Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 5 years after arriving at Hogwarts, Seamus embarks on a personal journey of Self-Discovery and meets many obstacles on the way.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all characters are created by J.K Rowling. Seamus's dodgyness are created by us. Lance and Justin are property of 'NSync.
Chapter Three: Harry Potter Goes To Monsters Inc.
I've got a special friend
That I see each day
We like to sit and talk
Sometimes we just play
Do you know who I'm talking about?
Gonna let my secret out
Grandma, that's who
- The Moffatts, "Grandma"
~
Meanwhile in the Gryffindor Girls Dormitories...
"Oh don't you all think that Fred is absolutely de-vine?" Seamus Irisheyesd.
"No way Hermione! George is SO much finer!" Lavender Brown, a Gryffindor girl in the same year as the scarred boy who lived said, sparking up her joint.
"Yeah but Fred has a better name!" Patty Patal said she was in the girls bathrooms all day... cryin'!
"But George has moles on his neck!" Pansy snarled.
"Girls girls, its common knowledge that Fred is the hotter twin. George is just plain ugly." Everyone agreed with George, and the group decided to kick Chow out because she was wrong and they were all right.
Meanwhile in the Gryffindor Boys Dormitories...
"Oh don't you all think that Fred is absolutely de-vine?" Seamus Irisheyesd, while brushing Neville's hair.
"No way Hermione! George is SO much finer!" Dean Thomas, a Gryffindor boy in the same year as the scarred boy who lived said, sparking up her joint.
"Yeah but Fred has a better name!" George argued.
"But George has moles on his neck!" Ron decided, taking a hit of the marijuana, commonly known as 'weed' or 'hash'.
"Girls girls, its common knowledge that Fred is the hotter twin. George is just plain ugly." Everyone agreed with Seamus.
Previously in the Gryffindor Girls Dormitories...
Suddenly everyone was changed into their nightwear. Millicent Bulstrode, who was fondly known as 'Millie', was sporting a very nice nightshirt from the Mens Department in Farmers. The nice shade of grey complemented her butt-ugly face. Susan Bones pulled out bone an old Halloween costume, which was bone a black full-bodied jump-suit with bone glow-in-the-dark bones all over it, much bone like a skeleton. Patty Patal was still in the Girls Bathrooms.......................... cryin'.
"OkAy gIrLfRiEnDz, lets talk about BOYS!" Hermione squealed, always the one to bring up the topic of boys. They all threw Pansy out because they knew that this conversation would most likely end in a human sacrifice for Draco.
"Oh don't you all think that Fred is absolutely de-vine?" Seamus Irisheyesd.
Previously in the Gryffindor Boys Dormitories...
Everyron (except Harry who was admiring himself) admired Seamus's nice new Boyzone Bloomers, which came in his membership to the Official Boyzone Fan club and did you know that he was one of TWO fans in New Zealand? Wow! I sure didn't!
The boys all gathered on Ron's bed because his sheets were the softest and everyone preferred Ron's smell. They pulled the curtains closed around the four-poster bed.
Dean Thomas wondered why Seamus had that odd smile on his face, but then he noticed that Seamus was in fact sitting on Scabbers, also known as Wormtail, Voldemort's right-hand man. Old man. Very old man.
"Lets talk about girls!" Harry crawled.
"Nah, lets talk about Fred and George." Fred suggested.
"Oh don't you all think that Fred is absolutely de-vine?" Seamus Irisheyesd, while brushing Neville's hair.
The next morning...
Suddenly it was morning. Vernon had 'accidentally' fallen asleep on Ron's bed.
Ron was drooling on Dean Thomas's arm. Dean Thomas was drooling on Crabbe's eyebrow. Crabbe was drooling on Fred's elbow. Fred was drooling on Neville's kneecap. Neville was drooling on Susan Bone's bone. Harry was drooling on Draco. And that was that. Suddenly, they were all in the great hall for breakfast, all wiping drool off various parts of their bodies.
"I have a special announcement" Dumbledore heart-attacked. "I am very pleased to announce that it is Adrian Puccey's birthday today! Happy Birthday Age!" Dumbledore fondly flirted. The Hall was filled with curious murmurs about who this Age person was. Nobody knew who the fuck this guy was. Everyone shrugged in sync (studio laughs and claps) and began drinking their pumpkin juice. However, there was one more disruption that would disrupt breakfast. Harry didn't know what had come over him. He stood and jumped up on the table, 'accidentally' kicking Chow in the face.
"I'm sick of Pumpkin juice!" Harry threw his drink at Snape.
Justin Finch-Fletcherly clawed at Harry's robe.
Everyone stood up and threw their hats in the air. Lee Jordan was screaming for joy and bouncing up and down like a vibrating cell-phone, with his mouth wide open. Seamus shook somebody's hand rather enthusiastically, nearly pulling Susan's bones out of her socket- excuse the pun!!!
"What's Seamus trying to do?" Harry asked. Ron popped out from behind the shoulder blade and made some handicapped noises. "*handicapped noise* Harry, yay *handicapped noise* duh Harry. Trying to turn water into rum *handicapped noise*."
Suddenly Harry decided he didn't want to go to class today so he went back up to his dorm. Draco followed him. Soon, Draco and Harry were playing a game of Twister. Only, they didn't have the special mat with the colored dots on it. And they also didn't have the board with the wheel that you had to spin.
"Dude, this is so much more narly than History-O-Magic!" Terry Boot booted. Harry agreed with Draco and they kept "playing" "twister". Little did they know the fun and excitement that was going down in History of Magic!
"What chapter of Last Of The Mohicans are you up to?" Colin Creevy mocked.... get it... Mochirie...
But nobody paid any attention to Dennis, as they were all on the edge of their seats, watching Professor Binns trying to turn a bin into a Professor.
The class was suddenly finished, with everyone on a new perspective on twins fresh in there minds. Neville's eyes peeled towards to Fat Lady Portrait, which all the Gryffindors were suddenly standing outside.
"Well, is somebody going to say the password?" Blaise cried. Ron gulped and said 'Crabbes R Kewl'. The door swung open and everyron gasped at what they saw.
"What's Seamus trying to do?"
TO BE CONTINUED.....
A.N: Ooo a cliffhanger! What does everyone see? What exactly IS Seamus trying to do? Is it true Gandalf? Is there *really* a ring? Who is Adrian Puccey? Did Professor Binns really turn a bin into a Professor? Will Justin accept Lance's marriage proposal? Find out in the next chapter!