Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 5 years after arriving at Hogwarts, Fred and George discover more than a brotherly interest in each other...
Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns every single thing here. Except the crazy plot (plot?), Paul Walker- whom we both own, the PlayGirl magazine which belongs to Ron and Last Of The Mohicans which some of the guys are going to get together later on tonight and read.
Chapter Two: Lucius's Revenge
So next time he's sleeping in his room
We're gonna sneak in and tie him
The we'll take him out into the street
And see if someone will buy him
Brother for sale
Only 50 cents
- The Olsen Twins, "Brother For Sale"
~
Breathlessly, both houses ran hungrily into the Great Hall (skipping gaily in the daisies by Greenhouse 2 sure builds up an appetite!) as it was time for lunch!
Dean Thomas put up his West Life poster. "Seamus, who's your favorite teacher?"
Seamus giggled and hid behind his pumpkin juice, glancing at his favorite hook-nosed black-greasy-haired Professor, who winked merrily at him in return. "That's for ME to know and for YOU never to find out! Where the fuck is me lucky charms?" Ron passed Seamus the box of Lucky Charms cereal.
"Males here!" squealed Paul Walker.
"Yes Neville, we know there are males here." Hermione sighed.
No, I mean, the mails here!" Suddenly the entire Great Hall was filled with owls carrying various-shaped parcels. Goyle's owl Wibble dropped a pair of clean underwear in his hands.
"Can I borrow this?" Harry pointed to the Playgirl magazine that Ron's crappy owl had left for him. Ron nodded, somewhat reluctant to part with the precious magazine which had cost him his life-savings: 7 Knuts.
Harry opened the magazine and found an interesting article on a place that looked very familiar to him. Irish eyes popped out from over Harry's shoulder.
"Hey Harry, do ya think I could borrow that magazine that yer got thay're?" But Harry ignored Seamus's silent plea's.
"Hey Ron, look at this." Hermione cried. Ron leaned over to see what Harry was pointing at. "That's the strip club Hagrid took me to. He hired one of the people from Room 713! And look! It says here that the room in question, Room 713 was emptied earlier that day!" Ron's eyes widened and opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Dean Thomas's snarl. "Hey look! Neville's got a hickey!"
"Oh Fred! Not again!" Hermione nudged one of the Twins.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George!"
"Honestly woman, you call yourselves our brother!" Crabbe laughed so hard that pumpkin juice sprayed out of his nose and rained down all of Hogwarts.
Seamus suddenly went into a coughing fit, trying to disguise the sound of ripping out the magazine pages from Harry's and Ron's magazine.
"What's Seamus trying to do?" Harry asked. Ron popped out from behind the centerfold and made some handicapped noises. "*handicapped noise* Harry, yay *handicapped noise* duh Harry. Trying to turn water into rum *handicapped noise*."
And that signaled the end of lunch and everyone headed off to their next class which was Turban Studies with Professor Quirrell.
"What house do we have this class with?" Ron rapped.
"Ohh no not Slytherin, not Slytherin... anything but Slytherin..." Neville murmered.
"You could be great in Slytherin you know..." Susan Bones hissed into Harry Potters ear.
The rest of the classed crawled along to the cloth room while Draco trailed behind, trying to get a good look at Potters ass.
Suddenly everyone was seated in the cloth room.
Seamus roared like an Irish lion.
"Hey Harrykins, didn't you kill Quirrell four years ago when he was trying to get the Philosophers Stone?" McGonagall mewed. But before Harry could answer Draco's proposition, Professor Quirrell swept into the room, sending dust particles up everyone's nose. Lucky for Neville they weren't giant dust particles.
He put down his pot plant and addressed the room. "Eeeeeeeee! Sskahdeuiwyriwdknasdnamsd!"
Everyone nodded and started taking notes on todays lesson, which was on Sex Education. Ron's face turned as red as his freckles as the Professor was describing in detail how exactly to cover a Voldemort face on the back of your head with a stylish purple turban wrap.
Suddenly the class was over and everyone trickled out of the broom closet like a leaky tap that someone forgot to turn off all the way.
Harry rubbed his arm, which was sore from Seamus nudging his arm every time the Professor said the word 'sex'. Harry rubbed his eye, which was sore from winking at Draco every time the Professor said the word 'sex' also.
Suddenly everyone was in the Gryffindor common room.
"Come on guys! Lets play Indian Whispers!" Dean Thomas argued.
"Oh Dean!" Seamus slapped Dean Thomas playfully on the backside.
"Yay Dean Thomas. The game originated in CHINA not INDIA that's why its called INDIAN WHSIPERS." Ron exclaimed.
Neville was uncomfortably squashed in between a Hippogriff and Professor Sprout, as when I said everyone was in the Gryffindor Common room, I mean EVERYONE.
Marcus Flint, the Slytherin Quidditch Captain who had neglected his Dental Care for godknows how many years now, received a death glare from Hermione and a Dental care pack which she nicked from her parents office. He decided that this was a good enough reason for him to start the round of Indian Whispers. "I haven't brushed in 27 years..." he secretly toothily whispered to Blast-Ended Skrewt #5. The Skrewt coiled up in disgust at his fellow classmate's neglect of Dental Care, but leaned skankily over to Mad-Eye Moody.
"A few of the guys are gonna get together later on tonight and watch Dawson's Creek." Moody's magic eye swiveled around in his socket, catching a peek at Draco and Harry and Fred playing 'Doctor' 4 rooms away..... Moody grunted and pulled Chow closer, and closer, and closer until she could feel his eye rolling around in his socket.
"Nice socks Chow..." He hoarsely whispered, sending a chill up Chows spine.
"But I'm not wearing *any* socks" Chow secretly hidden whispered back. Then she turned to Crabbe, but then turned to Goyle because she thought Crabbe was just a moss covered boulder. "You could be great you know, its all in your head" Chow winked. Goyle grasped Susan Bones by her bone.
"The square root of Pythagarus times one hundred in the North-East sky, rotated on a 30 degree angle multiplied by the division of B has an equal to the much simpler equation, I love you Neville....." Susan nodded bone and pulled Ginny close- but not bone too close- with her boney bones. "Did you bone know that the body has 496 bones?"
Ginny blushed and put her elbow bone in the butter bone dish. She dragged Harry away from his game of 'Operation' and whispered into his ear. "GINNY WEASLY = I AM LORD WEASLEY."
Harry gurgled and grabbed Draco roughly by the shoulders and pulled him as close as possible. "Tried to get a hold of you last night, called you on the phone, thinkin' to myself something ain't right, girl are you alone? Letting little things come between us, all we do is fuss, when all I wanna do is show you love so I say, hold up! I'm tired of all these lies, hold up! If you wanna make things right, and I say, hold up! I'm tired of all these lies, hold up! Cause if you wanna make things right, you got to giddy up, giddy up now, I gotta giddy up, giddy up, giddy up now, I gotta giddy up, Giddy up, giddy up now." Harry whispered seductively to Draco, using every ounce of will power not to jump the sexy Slytherin's BONES. Susan Bones nodded. Draco pondered if Harry really was one of the guys from NSync. After all, he did look remarkably like the Kevin guy. Or was it Howie?
Professor Trelawney predicted that Draco would be the last one in the circle so he got to say the sentence out loud. Wow, Professor Trelawney's prediction came true! Draco jumped up on Lee Jordan's shoulders. "Some of the guys are gonna get together later on tonight and read the Last of the Mohicans." he cried triumphantly, trumpet fanfare playing in the background. Lee Jordan jumped up and down much like a vibrating cell phone, his huge mouth glowing with his white teeth. Marcus Flint took note of this whiteness.
Suddenly everyone dispersed and went back to their own dorm rooms, some went on to read Last Of The Mohicans.
A.N: Thanks for all the great reviews guys! Yes, there will be a lot more chapters to come, don't worry! Don't forget, if you haven't already... PLEASE review! Review! Review!
A.N 2: Fixed a few mistakes 01-04-02.