Ad Hominem
Chapter 3-Lapsus Linguae Day III
My breath made clouds in front of me as I cut through the morning fog. My run was fast, intense, and I was loving every minute of it. The sun was just starting to rise, and I was reluctant to go. I finished my lap around the school and headed towards the doors dejectedly. I looked back at the sunrise one last time and went inside. I turned after shutting the door and gasped. Malfoy was directly in front of me, only inches from my face.
"Weasley." I tried to catch my breath from the surprise so soon after my run. His eyes traversed my body like it was public domain.
"Malfoy. You were watching me run?" I asked him. His eyes narrowed as they finally fell back on mine, finished their trip.
"You were watching me run last night, I thought it only fair. And it was mildly fun. Don't think I liked it though." He was pretending to be uncaring and perturbed, but was failing. His expression changed and he suddenly looked somber and concerned. I had never seen him like that before and it actually made him more attractive. (Not that he needed it) "The way you run. What hunts you? You run as if the worst hell hounds of the underworld themselves were on your heels. What are you running from? What could be that bad?" I stared at him, my mouth open in amazement. He actually cared?
"Malfoy..." He stared at me, waiting for my answer. His eyes searched my face and he reached a hand toward my shoulder, but decided against it and pulled it back. He looked...curious about me, like he was just given something new and fascinating to explore and wonder at. "I...I've never had anyone watch me run before. I never knew I looked like that. I started running when I first started to realize I was gay, and it was my only escape. My chance at peace and my getaway from dealing with those I didn't want to find out about me. If I was scared or angry, upset or offended, I could run it off. Everything felt better after a run. And it was mine, something George and I never had to share. I told him, by the way."
"About you?"
"Yes."
"Well what did he say?"
"He was supportive of course. And I didn't tell him about you, if that's what you're getting at."
"I-" He closed his eyes and drew a breath. He opened his eyes and spoke. "You really think that low of me don't you? I didn't think for a minute that you did. I was actually concerned about you you prat. Despite common belief, I do think of others once in awhile."
"I'm sorry. I don't really think that low of you. I've actually grown quite a respect for you." I said quietly, afraid of being heard. I looked up and he was smiling. He looks amazing when he smiles.
"Weasley, you look good when you run. Get over your stupid fears and insecurities about all the shit that doesn't matter. Why did your brother tell you to snog a Slytherin?" I blinked in surprise at the sudden shift in conversation and stared at him. He didn't look...well, like Malfoy. The Malfoy we know is always sneering and scowling. This Malfoy, wherever he came from, looked downright happy with life.
"Why do you care? Do you want it to be you? Get over yourself." He stared at me but he didn't get angry.
"I'm getting better Weasley. Becoming more careful with my anger. You'll have to try harder next time. I care because...does it matter? I care, okay? So now that you have someone to talk to about this shit, talk!"
"Oh. So that's it. You do know we're missing breakfast?"
"Only the start, so far. Answer me."
"I'm getting there Malfoy! Every morning I run, and I get back early. When I go to the Great Hall it's always empty. The morning of the quidditch match I was there alone and I heard something from the Slytherin table. I had never heard anything unusual before, after four years of being alone there in the mornings. I told George I thought it was weird, and that I had been thinking about Slytherins. He got mad at me after I said I wouldn't ask out Angelina so that he and Katie and Angelina and I could double date, and he blurted it out."
"So what was the noise?" He looked interested. Was this really Malfoy?
"How the fuck should I know? You're the Slytherin here, not me."
"I'll ask around, but Slytherins don't get up early."
"I'm hungry, are you coming to breakfast?" He surveyed me, figuring out everything I could mean by that simple question, and gave a quick nod. We headed to the Great Hall and stopped at the doors.
"I'll wait, you first." He said. I looked back at him as I entered the Hall. Only a few people looked up at me, George among them. I hurried to him and sat down.
"Where the hell have you been? You're never here late!" He hissed at me, not wanting to arouse suspicion from anyone near us.
"I wanted to watch the sunrise...and I got caught up talking to someone." Malfoy picked the wrong second to open the door. George's eyes darted to it and focused on him. He whipped back to me with rage.
"Malfoy! Malfoy! You were talking to Malfoy?"
"George, George please be quiet!" He looked at me and nodded.
"Sorry, sorry. Just...Malfoy? Come on! What the hell did you talk about?"
"Running." I answered calmly while I started to eat.
"Running. What the hell is with you?"
"Apparently he runs as well, at night though."
"Well how did you run into him? The Slytherin common rooms aren't near the main doors." Damn, he had a point. "And how did the two of you start talking enough to figure that out?"
"I just came back in after running and he was there. We had detention together."
"Snape gave Malfoy detention?!"
"Shh!"
"Right, sorry. Just excited. Wait, so he was waiting for you after your run?"
"Something like that. He just asked me why I run."
"And you told him?" I nodded. "Why do you run anyway? I don't think I've ever asked." He had calmed down, thankfully.
"Well, I started fourth year, and that's when I knew about me. It was my escape, and my stress relief."
"Oh! I get it. Wait, why does Malfoy run?"
"He didn't tell me." I answered quickly, maybe too quickly. He looked suspicious.
"Is that who you said you couldn't tell me about?!"
"George..." I groaned. "I can't believe you. It's not fair! I feel like I've betrayed him."
"Did he trust you? More importantly, do you trust him?"
"I..." Dumbledore stood up and the hall was silent. George glanced at me grumpily. Dumbledore started to speak, and I noticed the teachers were looking weary.
"I would ask for the undivided attention of everyone in this hall. It is for reasons that must not be shared at this time that I make this announcement. We ask all of you to please return to your common rooms and remain there until further notice. I ask you not to panic, as I assure you that no student or teacher is in danger. Perhaps I will be able to explain this soon, but not at present. Head boy and girl, prefects, please lead the students out."
There was a great sound of voices rising and chairs scraping. George grabbed my arm to stay together in the crowd. We didn't bother trying to speak until we reached the common room where we could be alone. I couldn't help but look towards the Slytherin table, and my eyes caught sight of platinum blonde against the mass of black robes that was Hogwarts. I hadn't really wanted to look for Malfoy, but I supposed that's what I was doing. Before I realized it he was looking at me across the hall, and his gaze, as always, seemed to penetrate more than air and people. I looked back at him in surprise, but proceeded to meet his stare. The Slytherins reached the door before we did and I lost sight of him. This was a much better way to spend a Friday than sitting through class. We would get a three-day weekend. Before I realized it we were in the common room. I guess I've done it so many times I just don't think about it anymore. George grabbed my hand and pulled me into our corner, where everyone knew not to disturb us.
"What the hell is going on?" He whispered.
"I don't know. Ask Harry. If anyone would know, he would." George nodded.
"Oi! Harry!" George called and Harry walked to us, thankfully alone. "Do you know what this is all about?"
"Um, I don't think Dumbledore wants this out."
"Come on Harry! We could just beat it out of you, you know?"
"Good bye guys." He called as he walked away, arms folded in defiance.
"Damn. Looks like we'll have to wait this one out. So what the fuck? Malfoy?" He hadn't forgotten, unsurprisingly. I sighed.
"George, Malfoy and I had detention together, and Snape made us work together. We figured it out as we were finishing detention, about each other I mean. We also realized Snape had done it on purpose so Malfoy wouldn't keep going to him about it. Last night when I ran out it was because I had seen Malfoy running, just like I do, for the second time. That's why he was watching me run this morning." George just sat and stared at me. He clearly wasn't expecting an explanation like that.
"So Malfoy runs for the same reasons you do?"
"I told you. I didn't get a chance to ask. He asked me a lot of questions. He's very mature for a fifth year."
"He asked you a lot of questions? Fred, this could all be a scheme to blackmail you or something! How can you trust him?! How-" He was getting very loud, and I jumped and put a hand over his mouth to silence him. "Sorry. But how can you be doing this?"
"Doing what? Talking to the only other person in this school that I know of that's gay? What's the harm in that? He needs it too. I've seen it in his eyes. We have everything to lose by betraying the confidence, and who knows, we might gain something from all this. Trust me George, even if you would never in a thousand years trust him, trust me. He's got as much to lose as I do. I know for sure that he's gay."
"How?" I glanced away, but knew I couldn't avoid the question. George's eyes burned into mine, urging me to speak.
"Umm, George, I don't think you want to know. Trust me."
"Tell me Fred." I grumbled at him but spoke.
"Well, during detention we had a few small fights. During the last one, which involved me holding him against the wall, he found out for sure about me. But that's when I knew for sure about him, because when I had him against the wall, he um, well..."
"Come on! Spit it out!"
"-He liked it." George's eyes widened slightly.
"Woah. As in liked it? Aroused by it? Aroused by you?" I flinched. I hated doing this to Malfoy. Wait a minute. What? What was I doing to Malfoy? And why did I care?
"Yes, aroused, I don't know for sure if it was me or just the act itself. We both agreed to keep it a secret."
"But you didn't. You lied to him. Good show Fred!"
"Shut it!" George looked stunned at my sudden anger. "You think I'm happy you found out? I feel like shit, breaking my promise to him. Even if it's Malfoy, a promise is a promise. And I didn't even really tell you, you found out!"
"Do you trust him?"
"Look, George I don't want-"
"Don't fucking skirt the question again Fred! Do you trust him?!"
"Yes! Yes, alright? I trust him, and god help me for it." George let out an angry breath and stormed off. Great. That's just what I need. Now the only person I want to talk to is out of reach in the Slytherin dungeons. The common room was suddenly quiet and I turned in my chair towards the door. Professor McGonigal had come in and was asking for quiet.
"I'm sure you're all very curious as to why we've cancelled classes for the day." There was a muffled sound of agreement. "The headmaster had received information regarding the whereabouts of known fugitive Sirius Black, and they happened to correspond with a location very near us. The Forbidden Forest actually." There was a small gasp from some of the girls. "We've asked that students remain in the castle until we've finished searching the grounds. We've thoroughly searched the castle, and placed defense spells everywhere wands could reach. You are as safe as can be in the castle. We must stress that you do not leave the castle, and that you remain calm. We are leaving a few teachers in the school but many of us are searching the grounds. Gryffindors, please don't step out of line, Professor Snape will remain in the castle." Her eyes darted to Harry and Ron. "Meals will occur at their scheduled time, but classes are officially cancelled. You are free to move about the school, but please obey the teachers, and Filch. Thank you." She turned and left. She was very no- nonsense and seemed to be hiding anger. The common room erupted with noise. Some were panicking over Sirius, but those of us that knew him weren't. He told us that he would never come near the school, so it was most likely just rumors. Malfoy. What the fuck? Where does his name fit in my thoughts? Oh. George is mad at me and I want to talk to someone. Now that we can leave the common room, some part of me immediately thought of going to see him. Lapsus Linguae-A slip of the tongue
Chapter 3-Lapsus Linguae Day III
My breath made clouds in front of me as I cut through the morning fog. My run was fast, intense, and I was loving every minute of it. The sun was just starting to rise, and I was reluctant to go. I finished my lap around the school and headed towards the doors dejectedly. I looked back at the sunrise one last time and went inside. I turned after shutting the door and gasped. Malfoy was directly in front of me, only inches from my face.
"Weasley." I tried to catch my breath from the surprise so soon after my run. His eyes traversed my body like it was public domain.
"Malfoy. You were watching me run?" I asked him. His eyes narrowed as they finally fell back on mine, finished their trip.
"You were watching me run last night, I thought it only fair. And it was mildly fun. Don't think I liked it though." He was pretending to be uncaring and perturbed, but was failing. His expression changed and he suddenly looked somber and concerned. I had never seen him like that before and it actually made him more attractive. (Not that he needed it) "The way you run. What hunts you? You run as if the worst hell hounds of the underworld themselves were on your heels. What are you running from? What could be that bad?" I stared at him, my mouth open in amazement. He actually cared?
"Malfoy..." He stared at me, waiting for my answer. His eyes searched my face and he reached a hand toward my shoulder, but decided against it and pulled it back. He looked...curious about me, like he was just given something new and fascinating to explore and wonder at. "I...I've never had anyone watch me run before. I never knew I looked like that. I started running when I first started to realize I was gay, and it was my only escape. My chance at peace and my getaway from dealing with those I didn't want to find out about me. If I was scared or angry, upset or offended, I could run it off. Everything felt better after a run. And it was mine, something George and I never had to share. I told him, by the way."
"About you?"
"Yes."
"Well what did he say?"
"He was supportive of course. And I didn't tell him about you, if that's what you're getting at."
"I-" He closed his eyes and drew a breath. He opened his eyes and spoke. "You really think that low of me don't you? I didn't think for a minute that you did. I was actually concerned about you you prat. Despite common belief, I do think of others once in awhile."
"I'm sorry. I don't really think that low of you. I've actually grown quite a respect for you." I said quietly, afraid of being heard. I looked up and he was smiling. He looks amazing when he smiles.
"Weasley, you look good when you run. Get over your stupid fears and insecurities about all the shit that doesn't matter. Why did your brother tell you to snog a Slytherin?" I blinked in surprise at the sudden shift in conversation and stared at him. He didn't look...well, like Malfoy. The Malfoy we know is always sneering and scowling. This Malfoy, wherever he came from, looked downright happy with life.
"Why do you care? Do you want it to be you? Get over yourself." He stared at me but he didn't get angry.
"I'm getting better Weasley. Becoming more careful with my anger. You'll have to try harder next time. I care because...does it matter? I care, okay? So now that you have someone to talk to about this shit, talk!"
"Oh. So that's it. You do know we're missing breakfast?"
"Only the start, so far. Answer me."
"I'm getting there Malfoy! Every morning I run, and I get back early. When I go to the Great Hall it's always empty. The morning of the quidditch match I was there alone and I heard something from the Slytherin table. I had never heard anything unusual before, after four years of being alone there in the mornings. I told George I thought it was weird, and that I had been thinking about Slytherins. He got mad at me after I said I wouldn't ask out Angelina so that he and Katie and Angelina and I could double date, and he blurted it out."
"So what was the noise?" He looked interested. Was this really Malfoy?
"How the fuck should I know? You're the Slytherin here, not me."
"I'll ask around, but Slytherins don't get up early."
"I'm hungry, are you coming to breakfast?" He surveyed me, figuring out everything I could mean by that simple question, and gave a quick nod. We headed to the Great Hall and stopped at the doors.
"I'll wait, you first." He said. I looked back at him as I entered the Hall. Only a few people looked up at me, George among them. I hurried to him and sat down.
"Where the hell have you been? You're never here late!" He hissed at me, not wanting to arouse suspicion from anyone near us.
"I wanted to watch the sunrise...and I got caught up talking to someone." Malfoy picked the wrong second to open the door. George's eyes darted to it and focused on him. He whipped back to me with rage.
"Malfoy! Malfoy! You were talking to Malfoy?"
"George, George please be quiet!" He looked at me and nodded.
"Sorry, sorry. Just...Malfoy? Come on! What the hell did you talk about?"
"Running." I answered calmly while I started to eat.
"Running. What the hell is with you?"
"Apparently he runs as well, at night though."
"Well how did you run into him? The Slytherin common rooms aren't near the main doors." Damn, he had a point. "And how did the two of you start talking enough to figure that out?"
"I just came back in after running and he was there. We had detention together."
"Snape gave Malfoy detention?!"
"Shh!"
"Right, sorry. Just excited. Wait, so he was waiting for you after your run?"
"Something like that. He just asked me why I run."
"And you told him?" I nodded. "Why do you run anyway? I don't think I've ever asked." He had calmed down, thankfully.
"Well, I started fourth year, and that's when I knew about me. It was my escape, and my stress relief."
"Oh! I get it. Wait, why does Malfoy run?"
"He didn't tell me." I answered quickly, maybe too quickly. He looked suspicious.
"Is that who you said you couldn't tell me about?!"
"George..." I groaned. "I can't believe you. It's not fair! I feel like I've betrayed him."
"Did he trust you? More importantly, do you trust him?"
"I..." Dumbledore stood up and the hall was silent. George glanced at me grumpily. Dumbledore started to speak, and I noticed the teachers were looking weary.
"I would ask for the undivided attention of everyone in this hall. It is for reasons that must not be shared at this time that I make this announcement. We ask all of you to please return to your common rooms and remain there until further notice. I ask you not to panic, as I assure you that no student or teacher is in danger. Perhaps I will be able to explain this soon, but not at present. Head boy and girl, prefects, please lead the students out."
There was a great sound of voices rising and chairs scraping. George grabbed my arm to stay together in the crowd. We didn't bother trying to speak until we reached the common room where we could be alone. I couldn't help but look towards the Slytherin table, and my eyes caught sight of platinum blonde against the mass of black robes that was Hogwarts. I hadn't really wanted to look for Malfoy, but I supposed that's what I was doing. Before I realized it he was looking at me across the hall, and his gaze, as always, seemed to penetrate more than air and people. I looked back at him in surprise, but proceeded to meet his stare. The Slytherins reached the door before we did and I lost sight of him. This was a much better way to spend a Friday than sitting through class. We would get a three-day weekend. Before I realized it we were in the common room. I guess I've done it so many times I just don't think about it anymore. George grabbed my hand and pulled me into our corner, where everyone knew not to disturb us.
"What the hell is going on?" He whispered.
"I don't know. Ask Harry. If anyone would know, he would." George nodded.
"Oi! Harry!" George called and Harry walked to us, thankfully alone. "Do you know what this is all about?"
"Um, I don't think Dumbledore wants this out."
"Come on Harry! We could just beat it out of you, you know?"
"Good bye guys." He called as he walked away, arms folded in defiance.
"Damn. Looks like we'll have to wait this one out. So what the fuck? Malfoy?" He hadn't forgotten, unsurprisingly. I sighed.
"George, Malfoy and I had detention together, and Snape made us work together. We figured it out as we were finishing detention, about each other I mean. We also realized Snape had done it on purpose so Malfoy wouldn't keep going to him about it. Last night when I ran out it was because I had seen Malfoy running, just like I do, for the second time. That's why he was watching me run this morning." George just sat and stared at me. He clearly wasn't expecting an explanation like that.
"So Malfoy runs for the same reasons you do?"
"I told you. I didn't get a chance to ask. He asked me a lot of questions. He's very mature for a fifth year."
"He asked you a lot of questions? Fred, this could all be a scheme to blackmail you or something! How can you trust him?! How-" He was getting very loud, and I jumped and put a hand over his mouth to silence him. "Sorry. But how can you be doing this?"
"Doing what? Talking to the only other person in this school that I know of that's gay? What's the harm in that? He needs it too. I've seen it in his eyes. We have everything to lose by betraying the confidence, and who knows, we might gain something from all this. Trust me George, even if you would never in a thousand years trust him, trust me. He's got as much to lose as I do. I know for sure that he's gay."
"How?" I glanced away, but knew I couldn't avoid the question. George's eyes burned into mine, urging me to speak.
"Umm, George, I don't think you want to know. Trust me."
"Tell me Fred." I grumbled at him but spoke.
"Well, during detention we had a few small fights. During the last one, which involved me holding him against the wall, he found out for sure about me. But that's when I knew for sure about him, because when I had him against the wall, he um, well..."
"Come on! Spit it out!"
"-He liked it." George's eyes widened slightly.
"Woah. As in liked it? Aroused by it? Aroused by you?" I flinched. I hated doing this to Malfoy. Wait a minute. What? What was I doing to Malfoy? And why did I care?
"Yes, aroused, I don't know for sure if it was me or just the act itself. We both agreed to keep it a secret."
"But you didn't. You lied to him. Good show Fred!"
"Shut it!" George looked stunned at my sudden anger. "You think I'm happy you found out? I feel like shit, breaking my promise to him. Even if it's Malfoy, a promise is a promise. And I didn't even really tell you, you found out!"
"Do you trust him?"
"Look, George I don't want-"
"Don't fucking skirt the question again Fred! Do you trust him?!"
"Yes! Yes, alright? I trust him, and god help me for it." George let out an angry breath and stormed off. Great. That's just what I need. Now the only person I want to talk to is out of reach in the Slytherin dungeons. The common room was suddenly quiet and I turned in my chair towards the door. Professor McGonigal had come in and was asking for quiet.
"I'm sure you're all very curious as to why we've cancelled classes for the day." There was a muffled sound of agreement. "The headmaster had received information regarding the whereabouts of known fugitive Sirius Black, and they happened to correspond with a location very near us. The Forbidden Forest actually." There was a small gasp from some of the girls. "We've asked that students remain in the castle until we've finished searching the grounds. We've thoroughly searched the castle, and placed defense spells everywhere wands could reach. You are as safe as can be in the castle. We must stress that you do not leave the castle, and that you remain calm. We are leaving a few teachers in the school but many of us are searching the grounds. Gryffindors, please don't step out of line, Professor Snape will remain in the castle." Her eyes darted to Harry and Ron. "Meals will occur at their scheduled time, but classes are officially cancelled. You are free to move about the school, but please obey the teachers, and Filch. Thank you." She turned and left. She was very no- nonsense and seemed to be hiding anger. The common room erupted with noise. Some were panicking over Sirius, but those of us that knew him weren't. He told us that he would never come near the school, so it was most likely just rumors. Malfoy. What the fuck? Where does his name fit in my thoughts? Oh. George is mad at me and I want to talk to someone. Now that we can leave the common room, some part of me immediately thought of going to see him. Lapsus Linguae-A slip of the tongue