Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 5 years after arriving at Hogwarts, The Weasley's life turns upside down when they find out Molly is pregant...again!
Disclaimer: Jay-Kay owns it ALL. Except Keyrings beige undies.
Chapter Fourteen: Draco Malfoy and the Chamber of Passion
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When you shoved it in my face
Explain it again to me
- Puddle of Mud, "Blurry"
~
Meanwhile, while everyone was gathered in the Great Hall eating mango pudding and chicken chop for breakfast, Seamus had a crazy idea- almost as crazy as 'Crazy Pants'; the crazed crazy pants wearer grazed.
Keep reading to find out what his idea is!!!
"Wow this mango pudding sure is crazy!" Krum mind-warped. Yes Krum, but not as exotic as the 'Chicken Chop'....
"Wow what is this?" Munched Malcolm Baddock.
"It's like chicken, but also like a chop!" Nibbled Blast-Ended Skrewt #13.
"I believe its called Chicken chop..." slurped and crunched Susan's Bones.
Suddenly Dawson jumped into the air with a yellow cape, a pair of funny glasses and his strange helmet. The Great Hall fell silent greatly, as the burial shroud for Dumbledore was placed over the dead old mans body.
"By Jove I've got it! Let's play I Spy!" Hermione said coolly.
"Merlin's Beard!" Ron poured (haha) a glass of carrot juice.
"Yay Ron, you're not supposed to tell us what you've spied." Doobie wienered.
"I Spy with my Irish Eye..." Seamus went first, "Something beginning with C! Eye..."
"C or I Seamus?" Rupert (Giles, not Grint!), watched.
"C. Eye...." The leppy leper leaped.
"Okay! I guess... chicken chop!" Barry Watson stoned druggily.
"Cornfoot?" Stephen guessed his own name.
"Corned feet?" Madam Rosemerta blended.
"Cornelius Fudge?" a corn on the cob said.
"Marijuana?" A Ravenclaw nobody, who was no longer the most popularist girl in school, asked. Everyone just thought it was a guess for 'I Spy' and continued their game. But really, she had a problem. A drug problem.
"Phantasmagoria?" The Grey Lady phatasmagorized.
"Cold feet?" Draco shuddered, remembering that Irish foot 8 chapters ago.
"Circus bear?" Suddenly, right after Hufflepuff won the house cup and Harry guessed right, a circus bear wearing a red hat and bow-tie jumped up on the table. Ron growled loudly as it knocked over his mango pudding and chicken chop, but soon forgot all his anger as some pretty catchy jingle music started to play. Everyone looked up as the Circus Bear started to wiggle its hips and dance, mesmerizing the entire Harry Potter cast.
"We share all the food like a family!" Dean Thomas stated proudly.
Hermione had already started S.A.C.B - Sponsor a Circus Bear - and was passing out badges and fliers.
"Less than a dollar a day? Wow that's cheaper then sponsoring Ron." Neville promptly cancelled his sponsorship with Ron as he kept one eye on the mesmerizing bear.
As the song sadly came to its end, the Circus Bear floated mesmerizing away to the enchanted ceiling and beyond (which, by the way, is bewitched to look like the night sky).
"Oh no we have ROD Hunting with Slytherin!" Lavender said transparently.
"Hmm... HUFFLEPUFF!" Chris Columbus made his daughters character go out with Harry.
"There's not a witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin." Ron informed Harry so he could tell the Sorting Hat he didn't want to be in Slytherin, but he really should have... thanks Ron!
"Thanks Ron for the info!" The Boy Who Lived scarred lightening-boltedly.
"That'll be 2 Knuts please." Ron said desperately. You see, for some reason he was short on cash, more than usual, because all his sponsorships had been cancelled for some reason.
The class made their way through the Chamber of Secrets and battled Tom Riddle, and seated themselves behind desks at the Roswell UFO Convention Center.
Their teacher for the day happened to be Tom Cruise in a wheelchair, who was drooling more than usual.
Hermione pulled out a huge book she got out of the library for a bit of light reading (her-dee-har-har) and opened the page on RODS and read the paragraph out aloud, seeing as Professor Cruise was on a cruise at the time... cruising the highways... drinking Vodka Cruisers.
"Rods are transparent rod shaped things with wings. They can go through things. They can be from 4 inches to 50 feet long and have been sighted both inside houses and outside."
"Nobody's safe!" Seamus jumped up and clung to Draco in 'fear'. Seamus was sent off to Azlankebankebab for violating Draco's restraining order.
"I hear they like hanging around poor people..." Neville, who was sitting next to Ron, sneezed as a ROD flew up his nose.
Tom Cruise in a wheelchair mumbled and drooled a bit more, and everyone got into partners, grabbed a tripod and camera and went outside for some ROD hunting.
"Not that kind of rod Seamus!" Dean Thomas snarled and shoved Seamus's camera away.
Ron was paired with nobody because he couldn't afford a partner, Harry was paired with Draco, and Hermione was paired with Barty Crouch. While Seamus paired with himself, Leonardo DiCaprio with Armand, Lavender with Tom the Innkeeper, Marcus Flint and Colin Creevy (who bought his own camera! Ahe!) and lastly Millicent Bullstrode was partnered with Neville.
Ron:
Ron sold the camera and tripod down on Knockturn Alley, spending the money on his plot to kill Draco................. snarl!
Harry and Draco:
The hero of Gryffindor and his arch nemesis of Slytherin, set up the tripod and camera and waited for their first ROD sighting.
"So... I hear Percy does cheap piercings..." Harry Godriced Gryffindorly.
"Merlin's Beard! Let's go find that weasel prefect right now!" Draco drawled coldly.
They found him in Hagrid's Hut a while later, piercing something for the giant man. Percy was happy to pierce a normal sized person for once, and offered his services for free.
"Oh Gods!" Rubeus (we're on a first name basis now) cried out painfully.
"Bad Hobbits! Bad Hobbits!" Fang disciplined Elijah.
Harry decided the wheatest place for him to get a piercing was his lip. He decided for Draco because Draco was to cold and pale. Harry thought his bellybutton, and a small stud in Draco's (bed) nose would make him look dreamy.
"Hagrid, what do you have pierced?" Harry asked as Percy set to work.
"Yerr... that's between me and Dumbledore." Hagrid gianted rubeusly.
"Oh Gods! Merlin's Beard!" Harry, a Gryffindor in the same year as Draco, winced as Percy pierced.
Oh wow did these two look mighty fine with their piercings. Draco's nose sparkled and Harry's lip looked way cool.
And nobody else had time to do ROD Hunting as Harry and Draco took up a lot of the chapter, so they all looked for Tom Cruise in a wheelchair for guidance. Penelope Clearwater found him- he had fallen out of his wheelchair and was drooling on the ground. Ron collected this in a jar for later.
Some random nerd checked the tapes for any ROD sightings but the class hadn't found any. Although, a rather interesting tape of Seamus was found and passed around the school for everyone to enjoy.
A.N: Watch out for those RODS... there could be one right in your house right now... Did you get our clues about the chicken chop? Review! Review! Review!