into his. "Mm," I mumbled affirmatively. "I think I shall stay awake for a while and read. His sleep seems troubled."
A frown crossed his smooth features. "Nightmares again," he stated, his brow furrowing.
I nodded. "I too had thought they had finally gone, but in the past few nights, they've returned. Last night, he awoke crying for his mother. It took me nearly an hour to calm him and help him fall asleep again." I sighed. "I now know what Endymion went through with Small Lady. She always clung to him whenever she had a night fright. He made it seem so simple."
"Raising a child is anything but simple, my daughter," Ada replied, a small smile coming onto his lips as he again slid his hand over my hair. A feeling of contentment infiltrated my senses as I allowed his words to seep through me. Ada was right of course. And he knew what he was speaking of. He and Nana had raised four children. For Eru's sake, tales of what Elladan and Elrohir did as young elflings were still legendary throughout both Imladris and Lothlórien.
But Estel, as I was well aware, was no Elf child. He descended from Ada's brother Elros, my uncle, but he was of the race of Men. It was something I was reminded of daily. And yet, despite the knowledge he would one day embrace the Valar's gift to his people, I found myself growing more and more attached to him as the days passed us by.
Perhaps I was setting myself into a position to feel the loss of another child, as Ada told me often enough, but I still did nothing to stop it. Children have always been dear to me, and I refuse to turn my back on one. Especially one that is of my own kin. I-
All thoughts of mine came to an abrupt and frightening end when I heard a shrill scream that chilled the blood that flowed in my veins. Then pure instinct took over.
I jumped up from my position on the floor and rushed out of the room, not even bothering to wait to see if Ada would follow. I waived all decorum expected of the Lady of Imladris, lifting my skirts and bolting down the halls at a dead run. The cries that echoed through the house had awakened something within me and I would suffer no one who attempted to stand in my way.
What might have been moments or minutes later, I am unsure, I came upon Estel's rooms. Throwing the doors open, I rushed towards his bed. I could see his slight form, thrashing wildly in the bed. I could hear his shouts of denial and for his mother. I winced, but kept coming. Gilraen was gone, having succumbed to her grief and joined Arathorn in what lies beyond death for the race of Men. The two that gave Estel life were gone, leaving him in the care of an Elven Lord who was, in my opinion, hesitant to show him affection, and his daughter, who had not cared for a child in over a thousand years.
Seating myself on the edge of the bed, I quickly pulled the struggling Estel into my arms, hugging him to my body tightly. I stroked his hair and whispered soothingly to him, allowing my maternal instincts, long dormant, to flood forth to him.
"Shh, it is alright, child. You are safe. You're alright," I repeated over and over softly, rocking him gently. Estel's arms came to wrap around me as he continued to cry.
Eventually, however, he calmed and drew himself back. His eyes did not meet mine as he scooted away from my embrace. When he spoke, it was with his child's lisp and barely discernable.
"I sowwy, Lady 'Lissien. I no' mea' to be bad."
Reaching forward, I laid one finger beneath his bent chin and lifted his head up so that his eyes would lock with mine.
"Young one," I said quietly, "'Tis not your fault. We all have nightmares. You are not the first to suffer form them, nor shall you be the last. Now, tell me, what happened in your mind this time?"
Estel's eyes flittered from my face to something behind me, uncertainty in his gaze. I did not have to turn to know that Ada had indeed followed me in my haste to reach the child's rooms.
'He is afraid to displease Ada,' I thought, marveling at the boy's hesitation. 'He should feel free to seek comfort like any other child, and yet this one's first thought is if he will offend his hosts. The world is a cruel place if it takes away innocence at such tender years.'
What Estel saw in Ada's face, I never knew, but there must have been some measure of encouragement, for the boy soon began to speak haltingly.
"O'cs… they gwowled and had cwaws…" Fresh tears filled his eyes as he looked up at me. "They took Momma 'n Poppa away…"
Closing my eyes, I gently pulled him back into my lap. "Oh, Estel," I crooned, again stroking his head. "I'm sorry, little one. It's all right it was just a dream. The orcs cannot harm you here. You are safe in Imladris with Ada and I."
I heard him mumble a faint, "Tank 'ou, 'ady." He was falling back to sleep. I sighed. The poor boy. He hadn't had a sufficient night's sleep in almost a week, when the nightmares had begun again.
I said nothing of this at the moment, however, contenting myself with merely rocking Estel until I was sure he was asleep. I laid him back against the pillows with care. He barely reacted, so deep was his exhaustion. As I stood, I sent a brief prayer to Irmo, asking that his rest remain undisturbed for the remainder of the night. Before making to leave the room, I placed a brief kiss on Estel's forehead.
I turned to leave and found Ada standing naught but a few feet from the bed, his dark eyes darting between Estel's slumbering form and myself, his expression inscrutable. Inwardly, I groaned. Something in me foretold of yet another scolding on the subject of allowing Estel to become too dear to me. I, of course, would reply with what I said every other time, that children are meant to be cherished, no matter their race, no matter how long they resided on the earth before growing into mature adults.
And Estel should be especially cherished, knowing his heritage, the burdens that would one day be placed upon his shoulders.
Shivering slightly, though I knew not why, I followed Ada from the room. We did not return to his study, instead going to his private sitting room not far from Estel's chambers.
Before he could open his mouth, I spoke up the moment the door slid shut. "I know what it is you will say, Ada, and my response remains the same. I care not that Estel will one day leave to whatever lies beyond death for the race of Men. I care not that he is descended from the one you call Isildur the Betrayer. Children I have always treasured, and treasure them I always will."
For several moments, Ada said nothing in response to my outburst. He moved to sit on a nearby settee, a great weariness seeming to settle over his shoulders. "Elissien… I do not wish for you to feel the pain of losing him."
My stubborn and harsh gaze softened, both sympathy and pain filling me. "It is too late for that, Ada. Small Lady died in my arms. Nothing can surpass such an ordeal. But… what kind of person would I be if I turned my back on a child that needed comfort. He's been through enough pain. I will not add to the mix. I couldn't live with myself."
Ada nodded, a vacant look entering into his eyes as they drifted to gaze into the fire. I turned to look out the glass-covered windows. The wind still howled beyond them, whipping through the leafless trees. I could never recall snow coming down in Imladris, but at the moment, the conditions seemed to be perfect for it. I smiled nostalgically. It was too bad…
When Ada asked what was unfortunate, I realized only then that I had spoken aloud.
Looking at him briefly, my eyes drifted back towards what lay outside. "It's December twenty-first," I elaborated. "In just a few days, it will be Christmas, a celebration that occurred every year back in Tokyo. And at this time, it was usually snowing, giving the children what we called a 'White Christmas.'"
"And what, pray tell, does this Christmas celebrate?"
I did not answer at first. Instead took my time seating myself next to him, carefully arranging my skirts. Then patiently, I began to explain the concept of Jesus Christ, his mother, Mary, and everything I knew about the subject. Thinking back, Ami probably would have done a far better job in enlightening Ada on the topic, but I did the best I could.
"And so," I finished, "On December twenty-fifth, children wake up in the morning to open presents put under their Christmas tree. The holiday has evolved over time since the birth of Christ, obviously."
Ada nodded, his expression thoughtful. "Interesting," he said. "I see that world had more to offer than I thought. Are there other such beliefs there?"
"Yes," I affirmed. Silently, I wondered why I had never told Ada any of this before. In fact, I rarely spoke of Tokyo and anything associated with it. Granted, I'd told him about Endymion, his son-in-law, Small Lady, his grandchild, and the Senshi, but that was all. Details of life there hadn't seemed important. Ada, I think, was just relieved that I was home and did not want to question anything of the world that had taken me from him. "There are many religions there, Islam, Judaism, just to name one or two."
I paused briefly, then leaned to rest my head on Ada's shoulder. Automatically, his arm came up to wrap itself around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. "We always celebrated Christmas in Crystal Tokyo. Small Lady loved it. She would come into our room before dawn, every year without fail, and jump on our bed, demanding we rise. After several years of such occurrences, Endymion and I finally laid a rule down, insisting that she not bid us to wake before six in the morning."
I closed my eyes briefly, savoring the memories. I could still hear my Small Lady's laughter as she tore into her presents, feel my own content smile as I snuggled into Endymion's arms as we observed her obvious delight. The memory no longer brought me pain, only a sense of nostalgia. I had ceased to celebrate Christmas when Small Lady had died of old age in my very arms…
My eyes shot open, the idea planted in my thoughts. I lifted my head and stared at the fire, then to Ada's face, who was staring at me in confusion, most likely wondering why I had pulled away from him. Looking at him, his gaze immediately became wary and I smothered my laughter. He knew I was up to something already. How well he could predict my thoughts!
"Ada," I said, my voice sounding, if I may say so without seeming arrogant, perfectly innocent. I could almost hear Minako's insane laughter echoing through my mind.
One of his delicate eyebrows rose, a bit of something akin to amusement entering his dark eyes. "Yes, Elissien Nimithil? What is it you wish?"
He was using my title. This could mean one of two things. First, Ada could have decided to err on the side of caution and was merely humoring me. Or he truly was interested in what I was about to request. Well, in either case, I had to ask. This was for Estel as much as myself.
"Would you mind terribly if we held a Christmas celebration in Imladrs," I inquired. "I think it would be good for Estel. It should, I think, give him a happy matter to dwell on, instead of recalling nightmares that refuse to release the horror of his parents' deaths."
Ada remained silent, his eyes still locked to mine. He seemed to be waiting for something else…
…and I found my voice speaking again, though this time not of my own will. "And… I think I wish to remember how much Small Lady loved Christmas by celebrate it once more. I… believe I am able to bear it now."
After another brief moment of silence, Ada finally nodded. "Very well, my daughter, we shall make merry over the holiday my grandchild so enjoyed. I am certain Glorfindel and Erestor would be delighted to assist you in the preparations. Both of them have always enjoyed parties."
My lips blossomed into a large smile and I took Ada's hand and brought it up to my cheek. I then turned my face so my lips would brush his hand lightly. "You are the most wonderful ada in all of Middle-Earth," I whispered reverently, tears blooming in my eyes. I then, without ceremony, flung my arms around him and buried my face in the crook of his neck. I felt Ada's strong arms wrap around me and for a time we stayed there. Soon, however, I pulled away from him and pushed myself to my feet, quickly straightening my skirts.
"I must go," I said absently, moving towards the door. "I need to find Glorfindel and Erestor and tell them what is needed. I-"
"Elissien," Ada cut in, not allowing me to finish. I turned back to him, surprised.
He continued dryly, "As fond as Glorfindel is of you and though I am certain he would be delighted to help you with this new form of merrymaking, I sincerely doubt he or Erestor would appreciate you waking them as your daughter woke you and your husband on Christmas morning. It is far too late. I think it would be best if you began in the morning."
My eyes flitted from Ada to the window. Indeed, the darkness of night was still in dominance of the world. I felt my face grow warm and I giggled sheepishly.
"I see you are correct, Ada. I suppose I shall leave them to their rest for now. Good night, Ada."
As I left the room, I heard his smile in his voice. "Good night to you, my daughter."
---
The next few days were quite chaotic. While Ada kept Estel distracted with various assignments and games, Glorfindel, Erestor, and I darted about Imladris, pulling the party together. Erestor occupied the kitchens, directing the cooks to prepare as much food as possible, especially sweets. Glorfindel, being the kind Elf he was, gallantly volunteered to gather gifts for Estel while I supervised the decorating of the Hall of Fire. I was especially grateful to him because, to be frank, I was quite at a loss as to what to give a young boy for Christmas. Glorfindel received an appreciative kiss on the cheek for being so sweet.
By December twenty-fourth, I had gone nearly forty-eight hours without sleeping. Decorating had provided a… unique set of challenges. Elves abhor the concept of cutting down trees, so I had been forced to improvise on a location for Estel's gifts.
I'd also had to work with the minstrels in instructing them how to play Christmas Carols on their lyres, flutes, and harps. It was then I truly wished I had listened more carefully to Michiru and her instructions on how to explain the notes of different pieces of music.
But as Christmas Eve arrived and the party began to take hold, I found myself actually able to relax slightly. Ada and I brought Estel in and he was immediately enthralled with the sights before him. It was the first time he had ever attended a celebration in Imladris and thus it was a new experience for him. Glorfindel took him by the hand and led him to where the gorgeous food was displayed, Erestor standing nearby, a proud expression on his face. And he had good cause to be filled with pride. The fact that the three of us were able to bring this together with so little time to prepare was indeed proof that Christmas miracles do occur.
I watched Estel from Ada's side and, remarkably, I felt a pang of loneliness. My siblings were not hear to take part in this wonderful celebration. Christmas was, after all, about being together with one's family. But of the line of Eärendil, only Ada, Estel, and myself were present. Nana, who had married into the line, was gone from us. Though my siblings had come home when I had returned, they had not stayed long. My brothers seemed unable to resist the call to ride forth from our beautiful home to sleep in the wilds and hunt down the accursed Orcs, and Arwen, it seemed, longed to return to Lothlórien and its Lord and Lady. Home did not call to their hearts as it did mine.
But when I saw Estel's elated and happy face, I was able to push aside my sudden bout of melancholy and enjoy myself. And so the Elves of Imladris enjoyed their first Christmas, contentedly watching their Lord's ward rip into the presents that had been prepared for him. And as Ada sat next to me, both of us watching him, I felt a sense of true peace come over me. Though my siblings were not present, I could feel the presence of Small Lady, Endymion, and the Senshi, gathered around me. Perhaps, wherever the spirits of Man go after death, they are having their own Christmas celebration. And they are watching, smiling at seeing me finally able to carry on the tradition that was begun so long ago.
Some time later, after Estel had shown everyone his gifts to his satisfaction, he climbed up into my lap, nibbling on a sweet given to him, no doubt, by one of the maidens who would refuse him nothing, even so close to his bedtime.
The minstrels had been playing various melodies throughout the evening, mostly Elvish songs that reflected the time of celebration. But now, they began to play the melodies of the Christmas Carols I had given them.
"Lady 'Lissien," Estel said, his eyes sparkling with wonder as he gazed at the minstrels, "I never heard those songs before. What are they?"
Smiling at him, I explained, "They're what some call 'Christmas Carols,' young one. The minstrels learned a few of them and are playing them in honor of this night. Some even have words, but in a language that no one would recognize."
He looked up at me, his eyes drifting back and forth from the minstrels to my face. After a moment, he asked, "Will you sing?"
I looked down at him, then to Ada, who was listening to our conversation with avid interest. "Indeed, my daughter, sing us the words of these melodies."
I have never truly had faith in my musical abilities. The fiasco with Michiru's violin was enough proof, as was the few times I actually tried to sing, that my talents did not lie in the artistic direction. But the eyes of nearly everyone in the room were on me, giving me not a choice. Sighing slightly, I nodded.
The minstrels began one a new tune, one I immediately recognized.
"Away in a manger, no crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head
The stars in the sky looked down where he lay
The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay
The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus no crying he makes
I love thee, Lord Jesus! Look down from the sky
And stay by my side until morning is nigh
Hear me Lord Jesus, I ask thee to stay
Close by me forever and love me I pray
Blessed are the dear children in thy tender care
And fit us for Heaven to live with thee there…"
There was a brief silence as the song ended and I only discreetly waved to the minstrels. I had no wish to see the pained looks on the faces of everyone, just as it had been back then. They quickly began to play an Elvish tune, therefore distracting everyone from me.
When I finally dared to look up, I found Estel gazing at me in something akin to awe and Ada smiling softly, a look of pride on his face. Calling to the minstrels, he bade them, "Play another! I wish to hear my daughter's fair voice grace the room once again! I understand little of what the words indicate, but their sound is pleasing to many an ear!"
I would have shushed him, but the minstrels answered their lord's command without delay. Gone was the Elvish song, only to be replaced with another Christmas Carol, this one much faster paced than the first. Giving him a glance, I opened my mouth again.
"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling
Ring ting tingling too
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "You Hoo"
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap let's go
Let's look at the snow
We're riding in a wonderland of snow
Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap it's grand
Just holding your hand
We're gliding along with the song
Of a wintry fairy land
Our cheeks are nice and rosy
And comfy cozy are we
We're snuggled up together like two
Birds of a feather would be
Let's take the road before us
And sing a chorus or two
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
There's a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray
It'll be the perfect ending of a perfect day
We'll be singing the songs we love to sing without a single stop
At the fireplace while we watch the chestnuts pop
Pop! Pop! Pop!
There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy
When they pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie
It'll nearly be like a picture print by Currier and Ives
These wonderful things are the things
We remember all through our lives
Just here those sleigh bells jingling
Ring ting tingling too
Come on it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "You Hoo"
Come on it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
It's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
It's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you…"
The ending brought about polite applause from the Elves that were still present in the Hall. Estel was smiling happily, though I could see his eyes drooping. Exhaustion was overtaking him. There was one last Carol for the minstrels to play, and as it was similar to 'Away in a Manger,' I knew it would put him to sleep. He'd enjoyed himself greatly, but now he needed to rest.
"Lady 'Lissien," came Estel's slightly muffled voice. I looked down and saw he was leaning against me heavily, his eyes nearly shut. But there was still a faint spark of alertness in his eyes that allowed him the ability to speak.
"Yes, little one?"
"D' you thin' Momma 'n Poppa woul' mind if I call' you 'n Lor' 'Lrond Nana 'n Ada…"
My eyes widened in surprise and slid towards Ada. He too looked shocked, but there was something else in his eyes… Was he going against his own advice? The suggestion that one not get too attached to a person's whose life was so brief in the eyes of the Elves? A smile pulled at my lips. Ada loved the child in my arms, just as much as I did. Turning my gaze back to the boy in my lap, I gave him my response.
"Estel, I do not think they would mind. They know you will always love them and never forget them, but I do not believe they would begrudge you for loving others as well," I said, gently stroking his back.
The smile on his face was brighter than the morning dawn. Looking over to the minstrels, I gave them a nod. Estel needs his rest, and I think the final song would give him that. The nightmares would not plague him this night, of that I was adamant.
"Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
'Round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night, holy night
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing alleluia
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth
Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Christ, the Savior, is born!
Christ, the Savior, is born!"
I whispered the last few lines of the song, as Estel's head now leaned heavily against me. Sleep had completely overtaken him. Irmo, I think, will give him naught but happy dreams this night.
Ada had stood by then, and carefully took the sleeping child from me, intending to carry him off to his bed. I moved to follow, but something caught my gaze.
Or rather… *someone.*
Glorfindel sat across the room, several maidens nearby, clearly fawning over him. That was no surprise. Many a maid vied for his attention. What was a surprise was that his clear blue eyes were locked on me. On *me.* Why was he staring at me so?
Slowly, as if hearing my question, a smirk spread across his lips. With a devilish attitude, he raised his wine glass to me, clearly giving me a toast.
I felt my face flush, but I did not move. What was Glorfindel doing to me? Just hours before, I had bestowed a kiss on his cheek, calling him one of the sweetest Elves I knew. But this Glorfindel, the one that was staring at me with a frank appraisal that I had seen only rarely in a male's eyes, there was nothing sweet about him. There was something more… dark, primal, perhaps. And I, like a stag, was caught in the cunning trap of the hunter.
It was then I recalled Ada's words from several nights before. 'As fond as Glorfindel is of you…' We'd been discussing both Glorfindel and Erestor, but he had not included the second seneschal in that statement. Did Ada know something I did not?
I would have to find out, if there was any chance of removing myself from Glorfindel's provocative gaze. I had been attempting to turn away from those piercing eyes, but always my eyes were drawn back to his. What was more, he knew it. His eyes sparkled… was that triumph I saw in them? If he was believing he had one a victory of some sort, I found I could do nothing to stop that notion. My body was on fire, tingling with anticipation.
And as quickly as he had caught me, Glorfindel released me, turning his gaze to Erestor, who had come to speak with him on some matter. I fought to restrain a gasp, nearly staggering back into my chair. It had been as if Glorfindel had been physically restraining me, only to abruptly let me go, allowing my struggling momentum to carry me backwards. I still caught myself on the arm of the chair and managed to stay upright, my eyes glued now to Glorfindel's profile. He behaved as if nothing had occurred.
I was torn between gratitude that the moment was over and could now be forgotten and anger that he appeared so unaffected, while I undoubtedly seemed to be a quivering, shaking mess. In determination, I grit my teeth. I would not have anyone see that the first seneschal had caused Imladris's Lady to lose her composure with a glance. I was thankful no one gave the impression of having seen the looks that had passed between us.
Glorfindel's eyes were now flickering towards me again, but before he could catch me unawares again, I made to leave, my head held high. I would not be the stag to his hunter again. Not if it was in my power.
But even as I left the Hall of Fire, a pleasant smile on my face for the sake of all those I passed by, I felt those striking blue orbs burning into my back the entire time. But the spell seemed to lift as I came to the hallway. It must have been the atmosphere of the hall, combined with the abundance of wine that flowed all evening, that had caused those passion-filled moments. The Hall of Fire was famous among Elves for causing feelings to ignite, only to have them extinguish the moment they left.
I hurried down the halls toward Estel's rooms, doing my best to calm my raging emotions. When I arrived, I found Ada had already laid the sleeping child under his blankets and was pulling them up to his chin. I watched from the doorway as Ada leaned down and kissed him on the forehead, whispering, "Sleep well this night, my son. You have found your place. There is no need to fear."
My heart's pounding almost completely faded when I heard those words, filling me with tenderness. I was witnessing the birth of a new family, and this was just as precious and holy as any other. And as Ada came towards me, I knew I had finally found peace. I leaned against him, my eyes still on Estel… my son. I knew Small Lady and the others were watching, and smiling. I was happy again, with Ada and Estel. Though my siblings were not here, I knew they loved me as I cherished them. We were, in a sense, all together.
And that, I think, is the most wonderful Christmas miracle any could think to bestow.
Author: Isilaráto
Disclaimer: 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Sailor Moon' are property of their respective owners. I make no claim of ownership. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Christmas and Hope are intermingled. See the results in Imladris as Christmas miracles do happen.
Status: Complete
Part: 1/1
Prequel: 'Where My Heart Sings'
-----
I watched the sleeping child before me, carefully smoothing the blankets over his tiny form. He was a striking boy, no doubt due to the blood of Númenor that still ran true in his veins. There was no doubt in my mind that he would one day be as handsome as his forbearers had been.
And yet, even as the peacefulness of sleep came over his features, a cloud of sadness still hung about him. His forehead twitched, creases appearing. I sighed softly. I would have to remain close by, for it appeared that the young boy was in for another evening of nightmares.
Reaching up, I brushed my fingers over his forehead, moving his hair from his face. The creases faded slightly and he calmed. Nodding in satisfaction, I gently stood, cautious at disturbing him. When he did not wake, I exited the child's set of rooms, shutting the door softly.
The halls that held Imladris's residents were often dimly lit, so as not to send light spilling into everyone's private chambers to keep them awake. This was true tonight, just like every other evening. I made my way through the halls, ending my journey in Ada's study.
Looking around, I found him sitting in a comfortable chair by the roaring fire, his eyes on the page of a large tome that lay in his hands. I smiled at the image before me, then glanced to my left when I heard the wind rattle the glass that had been put up on his balcony for the winter. Shivering slightly, I stepped forward and lowered myself down next to Ada's chair, resting my chin on the armrest.
He did not look up from the book, but did lay one slim-fingered hand on my head, absently smoothing my blond hair. For a moment, I remembered my relief when my hair and eyes had returned to the colors of which I had been born with, allowing the silver hair and grayish-lavender eyes to fade back from wherever they had come. In my mind, my former appearance had been a painful reminder for Ada, forcing him to recall our long years apart from one another. And after all we had both endured, I had no wish for their to be any further torment between us. It had not taken long, merely a year or so after my arrival. In the nine and two hundred years since then, I had been Elissien Nimithil once more. So, feeling his warm and gentle hand upon my head, I smiled contentedly, feeling as if I were a small child once more.
"Did you put Estel to bed?"
Ada's inquiry brought me out of my wandering thoughts and my eyes darted up to stare into his. "Mm," I mumbled affirmatively. "I think I shall stay awake for a while and read. His sleep seems troubled."
A frown crossed his smooth features. "Nightmares again," he stated, his brow furrowing.
I nodded. "I too had thought they had finally gone, but in the past few nights, they've returned. Last night, he awoke crying for his mother. It took me nearly an hour to calm him and help him fall asleep again." I sighed. "I now know what Endymion went through with Small Lady. She always clung to him whenever she had a night fright. He made it seem so simple."
"Raising a child is anything but simple, my daughter," Ada replied, a small smile coming onto his lips as he again slid his hand over my hair. A feeling of contentment infiltrated my senses as I allowed his words to seep through me. Ada was right of course. And he knew what he was speaking of. He and Nana had raised four children. For Eru's sake, tales of what Elladan and Elrohir did as young elflings were still legendary throughout both Imladris and Lothlórien.
But Estel, as I was well aware, was no Elf child. He descended from Ada's brother Elros, my uncle, but he was of the race of Men. It was something I was reminded of daily. And yet, despite the knowledge he would one day embrace the Valar's gift to his people, I found myself growing more and more attached to him as the days passed us by.
Perhaps I was setting myself into a position to feel the loss of another child, as Ada told me often enough, but I still did nothing to stop it. Children have always been dear to me, and I refuse to turn my back on one. Especially one that is of my own kin. I-
All thoughts of mine came to an abrupt and frightening end when I heard a shrill scream that chilled the blood that flowed in my veins. Then pure instinct took over.
I jumped up from my position on the floor and rushed out of the room, not even bothering to wait to see if Ada would follow. I waived all decorum expected of the Lady of Imladris, lifting my skirts and bolting down the halls at a dead run. The cries that echoed through the house had awakened something within me and I would suffer no one who attempted to stand in my way.
What might have been moments or minutes later, I am unsure, I came upon Estel's rooms. Throwing the doors open, I rushed towards his bed. I could see his slight form, thrashing wildly in the bed. I could hear his shouts of denial and for his mother. I winced, but kept coming. Gilraen was gone, having succumbed to her grief and joined Arathorn in what lies beyond death for the race of Men. The two that gave Estel life were gone, leaving him in the care of an Elven Lord who was, in my opinion, hesitant to show him affection, and his daughter, who had not cared for a child in over a thousand years.
Seating myself on the edge of the bed, I quickly pulled the struggling Estel into my arms, hugging him to my body tightly. I stroked his hair and whispered soothingly to him, allowing my maternal instincts, long dormant, to flood forth to him.
"Shh, it is alright, child. You are safe. You're alright," I repeated over and over softly, rocking him gently. Estel's arms came to wrap around me as he continued to cry.
Eventually, however, he calmed and drew himself back. His eyes did not meet mine as he scooted away from my embrace. When he spoke, it was with his child's lisp and barely discernable.
"I sowwy, Lady 'Lissien. I no' mea' to be bad."
Reaching forward, I laid one finger beneath his bent chin and lifted his head up so that his eyes would lock with mine.
"Young one," I said quietly, "'Tis not your fault. We all have nightmares. You are not the first to suffer form them, nor shall you be the last. Now, tell me, what happened in your mind this time?"
Estel's eyes flittered from my face to something behind me, uncertainty in his gaze. I did not have to turn to know that Ada had indeed followed me in my haste to reach the child's rooms.
'He is afraid to displease Ada,' I thought, marveling at the boy's hesitation. 'He should feel free to seek comfort like any other child, and yet this one's first thought is if he will offend his hosts. The world is a cruel place if it takes away innocence at such tender years.'
What Estel saw in Ada's face, I never knew, but there must have been some measure of encouragement, for the boy soon began to speak haltingly.
"O'cs… they gwowled and had cwaws…" Fresh tears filled his eyes as he looked up at me. "They took Momma 'n Poppa away…"
Closing my eyes, I gently pulled him back into my lap. "Oh, Estel," I crooned, again stroking his head. "I'm sorry, little one. It's all right it was just a dream. The orcs cannot harm you here. You are safe in Imladris with Ada and I."
I heard him mumble a faint, "Tank 'ou, 'ady." He was falling back to sleep. I sighed. The poor boy. He hadn't had a sufficient night's sleep in almost a week, when the nightmares had begun again.
I said nothing of this at the moment, however, contenting myself with merely rocking Estel until I was sure he was asleep. I laid him back against the pillows with care. He barely reacted, so deep was his exhaustion. As I stood, I sent a brief prayer to Irmo, asking that his rest remain undisturbed for the remainder of the night. Before making to leave the room, I placed a brief kiss on Estel's forehead.
I turned to leave and found Ada standing naught but a few feet from the bed, his dark eyes darting between Estel's slumbering form and myself, his expression inscrutable. Inwardly, I groaned. Something in me foretold of yet another scolding on the subject of allowing Estel to become too dear to me. I, of course, would reply with what I said every other time, that children are meant to be cherished, no matter their race, no matter how long they resided on the earth before growing into mature adults.
And Estel should be especially cherished, knowing his heritage, the burdens that would one day be placed upon his shoulders.
Shivering slightly, though I knew not why, I followed Ada from the room. We did not return to his study, instead going to his private sitting room not far from Estel's chambers.
Before he could open his mouth, I spoke up the moment the door slid shut. "I know what it is you will say, Ada, and my response remains the same. I care not that Estel will one day leave to whatever lies beyond death for the race of Men. I care not that he is descended from the one you call Isildur the Betrayer. Children I have always treasured, and treasure them I always will."
For several moments, Ada said nothing in response to my outburst. He moved to sit on a nearby settee, a great weariness seeming to settle over his shoulders. "Elissien… I do not wish for you to feel the pain of losing him."
My stubborn and harsh gaze softened, both sympathy and pain filling me. "It is too late for that, Ada. Small Lady died in my arms. Nothing can surpass such an ordeal. But… what kind of person would I be if I turned my back on a child that needed comfort. He's been through enough pain. I will not add to the mix. I couldn't live with myself."
Ada nodded, a vacant look entering into his eyes as they drifted to gaze into the fire. I turned to look out the glass-covered windows. The wind still howled beyond them, whipping through the leafless trees. I could never recall snow coming down in Imladris, but at the moment, the conditions seemed to be perfect for it. I smiled nostalgically. It was too bad…
When Ada asked what was unfortunate, I realized only then that I had spoken aloud.
Looking at him briefly, my eyes drifted back towards what lay outside. "It's December twenty-first," I elaborated. "In just a few days, it will be Christmas, a celebration that occurred every year back in Tokyo. And at this time, it was usually snowing, giving the children what we called a 'White Christmas.'"
"And what, pray tell, does this Christmas celebrate?"
I did not answer at first. Instead took my time seating myself next to him, carefully arranging my skirts. Then patiently, I began to explain the concept of Jesus Christ, his mother, Mary, and everything I knew about the subject. Thinking back, Ami probably would have done a far better job in enlightening Ada on the topic, but I did the best I could.
"And so," I finished, "On December twenty-fifth, children wake up in the morning to open presents put under their Christmas tree. The holiday has evolved over time since the birth of Christ, obviously."
Ada nodded, his expression thoughtful. "Interesting," he said. "I see that world had more to offer than I thought. Are there other such beliefs there?"
"Yes," I affirmed. Silently, I wondered why I had never told Ada any of this before. In fact, I rarely spoke of Tokyo and anything associated with it. Granted, I'd told him about Endymion, his son-in-law, Small Lady, his grandchild, and the Senshi, but that was all. Details of life there hadn't seemed important. Ada, I think, was just relieved that I was home and did not want to question anything of the world that had taken me from him. "There are many religions there, Islam, Judaism, just to name one or two."
I paused briefly, then leaned to rest my head on Ada's shoulder. Automatically, his arm came up to wrap itself around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. "We always celebrated Christmas in Crystal Tokyo. Small Lady loved it. She would come into our room before dawn, every year without fail, and jump on our bed, demanding we rise. After several years of such occurrences, Endymion and I finally laid a rule down, insisting that she not bid us to wake before six in the morning."
I closed my eyes briefly, savoring the memories. I could still hear my Small Lady's laughter as she tore into her presents, feel my own content smile as I snuggled into Endymion's arms as we observed her obvious delight. The memory no longer brought me pain, only a sense of nostalgia. I had ceased to celebrate Christmas when Small Lady had died of old age in my very arms…
My eyes shot open, the idea planted in my thoughts. I lifted my head and stared at the fire, then to Ada's face, who was staring at me in confusion, most likely wondering why I had pulled away from him. Looking at him, his gaze immediately became wary and I smothered my laughter. He knew I was up to something already. How well he could predict my thoughts!
"Ada," I said, my voice sounding, if I may say so without seeming arrogant, perfectly innocent. I could almost hear Minako's insane laughter echoing through my mind.
One of his delicate eyebrows rose, a bit of something akin to amusement entering his dark eyes. "Yes, Elissien Nimithil? What is it you wish?"
He was using my title. This could mean one of two things. First, Ada could have decided to err on the side of caution and was merely humoring me. Or he truly was interested in what I was about to request. Well, in either case, I had to ask. This was for Estel as much as myself.
"Would you mind terribly if we held a Christmas celebration in Imladrs," I inquired. "I think it would be good for Estel. It should, I think, give him a happy matter to dwell on, instead of recalling nightmares that refuse to release the horror of his parents' deaths."
Ada remained silent, his eyes still locked to mine. He seemed to be waiting for something else…
…and I found my voice speaking again, though this time not of my own will. "And… I think I wish to remember how much Small Lady loved Christmas by celebrate it once more. I… believe I am able to bear it now."
After another brief moment of silence, Ada finally nodded. "Very well, my daughter, we shall make merry over the holiday my grandchild so enjoyed. I am certain Glorfindel and Erestor would be delighted to assist you in the preparations. Both of them have always enjoyed parties."
My lips blossomed into a large smile and I took Ada's hand and brought it up to my cheek. I then turned my face so my lips would brush his hand lightly. "You are the most wonderful ada in all of Middle-Earth," I whispered reverently, tears blooming in my eyes. I then, without ceremony, flung my arms around him and buried my face in the crook of his neck. I felt Ada's strong arms wrap around me and for a time we stayed there. Soon, however, I pulled away from him and pushed myself to my feet, quickly straightening my skirts.
"I must go," I said absently, moving towards the door. "I need to find Glorfindel and Erestor and tell them what is needed. I-"
"Elissien," Ada cut in, not allowing me to finish. I turned back to him, surprised.
He continued dryly, "As fond as Glorfindel is of you and though I am certain he would be delighted to help you with this new form of merrymaking, I sincerely doubt he or Erestor would appreciate you waking them as your daughter woke you and your husband on Christmas morning. It is far too late. I think it would be best if you began in the morning."
My eyes flitted from Ada to the window. Indeed, the darkness of night was still in dominance of the world. I felt my face grow warm and I giggled sheepishly.
"I see you are correct, Ada. I suppose I shall leave them to their rest for now. Good night, Ada."
As I left the room, I heard his smile in his voice. "Good night to you, my daughter."
---
The next few days were quite chaotic. While Ada kept Estel distracted with various assignments and games, Glorfindel, Erestor, and I darted about Imladris, pulling the party together. Erestor occupied the kitchens, directing the cooks to prepare as much food as possible, especially sweets. Glorfindel, being the kind Elf he was, gallantly volunteered to gather gifts for Estel while I supervised the decorating of the Hall of Fire. I was especially grateful to him because, to be frank, I was quite at a loss as to what to give a young boy for Christmas. Glorfindel received an appreciative kiss on the cheek for being so sweet.
By December twenty-fourth, I had gone nearly forty-eight hours without sleeping. Decorating had provided a… unique set of challenges. Elves abhor the concept of cutting down trees, so I had been forced to improvise on a location for Estel's gifts.
I'd also had to work with the minstrels in instructing them how to play Christmas Carols on their lyres, flutes, and harps. It was then I truly wished I had listened more carefully to Michiru and her instructions on how to explain the notes of different pieces of music.
But as Christmas Eve arrived and the party began to take hold, I found myself actually able to relax slightly. Ada and I brought Estel in and he was immediately enthralled with the sights before him. It was the first time he had ever attended a celebration in Imladris and thus it was a new experience for him. Glorfindel took him by the hand and led him to where the gorgeous food was displayed, Erestor standing nearby, a proud expression on his face. And he had good cause to be filled with pride. The fact that the three of us were able to bring this together with so little time to prepare was indeed proof that Christmas miracles do occur.
I watched Estel from Ada's side and, remarkably, I felt a pang of loneliness. My siblings were not hear to take part in this wonderful celebration. Christmas was, after all, about being together with one's family. But of the line of Eärendil, only Ada, Estel, and myself were present. Nana, who had married into the line, was gone from us. Though my siblings had come home when I had returned, they had not stayed long. My brothers seemed unable to resist the call to ride forth from our beautiful home to sleep in the wilds and hunt down the accursed Orcs, and Arwen, it seemed, longed to return to Lothlórien and its Lord and Lady. Home did not call to their hearts as it did mine.
But when I saw Estel's elated and happy face, I was able to push aside my sudden bout of melancholy and enjoy myself. And so the Elves of Imladris enjoyed their first Christmas, contentedly watching their Lord's ward rip into the presents that had been prepared for him. And as Ada sat next to me, both of us watching him, I felt a sense of true peace come over me. Though my siblings were not present, I could feel the presence of Small Lady, Endymion, and the Senshi, gathered around me. Perhaps, wherever the spirits of Man go after death, they are having their own Christmas celebration. And they are watching, smiling at seeing me finally able to carry on the tradition that was begun so long ago.
Some time later, after Estel had shown everyone his gifts to his satisfaction, he climbed up into my lap, nibbling on a sweet given to him, no doubt, by one of the maidens who would refuse him nothing, even so close to his bedtime.
The minstrels had been playing various melodies throughout the evening, mostly Elvish songs that reflected the time of celebration. But now, they began to play the melodies of the Christmas Carols I had given them.
"Lady 'Lissien," Estel said, his eyes sparkling with wonder as he gazed at the minstrels, "I never heard those songs before. What are they?"
Smiling at him, I explained, "They're what some call 'Christmas Carols,' young one. The minstrels learned a few of them and are playing them in honor of this night. Some even have words, but in a language that no one would recognize."
He looked up at me, his eyes drifting back and forth from the minstrels to my face. After a moment, he asked, "Will you sing?"
I looked down at him, then to Ada, who was listening to our conversation with avid interest. "Indeed, my daughter, sing us the words of these melodies."
I have never truly had faith in my musical abilities. The fiasco with Michiru's violin was enough proof, as was the few times I actually tried to sing, that my talents did not lie in the artistic direction. But the eyes of nearly everyone in the room were on me, giving me not a choice. Sighing slightly, I nodded.
The minstrels began one a new tune, one I immediately recognized.
"Away in a manger, no crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head
The stars in the sky looked down where he lay
The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay
The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus no crying he makes
I love thee, Lord Jesus! Look down from the sky
And stay by my side until morning is nigh
Hear me Lord Jesus, I ask thee to stay
Close by me forever and love me I pray
Blessed are the dear children in thy tender care
And fit us for Heaven to live with thee there…"
There was a brief silence as the song ended and I only discreetly waved to the minstrels. I had no wish to see the pained looks on the faces of everyone, just as it had been back then. They quickly began to play an Elvish tune, therefore distracting everyone from me.
When I finally dared to look up, I found Estel gazing at me in something akin to awe and Ada smiling softly, a look of pride on his face. Calling to the minstrels, he bade them, "Play another! I wish to hear my daughter's fair voice grace the room once again! I understand little of what the words indicate, but their sound is pleasing to many an ear!"
I would have shushed him, but the minstrels answered their lord's command without delay. Gone was the Elvish song, only to be replaced with another Christmas Carol, this one much faster paced than the first. Giving him a glance, I opened my mouth again.
"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling
Ring ting tingling too
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "You Hoo"
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap let's go
Let's look at the snow
We're riding in a wonderland of snow
Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap it's grand
Just holding your hand
We're gliding along with the song
Of a wintry fairy land
Our cheeks are nice and rosy
And comfy cozy are we
We're snuggled up together like two
Birds of a feather would be
Let's take the road before us
And sing a chorus or two
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
There's a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray
It'll be the perfect ending of a perfect day
We'll be singing the songs we love to sing without a single stop
At the fireplace while we watch the chestnuts pop
Pop! Pop! Pop!
There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy
When they pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie
It'll nearly be like a picture print by Currier and Ives
These wonderful things are the things
We remember all through our lives
Just here those sleigh bells jingling
Ring ting tingling too
Come on it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "You Hoo"
Come on it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
It's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
It's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you…"
The ending brought about polite applause from the Elves that were still present in the Hall. Estel was smiling happily, though I could see his eyes drooping. Exhaustion was overtaking him. There was one last Carol for the minstrels to play, and as it was similar to 'Away in a Manger,' I knew it would put him to sleep. He'd enjoyed himself greatly, but now he needed to rest.
"Lady 'Lissien," came Estel's slightly muffled voice. I looked down and saw he was leaning against me heavily, his eyes nearly shut. But there was still a faint spark of alertness in his eyes that allowed him the ability to speak.
"Yes, little one?"
"D' you thin' Momma 'n Poppa woul' mind if I call' you 'n Lor' 'Lrond Nana 'n Ada…"
My eyes widened in surprise and slid towards Ada. He too looked shocked, but there was something else in his eyes… Was he going against his own advice? The suggestion that one not get too attached to a person's whose life was so brief in the eyes of the Elves? A smile pulled at my lips. Ada loved the child in my arms, just as much as I did. Turning my gaze back to the boy in my lap, I gave him my response.
"Estel, I do not think they would mind. They know you will always love them and never forget them, but I do not believe they would begrudge you for loving others as well," I said, gently stroking his back.
The smile on his face was brighter than the morning dawn. Looking over to the minstrels, I gave them a nod. Estel needs his rest, and I think the final song would give him that. The nightmares would not plague him this night, of that I was adamant.
"Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
'Round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night, holy night
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing alleluia
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth
Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Christ, the Savior, is born!
Christ, the Savior, is born!"
I whispered the last few lines of the song, as Estel's head now leaned heavily against me. Sleep had completely overtaken him. Irmo, I think, will give him naught but happy dreams this night.
Ada had stood by then, and carefully took the sleeping child from me, intending to carry him off to his bed. I moved to follow, but something caught my gaze.
Or rather… *someone.*
Glorfindel sat across the room, several maidens nearby, clearly fawning over him. That was no surprise. Many a maid vied for his attention. What was a surprise was that his clear blue eyes were locked on me. On *me.* Why was he staring at me so?
Slowly, as if hearing my question, a smirk spread across his lips. With a devilish attitude, he raised his wine glass to me, clearly giving me a toast.
I felt my face flush, but I did not move. What was Glorfindel doing to me? Just hours before, I had bestowed a kiss on his cheek, calling him one of the sweetest Elves I knew. But this Glorfindel, the one that was staring at me with a frank appraisal that I had seen only rarely in a male's eyes, there was nothing sweet about him. There was something more… dark, primal, perhaps. And I, like a stag, was caught in the cunning trap of the hunter.
It was then I recalled Ada's words from several nights before. 'As fond as Glorfindel is of you…' We'd been discussing both Glorfindel and Erestor, but he had not included the second seneschal in that statement. Did Ada know something I did not?
I would have to find out, if there was any chance of removing myself from Glorfindel's provocative gaze. I had been attempting to turn away from those piercing eyes, but always my eyes were drawn back to his. What was more, he knew it. His eyes sparkled… was that triumph I saw in them? If he was believing he had one a victory of some sort, I found I could do nothing to stop that notion. My body was on fire, tingling with anticipation.
And as quickly as he had caught me, Glorfindel released me, turning his gaze to Erestor, who had come to speak with him on some matter. I fought to restrain a gasp, nearly staggering back into my chair. It had been as if Glorfindel had been physically restraining me, only to abruptly let me go, allowing my struggling momentum to carry me backwards. I still caught myself on the arm of the chair and managed to stay upright, my eyes glued now to Glorfindel's profile. He behaved as if nothing had occurred.
I was torn between gratitude that the moment was over and could now be forgotten and anger that he appeared so unaffected, while I undoubtedly seemed to be a quivering, shaking mess. In determination, I grit my teeth. I would not have anyone see that the first seneschal had caused Imladris's Lady to lose her composure with a glance. I was thankful no one gave the impression of having seen the looks that had passed between us.
Glorfindel's eyes were now flickering towards me again, but before he could catch me unawares again, I made to leave, my head held high. I would not be the stag to his hunter again. Not if it was in my power.
But even as I left the Hall of Fire, a pleasant smile on my face for the sake of all those I passed by, I felt those striking blue orbs burning into my back the entire time. But the spell seemed to lift as I came to the hallway. It must have been the atmosphere of the hall, combined with the abundance of wine that flowed all evening, that had caused those passion-filled moments. The Hall of Fire was famous among Elves for causing feelings to ignite, only to have them extinguish the moment they left.
I hurried down the halls toward Estel's rooms, doing my best to calm my raging emotions. When I arrived, I found Ada had already laid the sleeping child under his blankets and was pulling them up to his chin. I watched from the doorway as Ada leaned down and kissed him on the forehead, whispering, "Sleep well this night, my son. You have found your place. There is no need to fear."
My heart's pounding almost completely faded when I heard those words, filling me with tenderness. I was witnessing the birth of a new family, and this was just as precious and holy as any other. And as Ada came towards me, I knew I had finally found peace. I leaned against him, my eyes still on Estel… my son. I knew Small Lady and the others were watching, and smiling. I was happy again, with Ada and Estel. Though my siblings were not here, I knew they loved me as I cherished them. We were, in a sense, all together.
And that, I think, is the most wonderful Christmas miracle any could think to bestow.