Title: How come your arms are not around me (1/?)
Author: Jessica
Email: j_rothen@yahoo.se
Distribution: Wherever...just let me know where
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG
Category: Romance, AU, angst, V
Feedback: YES please....j_rothen@yahoo.se
Pairing: Lorelai/Luke, Lorelai/Christopher
Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.
Summary: As Luke and Lorelai finally begin to explore
their new relationship Christopher returns to Stars Hollow...
AUTHORS NOTE: Title is from a song by Kristoffer Astrom.
English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar
mistakes may occur.
----------------------------------------------
"I still don't know what love is...."
--------------------------------------
How come your arms is not around me
by: Jessica
----------------------------------------
It's not like the house is dangerous or something.
It would be so simple to just walk up to the
front door and ring the bell.
But then I would know.
And I would surely die.
Instead I will linger here.
While my heart is slowly breaking.
--------------------------------------
Five days earlier.
.....................
She is sleeping now.
Her face is so calm.
All the pain that has marked her face during the years
is gone now and replaced with a sense of peace.
I know that I should be sleeping but I can't.
The moon makes its way into the room as I rise.
Feeling weary tonight.
My body is feeling weightless as I move.
I can still taste her.
Her scent lingers in every corner of this room.
The need to run came suddenly as I moved away from the bed and her.
A part of me needed distance from the complete powerlessness I
felt in her arms.
The other part of me wanted to go to her
and surrender to the feelings that raged inside of me.
I lingered there for a while,
watching her.
Taking her in.
The beauty that was Lorelai Gilmore.
Her skin seems to shine just like silver in the moonlight.
Or maybe it was just my mind playing tricks with me.
Sometimes I fear that I will lose myself in her.
I have never had love consume me like this.
Feeling so powerless and so strong in the same heartbeat.
It feels like I have known her forever.
Several lifetimes.
My mind seems to not comprehend life without her.
And that scares me.
Maybe I have already lost myself.
Maybe it's time to let go.
------------------------
I woke slowly.
The sun pierced through the window and warmed
my face as I dared to open my eyes.
I rolled over to my side and reached for him
only to find an empty space beside me in the bed.
His scent still lingered in the sheets and
for a single moment I closed my eyes.
The clock on my bedside table showed little after
seven in the morning.
Normally I would have just turned around and gone
back to sleep.
But since he came into my life I had started to
get up when he did.
Even on weekends.
He always woke me with a kiss before he left.
But not today.
The house was still as I rose.
I made my way into the bathroom to stand under the shower
for a while.
My lips were still swollen from last night.
His hands seemed to have burned into my skin,
leaving me longing for more.
I missed his mouth on me.
His arms around me.
His hands.
The magic in his touch.
Everything that was Luke Danes.
It scared me sometimes.
The power he had over me.
But in the same time I wanted to surrender.
I wanted to tear down the walls I had around my heart.
The walls I had maintained so well during the years.
That so easily came crashing down.
Only to be risen once again.
So I wanted to surrender.
To finally let go.
And give myself totally to him.
No holding back this time.
But fear kept gripping at my heart.
Of drowning in him.
Of giving myself totally.
Only to lose everything.
-----------------------------------
Boston
--------------------------
Darkness surrounded Christopher on all sides
as he walked.
He had drifted in and out of bars and clubs,
trying to find what he so desperately needed.
Peace.
Trying to replace memories of the evening before.
That evening when everything came crashing down on him.
He hadn't meant the harsh words he had said.
He had been hurt and angry.
Tired.
He had acted stupid.
He realized that now.
Afterwards the words had seemed to linger in the air
between them just like a huge, black cloud.
Then the pain showed its ugly face.
It flashed across her face only to be replaced with anger.
Then the angry fist came crashing down on him.
He let her be.
Afterwards, when the rage inside of her subsided he
had tried to make amends for all the things he had said.
But it was too late.
She drew back into her protective shell and
refused to let him in.
Forgiveness was pleaded for.
Only to fall on deaf ears.
Then the need of self-protection came
and she demanded distance.
So he fled out on to the streets.
Thinking time could mend her heart.
He had come crawling back five hours later.
He had even bought flowers.
Roses.
Her favorite kind.
But all he found was an empty apartment.
And a letter.
As Christopher climbed on top of his motorcycle it
was her words that kept ringing in his ears.
Those words he had so stupidly spoken was now
returned to him in a well-written letter.
Harsh words whose only mission was to hurt him even more.
Anger filled him as he turned the key and the beast under
him came to life.
He needed distance he proclaimed to the night.
He needed away from the city and all the pressure it held.
He wanted another life.
Another city.
Another something.
He wanted to escape.
So he fled.
He fled to the life he had left behind.
As the sun rose over the city he turned his bike
towards the home he had left once.
Stars Hollow.
To Lorelai.
And Rory.
Home.
------------------------------
Feedback j_rothen@yahoo.se
Author: Jessica
Email: j_rothen@yahoo.se
Distribution: Wherever...just let me know where
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG
Category: Romance, AU, angst, V
Feedback: YES please....j_rothen@yahoo.se
Pairing: Lorelai/Luke, Lorelai/Christopher
Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.
Summary: As Luke and Lorelai finally begin to explore
their new relationship Christopher returns to Stars Hollow...
AUTHORS NOTE: Title is from a song by Kristoffer Astrom.
English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar
mistakes may occur.
----------------------------------------------
"I still don't know what love is...."
--------------------------------------
How come your arms is not around me
by: Jessica
----------------------------------------
It's not like the house is dangerous or something.
It would be so simple to just walk up to the
front door and ring the bell.
But then I would know.
And I would surely die.
Instead I will linger here.
While my heart is slowly breaking.
--------------------------------------
Five days earlier.
.....................
She is sleeping now.
Her face is so calm.
All the pain that has marked her face during the years
is gone now and replaced with a sense of peace.
I know that I should be sleeping but I can't.
The moon makes its way into the room as I rise.
Feeling weary tonight.
My body is feeling weightless as I move.
I can still taste her.
Her scent lingers in every corner of this room.
The need to run came suddenly as I moved away from the bed and her.
A part of me needed distance from the complete powerlessness I
felt in her arms.
The other part of me wanted to go to her
and surrender to the feelings that raged inside of me.
I lingered there for a while,
watching her.
Taking her in.
The beauty that was Lorelai Gilmore.
Her skin seems to shine just like silver in the moonlight.
Or maybe it was just my mind playing tricks with me.
Sometimes I fear that I will lose myself in her.
I have never had love consume me like this.
Feeling so powerless and so strong in the same heartbeat.
It feels like I have known her forever.
Several lifetimes.
My mind seems to not comprehend life without her.
And that scares me.
Maybe I have already lost myself.
Maybe it's time to let go.
------------------------
I woke slowly.
The sun pierced through the window and warmed
my face as I dared to open my eyes.
I rolled over to my side and reached for him
only to find an empty space beside me in the bed.
His scent still lingered in the sheets and
for a single moment I closed my eyes.
The clock on my bedside table showed little after
seven in the morning.
Normally I would have just turned around and gone
back to sleep.
But since he came into my life I had started to
get up when he did.
Even on weekends.
He always woke me with a kiss before he left.
But not today.
The house was still as I rose.
I made my way into the bathroom to stand under the shower
for a while.
My lips were still swollen from last night.
His hands seemed to have burned into my skin,
leaving me longing for more.
I missed his mouth on me.
His arms around me.
His hands.
The magic in his touch.
Everything that was Luke Danes.
It scared me sometimes.
The power he had over me.
But in the same time I wanted to surrender.
I wanted to tear down the walls I had around my heart.
The walls I had maintained so well during the years.
That so easily came crashing down.
Only to be risen once again.
So I wanted to surrender.
To finally let go.
And give myself totally to him.
No holding back this time.
But fear kept gripping at my heart.
Of drowning in him.
Of giving myself totally.
Only to lose everything.
-----------------------------------
Boston
--------------------------
Darkness surrounded Christopher on all sides
as he walked.
He had drifted in and out of bars and clubs,
trying to find what he so desperately needed.
Peace.
Trying to replace memories of the evening before.
That evening when everything came crashing down on him.
He hadn't meant the harsh words he had said.
He had been hurt and angry.
Tired.
He had acted stupid.
He realized that now.
Afterwards the words had seemed to linger in the air
between them just like a huge, black cloud.
Then the pain showed its ugly face.
It flashed across her face only to be replaced with anger.
Then the angry fist came crashing down on him.
He let her be.
Afterwards, when the rage inside of her subsided he
had tried to make amends for all the things he had said.
But it was too late.
She drew back into her protective shell and
refused to let him in.
Forgiveness was pleaded for.
Only to fall on deaf ears.
Then the need of self-protection came
and she demanded distance.
So he fled out on to the streets.
Thinking time could mend her heart.
He had come crawling back five hours later.
He had even bought flowers.
Roses.
Her favorite kind.
But all he found was an empty apartment.
And a letter.
As Christopher climbed on top of his motorcycle it
was her words that kept ringing in his ears.
Those words he had so stupidly spoken was now
returned to him in a well-written letter.
Harsh words whose only mission was to hurt him even more.
Anger filled him as he turned the key and the beast under
him came to life.
He needed distance he proclaimed to the night.
He needed away from the city and all the pressure it held.
He wanted another life.
Another city.
Another something.
He wanted to escape.
So he fled.
He fled to the life he had left behind.
As the sun rose over the city he turned his bike
towards the home he had left once.
Stars Hollow.
To Lorelai.
And Rory.
Home.
------------------------------
Feedback j_rothen@yahoo.se