Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 5 years after arriving at Hogwarts, Sally-Anne Perks wakes up to find a stranger in her house who has some bad news...
Disclaimer: Rowling, J.K is the magic behind Harry Potter. We're the magic behind Seamus Finnegan.
Chapter Ten: The Te Of Pacey
Lookin' back on where we first met
Yeah
- Irish Popstars, "Crappy Guy"
~
"Hi..." Seamus winked from the other side of the room which was empty. Oliver Wood winked back from the Quidditch Pitch while flying on his broom because he was Keeper of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team and Captain too!
Dean Thomas put up his West Side Story poster. Everyone was hungover from the night before which was Adrian Puccey's Birthday Bash. Nobody could remember what had happened, or who Adrian Puccey was- except Seamus who was keeping that information to his Irish self.
"Oh no we have Computer Programming with Slytherin!" Colin Creevy snapped.
"Difficult.... very difficult..." Madam Pince pinced with her pincers.
"Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness...." Hermione breathed.
"There's no doubt about that!" Bill grin gotted weasley.
"Better be........ GRYFFINDOR!" Harry coughed.
"We got Potter! We got Potter!" Leslie Phillips sorted.
They all scurried along to wand practice with Ollivander which they had with Slytherin.
"A waand?" Hagrid said with an American accent as everyone sat down behind the wand box shelves.
"I've been expecting this class for a long time now..." Ollivander crustily spoke, coming really close to the people. Mr T could feel Ollivander's whiskers pricking his Blast Ended Skrewt.
"Is that what you call it nowadays?" Doc did that scary eye thing.
"Now everybody, pull out your wands- NO Seamus, not that wand... and pull out your OWN wands please."
Everyone set to work on the assignment they got assigned to and started a class discussion about Ron, who at the moment was too poor to attend class today.
"I just found out who that RON COLLECTION BIN is for! Its for Seamus, I tell ya!" Tom Riddle accused the sandy haired Irish leprechaun lover.
"Well I heard it was for Hannah Abott..." Ron laughed nervously.
"Dumbledore just confirmed that the RON COLLECTION BIN is for..... Ron Weasley!" Lee Jordan commentated with his young blood. Excited whispers filled the wand store/class.
"No way!" Someone gasped.
"Get outta here!" Someone sopranoed.
"Poor Ron..." Fred laughed at his out of money brother.
"I heard Ron steals food from the Great Hall off everybody's plates while they're not looking." McGonagall sniggered.
"Did you see what he was wearing today? It's an old potato sack he stole from Dumbledore!" Neville remembered.
"No way! He told me it was a robe he bought!" Snape cried hysterically.
"Curious.." Tigger bounced.
"Ron's so poor he can't afford free things." Gringotts Goblin #2 joked comediacally.
Hermione passed around some badges that said, 'S.F.R' on them.
"What does S.F.R stand for?" Seamus said and accidentally pricked himself.
"Scraps For Ron. I'm starting a new campaign to collect food scraps for our fellow student. After every meal I'll pass around a doggy bag and if you have any scraps left on your plate please give generously."
After finishing waving their wands around and discussing their credit card declined friend, everyone climbed over to Cooking with Mr Fudge.
"Oh no, we have Cooking with Slytherin!" Goyle goyed coyly.
"Plenty of courage I see." Aunt Marge dogged dogily.
"Not a bad mind either..." Seamus dublined.
"So where shall I put you?" Buckbeak bit Hagrid on his dustbin lid sized hand.
The cooking class was run by a pudgy little old man child by the name of Corny Fudge, brother to Barty Crouch Jr.
Everyone sat in the smoky classroom, which was smoky because Hermione was piping away in the corner. Corny Fudge swept into the room stickily, wearing tacky jewelry and many shawls. "Watch out for Seamus...." he divinated and passed out in the fireplace.
Everyone moved their tables far away from the Irish man child, who was doing something dodgy with his magic 8 ball.
"What's Seamus trying to do?" Harry asked. Ron popped out from behind the divine bracelets and made some handicapped noises. "*handicapped noise* Harry, yay *handicapped noise* duh Harry. Trying to turn water into rum *handicapped noise*."
By the end of the class, everyone had a nice neat stack of chocolate fudge that 'Corny' had helped them make. Marcus Flint's teeth were especially neat because he had worked harder and earned extra credit.
"Owl time!" Pigwidgeon drawled as thousands of owls swooped down and attacked the students as they were leaving the Cooking class. Amongst all the chaos, Harry managed to find Hedwig who gave him a nicely written letter that was signed 'Dragon Malfoy'. Armando Dippet waved and flew off on his eagle owl out the window, which turned into Dumbledore who quickly died, not knowing where he was.
Harry read the letter, which said some odd things like, 'you taste like a rib cage' and 'my son is your age'. The scarred boy who lived skipped off to find Draco and thank him for the nice apple pie, wondering if there was something Draco hadn't told him...
Wibble, of course, was causing all the trouble. The gangsta thug had been trippin' with his homeboyz when some shit went down in the hood.
"Can I Phelp you?" Flitwick hooted ecstatically, shooing everyone off to their dorms. Except of course... Harry who was talking to Draco...
"Thanks for the... er... letter..." Harry WANDered.
"What? I didn't send you a letter!" Draco, a Slytherin boy in Harry's year said huskily.
"But... its signed 'Love from Dragon Malfoy'!" Harry quoted from his favorite letter.
Lucius eated his way through the wall causing death and fanned Harry. "Muahahahahahhahahahhahahhaha!"
"Ow! Someone smashed me in the mouth!" Steve Smash mouthed.
"I wrote you the letter Harry!" The Muggle Studies teacher in Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts gurgled, curling his fingers much like Arthur Weasley around his children. Snoop Dogg snooped with his dog Snoopy and rapped that he loved Harry Potter.
"But-" but a clown juggled interrupting the conversation and told them off for not going to their dorms, taking away 78 points from Ravenclaw. "Awere! Because tomorrow is Hogsmeade day!" The clown crawled away on his bike, honking his nose merrily and dragging one of the children down to the sewer with him.
That night Harry slept loudly... dreaming wonderful thoughts about a certain being named Voldemort...
"No Voldemort, don't touch me there..." Harry dream talked while Seamus sat up in his bed and listened, "Not yet while everyone's looking....." He tossed and turned. Seamus grinned.
A.N: What's going to happen with Harry's stained sheets? Did you get our clues about Lucius being their Muggle studies teacher? Wow I sure didn't!