Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 5 years after arriving at Hogwarts, the students finally are allowed to celebrate Hanukkah, even though its in their own special way. Guest stars Justin Timberlake and Brian "B-Rock TM" Backstreet.
Disclaimer: Rowling = Harry Potter. slytherinsRsexyer7283/beater#4 = Crazy.
Chapter Five: The Great Snapple-Caper
Ah, ahhhhhhhh....
Everywhere you look (everywhere you look)
There's a heart (there's a heart)
A hand to hold onto
Everywhere you look (everywhere you look)
There's a face
Of somebody who needs you
- Full House Theme Song
~
Meanwhile in Snape's dungeons... if you thought Crabbe and Goyle went back to the Slytherin Common room you were wrong!
The hook-nosed black-greasy-haired Master of Potions swept into his dungeon, making Crabbe and Goyle jump in surprizzzze.
"Mr Crabbe.... Mr Goyle... my.... new.... helpers." Snape drawled, taking a swing from his hit-flask from under his robes. "Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed... care to join?" Crabbe and Goyle were overcome with joy and quickly fumbled with their robe clasps for some unknown reason. Snape, Crabbe and Goyle made their way merrily down to the dungeons, skipping hand-in-hand.
Unknowingly, they passed a crappy Ravenclaw girl by the name of Chow who was dragging the decomposing corpse of her boyfriend down the hall, hidden in shadows. Barty crouched down, not wanting to be seen.
Back in the Gryffindor part of the school, spirits were high and boisterous. The sandy-haired boy Seamus had stumbled upon pay-per-view porn while skipping through the channels and had somehow found a way to view the channel without paying.
Dean Thomas put up his West Avenue poster.
Meanwhile Jenna, a Ravenclaw nobody said stoneily drugily, "What's going oooonn...!" and woke up inside Dumbledore's robe.
Suddenly the whole Harry Potter cast and crew piled into Dumbledore. For this very special old man- special needs! Hahahahaha, had a very special announcement to make. Orla Quirke quirked quirkily while Seamus painted his toenails a fashionably fashionable shade of burgundy.
Everyone crawled out of Dumbledore's vomit, spewing out of the pensioners mouth like an uncorked wine bottle.
"I have an announcement to make..." the Hospital Wing were on stand-by just incase Dumble had another heart-attack. "Halloween is fast approaching..." he paused to clutch his heart. "...and we all are to dress up and knock on our classroom doors- which will be dressed as houses with numbers and letter boxes and flower gardens and white picket fences. Beware of the dog. The teachers will be dressed as friendly neighborhood folk."
"...my brother CHARLIE in ROMANIA..." Ron romained.
"SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!" Dumbledore heartily clutched. "That is all."
Suddenly magically suspiciously chamberly secretly hidden meanwhiled the very next day happened to be Halloween!
Harry couldn't find his glasses or his clothes and decided to go as Voldemort.
Meanwhile, in the Slytherin dorms, Draco put on Harry's glasses and Harry's clothes. Seamus got lost and skipped into Draco's room.
"Ha ha tricked ya I'm a submarine!" Tom riddled.
Dean Thomas put up his West Irish Popstars poster.
Dean Thomas glued all his West... posters together and made a huge West poster on the West side of the tower.
"Treffor! You shouldn't be here!" Marcus Flint plaqued.
Neville had decided to go as his Grandma crossed with his toad because he forgot where he put his Remembrall costume.
Patty Patil, who was still in the girls bathroom all day....................................... cryin' laughed at Susan's costume.
"Aren't those your pajamas?" Hermione shrieked.
"Yes bone but they bone make such a good bone Hallobone costume!" Susan cracked- a joke, not a bone!
Chow was no where to be seen.... or so we thought..... DUN DUN.......
Suddenly everyone set off trick-or-treating in random groups.
Group #1:
Ron, Terry Boot, Crabbe and Hannah Abott
"Wow hi guys!" Ron squealed, shuffling along in his homeless bum shoes and homeless bum jacket and homeless bumbag and homeless trolley filled with crap.
"Get Pennywise!" Mrs Figg passed out some figgs.
"Yo mah niggAZ wot izzz uppppp?!" Terry booted snoopily, jingling his Snoop Dog medallions and snoopy pants and other items of clothing.
Crabbe rolled along the floor because his costume was a moss-covered boulder, so he was wrapped up in a moldy mattress.
The 7 students merrily skipped along to the first house/class which was........
Group #2:
Harry and Draco
Harry and Draco met up. Harry scowled because Draco had stolen Harry's clothes and Harry's glasses. Harry hoped he was scowling in the right direction because he was blind as bat without his glasses.
Draco came up behind Harry and pinched him on Voldemort's ass.
"Draco, your scar is on the wrong side of your head." said the Hufflepuff Badger, sniveling past.
The pair walked along the stone path up to a dodgy-looking house that was number 6 Privet Drive.
But before they even raised their arm up to knock, the door burst open and they were met with smiling Irish eyes.
"Hello children!" Lucius cackled much like an old man who taps on the window with a stone.
"Um... trick or treat?" Harry tricked.
"Ooohhhhh trick! I choose trick!!" Lucius invited them inside. But Draco knew better.
"Um... okay... err..." Harry flirted.
"Um... 'Avada Kedavra!'" Draco waved his wand, trickingly. Lucius fake-died and threw candy at them which was filled with razor blades. The scarred boy who lived and his arch-nemesis ate the candy off each other and skipped to the next house.
Group #3:
Justin Finch-Fletcherly, Seamus, Ginny and Fred
"I'm not Fred, I'm George!" Fred Halloween-costumed.
Justin Finch Fletcherly was proudly dressed as the Hufflepuff badger and kept sniffing Fred. Or was it George? No wait, it was Fred... no really, it was George.
Seamus scattered four-leaf clovers along the wooden path they walked to the house/class. He was going as his favorite person in the Irish world- the Boys own/West lives/Irish pop stars manager!!!!! Yay!
"We got Seamus! We got Justin!" Quirrell marched.
"So Fred- I mean, George..." Seamus ginnyed... "Do you like my costume?" A cold Irish chill went up George's spine, but then he realized it was just Seamus's nose.
Ginny was dressed as Bridget Jones, her fave diary writer! Ahe!
"Dear Diary, today I am Bridget Jones and the Slytherin mascot tried to snake me." Ginny rumbled.
Soon they reached a house/class driveway, which they found to be littered with raisin packets to save them the trouble of going to the door and asking for candy. Also it was fun collecting the packets. Fun!
Group #4:
Hermione, Marcus Flint, Susan Bones, Goyle, Oliver Wood and Dobby.
"Herm-io-ne Grang-er" McGonagall sung.
"What the fuck do you want bitch?" Hermione said witchily, adjusting her pointed hat and sparkly black dress.
Oliver Wood grinned, trying not to set fire to himself because as his costume was a piece of kindling and he was so darn hot...... haha!
"I got here early so I got to be cowboy guy" Micheal removed the corns from his foot.
Colin Creevy snapped a picture, from inside his roll-o-film TM costume.
"I'm Fugi Film!" Dennis creeved creevingly.
"Knockity-knock!" Susan boned, snapping her arm bone which was connected to her hand bone.
In a flash, Snape snapped open the door, drinking a can of Snapple.
"Why hello children... how's it hanging? Or should I say......... boning?" He nodded at Susan, nudging Sirius.
"Candy cane....." some dodgy truck driver radioed.
Snape poured some potions into their plastic pumpkin buckets and skiddoo-ed into the open book on the ground.
But the next group, Neville and George didn't have a group number so they walked aimlessly around the halls with Percy as their group supervisor.
"Come on, hurry up, move along.... quickly, come on now, get a move on, hurry up...... quickly!" Percy prefected.
And then....
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A.N: Happy Halloween everybody! Don't take candy from strangers and don't go into anybody's houses you don't know- especially if they look like Filch! Have a safe Easter!